were waking you up from that bad dream.  Oh,it's only you

said Nikki Pebbles. Can you help us transport Bob over to Doc J. Bramley's office for a "thorough" examination? (sound of a rubber glove snapping into place)

Kathy Readman immediately doubled up with laughter when she saw what was happening and called over......

 the loud speaker,look Bob's off to the funny farm,now maybe we can all

be mature and proper

As Tim laughed, he did notice that Sua was pretty voluptuos and he yelled out "Hey sexy mama"

Sue snarled and pulled out her mace as Tim realized

he was looking at a pair of headlights as Bill Kroth pulled up in his 1936 Ford.  Vicki Bortle (Haslauer) was asking anyone if they wanted to drag race as she sat in her rented Shopping cart taken from

the old Victory Market by John Orcutt in 1969 and held as collateral against a usurius loan at Beneficial Finance which Charlie Osborne had taken out to buy a new ball glove

Back home, I received a letter from Kevin Patricia's lawyers threatening me with a lawsuit for using him in this story without express written permission unless I issued a disclaimer about the hell's angel incident. 

Elsewhere, with the full Monty contest blown off by everyone, Lizard finally decided it was time to change out of his thong and cowboy boots so he borrowed

Sue Weltys halter top and a horse blanket from Ann Loomis and thought now what can I do with these,Oh I know I'll just

donate the thong as a door prize at the reunion and use the cowboy boots for serving punch!  Rob should sell enough chances to the women for that thong to pay for 10 or 15 brunches.

Back at the funny farm I appealed to the Mayor for clemency, and in his infinite wisdom and dedication to truth, justice and the American way, he decided that for a North Sider I was reasonably sane and allowed me to go free in the custody of the Pitpeople, who didn't want the job and passed me off on the Bombers who also didn't want the job and finally passed me off to

Judy Carnevale (Blair) who knows a judge that will give a more harsh sentence than just a slap on the hand. The Mayor was so upset that he had been over ruled that he sent out his hitman squad with homemade

confetti with orders to throw a parade in his honor and cheer him up.

But while the mayor was feeling slightly better, I had to appear before Hanging Judge George Lloyd.  I thought I had an "in" since George was a fellow north sider and Tim had volunteered to represent me, but when George saw Judy he asked me the dreaded question, "Are you now, or have you ever been a Pitman"  "No, your honor," I replied, "I've always been more of an ass and leg man"  Tim nodded and said, "I'll vouch for that George, we were both ogling some butts on the way over here!"  With that, the hanging Judge smiled and declared, "Case dismissed, now let's find Dave Saltzman and check out some booty!"

Elsewhere, Pam Z, Susan S  and Theresa K were walking around showing off their bootys when they saw Bill Kroth.  "Oh my God," said Theresa, "Who does that look like?"  Pam giggled and said, "Oh yeah, I see it, almost a double!"  Sue said--"Who, who, who?"  Theresa replied, "Look owl girl, just picture him in a pair of black boots, with a a hat and a coat!"  Sue looked at Bill for a minute and squealed in her girlish way, "Saints alive I see it now!"  and in unison the ladies cried out, "Santa Claus" 

An unhappy Bill was not impressed-until the ladies asked to sit on his lap and tell him what they want for Xmas.

But an even unhappier Mike Campbell was drowning his sorrows in beer after making his first public appearance as a "Sly" impersonator--when he'd received a request to sing "Billie Jean"  -and what made him even more upset was that the request had come from

another north sider Mr Dick White who was on his way to the vets club for a bacon lettuce and tomato sandwhich. While dick was eating his famed sandwhich Joe Hornby and Rich Lewis appeared and wanted to show dick their new dance,so as they prepared themselves for the bug,Mark Cavanagh staggered in while singing Hey Jude and ordered another 7UP. Not to be out done by the trio Ann Wimett (Wright) was sitting in her favorite chair day dreaming about what it would have been like to have a student such as Larry Carello who must be in line for the Nobel for his famed book.  Ann was jolted awake by shouts of her name,as Marty Kinney (Pinto) was standing on a table in the middle of the room yeling whoa is me,whoa is me,you all think you have problems well I live on Elizabeth Street and that damn Mayor ordered the old Junior High School to be demolished and now all I get to look at is young hot sweaty construction workers how am I

supposed to eat chicken wings on my front proch with all that dust.  Meanwhile Carl Elliot was out of breath after returning from a quick climb up Mt Hope hill with

a bag full of rock specimens that he wanted to analyze to see if central New York was once part of Mars as Boyd Shaffer's new book, "Plan 10 from Outer Boyd" seemed to prove.

