Born: May 9, 1945 Date of Death: 2002 Age of Death: 57 years Cause of Death: Complications from Krohn's disease Survived By: Her husband, 4 children, and her extended family.
Like many people of our generation, I did not keep in touch with many of my childhood/teenage friends. I did keep in touch with Judy Costa Frankel. After a heroic battle with colitis and Krohn’s disease for over 30 years, Judy was 57 when she passed away in 2002.
Judy’s love and commitment to her husband, Ben, and their four children – Avram and his wife, Kerith and her husband, Micah, and Miriam — was unfaltering. Her family’s love and care were constant.
Although she was an invalid on and off, her love of learning and doing new things (quilting, for instance) was unstoppable. She founded the first organization for people with the similar health problems.
I met Judy when she moved to Sacramento from Baltimore in 8th grade. By chance she had the desk behind me in homeroom. By chance, we went to the same Sunday school. We became friends immediately.
I learned a lot from Judy and I shared a lot of experiences with her. The first thing I learned was she was Jewish and her family was Sephardic – mine was Ashkenazi. At the age of 12, I had not yet heard that the Ashkenazis were not the only Jewish people and that their Jewish language was Ladino not Yiddish.
In 8th grade she and I cried a lot together when our teacher, Mr. Chorley, told the class about the holocaust during WWII. In those days, like the Japanese, Jewish families did not talk about WWII. I later learned that there have been many horrible holocausts and genocides. I think about the Hagopians and the Alexanders and wonder how their families faired during the Armenian holocaust.
We also had a lot of fun together having ‘coketail’ parties before big dances at my parents’ home, going to parties, walking to Sacramento City College as seniors because both of us were taking a college course, talking about everything we wanted to discuss, to mention a few fun activities.
During Passover sometimes Judy and I ate our matzo sandwiches together on the steps of McClatchy.
Judy was my first friend to marry (I was her maid of honor), to give birth to a child (the first baby I had ever held), to learn to cook (she solved my problem when my stove died and I was expecting company), to have a major illness (she never complained to me and was stoic), to finish college after she had her first child.
We both felt as if time had not passed and that we were as close as ever, whenever we talked on the phone or got together which was not often enough.
Judy, my ‘best friend’ durimg junior high and high school, is still a part of me. When I think of her, I feel sometimes as if she is living in another city and I can call her any time.
"In one sense there is no death. The life of a soul on earth lasts beyond departure. You will always feel that life touching yours, that voice speaking to you, that spirit looking out of other eyes talking to you with familiar things he touched, worked with, loved as familiar friends. He lives on in your life and in the lives of all others that knew him.”
I regret that I did not know her better nor did I know her background information before now. I did not learn about the sephardim and their beautiful traditions until I was much older and your words made me feel as if I missed an opportunity. I remembered Judy foldly as a very kind person, but I had not recalled her with clarity. Thank you for your kind words.
Stephanie Gourse (Buch)
This memorial has been a long time in coming.
Like many people of our generation, I did not keep in touch with many of my childhood/teenage friends. I did keep in touch with Judy Costa Frankel. After a heroic battle with colitis and Krohn’s disease for over 30 years, Judy was 57 when she passed away in 2002.
Judy’s love and commitment to her husband, Ben, and their four children – Avram and his wife, Kerith and her husband, Micah, and Miriam — was unfaltering. Her family’s love and care were constant.
Although she was an invalid on and off, her love of learning and doing new things (quilting, for instance) was unstoppable. She founded the first organization for people with the similar health problems.
I met Judy when she moved to Sacramento from Baltimore in 8th grade. By chance she had the desk behind me in homeroom. By chance, we went to the same Sunday school. We became friends immediately.
I learned a lot from Judy and I shared a lot of experiences with her. The first thing I learned was she was Jewish and her family was Sephardic – mine was Ashkenazi. At the age of 12, I had not yet heard that the Ashkenazis were not the only Jewish people and that their Jewish language was Ladino not Yiddish.
In 8th grade she and I cried a lot together when our teacher, Mr. Chorley, told the class about the holocaust during WWII. In those days, like the Japanese, Jewish families did not talk about WWII. I later learned that there have been many horrible holocausts and genocides. I think about the Hagopians and the Alexanders and wonder how their families faired during the Armenian holocaust.
We also had a lot of fun together having ‘coketail’ parties before big dances at my parents’ home, going to parties, walking to Sacramento City College as seniors because both of us were taking a college course, talking about everything we wanted to discuss, to mention a few fun activities.
During Passover sometimes Judy and I ate our matzo sandwiches together on the steps of McClatchy.
Judy was my first friend to marry (I was her maid of honor), to give birth to a child (the first baby I had ever held), to learn to cook (she solved my problem when my stove died and I was expecting company), to have a major illness (she never complained to me and was stoic), to finish college after she had her first child.
We both felt as if time had not passed and that we were as close as ever, whenever we talked on the phone or got together which was not often enough.
Judy, my ‘best friend’ durimg junior high and high school, is still a part of me. When I think of her, I feel sometimes as if she is living in another city and I can call her any time.
"In one sense there is no death. The life of a soul on earth lasts beyond departure. You will always feel that life touching yours, that voice speaking to you, that spirit looking out of other eyes talking to you with familiar things he touched, worked with, loved as familiar friends. He lives on in your life and in the lives of all others that knew him.”
Robert Bloomberg (MidTerm)
Thanks Stephanie for your beautiful, eloquent memorial for Judy. My fond memories of her were vague at best but your words brought her back to life.
Charlotte Adelman (Paliani)
I regret that I did not know her better nor did I know her background information before now. I did not learn about the sephardim and their beautiful traditions until I was much older and your words made me feel as if I missed an opportunity. I remembered Judy foldly as a very kind person, but I had not recalled her with clarity. Thank you for your kind words.
Diana Doupé (Vicari)
Bob, your words about Judith are exactly how I feel---and thank you, Steffi. Rest in peace, dear Judith.