In Memory, Eugene Gold, December 18, 1921 – August 24, 2013

The Legacy that was Gene Gold lives on and delights everyone that ever knew him.  I am his stepdaughter, Madhuri Marelli, writing this for myself and for whoever is reading, to shed some light on some of Gene’s other sides when not in the classroom.

Like most of Gene’s students, I met him when I was 16, 1965.  He came home to date my mother, Renee, a widow of 6 years at that time.  I’ll never forget that day.  I was in my red velvet bathrobe, long hair bound up in orange juice cans to straighten it and with classic teenage attitude of who is this unusual looking guy? In walked Gene with a spring in his step, a booming laugh & magnetic aura,  a tall, bohemian, Santa Claus character, wearing a Madras shirt, khaki pants, straw hat (not the beret), same characteristic goatee beard I think, or maybe he was clean shaven.  Sorry for the run-on sentence, Gene.

True to form, he had spontaneously called Renee to ask her to brunch; it was their first official date.  They met in the Catskills at some fun (it actually was) Singles’ place not very long before, maybe a week.  There was a saucy connection from what I heard, while up in the mountains.  Gene had gone up to play golf with his buddy, and no doubt flirt with the women.  My Mom  was there for R & R and to meet “someone” I suppose.  Renee was quite attractive, had her own flare and a way of surprising men with her whims and changes. J  Here now, was Gene at our home in East Meadow, and I was glad for someone to come in and buffer our emotional lives.  I’m sure you can relate.

They were night and day, different as could be, but they enjoyed eating, traveling, conversation, and laughing after all.   My mother was quite intelligent and appreciated Gene’s wit, intellectual snobbery at times, and learning from him.  They married on Thanksgiving the following year, 1966.  Without going into detail, my mother and I had challenges, and Gene actually became that excellent buffer.  I always appreciated that about him.  He would listen, never judge, and being an ally to me, there was tension among the 3 of us.  His laughing and care free style put things at ease quickly it though it seemed.  Summer of 1967 I was off to university out of town, Indiana University to be exact,  leaving behind a cigar and cigarette smokey house, cat and clothes, crazy parents and off to my next adventures.

Earlier, I remember meeting Nanny & Poppa Joe, Gene’s parents who lived in “The Projects” in “The Bronx”.  They were as nice as could be.  Nanny endlessly fed everyone, and Poppa Joe waxed philosophical in his own quiet way, cigar in lips.  Gene inherited his joyousness from his mother, and intellect from dad.  There was a story of Gene’s young appetite, circa 16 or 17.  Apparently, his mother made him 18 sandwiches to take to some baseball game, and he ate them all!  Wonder bread and hardly anything else I would imagine.  His one sibling, Anita, 3 years younger, had the same jovial demeanor but more quietly.  I don’t remember anyone being louder than Gene!

Gene signed up for WWII, or he was drafted.  I’m not sure.  However he didn’t actually end up serving our country directly.  He served officers rather nicely challenging them in chess, and trained as a weather man, he was sent up to the Aleutian Islands to predict weather and keep challenging his officers in chess!  Legend has it, Gene was quite the exaggerator although his stories were mostly true, that he developed a fever of unknown origin while up there.  He was in and out of hospitals 6 months or more.  He described that every medical test known to man was done on him.  All parts of him were poked and prodded.  He enjoyed the attention and care of all the nurses, and apparently, gained lots of weight from all the great food.  He actually had a very important role as the weatherman, and survived 4 years practically in perpetual winter.  I guess several men went insane there as he told it.

From there it was on to NYU to get his degrees in English and Teaching, and the rest is up to date.  He did marry while in school, Hilde, had son, Brett whom Gene raised himself from Brett’s age 2 – 13 or 14; spoiled him rotten.  Brett went on to live with his mother in Los Angeles eventually. There are many stories about Gene’s associations with the Bohemians of NYC at that time, one the notable Jack Kerouac.  He wouldn’t mind me telling you about his forays to Cape Cod and how on one occasion anyway, he became Moses under the influence of a certain hallucinogenic agent.  Then there was the evening in 1968 I believe, at home, where he, my Mom, myself and Brett actually got stoned together.  He would try anything, and my Mom was pretty good about that too.  I think her adventurous spirit was what really brought and kept them together.  Memories…..

