Ryan N. Sorensen

Ryan Neil Sorensen
190902
Oq 4-312 T
Utah State Prison
PO Box 250
Draper, Ut 84020

June 2021
Dear Class of 1990,

It’s humbling to write to you today as we celebrate another class reunion. I hope you were able to come through the Covid-19 pandemic with a renewed sense of your own personal strength.

Over this past decade I have marveled at the successes members of our class have achieved. Each time I see one of you on TV or read about your achievements in the newspaper I feel a sense of pride. You’ve all done so very well.

The Covid pandemic greatly affected each of us in ways that took us out of our comfort zones and routines and made us focus on what was essential in our lives and what was superficial. I admire the strength of those who had to make sacrifices in order to support their families and friends.

Life for us at the prison this past year was marked by continual change as the authorities tried to manage the spread of the virus. For much of the year we were either locked down or limited to very basic movements. It definitely forced us to be patient and to accept “the new normal”.

The miracle of the pandemic was that it drew attention to our sense of preparedness as we face uncertain challenges. Those who were prepared were better able to withstand the tightened restrictions.

Another miracle was the importance of the home. Our homes become our refuge when times get tough. As I confronted the pandemic with my cellmate, we made our “home” as comfortable as we could. By doing so we were able to maintain a more positive attitude despite the harsh restrictions.

A recurring theme for me was the parable of the 10 Virgins. I learned that my daily scripture study and prayers were the source to keep my lamp full. On days that were more difficult, I turned to the scriptures to bolster my faith that “these things, too, shall pass.”

I’m grateful to my family and friends who took the time to keep in touch. It made me feel like I didn’t have to face it all alone. Thank you all so very much.

One significant event that happened to me this past decade was in April of 2016. I was asked to give a talk at our worship service for Easter Sunday. Our guest speaker was Elder Renlund of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles. At one point in my talk, I questioned the ability to be completely forgiven for having taken a life. What happened next affected each of us there.

Elder Renlund walked to the pulpit, put his arm around my shoulder in a strong embrace and asked me to read Ezekiel 33:13-16 from his scriptures. As I read that passage, it was made very clear that full redemption is possible through the Atonement of Christ. Tears of hope poured from my eyes. The Savior sent His Apostle to bring the message of hope to we who are confined for our sins.

After 18 years of incarceration, I am grateful to have been given a second chance. None of us is too far gone for complete redemption. The road to make amends is long and arduous, but the tender mercies along the way make it bearable. I’m humbled at the plan of redemption and the hope it gives of peace and comfort. I’m trying my best to be worthy of this opportunity.

Thank you for your love and support. Your examples strengthen me and help me focus on the end goal. Our lives shouldn’t be marked by one single event, rather by the little things we do each day to become better people. You help me remember that.

May you remember to focus on what’s important in life. The past is gone but the present isn’t set in stone. Make today a little better than yesterday. Keep the faith and recognize how strong you are.

Sincerely,
Ryan :)

Ryan Neil Sorensen
190902
Utah State Pen.
P.O. Box 250
Draper, UT 84020

Written 2010
Dear Class of 1990,
I wish I could be writing you from better circumstances, but due to some decisions on my part I am now serving an 85-year sentence in prison.
On 29 April ’03 I took the life of my father-in-law. It was an act that I have regretted every day. There was no need for it and no excuse. My pride and anger were the cause of it and I wish I could turn back time and realize the consequences of my actions. In a state of rage I forgot about the effects it would have on my family, especially on my daughters, as well as my in-laws, friends and the community. It was a selfish act and one that I am ashamed of.
For six years I was housed at the Washington State Penitentiary in Walla Walla, WA. My unit was “closed custody” which is WA’s term for maximum security. There is a 20-ft wall surrounding MAX there, so the sky is the only “natural” part of the environment we saw.
After six years I received permission to transfer to Utah to be closer to my parents and family. I arrived here in April and have been in MAX here since then. Utah requires that I spend from 6-18 months in MAX before I can go to general population. It all depends on how I “behave”.
I want to apologize to everyone I have affected with my actions. The “ripple effect” continues to spread and I feel an extreme sense of shame for not being a better example.
In my H. S. years I was an Eagle Scout, Seminary Council President, and Sterling Scholar. I was also a soldier in The Utah National Guard for 13 years, returned missionary, and most important of all, a husband and a father of two beautiful daughters.
You could say I had all the advantages of life. Even so, I fell to my own pride. It has caused a lot of grief and anguish for many people.
Whether you believe in Satan or a dark side, or good and bad, it is easier to fall astray than we think. It happens little by little until we are thoroughly trapped. It can happen to anyone unless you keep up your guard.
The message I want to pass on is if it can happen to me it can happen to anyone unless you actively protect yourself and your family. Everyone is only one poor decision away from coming here.
Prison is a vile place. My eyes have been opened to a way of life I never knew existed. We truly lived in “Happy Valley”. It was a very sheltered environment, but that was also a blessing. We need to give thanks for such a peaceful place to raise our kids.
The stories about prison violence and corruption are true. At times it can be a scary and unpredictable place, especially for someone who didn’t grow up around drugs and crime. It’s an unforgiving environment where one mistake can haunt you forever or even cost you your life.
I plead with each of you to talk to your children and youth about the consequences of disobedience and breaking the law. You don’t become a criminal in one day – you start by taking small steps which lead you on to bigger ones. Even an errant thought can provide the seed for going bad. It’s best to keep far away from evil.
I have met people who want to do bad. I have also met guys, who like myself, are good people who made terrible mistakes. Not everyone in prison is a “hardened criminal”. It’s so easy to make quick judgments, but until we know all of the circumstances we can’t fault everyone who is in prison.
In my case I am guilty. There were contributing factors, but that is no excuse. I accept full responsibility for my actions and know that had I asked for help, there was another way out. My pride and anger got me into trouble and I will forever regret it.
The victims in my case, my in-laws, my ex-wife, and my daughters, plus everyone else I affected deserve my sincere apology.
Even in the most dire cases there is always hope. The Atonement of Jesus Christ has played an integral part in my repentance process. I never understood it until I had to put it to use.
Love your families. Be good to one another. Life is too short not to forgive each other and be happy.
God bless you all and your families.

Ryan N Sorensen