What Events Happened in 1999

• Renewed fighting between Pakistan and India over Kashmir
               That Crazy Sweater has caused so many problems!
• Democracy restored to Indonesia 
               The People can controll the government, but not Tsunami's, Earth Quakes, and
                      the Bird Flu.
• Ford Acquires Volvo 
                Now Chevy and Chrystler could both be going under.
• European Union bans Beef Imports from the US over the widespread use of growth hormones 
                Then Mad Cow Desiese was discovered in Europe... Ironic?
• The human population of the world surpassed six billion. 
                 There really are only a few things you can do to entertain your self in small towns
• Euro currency introduced 
                 And quickly becomes stronger than the Dollar
• Bertrand Piccard and Brian Jones circumnavigate the world in a hot air balloon without stopping. 
                Do you think Jones misunderstood Piccard when he asked if he wanted to get high?
• The Dow Jones Industrial Average closes above 11,000 for the first time
               This year it closed under 7,000 at one point,  Good thing I put all my money in
                   Lehman Brothers... Oh Wait! 
• The International Criminal Tribunal for the Former Yugoslavia in The Hague, Netherlands indicts Slobodan Miloševic and four others for war crimes and crimes against humanity committed in Kosovo 
               Come on Milosevic Hitler so score boarded you!
• Lance Armstrong wins first Tour de France. 
               At that point he was one ball heaver than he is now.
• Jack Kervorkian was sentenced for the second-degree murder of Thomas Youk (assisted suicide).
                An Akward way to lend a helping hand.            
• Russia offensive on Chechnya using Missile Attacks 
                Russia Invaded Georgia This past August, Someone has a Chip on their Red
                     Russky Sholders
• Australian voters decided to keep the queen and not become a republic
                Keeping the Queen? So was this similar to propisition 8?
• Mattel's Barbie Doll celebrates it's 40th Birthday 
                I bet Barbie is one of those ladies that can't grow old gracefully and has tons of 
                   Plastic Surgery ( I am kind of ashamed that I had to take that joke there.)
                    TALK ABOUT A COUGAR!
• Daredevel Evil Knievel Jumps the grand canyon on a rocket powered motorcycle 
                Was that a prototype for a flying car?
• Boris Yeltsin resigns as President of Russia, replaced by Vladimir Putin 
                Who has yet to get out of controll and never plans on leaving.
• Impeachment Proceedings are bought against President Bill Clinton 
                You think Clinton could have benifitted by one of the Tide-to-Go Pens?
• Total Eclipse Of The Sun Is Seen In cities of Europe and Asia 
                That must have been Crazy to go outside and it be dark...
                        .... Oh wait I think they call that NIGHT!
• Start of Millennium celebrations worldwide (technically the Millennium started in 2001 not 2000). 
                 Some people still have rations from their Y2K bunkers they haven't finished off.

Funny, as usual!