Bill Eastman finally showed up and was upset when Sandy Rudolph told him that "Gussies Hussies" were a thing of the past as he headed for Coneheads to mooch a free ice cream off Jeff Behr, where he was in for another surprise while Bill Kroth began writing the song he hoped would keep him in antique cars for life, "Lucille, the red nosed hooker"

Elsewhere Rob Kinsella was in major trouble with his wife who wanted to know how they were going to possibly serve brunch to 248 people-realizing there was only one possible solution-Rob scheduled a 7AM tee off time for Sunday morning and decided to spend saturday night at

The Olcutt Hotel where another North sider appeared eating a tuna salad sandwhich and drinking a root beer. Why it's Harry Stanhope and his tow truck Rob exclaimed why I have not seen you since

you worked at the fish market!  Harry grimaced and thought, "Damn south siders coming and taking rooms at our only fancy north side hotel!"

As Rob surveyed his luxury accomodations he thought, "Alexanders--what the hell was I thnking?"

Bill Kroth then made a fatal mistake-seeing Sue, Theresa and Pam he mistakenly said, "Ho, ho, ho--" but before he could finish with "Merry Christmas" he was maced, pepper sprayed and kicked in the groin--then Theresa and Pam wanted a piece of him too!

Bob Page, just released from the hospital saw Bill being battered senseless and ran to his aid, just as the Mayor and police arrived after getting a report of another northside brawl.

"You again," the Mayor shouted, "Why can't you north side punks stay out of fights?" as he tasered both Bob and Bill

As Tim and I watched the carnage, since our ogling eyes were bootied out, we were surprised to see Lizard coming towards us with

the County Sheriffs as they cuffed the Mayor,what is going on here the Mayor shouted you can't hand cuff me I'm the Mayor he replied as the Sheriff replied next time we need tasers maybe you'll not bad mouth our boss.  As the Sheriff escorted the Mayor away a crowd gathered to see what was happening Rob Kinsella said it's the Mayor they finally

came to give him a breathalizer test to see if he was drunk with power.  The Mayor insisted on taking a

cell phone with him so he could call President Obama, since it was obvious his arrest was just another case of institutionalized racism

The President was curt saying, "Pete, you're a lawyer aren't you?  What do you expect-everybody hates lawyers."

In despair, Pete  finally agreed to buy a keg for the class of 69 if they could get him out of this mess, as he handed the keys to city hall to Joe Dubois, the one person he knew he could trust

Meanwhile, Lizard, Tim and I were putting up GP tents at Rob Kinsellas while Jubilant Joe was yelling, "It's Party Time!"

A ticked off Jim Bramley was at the Oneida Hospital ER waiting to treat Bob Page and Bill Kroth when

Scott Walter walked in with a piece of road kill,he looked at Dr Bramley with tears in his eyes and said look I brought your dinner would you like to

eat Bambi now or later.

Jim loved venison but this was not the time or place as he told Scott, "Take it on over to Rob's and give it to Lizard-he's getting a barbecue pit ready right outside the GP tents"

As Scott made his way to Rob,s he noticed an HP Hood tractor trailer and it was Jimmy Soriano shouting, "I need somebody to sign for this milk, juice and ice cream!"

Lizard told him to charge it to Rob Kinsella as he announced to me and Tim, "Time to start building latrines!"

Jimmy agreed as he began to unload the truck when he had an idea-"Hey-I could take some professional photos of this Woodstock 3 or whatver it is."

Tim rolled his eyes and said, "Jim-this is for our class reunion"

Jim said "What-nobody told

me about this here class reunion thing,they only told me I was a pain in the ass,well bite me Jim exclaimed unload the truck yourself,but Jim that is not my job Lizard tried to explain,but Jim said he could not go any further as he had a pain in his ass. Just as Scott arrived with the road kill and told Jim unload the damn truck and file a grievence.As Jim was filling out his paper work Mary LaLonde (Fay) appeared and said to Jim,hold on bucko I'm an asst. school teacher and I noticed you missed spelled your name with which Jim replied oh crap it must be all those punches I took in junior high school,as Scott was about to leave Rob arrived back home with  more

shovels to get those latrines dug. As the digging started Larry Carello and Joe Dubois were drinking a beer when they discovered Mary Dacey and Mary Olcott (Cross)pushing a wheel barrel marked with initials Pa. on it.  Joe Looked at Larry as they both

shouted over here,over here drink a beer,drink a beer. At that moment the tables were in place the crappers were dug with the paper hanging.  It was clear the setting was set and the fun was to begin. Don't worry Rob we are on our way.  The page has turned for still more stories it has been fun .

                                                                  THE END