Chris Heston
Dear Friends,
I never quite know how get out of the starting gate on these, you know how it is when you cain’t seem to get in the zone? That’s not very reassuring I know, so I guess iI’ll do what yer supposed do after putting up Christmas decorations: ya check your batteries, throw the breaker and hope the lights will come on, right? Think of it as a little walk all the way around the beach ball just to see the different colors. Speakin of lights, at Casa Chris I put up nowhere near the number of lights compared to last year. I hope Cousin Eddie won’t be too disappointed either but I just don’t have the horsepower I used to have and the docs told me not to go climbing too high up ladders any more. I hates it really. Whenever I think about doing something like that even my dog will look at me with his head cocked slightly akimbo as if to say, aaahhh, no. So, this year it’s out with a lot of the lights and in with some boring fake 7 foot granny tree and one of those blow-up Santas on the front lawn. Perfekt. So. How was your year? One of the highlights of mine was attending a fambly wedding in Ohio. Picture this, I’m boarding a flight with the whole fam damily, I’m thinking we weren’t quite as annoying as Grizwalds goin' to Europe or anything but no doubt some of the passengers on this giant Pringle tube may not have been so enthusiastic seeing myself, K, my daughter and the grandkids and car seats and a stroller and 2 carryons each coming down the aisle on the adult version of Barbie’s Fun Jet. Oh wells. As another aside, If I ever see something like that I’ll try to help out because, well, if you’ve ever been a parent you’ve been there.
People tried to put us down…...
So, lucky duck me that trip also included a visit to Chez Sirnas to meet some of y’all for burger night. Course, to get there on time I had to do 80 on 80 but, hey. A definite reminder- there really is nowhere better in the whole wide world than in a good place with good friends, and I have to admit being a bit jealous of the locals from time to time for that. Coppin’ vibes in there, yo. In all seriousness, it was great seeing so many 69ers and I tried to talk to as many as I could before everybody skedaddled. Coupla other funny things happened while in the Cleve that I never thought woulda, Willie Nelson of all people was inducted into the Rock & Roll Hall of Fame, so was Dolly Parton even though she asked them not to. That alone should be some kind of Vince McMahon meme, huh or was I the only one who noticed.
Just because we get around…….
Now here’s one I just remembered. Years ago my uncle employed a fellow to do sorta handy work around this little spread he had in the valley. Slow leaker he wuz, but he knew how to entertain kids. A time or twice I along with my two cousins would pile into the back of his ratty pickup and he would take us to the feed store or some such, where I suppose he was auditing income tax returns. Sorry. Anywhut, this feller took us down some icky sticky dirt roads, speeding outrageously, fishtailing back and forth, bouncing us up and down and slinging us around pretty hard. The sort of cheek-puckering ride boys love. Turns out we were pretty tough after all. I think my uncle fired the guy quicker'n you can get dry cleaning done, in retrospect I think maybe dad may have had something to do with that too and of course once you have kids you certainly understand why he was run off.
I’m not trying to cause a big sensation…...
OK, so I’m gonna throw out a 2000 year old story written by a feller named John because, well, it’s that season. Maybe you believe it, and then again maybe not. That’s your bidness either way but here goes because I do. Back in the day when he was getting real popular Jesus had quite a few friends and followers. The story goes his friend Lazarus had died and had been in a tomb for four days. Anywhich, he had a group roll away the stone in front of the tomb and then he called his friend by name, saying ‘Lazarus! Lazarus come out!’ It's good darned thing he called him by name, because there’s no telling how many might have come out otherwise. Quite the apparition, nonetheless. Well this is the season, and miracles are no small part of what its about, have a little faith, wait to see how God works out the show cause he knows what his job is better than I do - and walk free.
Guess we didn’t die before we got old…….
Here’s the burning question part. OK, so why are so many of us still around when a lot of our friends aren't? Could it have been because we knew when to say no, when to stop, when too much was too much? Well, I’m not too sure about that, maybe it’s true in y’alls case but I’m not sure about that in my case. Does God flip a coin? Not ascribing malevolent intent, of course, but it sure seems there's a random calculus at work in the universe. Sometimes we are lucky, sometimes not so much. So, is it a lucky gene, or maybe it’s a cain’t kill it hillbilly gene that no matter what you do yer harder to kill off. Yeah, yeah I know it’s borne out to be a question without a great answer. Fortuna spins her wheel of fortune, mayhaps? I’m a danged lucky man right now.
Things they do look awful c-c-cold….
