Ned Racaza Nepangue

Yes

We can never see same river twice, meaning, we cannot re-grow the hairs we lost and cannot erase deep facial creases. Amen?

Everything is impermanent. And we're losing hairs. But don't worry once we all reach our second childhood, we'll have them all again. Promise!

Now, you want to read a sad life story, you sado-masochists? Really? Well, here's mine . . .


After High School, I decided to take up Medical Technology from Southwestern University in Cebu City, the main reason was because,. I did not like mathematics . . . not because I like to soil myself with filthy fluids and and tinker with those ascaris-laden excreta, you all know what I mean?

I graduated in 1983 (sin laude, without honors lol). Ahhh, I was so naïve and was so challenged by this girl classmate of mine who busted me and so I took up Medicine (what a silly and flimsy reason, isn't it?) Fortunately I did not have a hard time and finished it on time in 1987. I took the Med Tech and Medicine licensure exams in 1989 and passed.

I was first employed as the Municipal Health Officer of Polanco, Zambo del Norte and concurrently as the Chief of the Laboratory (ZN Provincial Hospital, a cecondary hospital facility, because I happened to be a licensed Med Tech as well). Part of my job then was to examine corpses (remember Michael Jackson’s “Thriller”?) and served as an expert witness in court (I hated the latter part). It was in the eighties, you know, and the leftists' causa was so strong and active then in Zamboanga peninsula. I finally absconded from that risky and boring job and moved back here in Cebu.

Eng, eng, eng . . . then here the sad part begins . . .

You see, my exposures to the sick and dying, the smelly and nakakadiri, made me "sick and coward" about life; it taught me that getting married early in life is very risky proposition (boy, I was dead wrong). I saw many malnourished children died in the wards because their parents couldn't afford the meds they needed. I didn't want to follow the same fate.

So after years of delaying and pushing my luck, I finally decided to settle down, to get married and after I was introduced to my wife on my 32nd birthday (the greatest birthday gift I ever had). She was my first girlfriend (I was so darn Catholic, you know, that was why I tried my best to avoid fornication because, accordingly, fornicators cannot go to heaven see 2 Corinthians 6:9 lol. . . . wtf . Susmariosep lami man diay!). So eleven days after I met her, we became "intimate friends" so intimate that I could examine all the orifices lol (and I couldn't imagined, I was that fast, wow! I was wasting opportunities - the nurses, the beautiful med reps, you know) So we got married a year after (1994) and then year after (1995). Married twice to the same person can you dig that?

She wanted to have a baby, but I said “no way,” since the images of those poor children back in the Pedia Ward of Southern Islands Hospital, still haunted me. One time she missed her period and I was so worried.

Then in February 2(Monday),, 1998 she took the ill-fated Cebu Pacific Air Flight 387 which crashed and got crushed somewhere in Mt. Kitanglad, Northern Mindanao when it was about to land Cagayan de Oro. I spent 28 days in Cagayan de Oro, and the place was no chada anymore. She was one-month pregnant with our supposed firstborn. "Oh death where is thy sting?"

So everytime I see your happy pictures with your happy families. F***! I cried inside and ask myself “Why me? I was a good boy scout?” But, I am trying to be loyal to my macho image, so I don't show you my tears (besides what's in it for you?)

So this sad saga continues . . ..I am living a very lonely life now (but am not contemplating of taking Diprivan since am not pop star, you know what I mean? lol).

Then about two years ago I lost my right eye sight, secondary to a detached retina. There was bleeding inside so that my right eyeball now is full of blood instead of the clearer vitreous humor. They cannot fix the bleeding with photo-coagulation using laser since it is clouded with blood. The suggestion is to do vitrectomy on my right eye where they get all the bloody contents from my eyeball and infuse a clear fluid. The difficult part is – I have to assume a prone position for one month to let the bubbles up and help re-attach the retina. I don’t like the position unless Somebody’s gentle hands massages my back. I was able to stop the bleeding in my left eye through the laser though (I am so grateful that we humans were designed to have two eyes).And so I am now a "one-eyed swordsman” of sort. So please assist me when I try to cross the road at night, will you? Maluoy pud mo oi! Pang-good karma lang gud.

