Fun Stuff

What's Your Excuse?

If you are not coming to the reunion, you need a good excuse and a note from your Mom. The following reasons have been tried and are unacceptable.

Excuse #1: I'm overweight.
Rebuttal: You're not alone.

Excuse #2: I'm a different person than I was in high school
Rebuttal: Lucky for you, we ALL are. Let's face it: we could only have improved.

Excuse #3 I don't look as good as I'd like. I (choose one or more) am bald, have wrinkles, saddlebags, grey hair and no one will recognize me.
Rebuttal: Guess what! You won't recognize anyone else, either. Using the reunion committee as a representative sample, our whole class looks like a "before" photo in a plastic surgery ad.

Excuse #4: I'm not successful. I'm not (choose one or more) a lawyer, a doctor or rich.
Rebuttal: You'll be pleasantly surprised to find how much everyone has matured. We may be plump and wrinkled (see Excuse #3, above) but we're not stupid. Money is not success.

Excuse #5: I was not in a popular clique in school
Rebuttal: Now that we're old and smart, those cliques have dissolved just like the superficialities they were based on. The only cliques you'll notice at the reunion will be the sound of your joints as you walk around.

What  I Want In A Man!  Original  List 
1. Handsome
2. Charming
3. Financially successful
4. A caring  listener
5. Witty
6. In good shape
7. Dresses with style
8. Appreciates finer things
9. Full of thoughtful surprises
What  I Want in a Man, Revised List (age  32)
1. Nice looking
2. Opens car doors, holds  chairs
3. Has enough money for a nice  dinner
4. Listens more than  talks
5. Laughs at my jokes
6. Carries bags of groceries with ease
7. Owns at least one tie
8. Appreciates a  good home-cooked meal
9. Remembers  birthdays and anniversaries
What  I Want in a Man, Revised List (age  42)
1. Not too ugly
2. Doesn't  drive off until I'm in the car
3. Works steady - splurges on dinner out  occasionally
4. Nods head when I'm talking
5. Usually remembers  punch lines of jokes
6. Is in good enough shape to rearrange the  furniture
7. Wears a shirt that covers his stomach
8. Knows not  to buy champagne with screw-top lids
9. Remembers to put the toilet seat  down
10. Shaves most  weekends
What  I Want in a Man, Revised List (age  52)
1. Keeps hair in nose and ears  trimmed
2. Doesn't belch or  scratch in public
3. Doesn't  borrow money too often
4. Doesn't  nod off to sleep when I'm venting
5. Doesn't re-tell the same joke too many  times
6. Is in good enough shape  to get off the couch on weekends
7. Usually wears matching socks and fresh  underwear
8. Appreciates a good  TV dinner
9. Remembers your name  on occasion
10. Shaves some weekends
What  I Want in a Man, Revised List (age  62)
1. Doesn't scare small children
2. Remembers where bathroom is
3. Doesn't require much money for upkeep
4. Only snores lightly  when asleep
5. Remembers why he's laughing
6. Is in good enough  shape to stand up by himself
7. Usually wears some clothes
8. Likes soft foods
9. Remembers where he left his teeth
10. Remembers that it's the weekend
What I Want in a Man, Revised List (age  72)
1. Breathing.
2. Doesn't miss the toilet.



"All skaters, change directions" means something to you.
This rings a bell: "and my name, is Charlie. They work for me."
You remember when film critics were certain that no movie could ever possibly get better special effects than those in the movie TRON.
You've recently horrified yourself by using any one of the following phrases: "You know, back when...," "When I was your age...," or "When I was younger..."
You remember that music that was labeled "alternative" really was.
Your jaw would ache by the time you finished one of those brick-sized packages of Bazooka!
"Members Only" jackets...say no more.
There was nothing strange about Bert and Ernie living together.
You remember having a rotary phone.
You still wonder if Mikey died from a lethal cocktail of Pop Rocks and Coca Cola.
You remember when your cable TV box had a sliding selector switch and your "cable or VCR remote" was connected to the TV by a CORD!
You actually remember Mr. Bill.
You took family trips BEFORE the invention of the mini-van and remember riding in the back of the station wagon trying to get passing trucks to honk at you.
You remember Bo and Luke Duke, Daisy, Boss Hogg, or, worst of all - what Sheriff Roscoe's full name was. (Coltrain)
You remember "Friday Night Videos" before the days of MTV.
You're starting to believe that having the kids go to school all year wouldn't be such a bad idea after all.
Leg warmers were cool.
You actually remember Benetton.
Schoolhouse Rock played a HUGE part in how you learned things like grammar, math and history. (A big hint here is if the only way you can recite the Preamble to the Constitution is by singing it.)
You learned to swim at about the same time "Jaws" came out... and still carry the emotional scars to prove it.
You ever had a Dorothy Hamill haircut or used Short and Sassy shampoo.
You remember having to get off the couch to change the TV channel.
If male: your first love was Marcia Brady, Jeanie, Samantha from Bewitched, Josie or any one of the Pussycat.
You were unsure if Diet Coke would ever catch on.
You ever asked to be gagged with a spoon.
You remember the days when "safe sex" meant "my parents are going out of town".
Chevy Chase was really funny in those vacation movies.
You know, by heart, the words to Weird Al Yankovic's songs.
It was a major accomplishment to get to the "Chase" scene in Ms. Pacman.
You were not allowed to see The Exorcist, The Omen, or The Blue Lagoon when they came out.
The Brady Bunch Movie brings back warm memories.
You tuned in regularly to the adventures of the Bionic Man and Woman, Wonder Woman, and/or the Incredible Hulk.
You ever owned a set of "Pop-Wheels", that handy little combination of shoe and roller skate that lasted about a year on the open market.
You know who shot J.R.
A predominant color in your childhood photos is "plaid".
You're currently employed doing something that has absolutely nothing to do with your college major.
You remember trying to guess the first episode of the Brady Bunch from the first scene.
Your first musical purchase was an 8-track tape.
In your sophomore class picture, you're wearing a shirt with the collar "up".
Your parents paid $2,000 for a top-loading VCR that was almost the size of a coffee table.
You've ever owned a pair of rainbow suspenders like the ones Mork used to wear.
You recall when Love's Baby Soft was in every girl's Christmas stocking.
You ever wanted to learn to play "Stairway to Heaven" on the guitar and choreographed "Dancing Queen" by yourself in your room.
You know all the words to the double-album set of the "Grease" soundtrack.
You owned a Jordache anything, or you remember when Jordache jeans were cool.
If female: you thought that Shawn Cassidy was "dreamy", lusted after "Ted, your ship's photographer" on the Love Boat or Chachi.
Most of the fillings in your mouth are directly related to Bazooka or Bubble Yum.
You remember when there was only "G", "PG", and "R".