Senior Moments!

This is a newly created tab requested by none other than Scott Donaldson!  But let's face it, it does make sense.  The idea is that when any of us think of some crazy senior moment that's happened to you or your spouse that you'd like to share, send it to me, and I'll post it here.  Sounds fun?  Ok, lets go!!


** Ok, I'll be first.  This is so embarassing, of course the "In Memory" section of our website is near and dear to me and I've shed quite a few tears putting it together.  I'm not trying to make "light" of it here.... Crazy Marsha discovered one day that of course having well over 70 of our friends on this list, (at the time) someone sent me a new obit of a newly departed Ram... my reply was, well that couldn't be because he's already passed away!  Well come to find out he wasn't YET, but now, that I had received this brand new obituary, he actually was.  I felt so foolish!  Where in the heck I got that original info I'll never know, I'll blame it on Scott Donaldson!  Sorry Scott, it's so fun to pick on you!       submitted by Marsha Draper Fryer

**    I have really enjoyed reading all (I may have missed a few) of our class of '66 profiles. I never knew Karen Elliot at Highland but have read many of her comments and now regret not knowing her, as she sounds like a riot... Anyway when I read her profile... where it said "children" she posted "zero, zip, zilch"... and I thought to myself... "boy those are macho names"... if she'd just added "nada" I'm sure I would have thought she also had a daughter.      Submitted by Dave Robinson

**   Ok, we/ve all probably gone downstairs or into the kitchen and, once there.......totally forgot why we went there. And we undoubtedly have searched in vain for our eyeglasses.....only to discover that we were wearing them. Still, some of us have searched for our lost cell phone while we are, in fact, talking on that very apparatus.......explaining to the person we are talking to, "Dang.......I can't find my cell phone"!!*??# But here's a senior moment I had not too long ago. Being bachelor boy for the past 18 years......I have learned to be pretty domesticated around the house. Sooooo, while watching the Golf Channel, I decided to multi-task: rotate my mattress, do a load of wash, clean the bedroom. After rotating the mattress on my bed, I put on the mattress cover.......then the fitted sheet .......then........oh oh.......I couldn't find the flat sheet. I checked the clothes dryer....Nope! Then I looked again inside the linen closet......Not There! TV room? Nada! Perhaps it fell under the bed? No Way! Well......after searching everywhere imaginable for over 30 minutes, guess what! I had already put it on the bed! Yup.....all neatly tucked in with the hospital corners just like they taught me in the Army. AND I DIDN'T HAVE THE SLIGHTEST REMEMBRANCE OF DOING SO! I used to have perfect recall on people's names! Now I can't even remember making my bed thirty minutes ago! Oh well........I am really looking forward to seeing all my dear friends from Granite High at our upcoming reunion on July 4th at Liberty Park! And before I forget.......I'd really like to thank Marsha Bennion and Scott Draper for all the work they've put in for all of us! Love you all!!! --    Scott Donaldson

**   Scott Donaldson’s admission to a “Senior Moment” has inspired (?) me to share one of my more outrageous senior moments. To appreciate the context of this “memory (or lack thereof)” I need to explain a couple of things.  First, until about a decade ago I cared little for how I appeared to others because I had no control over their reaction.  But everything changed for me when I was allowed to join Society’s Svelte Club because it reversed my attitude 180 degrees, making me very appearance conscious, almost to the point of OCD.  With that mind set in play now I want everything I am wearing to be harmonious.  Our second daughter suggested that my zeal for the “right look” qualified me for the appellation “Metro Sexual”.  To this day I have no idea what is required to be considered metro sexual, but at my age any description of me that includes the word “sexual” I embrace without hesitation.

    So here’s the SM.  It was a typical workday as  I methodically decided what to wear from shoes to chapo.  Unfortunately, I am easily distracted because after choosing the pair of socks to wear my attention was directed elsewhere for less than a minute.  Nevertheless, in that short time one of the two socks I had in hand suddenly disappeared. In other words I LOST one of my socks.  I thought “this is ridiculous” as I began to search assiduously for the lost sock.  It would have been easier to just change my wardrobe, but I had already put on my pants, shirt, belt, etc. and only lacked the “matching” footwear.  Thus began a 30 minute search for the missing sock.  If anyone else had been in the house that day, including our two dogs, I would have accused them of this “prank”.  I finally concluded either I was losing my mind or we had unintentionally invited the presence of a poltergeist (which my religious training forces me to reject).  I am not a person who is prone to verbalizing various expletives, but I was sure ready to think them, and in a moment of weakness I let my frustration vent to the (purportedly) empty house. 

