Obituary for Benjamin Fenton Tompkins

Benjamin Fenton Tompkins passed away on September 10 after a long, at times successful but never-to-be won battle against Acute Lymphoblastic Leukemia.

Ben was born in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania on October 28, 1960 to Historian Edwin Berkeley Tompkins of Philadelphia and homemaker and later Architectural Historian Sally Kress Tompkins. He was married to the former Melissa Brown (deceased) of Southside, Virginia who was the mother of his two children, Schuyler Kress and Benjamin Fenton Jr. Ben is also survived by his siblings Edwin Berkeley Tompkins Jr. of Annapolis and Alicia Kress Tompkins of Bethesda.

Ben divided his time growing up in Gladwyne, Pennsylvania, Portola Valley, California, Dover, Delaware and McLean, Virginia. He graduated from Langley High School in McLean (1978), the University of Virginia with a degree in Economics in 1982 and University of Virginia Law School in 1986. Upon graduation from law school, he became an associate with Hazel Beckhorn and Hanes, a firm that specialized in all aspects of real estate. Ben remained with the firm through many iterations eventually becoming a partner in the firm which is now Reed Smith. He was recognized by his peers and the publishers of Virginia Business Magazine’s Legal Elite in 2008 as one of Virginia’s best “Real Estate/Land Use Attorneys” in 2008. And he was recognized multiple times by Chambers USA as of one of America’s Leading Lawyers in the area of Real Estate: Zoning/Land Use: Northern Virginia (2008, 2009, 2010, 2014 and 2016). He was a member of the Board of Directors of the Northern Virginia Transportation Alliance from 2010 to 2012. Ben also sat on the board of George Mason University Center for Real Estate Entrepeneurship and enjoyed masterminding his own real estate deals.

The youngest of three children, Ben had an indomitable spirit that defined the way he lived his life. He liked to push himself and those around him. He was stubborn, determined, intensely loyal, and charming.

As the son of a man who took his children out of school to go to the beach and who would leap out of the car at gas stations to do push-ups, Ben developed a love of the outdoors and physical activity. As a child, he hiked the High Sierras in Yosemite and walked down and up the Grand Canyon. He played tennis throughout his life participating in tournaments from the age of 8, lettering on his high school team, getting up early to play indoors at Regency Health club and knocking the ball around any court he could find with family and friends. 

Ben also loved to bike. He and his friends organized the Tour de Dewey, a 120-mile bike trip which started after the Bay Bridge but followed a course that was the mileage from Northern Virginia to Dewey Beach. He biked with his children and friends in the rolling hills of Tuscany, the intense mountains of Ecuador and Ashland Oregon and on trails in and around Northern Virginia and Delaware. 

The activities he most enjoyed were related to the ocean. Early on, he became an avid windsurfer going so far as to visit his sister in the hospital to get money for his first board. Many an hour was spent listening to the weather channel on the radio, or standing at the beach in Dewey, assessing the waves and watching the currents. He also took up surfing and flirted with kite boarding. He and Ted and their friends planned wind surfing trips to Hatteras, featuring annual renewals of friendship and brotherhood while confronting the waves or occasionally sneaking into a hotel hot tub.

He never tired of walking any beach in any weather for miles, discussing the vagaries of life, the slope of the beach or daily events. He loved taking the Boston Whaler out for a spin letting the wind blow in his face and the sun shine down upon him.

But his greatest love and pride in life were his two children, Schuyler and Ben. The three of them formed an impenetrable triad that together weathered the storms and joys of life. They planned epic vacations, figured out how to cook meals together or watched pretty much any sport on television. His love was unstinting but he also challenged them intoning what became a family favorite “toughen toughen toughen” when they complained about rocks hurting their feet on the walk home from the beach. He pushed them to seek and embrace lofty goals in their education and careers. Ben and Schuyler were the center of his life.

And in a fitting end, he spent his last day on the beach at Dewey with his children gazing at his beloved ocean. Dolphins showed up to send him off. 

In lieu of flowers, donations may be made in Ben's memory to St. Johns Episcopal Church, 6715 Georgetown Pike, McLean, Va 22101 or The Sierra Club at
https:www.teamsierra.org/MyCelebration/Team/View/48690/Ben-Tompkins