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Bill Butler
So many classmates have marveled at the way things have changed in B-ton in the last 60-years. Don’t those vintage photos prove that this quote, “The more things change, the more they stay the same” (Alphonse Karr, 1808-1890, French), is really a myth. On the other hand, all the great philosophers from Heraclitus (Greek, 535-475 BC) who said, “You can’t step into the same river twice”, to Bob Dylan who said, “The times they are a changing”, support this obvious premise. OK, to prove this, all we need to do is compare the Class of 1962 to today’s average cool HS teenager. (I sure hope this doesn’t turn into a big ugly confusing paradox.)
Look at our class photographs. We had nicely trimmed hair getting it cut (50-cents) every week or two. These teenie-boppers today get $35-trims when it reaches their shoulders. Our $6 jeans were clean; they had a pressed perfectly-orthogonal crease in each leg with perfect 1-inch cuffs. Nowadays, nice new jeans are purposely ripped, mangled, shredded, tortured, cut, burned, twisted, run-over, and dirtied… and never washed; the long cuffs are stepped on for ‘value-added’ so they look cool…. and they’re worth $90?!! Sooner or later one of these modern high-schoolers will start a new trend and wear jeans the way they are suppose to be worn, as in 1962, right? That would be the only reason ol’ Alphonse might be right. Oh no, maybe this is becoming a paradox.
As I remember, back in ’62 we could memorize the value of constant pi to 238-digits. Now, when you mention pi, these kids think you are inviting them to the pizza parlor. Back then we had one landline with a 5-digit number… and maybe an extension ‘cause our brothers or sisters always hogged the main phone. Now….. well, most kids have a $35-per-month cell, and maybe a burner or two for their clandestine activities. And 60-years ago we had real cars that could withstand several accidents before our parents discovered the damage. Now? Hey, don’t get me started!
Given that we are senior citizens (OMG!), we have finally (theoretically) arrived at the age of maximum reasonableness, cunning, and wisdom. It is our duty to set the younger generations straight – it keeps our blood circulating and a reason to complain. As George Chapman (1605) said, “Young people think old people are fools; but old people know young people are”. So, I rest my case. Let’s clap for that one!
BTW, I’m still researching the meaning of ‘absolute truth’ (Murphy’s Laws are more extensive that you ever knew!), trying to divide 1 by 0, looking for the square with the same area as a circle, contemplating the ‘theory of everything’ that integrates all physical laws and constants, and multiplying infinity squared by infinity cubed. One day I may surprise you with my results.
Well, I probably should end on a positive upbeat note. Kurt Godel, a brilliant logician and colleague of Einstein at Princeton, proved in 1949 that time does not exist (Palle Yourgrau, 2005, A World Without Time, Perseus Books, NY, 210 p.), i.e., there are limits to reality. He showed that it is possible to go back in time, and if we can do that, time never really passed in the first place. Ooops…..and if that is true, change cannot occur, …but the best news is that we are not getting any older ….Whoopee! Old age is all in our mind …and Bob Dylan is wrong? And my hair is now white? How can that be?
One last thing. Everything I wrote is false. Wait. Think a second. If that sentence is true, then everything I said is actually really true. But, if that sentence is now true, then it is indeed false as written. OK, but again, how can that be true if it is false? Darn! Without debating this ad nauseam, let’s just say that everything is true, OK? These paradoxes really confuse me. Hope everyone had a great, and safe, Thanksgiving. Stay sharp and focused! Cheers, Bill.
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