    Resigned to the reality, and angry at the fact, I would have to change my almost completed attire or wear shoes without socks (which I NEVER do), I began the process of selecting an alter-native setof clothes for my day at the office, including a total change of socks.  I removed my shirt and pants and all other accouterments until I reached my feet where MIRACULOUSLY I found the missing sock.  Can you guess?  At no time during my exhaustive 30 minute search did it occur to me to look at my feet, so you can appreciate my reaction when I discovered the missing sock was proudly displayed on my foot where I had placed it thirty minutes earlier!!  What an idiot I had become!  FYI:  it is with great personal sacrifice that I have chosen to admit this to you, my classmates.  I only ask, in all sincerity, that you never share this story with any of my clients, as I have them all bamboozled, as of this writing, and prefer not to display any human frailties to the people who pay my fees.       Richard L. (Rick) Pyper

**  CaroL asked if I remembered someone so in the process of looking through the yearbook, I got to Marilyn Johnson's name and the next name should be Marsha but there was no Marsha. I thought even after 50 years, I would remember that I wasn't in the yearbook so I went to the index and, sure enough, I wasn't there! I have to admit I was kinda bummed. Awhile later while fixing breakfast for our granddaughters so we could get them to school and preschool, it hit me...even though I've been Marsha Johnson forever, I wasn't then! My aha moment forced me to embarrassingly explain to Phil what had happened.    Marsha Ocamb Johnson

**   Okay, Marsha, here's my "senior" moment: A couple of weeks ago I "mailed" all my stamped bills and letters in the Draper Library book drop-off slot. Embarrassing, yes! But even more embarrassing -- it's the second time in six months that I've done that.   Kathy Cracroft Wilhelmsen

**   I’ll admit this, but how many of you will?  Sometimes when I get home and go to my front door, I find myself using the “clicker” on my car key to open my front door.  Duhhh.    Marsha Draper Fryer


**   I can't believe all the women who are posting the year they were born on their profiles.  Many women reach a certain age and they don't want anybody to know IT.   Ray Williams


**   When my mom was in her senior years she was at the Sugarhouse Library where she got that all too familiar, dreaded tickle in her throat. The one that always comes when you are in a public place. She made her way to the information desk, where another older woman was smiling, waiting to be of assistance. Mom politely said that she was looking for the fountain. To her dismay, the woman turned and left her standing there. Many tears and several coughs later, the woman returned and handed my mom the novel "The Fountain". Too timid and kind hearted to make the correction, she simply thanked her in a too high, crackly voice, tears running down her cheeks, and took the book and walked away. I'm certain the librarian thought she had done my mom a great service! We had many a good laugh over that, always asking if the book quenched her thirst for knowledge.    Rick Clayton

**   Okay here's another senior moment that maybe others can identify with.... Do you ever find yourself telling your young grandchildren to... "hurry up and get your thongs on so you can go outside and play..."? If that hasn't happened to you... believe me anybody hearing it, gives you a look ranging from bemused to very concerned.   Dave Robinson

**   My dear sweet mom was not very mechanically minded. Her car needed servicing and my dad suggested she make the appointment. She called the service department and the nice man asked her what kind of car she drove. She hesitated, then said "name a few". He told her he would need more information, to which she replied, "well, it's yellow!".   Rick Clayton

**   Love the Senior Moments. One of my many senior moments one of which was today. I had to take me husband to the Dr. We are heading out, half way down 3200 W and I remember that I had forgotten his list of meds. I had just up-dated them and had them in right where I thought I would remember. I make a U turn in the middle of the street on a red light.(glad there were no police around) I dodged that bullet. Go back home go into the house and get them and head back to the Drs. office. We get to IMC I drop my husband off look for a parking space. I get out of the car head to the building, take the elevator up to the 5th fl. I don't even get out of the elevator. Ding the light goes on, I've left the list in the car. I take the elevator back to the ground floor head to my car. At least what I thought was our car. I click the door opener, the door doesn't open. Grand!! Now what is wrong with the locks? It's not my car. DUH!! So I use the button that honks the horn I finally fine the right car, get the list and lock it. Walk back to the building go to the 5th floor and finally get in with my husband. The Drs. done and my husband is ready to leave. Boy this was give me strength moment. My ducks were not in a row today. They weren't even in the same pond.    Sheri Bowman Bodily

