Suzie Jones passed away on December 1, 1979 in Santa Rosa, Calif
When time is running out
Sometimes world events seem very important — newspaper headlines flash the latest developments in Tehran and Washington, D.C. — and sometimes those events appear totally insignificant, totally meaningless.
Sometimes the happenings of ordinary life — birth, marriage, death — are more important than anything else.
I went to elementary school in Claremont, a southern California college town of 10,000 people, with Suzy Jones, a cousin. Debbie Reynolds cute, Suzy was as All-American as her name. Sixth-grade boys dreamed of playing spin the bottle with her; later, at Whittier College, the students elected her homecoming queen.
Over the years, Suzy and I kept in touch by mail. A postcard. A Christmas card. She married, taught elementary school, gave birth to two boys, Benjamin and Teddy, and then divorced. Nothing extrordinarily unusual in her life.
Three years ago, Suzy discovered she had cancer. A masectomy followed. Then radiation and chemotherapy. "The cure is definitely worse than the disease," she wrote to me in March 1978, "as far as pain and discomfort. Actually, it's not so bad and will be worth it, if it works. It's much harder dealing with the fear of recurrence."
I made a point of visiting Suzy several months later. She looked fine. She lived alone in Forestville, a village north of San Francisco on the Russian River, not far from the redwoods and the Korbel vineyards. Her husband, who had remarried, and her children lived nearby. She was making a sampler quilt and sewing a long, Tibetan sleeveless coat from fabric she had woven. The coat would be purchased by a California pattern company.
"I would like to work for myself," she said. "Mid-life crisis is only a prelude to the crises to follow. Wait 'til you realize that time is running out and you haven't done everything you've wanted to."
Suzy, her brother, David, and I walked through the red-woods, listening to the whistling wind and then to the silence. We drove west to the Pacific Ocean and stood on the rocks above the beach until the wet, cold spray numbed us. Then we bought five pints of raspberries and returned to Suzy's small cottage to gorge ourselves. That evening, we spent two hours over a Mexican dinner, talking with Suzy's boyfriend, a blacksmith, about the artistry involved in making knives by hand.
The telephone call came last Sunday night from Suzy's mother. Suzy had died. She was 38 years old.
There had been round after round of radiation and chemotheraphy. The homecoming queen had been left without any hair. The masectomy had been followed by other operations, the final one — a chest tube insertion — designed to remove fluids from her lungs. For a moment, Suzy felt relief. She could breathe again. She told her mother, "I think I'm going to make it."
But Suzy's lungs collapsed. "At the very last," her mother said, "every cell in her body was destroyed by the cancer." Suzy hadn't given up, but her body had.
Peace overcame pain.
Before she died, Suzy had planned her own funeral service — communion at her ex-husband's home, her favorite poems and songs, her family close to her.
The way an "ordinary" person dies isn't news. Ask a reporter, he'll tell you such a death isn't significant. But isn't it important that some people learn how to die as well as how to live?
Loren, What a BEAUTIFUL tribute to Suzy. I certainly hope someone does something half as nice for me when it's my time to go. I remember Suzy fondly even though she was a little older. She was everything you said about her. So very sorry she had to go so young. Thank you, Stan Burwell, class of '61
Loren, Thanks for the wonderful tribute to your cousin, Suzie. I had known of her passing many years ago. She was a real warrior in her fight against cancer. I didn't know her well but always admired her, as we all did, for her beauty, friendliness and kind heart. I had no idea that you were cousins!
I believe that Suzie will be at our 50th reunion, if not in body, then in spirit. John Birnie
Thank you for telling us in such a warm and emotional way about Suzy. With "emotional" I mean full of feelings in a positiv way - Suzy now lives in our minds as a wise grownup person and we will miss her so much when we all meet in June. Stina Söderlundh Clason
I have often thought how sad it was that Suzy was not with us any more and unable to be with us at the 30th reunion. I remember her at one earlier and she had so much fun showing her boyfriend or husband all her ex boy friends. We had a great time together in High school and even got thrown into jail together along with Dan Jones and Mary Koeth. I was persona non grata in that house after that.
It was just tonight that I took the time to read some of the memory writings and was shocked that we both lived about 6 miles from each other here in Sonoma County and It would of been so nice to know that and rekindle our friendship even if it were to be but a few years.
Thanks for the tribute to my classmate. Carl Myers
Beth Booth
Thanks, Loren, for your lovely tribute to Suzy.Stanley Burwell (1961)
Loren,What a BEAUTIFUL tribute to Suzy. I certainly hope someone does something half as nice for me when it's my time to go. I remember Suzy fondly even though she was a little older. She was everything you said about her. So very sorry she had to go so young.
Thank you,
Stan Burwell, class of '61
John Birnie
Loren, Thanks for the wonderful tribute to your cousin, Suzie. I had known of her passing many years ago. She was a real warrior in her fight against cancer. I didn't know her well but always admired her, as we all did, for her beauty, friendliness and kind heart. I had no idea that you were cousins!
I believe that Suzie will be at our 50th reunion, if not in body, then in spirit. John Birnie
Stina Söderlundh (Clason )
Thank you for telling us in such a warm and emotional way about Suzy. With "emotional" I mean full of feelings in a positiv way - Suzy now lives in our minds as a wise grownup person and we will miss her so much when we all meet in June. Stina Söderlundh Clason
Carl Myers
Loren,I have often thought how sad it was that Suzy was not with us any more and unable to be with us at the 30th reunion. I remember her at one earlier and she had so much fun showing her boyfriend or husband all her ex boy friends. We had a great time together in High school and even got thrown into jail together along with Dan Jones and Mary Koeth. I was persona non grata in that house after that.
It was just tonight that I took the time to read some of the memory writings and was shocked that we both lived about 6 miles from each other here in Sonoma County and It would of been so nice to know that and rekindle our friendship even if it were to be but a few years.
Thanks for the tribute to my classmate. Carl Myers
Betty Haas (Hammond )
Thank you so much for the beautiful tribute. Suzy was so beautiful both inside and out.Betty