You know you're from Montesano if...

• You won’t swim in Lake Sylvia because it used to have leeches, but you’ll swim in Elma Ponds, where one dead body is found each year.
• You learned to drive on the Brady Loop when you were 12.
• Everyone comes back for the homecoming game.
• You own at least 1 pair of Carhartts and 1 hickory shirt (not to mention know what they are).
• You know everyone who bags your groceries, and their family, and their pets.
• You learned square dancing in P.E.
• You went to the bowling alley for class.
• Your mayor knows everyone’s first names and you’ve called him by his.
• When you tell people you're from Pacific Northwest/Washington…you say “Montesano….Elma…..Aberdeen….Okay, 45 miles west of Olympia, the Capitol.”
• You know the news before its published, and just check with the Vidette to make sure they got it right.
• You can name everyone you graduated with.
• You went to parties at the Moose Lodge.
• You know the Chief Monte “say No” story.
• You went to Wild Waves for Senior Skip Day, which was scheduled by the school.
• You were always proud to say you and the rest of the “cool kids” were from Beacon or Simpson, which ever you attended.
• You can walk around town at 2am with no fear.
• You can’t help but date a friend’s ex or family member.
• It's normal for people to show up to school drenched in mud.
• You or several of your friends had gunracks in their trucks.
• You know how to pronounce Yakima, Puyallup, Sequim, and Issaquah.
• You make fun of people from Matlock.
• You wore your letterman’s jacket after your 19th birthday.
• You decide to walk somewhere for exercise and 5 people stop to ask you if you need a ride.
• There’s only one highway exit to downtown.
• Over half of your graduating class went to USA (University of South Aberdeen, home of the Chokers!)
• You know what a Choker is.
• You tell others that your town’s claim to fame is Kurt Cobain.
• Your entire graduating class went to the same after graduation party.
• As a child you went to a tree farm, a fish hatchery, and the nuke plant on field trips.
• Your international Travel includes Victoria, BC Canada and Tijuana, Mexico.
• The teachers call you by your older siblings names.
• Prom and the Homecoming dance were held in your cafeteria.
• Your teachers remember when they taught your parents.
• You and your friends decided they wanted to rent a movie, but that’s impossible after 8 pm.
• Your grandma really does live over the river and through the woods.
• You think Eastern Washington is too brown.
• You think Seattle’s got it easy when it comes to rain.
• Going “into town” means Aberdeen and “going shopping” means Olympia.
• You don’t laugh when someone says “Humptulips”.
• 3 out of 4 cars have been totaled by deer.
• You schedule trips “into town” whether the bridge is up or not.
• You’ve been to camp or college and nobody can pronounce your town name, or they say, "Is that in California?".
• It was never “uncool” to be in band.
• You think a town with two or more fast food restaurants is a city.
• You think diversity is having 2 foreign exchange students and one Korean family.
• You forget you own a phone book, because you can just call other people to get anyone else's number.
• Your snob hill isn’t really snobby, the houses are just bigger.
• You remember the Kingdome and when Ken Griffey Jr. was still on the Mariners.
• Your math teacher, physics teacher, basketball and golf coach, club advisor, and employer are all the same person.
• You are stopped by a police officer just to be asked how your family is doing.
• You are scared to death to be stopped by a police officer for doing something illegal because they all know your parents.
• You believe that spotted owl does, in fact, taste like chicken.
• You don’t even know the street names in your town, you give directions by saying “Drive past Melissa’s, turn left at the high school, right at the 3rd stop sign, pass Thriftway, make a right at the light (because there is only one) and it's right there.”
• Your school will never enforce a drug test because there wouldn’t be an athletic program left.
• You never thought "Hillbilly Tolo" was unusual or funny.
• You didn't have to go on a shopping trip for your Hillbilly Tolo clothing.
• You wear your boyfriends sweatshirt to school, because he goes to a different school.
• You can’t find any food better than Crow’s Nest, and you never get sick of it even if you or half your friends have worked there.
• You nodded your head and laughed to most of these jokes.

• You remember when Pee Wee Herman wasn't a pervert.
• You still have a tendency to turn up the collar on your polo shirts.
• You are now or have ever worn blue eye shadow and feathered hair.
• Six words “this is your brain on drugs”.
• You're still hoping for a NKOTB reunion tour. 
• You know who Martha Quinn is.
• You actually believed that a folded piece of paper and your two hands could tell your fortune.
• You had ringside seats for Luke and Laura’s wedding.
• You ever did the following dances: “The Prep”, “Cabbage Patch”, “and The Running Man”.
• You wanted to go “Where Everybody Knows Your Name”.
• You ever tried getting in an out of the car through the windows like Bo & Luke Duke.
• You owned jelly shoes.

• You wanted to wear a suit with a t-shirt underneath like Crockett & Tubbs. 
• You still wear Wet-N-Wild make-up.
• You have worn (or still do) a Members Only jacket.
• You have ever worn a Michael Jackson or Prince button.
• You wanted to be on Star Search.
• You have ever worn an off-centered ponytail.
• You think knickers and leg warmers are cool.
• You still think Donkey Kong can beat Mario up.
• You still argue over who was better, Tiffany or Debbie Gibson.
• You still argue over who was better Prince or Michael Jackson
• You were led to believe that by the year 2000 we would all be living on the moon.
• You have ever pondered why Smurfette was the ONLY female smurf.
• You wanted to have an alien like ALF or E.T. living with you.
• You wore biker shorts underneath a short skirt and felt stylish.
• You believed that “By the Power of Grayskull” you had the power.
• Every hour you turned back to MTV to watch the “Thriller” video from the beginning.
• The feeling in your thumb is just returning from holding down the big red button on the Atari joystick.
• You still think banana clips were a Godsend.