**  This is not a Bennion senior moment, but one of the girls in our class came from a family that was VERY religious. I figure their denomination doesn't matter. The father was gentle but strict. He wore ties every day. A man of few words and a lot of white shirts. He came into any room wearing the slight redolence of moth balls. Thick glasses,.. closely trimmed hair...humorless, with a set of hearing aids as big as khaki thumbs sticking out of his ears. They screamed a lot, at the wrong times. He was an "older father" seemingly in his 50's instead of our parents who were in our 30's or so. Of course, he wouldn't think of swearing in a million years. It went to the point of him even calling helicopters "hee-lah-copters" instead.. Too close for comfort.

As we all remember, any drive from Salt Lake City south to Las Vegas (where he never stopped) or southern California was fraught with the potential horror of NO gas stations for 10's of miles. You had to watch your gauge and think ahead. There was always a khaki-colored, mis-shapened canteen of water hanging from our front bumpers just in case the family car overheated. Very few cars had air-conditioning so all our windows were rolled down, a +100 degree wind would blow all around, trying to dry off our wet ducktails. Her father ALWAYS had an ample amount of gasoline, but it ALWAYS seemed he had to pull over to the side of the road where there were no structures because their car would overheat.

He would get out in that bright furnace and traipse around to the front and open the hood, and begin HIS senior moment. He would fumble with the radiator cap and act like he was pouring the water that was so hot in that swinging canteen into the steaming radiator when he actually was pouring 98.8 degree water out of himself onto the ground that had built up to a very uncomfortable level. What he never understood was that when he lifted the hood, there was a full 2" gap the occupants could see out of all away across the front of the car from any seat in that automobile. He would always face the hood and check to see if there were any vehicles coming by over the next minute, then he'd begin to lose some of his own over-hydration, always facing the engine).  After the deed was done, he shook then carefully pieced back his puzzle before he replaced the radiator cap and closed the hood, returning to complete the long drive. No one ever BEGAN to tell him what was just witnessed.    Scott Bennion

**   Senior Moment: How many of you have picked up your cellphone to change the TV channel? (Come on, you know you have!)    Kim Koller Butler

**   Taken from a birthday card I received not long ago. Outside inscription: "Remember how we used to laugh and roll our eyes at the funny things our parents said or did?" Inside inscription:"What was so #@*! funny?"   Dave Bunker

**  Now that the reunion is passed, I can share this without fear of getting razzed in person. My wife and I have two cars, a Toyota Camry and a Honda CRV.. I got notification in the mail from the DMV that it was time to renew registration for the Camry. So I called and made an appointment at my service center for them to do the safety inspection and emission test. When I arrived for my appointment there were a couple of other customers in line ahead of me. The gentleman at the front of the line was buying tires and was taking some time deciding which ones he wanted. After a few minutes I began to get just a little impatient. While I was waiting, I pulled the DMV notification out from between the pages of the book I had brought to read while I waited. I wanted to be ready when my turn came. While waiting, I glanced down at the DMV card and confirmed that it was for the Camry. Then it hit me - I had driven the CRV to the shop! The Camry was home in my garage! So I nonchalantly slipped out of line, hurried out the door and went home to get the correct vehicle, with no one at the shop knowing my dumb mistake. I was glad then that the other customers were in line ahead of me when I arrived so I could discover my mistake before it became known by everyone in the store.   John Oldham


**  Well......there I was in Costco up here in Washington yesterday, when I decided to browse for a while over near the camera displays! This one display really caught my eye. The camera was unbelievably small. Try as I might, I couldn't even see the lens. I thought to myself, "Wow, the world has really gone high tech! This has to be the smallest camera ever! I wonder how good the quality of the pictures would be. I can't even see the lens!!!!" Then, after looking even more closely.......I discovered that there was no camera there at all. It was just simply the black background of an EMPTY DISPLAY! What a moment of senility! -- Clark Alvey