Gene was always sharing about his love of teaching and the love he had for all his students.  I wished I had had an English teacher like him in high school.  He was the least materialistic person I knew, and was always generous with what he had.  He took on co-parenting me without any question or qualm.  He contributed greatly to my education in many ways including financially.  Gene was very disappointed when after moving to Arizona at age 60, he was not able to obtain any teaching jobs there.  He hadn’t really planned on retiring and I know that was a big disappointment for him.  He didn’t even find any tutoring jobs as far as I know.  Still, he brought his good will, poetry and mirth to whatever group of people he was with, in whatever work.  He was famous at the golf course for booming over the loud speaker, “so and so, party of four, you can wend your way over to the first tee.”

I lived in Phoenix, AZ for 8 years, 1994-2002 and got to know Gene and my Mom better as adults, as an adult myself.  Finally we all grew up!  They took a lot of trips / vacations during that time.  Gene loved going to casinos.  There was one in N. AZ, I believe it was on Lake Havasu, and of course Las Vegas was on the docket at least once / year.  He loved writing notes and cards to people.  To be the recipient of his unique writing style with multi-syllabic words was indeed a joy.  We, all in the family, regretted that Gene never did more writing.  He said later on in years it was because he didn’t have the “space” to do it.  One of his few human traits was procrastination.  He was also quite sedentary & a bit lazy so he had no one to blame really other than himself.  However, creativity cannot be forced, and for him it was true that there was probably no emotional space to create in that way.

Renee had a major stroke in December 1999, near Gene’s birthday.  She was unconscious for 5 days and when she came to, had lost her speech and most of her ability to walk.  It was a very sad and hard time for all of us.  My circumstances enabled me to purchase a care home shortly before her stroke, details omitted here, and she was our first resident!  Gene was a completely loyal and doting husband those 2 ½ years of Renee’s incapacitation and illness.  He spent at least 3 – 4 hours every morning with her, went home and came back to share dinner for another 3 hours until she went to bed.  I always loved that about him.  We spent Gene’s 80^th birthday at a restaurant with about 12 people, many of whom were friends for decades from NY.  It was our last time all together in a festive mode.

In October 2002, I moved everyone to Vista, CA to a large home where I could manage watching over all of us, 5 adults and 3 companion animals.  The other adults were an elderly friend I was caregiving, and a partner of mine who was my mother’s primary caregiver in Az.  She only lived 4 months.  Gene stayed another 6 months, then moved back to Az.  His time there for a few years was spent getting into “situations” with younger, crazy women, reminiscent of his NYC bohemian days, reading, watching all sports on TV, drinking coffee, eating bagels, just plain eating and going to casinos.  In 2007?, he moved to Del Rey Beach, FL to be near his sister.  His health began declining and he was falling a lot.  He ultimately needed a pacemaker and had major arterial blockage.  At age 89 there was a cardiologist who appreciated Gene’s zest for life, and agreed to do a 3 artery repair to extend his life.  The doctor was well in his 70’s and was unique himself.  Ordinarily, a patient Gene’s age would not have been given this chance to live.  They don’t do these procedures on the elderly.  Just not cost effective, but that’s another post.

I was in FL during the time of his surgery, and over the next 3 years followed him as he became less mobile, visiting when I could.  It became apparent beginning of 2013 that I had to move Gene to be with me.  He by then, had too many medical conditions and could not take care of himself.  Before we left for CA, Gene had one last trip to Hard Rock Casino, Hollywood, FL.  For a man who could barely walk, he took that walker and literally ran, practically flying across the casino, moving faster than I could keep up.  At the poker machines, his mind and fingers were going at lightning speed.  He was a trip, over and over during my life.  Always a surprise, always entertaining.

Gene lived with me from April 1^st until his passing, August 24^th.  He gave the hospice nurses a hard time and a good time, argued with me, went to casinos close to his demise, was fighting to stay alive, laughed a lot too, and went peacefully at the end.  He made a good friend in the hospice chaplain, a Native American Cherokee, who waxed philosophic with him, and anyone that came over loved to visit with him.  I think if he had believed more in afterlife, it would have helped him throughout the final stage.  Gene did ok though, and I was so pleased that we had the best and most kind hospice nurse with us, Brandon, at Gene’s side for his last breaths.

Your very own, Mike Vacchio, was tremendous in calling, visiting, driving long distances on his motorcycle and taking Gene out for special moments the last few months and also in other years; in all, keeping his spirits up and giving me a breather.  We will always be grateful to Mike for this, and for all who stayed in contact with Gene, he loved it more than my words can express.  I was very impressed to learn of so many Newfield students who did extremely well in their adult lives, and credited Gene with playing a huge role in their growth and education.  I thank Diane Schulman for her lovely letters, photos and emails, and forgive me that I don’t remember others specific names.  You are all indelible in our hearts and some part of our minds.  Thank you for loving and always acknowledging your beloved teacher and friend, Eugene Gold.