Like err’body else this is prob’ly my favorite time of year, a kewl chance for reflection, introspection and memories of times gone by. Memories? Any Ellenwood kid can tell you exactly where Day’s hill is. As kids during the winter after a good snowfall, we’d climb to the top of that hill, and look for the sweet spot which would get keep you rippin’ and roarin’ down hill fast enough to make it all the way to the creek. How long ago was that? Dwight Eisenhower was President, and they were teaching us how to hide under our desks, that’s how long. Remember those little Christmas rings we did in school? Long paper chains looped around the room, we’d use ‘em to count how many days until Christmas, kinda everychild’s Advent calendar. Don’t think they do that anymore either. Sweet old world when you're getting nostalgic ain’t it? Remember those life insurance policies? They’d give us paperwork the first day of class, and you'd better take it home to dad. I think for $5 a year you were covered at school, for $10 you were covered 24/7. Double indemnity for accidental death baby! Tort reform was a distant issue. Yeah, man the age of vinyl! Long may the memory live.
Just because we get around….
Most Moody kids remember the Chagrin Roller rink, right about then we also sat around one of those little Black & White TV sets to see everyone standing in line to see President Kennedy’s casket lying in state in the Capital Rotunda. We didn’t quite grasp it then but there was an eery sense that things we not ever going to quite be the same. Next thing you know, Viet Nam was cooking and it’s on to the big school. There’s a whole lot I’m skipping in the middle and of course please feel free to fill in the blanks any way you’d like but we sure left good ‘ole BHS with a bang. Or was that a BOOM, Clifford wherever you are. And before the paint even had a chance to dry there was the Rock caper. Yeah, THAT rock caper.
Why don’t you all…..
Remember the 10 year, and if you missed it or don’t want to admit you were there, it’s safe now because, well, statute of limitations. Wadn’t that about the same time the whole Don Henly jailbait thing went down? I digress. I know what you’re thinking - that I’m trying to bury the lede and ya caught me but oh yeah- m-m-my generation baby. OK, so after the main soiree was over (sez the rumor mill) a large contingent allegedly went to some night club in Akron, does anyone remember the name of the place? It’s a widely accepted fact most everywhere the real party doesn’t start until after closing time and I’m not gonna rat anyone out other than to say it finally ended around daybreak. Was that our high water mark who knows but didja ever notice some of the funniest stories tend to involve very questionable uses of judgement? Just sayin.’ Things got a bit more tame after that, I’ll always remember Walton Hills picnics with Mary Ann and Howard cooking and the rest of us? We ate like we just got out of jail.
Don’t try to dig what we all say…...
The story goes..a man goes down to the beach right after a big storm and it must’ve been a real mollywhomper too ‘cause in the aftermath there’s literally millions of these absolutely beautiful starfish that were washed ashore. Well, being sea creatures they’ll all die unless they get back in the water pronto somehow- but how? There’s just sooo many. So this guy starts slinging a few of them back, one at a time. A stranger saw this and said to the man “Why are you doing that, there’s so many and what you’re doing can’t possibly make any difference!" Replies the first man, “Well it makes a difference to this one” as he tossed it in the water. Tie your shoelaces troops! We’ve still got some good miles left to go.
F-fade away….
Dang this thing ended up being longer than Yellowstone. I hope this Christmas season finds you healthy and good spirits, and you get to spend as much time as possible with those you care about. Time passes so quickly, doesn’t it in between the miles and sunsets and honky tonks and golf outings and cigars and YMCA dances and dogs and pans of cornbread and trips down Southgate Blvd and John Mirande sandwiches and leather jackets and Grateful Dead songs. It ain’t like I’m an emotional Jedi or anything, neither do I get into a whole bunch of help-me-I’m-melting drama (even tho trying to stay drama free is hard) but I’ve got what seems like three lifetimes worth of memories that are at least four blocks north of my wildest dreams that I neither earned or deserved but gratefully accepted. I may fracture the King's English. And I’ve got an occasional potty-mouth problem. But oh my we did some good stuff together. I’m really grateful for having quite a few of y’all in my life along the way. What I wouldn’t give for another ride down Day’s Hill. Or in the back of that old pickup. Or better still, Emmett Brown's DeLorean. I’ve had a lot of fun writing these over the years, and its a great honor and a privilege knowing some of y’all were reading it, and I can’t even begin to thank you enough for it. And I hope to see some of youse guise sooner rather than later. To paraphrase George Strait, the last goodbyes are the hardest ones to say: I think this is where the cowboy rides away. For unto us a son is born! Merry Christmas to all, be ready for the miracle, and as always, May God Bless!
-Chris
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