**  Since I recently mentioned, in a post to Marsha, another senior moment of mine, by my reckoning this is SM#3. As with my other stories, to appreciate the blatant error on my part, you will need some background information. First, there is a large Baptist church in our neighborhood about a mile from away from where we live. Second, about 3 years ago I became the victim on tinnitus in my left ear, another benefit of aging, the consequence of which is I hear a constant buzzing it that ear and must rely solely on my right ear for hearing. This has posed a significant dilemma because everything I hear seems to come from my right side, so I have no “spatial awareness” of where a sound is coming from when a phone rings, etc. Third, I am one of those sui generis individuals among our generation victimized with the malady, attributable to my parents, and known as the “you can’t teach an old dog new tricks” syndrome (this is my story, so I can articulate my situation in any way I choose). This condition in me is characterized by refusal to try new things or to embrace change although this is an inevitability in our society. Consequently, I have never been enamored of this “Digital Age (DA)” and am probably one of the last persons in the Country to allow computers and cell phones to invade my space. In fact, when one of my partners decided that everyone in the firm needed access to a computer I suddenly found the ##*^% machine waiting for me on my desk one particular morning, less than 30 years ago, when I arrived at the office. At that time my DA inadequacy was so severe that in order to turn the PC on I had to ask my perspicacious partner to show me how to do it!! Therefore, it should come as no surprise that I moved from a flip phone to a smart phone within the past two and a half years. My children have berated me so often over my intransigence that they were both shocked and encouraged when I sent them a text message within a few months after becoming the owner of an iphone. SM#3 happened within 3 days after I acquired the iphone. As mentioned in the paragraph above there is a large Baptist church located within a short distance of our house and is the only church closer than 7 miles from our neighborhood. There are a few churches in our outlying community that use pleasant sounding chimes to remind us of their presence, usually ringing on the hour during the daytime. None of these churches, however, have actual bell towers but use sound equipment to replicate, with unusual clarity, the sound of bells ringing from their facilities. I have always enjoyed these hourly reminders, so you can imagine how happy I was when the Church in our neighborhood apparently installed a chime system to alert us to its presence and remind us of the hour. The first time I heard the bells ring in our neighborhood I was on the patio outside our house. Later that morning I mentioned this fact to my wife and one of our daughters, who was visiting us for a few weeks, but they didn’t share my enthusiasm and didn’t seem to even notice this epochal event. When the chimes rang again several times that day and over the next three days I tried to elicit some exuberance from my wife and daughter, but they seemed unimpressed with my discovery. For three days I tried, but failed repeatedly, to get my family to share my enthusiasm for the Church’s new belling ringing sound system, and more often than not, their response was to face me with that “deer in the headlights” look. It was frustrating that no one appreciated these lovely sounds but me. Finally, on the third day it occurred to me that the Church was ringing its bells at intervals unrelated to the hour of the day. While surprising to me that the chimes played at odd times during the day, seldom on the actual hour, I just surmised the new sound system installed at the Church was going through a period of testing and would eventually ring at the beginning of each hour only and not at such indeterminate times during an hour. Then the cause of and the solution for my wife’s and daughter’s indifference finally hit me like a slap across the face. They didn’t hear these wonderful chimes because they were never close enough to me to –are you ready?–hear MY CELL PHONE RINGING. When I first received my iphone I went through the programming process most everyone does that included the choice of a ring tone. Having been steeped in classical music most of my life and even though we live in the Bible Belt, I chose what I felt few others would choose, bell chimes, thus helping me to recognize the times when my phone was ringing. For three solid days the phone in my pocket rang intermittently and, instead of answering it, I felt a gush of warm and fuzzy feelings toward the Baptist Church that was apparently entertaining me EXCLUSIVELY with its new bell chime system. What an idiot I had been, but I have a valid excuse. I blame it all on my lack of spatial hearing because at no time could I discern the location of the sound, even though it was coming from my pocket. However, what neophyte forgets the ring tone he has just programmed in his phone and for THREE DAYS attributes the ringing to a church half a mile away?!!! Ineptly, that would be me. rlp RTR

**  Yes, another senior momento from me, in honor of two men, my own dear dad, probably because Father’s Day is tomorrow, and our own Website Vet, Dr. Clayton!  Now, please, I don’t want to offend anyone, but the outcome of this story was just so unbelievable, it’s a Draperism to this day in our family.

You’d probably guess by the name of my mom & dad’s dog, Bimbo, that they were quite the characters.  They did love their little male poodle-terrier mix mutt.  He had such a fun, playful personality.

After a camping trip one year, dad checked Bimbo for ticks to make sure the little guy didn’t bring any home burrowed into his hide and get sick.  Sure enough, he found one under his front leg and proceeded to work on getting rid of that creepy looking tick.  Poor little Bimbo would just lay there as dad would work on him, he even tried the hot needle trick. 

