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1.) I am not rich yet or my job is not high-powered enough.

When will you be successful enough to face everyone? In 2029 at our 50th reunion? Please don't wait that long --- life is too short to miss a chance to connect. Check your ego and attend our reunion anyway.

2.) I'm 48 and have not yet married, had kids, bought a house, written a book, sold my screenplay, traveled the world . . .

You have been doing something during these past 30 years. Come and tell everyone about it.

3.) I'm too fat/going bald/have an embarrassing skin condition.

You aren't alone. None of these are good excuses. Pull on your Spanx, comb it over, slather on the Eucerin, and forget about it for the night.

4.) I hated everyone from high school.

Everyone? Not one single person you can remember with fondness? Check your e-mail contacts list and I bet there is at least one faithful high school pal there. Message them and see if they are going. Ask if they would like to see you there.

5.) Everyone from high school hated me or I haven't kept in touch in 30 years, so if they didn't hate me then, they hate me now.

And ignoring this problem will make it go away? Time to make amends. Show up at our reunion, make peace, and enjoy a special bonus - you won't spend the next 30 years being hated.

6.) I can't remember anyone's name.

That's why God invented name tags and an open bar.

7.) I'm afraid to see the one who broke my heart/whose heart I broke. Or, I'm afraid I won't see them.

Suck it up, they probably don't remember you anyway.

8.) I don't want my spouse to know what a loser I was in high school.

They already know and they love you anyway.

9.) I hate '70s music. I refuse to go anywhere where I might be trapped in a room listening it.

Our reunion committee hasn't hired a sadistic DJ & if you give us some notice, we'll include your song requests in our playlist.

10.) I can't go because I am having a baby, live more than 3,000 miles away, just declared bankruptcy, don't have permission from my probation officer to cross state lines...

OK, in those very special cases, you get a free get-out-of-reunion card, and we wish you well.

Seriously, there is something to celebrate about where we came from and how far we've come, even if some of you are afraid it's not far enough. We hope to see you at our 40th high school reunion !! It won't be the same without you there!








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Our Childhood in Black and White
Go all the way to the bottom. I think you'll enjoy it. Whoever wrote this, described our childhoods to a T.

Black and White
(Under age 40? You won't understand.)

You could hardly see for all the snow,
Spread the rabbit ears as far as they go.
Pull a chair up to the TV set,
'Good Night, David. Good Night, Chet.'

My Mom used to cut chicken, chop eggs and spread mayo on the same cutting board with the same knife and no bleach, but we didn't seem to get food poisoning.

My Mom used to defrost hamburger on the counter AND I used to eat it raw sometimes, too. Our school sandwiches were wrapped in wax paper in a brown paper bag, not in ice-pack coolers, but I can't remember getting e.coli .

Almost all of us would have rather gone swimming in the lake instead of a pristine pool (talk about boring), no beach closures then.

The term cell phone would have conjured up a phone in a jail cell, and a pager was the school PA system.

We all took gym, not PE .. and risked permanent injury with a pair of high top Ked's (only worn in gym) instead of having cross-training athletic shoes with air cushion soles and built in light reflectors. I can't recall any injuries but they must have happened because they tell us how much safer we are now.

Flunking gym was not an option .. even for stupid kids! I guess PE must be much harder than gym.

Speaking of school, we all said prayers and sang the national anthem, and staying in detention after school caught all sorts of negative attention.

We must have had horribly damaged psyches. What an archaic health system we had then. Remember school nurses? Ours wore a hat and everything.

I thought that I was supposed to accomplish something before I was allowed to be proud of myself..

I just can't recall how bored we were without computers, Play Station, Nintendo, X-box or 270 digital TV cable stations.

Oh yeah ... and where was the Benadryl and sterilization kit when I got that bee sting? I could have been killed!

We played 'king of the hill' on piles of gravel left on vacant construction sites, and when we got hurt, Mom pulled out the 48-cent bottle of Mercurochrome (kids liked it better because it didn't sting like iodine did) and then we got our butt spanked.

Now it's a trip to the emergency room, followed by a 10-day dose of a $49 bottle of antibiotics, and then Mom calls the attorney to sue the contractor for leaving a horribly vicious pile of gravel where it was such a threat.

We didn't act up at the neighbor's house either because if we did, we got our butt spanked there and then we got butt spanked again when we got home.

I recall Donny Reynolds from next door coming over and doing his tricks on the front stoop, just before he fell off. Little did his Mom know that she could have owned our house. Instead, she picked him up and swatted him for being such a goof. It was a neighborhood run amuck.

To top it off, not a single person I knew had ever been told that they were from a dysfunctional family.. How could we possibly have known that?

We needed to get into group therapy and anger management classes? We were obviously so duped by so many societal ills that we didn't even notice that the entire country wasn't taking Prozac! How did we ever survive?


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