Yes I am just getting old earlier than most of you because of my diabetes milletus type II.

But life must go on, oh yeah, and I am contemplating to get married again this year (2009), inshallah, and hope I won't lost it again.

So that’s my line for the question, “What have you been to since 1979?” And yes one more minor thing; I already lost my upper premolars on both sides since 1979, and my father too lately. I gained a lot points though, with my blood sugars, cholesterol and triglycerides. Hmmm, I just wonder if I can still be around with you all, in our 50th.

The moral lesson? Get married early (or encourage your children to get married early and financially support them).Don’t encourage them to eat too much ice cream and soda; give them money for liquor instead (just a nasty joke). Number two- love your spouse or spouses - while she/he still there, regardless, how big his abdominal girth maybe or how ugly she looks maybe (those flabby triceps, extra large and sagging butts and all). Or how dried-up (no more lube) the vital orifice, maybe.

You will miss her/him once she/he is no more. To avoid the vacuum, that likely o haunt weeks after he /she is gone, better still get reservation earlier (another stupid insinuation –but don’t take this lightly since there is a profound wisdom on this, believe me).

BTW, am not a funny man, but I find it easy to tell all these here if I think funny while I am writing them now (oh my, my fingers starting to be arthritic). So when we meet, act serious, since I am not a your conventioanl stand-up comedian. And if you happen to be in my right side of vision, expect me then to be snobbish but no offense meant, comprende? Muy bien, por eso, dinhi na lang ko kutob.

And yes, finally always think how damn lucky you are. Peace and stop crying!

Well, nothing remarkable but all that boyscouting, belt loops and push-ups.

But yes, I can’t forget those big acne vulgaris that almost consume my face. there were times, light-greenish suppuration spewed from my face, that is why I have these facial scars to remind me. A classmate used to tease and call me “Rudolph” since most of the times, I had blushed nose caused by my acne. I had two big protruding teeth and had a peso for my daily allowance.

I really hate to attend those masses every First Fridays. I just attended since they checked the attendance.

But f*** these people were forcing us to do things against our will. They were acting like terrorists without us knowing it. I hope they stop this fascist practice now. Mind you, it was not good for the soul. Ahh, to hell that talk about discipline and being pious. Just to show, that we were more Catholic than Generalissimo Francisco Franco? (remember that Social Studies “Current Events” newsletter?)

Yes I had my “crushes” too, but with that starving daily allowance, what could I do? Kulang pa gani sa pang halo-halo nako sa De Luxe. Where could I get the needed confidence to approach any of them? But then I am thankful now - omigosh, they look so fat now! Lol

I also remember that I frequently had the bottom of my pants khaki ripped – we used to have our “sparring sessions” at noon pretending to be Meng Fei, Wang Yu, Carter Wang, Chen Xing. Well, I was Chen Xing because of my almost acne-laden facie.

I didn’t like to ride jeepney without “sounds”. “Staying alive. staying alive huh huh huh staying alive staying alive.” Now people who dance that way, simply look stupid. But that was our time and we never thought we looked and acted that stupid. “Clap-clap-clap-clapclapclapclapclap . Carwasher . . .” I doesn’t mean a thing now, does it? We simply missed the times, tha'e it, but who cares if we still dance the “Il Bimbo”, the “Hassle”? And sang the Stylistcs’ “Miracle”?
“And I put down the fools
who said that life was meaningful
Laughed when someone mentioned miracle
Cried ‘cause such things were impossible
And then you came alone. So I believe “

The Intramurals . . . what a break for us. Time to biga-biga gud remember. Yes it was simply a hormonal phenomenon.

And those who humiliated us by making us kneel in the corridors for our “petty crimes”” - How dare you? Did you know how embarrassing it was for us when students from Girls High passed by? It didn’t make you rich, right?

And inthe early in the morning from Mondays to Fridays, we sang “Mabuhay, mabuhay, mabuhay ang Filipino . . .” We really didn’t enjoy thaaaaat. What was this self praising, by the way? Was it narcissism or blind Filipinism? We won’t do it for you again, unless you pay us. lol

It was only when I was working on my parade drum in the street that I enjoyed a lot. Let me do it again. lol