He finally thought he had got rid of the offensive tick, kept some antiseptic on the area and watched it for a few days.  It didn’t look very good, and dad decided he’d better run him down to the vet to just have him take a look, and maybe get some antibiotic.

The Sugarhouse vet sat Bimbo up on the table, made friends with him, and finally had him lay down so he could take a look.  He raised the dog’s leg up, examined what doctoring my dad had done, and gently announced, “Well, Mr. Draper, I hate to say it, but you’ve pulled this dog’s nipple off!”  My poor dad could have passed out right there and then.  The vet was very polite and before dad left they both were having a pretty good laugh over it… poor Bimbo’s expense!! 

I sure miss my dad.  We have buckets of great stories about him, not all funny.  He was wonderful!  Marsha Draper Fryer

**  Nan Alvey’s Senior Moment - Costco 6/23/16   (Clark Alvey's wife)

After picking up the dogs today, we went to Costco for lunch and shopping.  Costco has been our “go to” destination for years.  Food court, books, clothes, free food (samples), electronics, dried mango’s etc., and whatever Nan is interested in. 

Costco is the Dogs favorite destination too.  They love their hotdogs and look forward to fine dining every time they go with us to Costco.  The down side is we can’t take them inside Costco, so they stay in the car howling (and slobbering) with anticipation.   I’ve had people waiting at my car, when I return, wanting to confront me because they think the dogs are somehow / someway being mistreated because of their howling.

I eat faster than Nan. I’m not sure why, but it might have something to do with the way I inhale my food, while she counts chewing motions for each bite she takes.  The bottom line is…I finish first, go to the car, feed the dogs their hotdogs, and wait for her. 

(I’m getting to the ”Senior Moment” but you need background information.  My current SUV is a Burgundy Toyota 4Runner. Ten years ago I owned a Green Ford Explorer)

Nan finishes eating, gets up, and starts walking out to the parking lot.  She notices a Red Ford Explorer waiting at the curb, with motor running, and comes to the conclusion that it’s me waiting for her.  She walks over to the Explorer, opens the door and gets in (I guess the driver was too surprised, or in shock, to ask her what she was doing).  Nan, looking straight ahead and waiting for the car to start moving says: “…what are you waiting for, let’s go”. 

The Driver, at this point, has gathered his wits, and asks her, “Who she thinks she is, what she thinks she’s doing in his car, and to please get out of the car”. 

She gets back to our car, tells me the story and I say, “How could you think that was me?”  She comes back with…”Well, you used to have an Explorer”.  I reply, “Yeah, but that was over 10 years ago and it wasn’t Red!!”.  You know how this ends, if you've been married over 20 years.   Clark Alvey  

**  This is for the Senior Moments! We used to have dances in our homes with friends and their dates. We danced to Johnny Mathis a lot. On one dance in my basement we were all dancing and the lights were low and my dad threw down the stairs a cherry bomb firecracker. Now keep in mind that my basement was not finished and the explosion echoed terribly thru the basement and scared all to death. It was so traumatic that we had to take our dates home. As I remember some of those who used to come were Jeff Jones, Ed Midgley, Craig Nelson, Kris Jensen, Toni Taylor and others. Those were fun times.  Sam Murphy

**  Speaking of pre-dementia, how about the day I went out to the parking lot and started to climb into my red Suburban but just then a man opened the door and climbed out. "Oops!" I said. "Wrong car."  He wasn't too amused. Three cars down was another red Suburban.  I went right up to it to get in but my key wouldn't work. Dang!  Then I noticed two cars down from that was a silver Honda, my husband's silver Honda that I was driving that day. Jeez!  I hope I wasn't on a surveillance camera!  Lori Duncan Boyer


**  It's been awhile since I've posted a "senior moment".....not that I haven't had one or two or seven......but I've decided to share 3 recent ones with you Rams.  Hopefully, when you read these, your life will seem wonderful and happy by comparison!  Here goes: (1)  I was at a buddy's house the other day, waiting for him to get back from the store.  His wife had me sit down in the living room, while she informed me of her involvement with family history and genealogy.  So, I asked her, "Miriam, what was your maiden name?"  When she told me, I responded, "Manure??? Wow....that's a unique name!"  Then she barked at me, "IT'S MONROE!"   Oops! Better get my hearing checked!

(2)  I went up to the "U" to play tennis indoors, when I walked on to the court, carrying my tennis bag and wearing sweats, I put my bag down and removed my sweat pants.  Oh Oh......I had forgot to put on my tennis shorts!!!!!  Nice one, Donaldson!  And there were two women playing on the court next to ours!!!

(3) This morning, at the gym where I work out, I spotted this younger woman working out on the elliptical.  I thought it was a gal who lives in my neighborhood, so.....from behind her, I flipped her with my towel.  Oops!  Double Oops!  She wasn't who I thought she was and gave me this look as if to say, "What in the world is your problem old man?????"   For one of the few times in my life, I didn't have a comeback!!!

Happy holidays to all you terrific classmates!  I hope your minds are functioning much better than mine!💗 ***  Scott Donaldson


I have three more senior moments to share with you, my classmates, despite Clark Alvey’s advice that I limit my exposure of such inadequacies to my closest friends from the Class of ‘66. Unfortunately, having left THE VALLEY in 1974 for law school and then having settled in the Great State of Alabama since 1978, my access to Classmates has been limited; and Rich Thomas would only get more bored at my incessant self-flagellation if I just keep him exclusively in the loop. Therefore, I share these events with all my OLD (it’s a chronology thing) Classmates, irrespective of the consequences it may invoke for me.  
SM#4 (not to be confused with “sado masochism”– thus the italics).  As mentioned in one of my earlier narratives, I was tasked from 2005-2014 with the assignment of Early Morning LDS Seminary Teacher (“EMST”) for the high school students in our LDS Congregation.  During this period it was inevitable that maintenance of my mental and physical acuities over the 9½ year duration would present an unavoidable challenge, especially when reminded intermittently of the importance of the assignment by the Church’s General Hierarchy and during monthly training meetings conducted by our Regional Director.  High expectations were the norm regarding personal conduct, as manifested in the requirement to maintain proper appearance and decorum during the daily 50 minute classroom setting.  

Unfortunately, my life experiences did not always conform to ideas of propriety and decorum because my secular side was susceptible to an aberrant sense of humor and concomitant mild, nonconformist behavior.  Consequently, my greatest fears were threefold: i) falling down in front of the class; ii) invoking a word or phrase inappropriate--in the extreme--to the purpose and nature of the class, a situation more likely than not to arise if such words or phrases were commonplace in my “outside church” environment (FYI: I have Carolyn Glo to thank for teaching me the value of using the word “foot”–which when evoked never failed to get a jocular reaction from the class – as a substitute for various vulgar words, including that ever present word starting with the same consonant);  and iii) that most fearsome problem--attendant with all diminished-capacity, aging males--the “uncooperative fly (zipper to the gentler gender) syndrome” (“UFS”).
As fate would have it, I became the object of a UFS at the start of my 8 year as EMST.  Like th all age relevant classes of study, each year the makeup of our Seminary class changed with the graduation of older members and the inclusion of new younger members.  In this particular year we had four new additions, two male and two female 9 graders.  The boys were typical of their age – th jovial, not-ready-for-daily, serious doctrinal discussions–while the girls were polar opposites.  The pressure to perform at a high, spiritual level was enhanced by the fact the girls were members of two highly visible, “prim and proper”, influential families in our ward, so making a first impression was essential. 
You can imagine my chagrin, therefore, when the 9 grade boys approached the front of the th class 15 minutes into my presentation on the first day to inform me that I was the victim of UFS. What made matters worse was my teaching style which inevitably placed me in front of the class with my legs projected forward while leaning on a table located behind me, thus making the potential UFS even more obvious and embarrassingly apparent. 
Thankfully, while the likelihood that “Mr. Happy” possessed the independent ability to do
something unprovoked at my age has diminished, the potential for some demise to my well constructed reputation was predictable.  I can only say, thanks to the over protective nature of LDS undergarments, I think I escaped the worst of the negative possibilities emanating from a UFS, or so my faithful 9 grade boys assured me.  Nevertheless, I am still haunted by the possibility that my th social and eccliastical standing could have been materially tarnished, once “the cat was out of the bag”(no pun intended).  Had that occurred, there was nothing I could ever have done afterwards to repristinate (note to D Robinson: I have been trying for years to find the right situation to use this wonderful word) my reputation. The adverse consequence of this “event” is the fact I am a far less eager classroom instructor these days since the intrusion of that UFS moment – which I must reluctantly admit cannot be referred to thereafter as “an isolated incident”.  As my paranoia increases day by day I have the habit of discretely “checking” myself several times each day for any possible UFS even when I am not in the throes of the public eye.
SM#5 Some days the humidity and temperature in Alabama become so uncomfortable that it’s hard to stay cool even indoors. To address this problem during the Summer months I usually keep several “spare shirts” at the office to replace the one I started with when circumstances warrant a fresh exchange.  On one of those high humidity,  “sticky” days recently, I hurriedly replaced my original shirt before leaving the office and heading home.  Since I frequently drive by a Neighborhood WalMart Store on the way home, I decided on this particular day to stop at the store for some minor grocery items.  While at WalMart I noticed various employees and customers giving me quizzical looks and manifesting other unusual reactions toward  me.  Since this was WalMart, and we’ve all seen some of the bizarre and extreme outfits WalMart customers are found wearing, I ignored the feeling and continued to maintain my decorum, as expected of one, like myself, accoutered in appropriate, even over-dressed attire for WalMart.  Everything changed, however, when I got home and discovered that I had been wearing my shirt inside out the whole time with the label exposed, and the buttons on the wrong side, etc., etc.  I now live with this gnawing fear that I may have  been captured on film and will someday be added to the collection of grotesquely, abhorrently and unfashionably dressed WalMart customers that one can find readily on the internet.
SM#6 Are you interested in receiving a copy of Raymond Feist’s Dark War Saga, Book Two, or Conclave of Shadows,  Book 3?  How about a copy of Disney’s animated version of  “Jungle Book” or “Cars” or a cd of Dave Brubeck’s “Time Out” or one of Sir Malcolm Arnold’s nine symphonies as well as a myriad of other cds by classical composers or performers?  I have numerous available copies due to the fact I forget what books/cds/dvds I already possess, so while shopping for “good deals” I frequently buy them again.  It is a standing joke among my family that come Christmas time I will bring out a box of duplicate books/cds/dvds for the taking because I have impetuously bought another copy, forgetting I already own/listened to/read it. Some of this malady is the result of simply possessing too many books/cds/dvds, but the inevitable decline in mental sharpness with the progression of time also plays its role. Consider this: can you remember where you ate lunch 5 days ago and what you ate; or what episode of Seinfeld you last watched on TV; or the score of the penultimate football game between Utah & BYU; or the birth date of your youngest grandchild? I am guessing you won’t immediately have an answer and will “have to think about that”.  Old Age is that wonderful gift of Nature that allows us to BELIEVE we haven’t changed
much over the years (except maybe in appearance) while we inevitably and inexorably keep declining (except if your name is Dean Collette or Marsha Draper Fryer or Laurel Parker Rohlfing). Sigh!!!  To borrow an expression from that font of empathy, William Jefferson Clinton, I end with this:  “I feel your pain!”   ***   Richard L. (Rick) Pyper

**  Marsha,  You said in one of your moments you tried to open your door to your house with your remote for the car. I have done that twice within a week span.  Then, today I went to one of my nephew’s house and when I left, I tried to lock it with my house key.   ***   Bill Arnott

**  Just thought I would share a senior moment. This morning I was making scrambled egg burritos for breakfast. I was getting ready to put slices of tomato and avocado on the plates. I looked around and couldn't find the plates. I looked at the table no plates, looked at the counters no plates. I'm feeling a bit stupid. Then the phone rang I pick up what I was thinking was the phone. Kept saying hello no response. Then sat it down only to realize it was the can opener. And the burritos were in the microwave. I'm either stupid or crazy or both. There we have it.  *** Sheri Bowman Bodily

**  A new one....I didn't park my car in the garage this morning because I was putting Valentine stuff away. I needed to run to the store to pick up cupcakes and take them to school for my granddaughter's birthday treat so I pushed the button to start my car for a few minutes to warm up and grabbed my purse and went out the front door and my car wasn't there and I thought oh my gosh I started the car in the garage and now I'm going to have to air out the garage before I go so I opened the garage door and of course my car wasn't in the garage because Phil had to take the car to work because his truck was getting fixed...I wasn't going to tell anyone but I was laughing so hard I had to tell Phil when he called. The first thing he said was that I had to put it on the HHS Senior Moments.  *** Marsha Ocamb Johnson