OK folks...here's the skinny on golf.  We have 5 tee times at Two Rivers on Saturday starting at 9:04, then 9:12, 9:20, 9:28 and 9:36.  18 hole with cart green fees is $35.  Beer on the course is $12 a six pack or $2.25 per beer.

To the people on the list below...I will need a $35 check from you by July 14th to pay for your greens fees.  I am already fronting the reunion costs and don't need another $500 on my tab and then one or more people don't show up and I lose that money.  If you don't pay me by the 14th then unfortunately you won't be playing.

Also, I am thinking about a random draw for foursomes as right now we have 16 people playing and then I think Amy Finken Swinehart's husband and Nancy Fergen Olberding's husband want to play so maybe we can get them in the 5th tee time.  Random draw for pairings makes it equal for everyone and I'm sure some of you will be upset that you don't get to play with so and so but you'll be spending the entire evening with all of us.

So....random draw or something else?

Burnett, Michael
Campbell (Campbell), Rebecca
Dieger, Ritch
Fergen (Olberding), Nancy
Finken (Swinehart), Amy
Francis, Lawrence
Jones, Lee
Mahaney, Douglas
Mogren, John
Niles, Richard
Olson, Steven
Palmersheim, David
Puetz, John
Skinner, Douglas
Stabile, Jerome
Tritz, Jim

Jim;

Mailing you the check today.  As far as pairings go, I concede to the vote of the majority. If you pair us by handicap you will have the Puetz/Stabille dynamic duo bringing up the rear - as usual. 

Lee

John or Jerry?

I'm down with whatever the majority wants to do. Lee, what is up with the bringing up the rear comment? I put people in Jail, I'm not in Jail!!!

Man - you just HAD to go there.......  Figured it would be Puetz!

I'm telling you I don't go there!!

I think I just saw that Jerry signed himself up for the pedicures and mimosas.  Not a big surprise there...trying to duck out on golf or any competition.  Maybe we can get his wife to play for him?

Lee, whether we play together or not, there will be some wager on the round.  

I thought a good pedicure would help my short game!! Less drag with my swing, you know whatever it takes to cut a stroke or two.

John;

Only if you promise not to play from the red tees.  Beer a hole and have Tritz rig the draw so I can keep you honest through the round.

Lee

Jim,

I'll be the prick on this one.  I would vote against the blind draw for pairing up golfers.  Let people set their own foursomes and email them to you.  I think there are quite a few people who have already communicated with others about playing together.  If people don't care who they're playing with, you can pair them up.  If Stabile doesn't like his pairing, he can go to the salon and get his nails done.  Once you've confirmed the foursomes/pairings, you can post them on the website, and let the smack talk (and betting) really start.

Jim,

I agree w Puetz, mainly because there are classmates who have traveled back to maybe spend a day on the course w someone they havent seen in 25 years and this may be their only chance to kick their butt on the course in this lifetime! Besides Olie is all fired up to share my Copenhagen!:)  Our foursome : Olson, L Jones, Mahaney, Dieger. I also know for certain that Joynt and Francis want to team up. I know Joynt needs to be added to the list. Still waiting to hear if O'Dea wants to golf.

For those that dont voice a desire to set up their team then they can be set up randomly.

Put me with Skinner, Niles and Tritz.

Joynt and O'Dea better fill out the Golf Survey if they intend on golfing cuz I'm basing everything on that....sorry, word of mouth doesn't work on this one.  Remember that we only have 5 tee times so that's 20 people of which we are at 16 right now without those 2 and I'm not sure if Fergen and Finken's husbands are actually playing yet.

I'll play with anyone, and will send check today James.

late arrival to the discussion, I like the foursome Jerry came up with, Tritz, you still owe me $5 from high school on some gas money, 25 years of interest, I'm sure that is $35.

Rick,

I hope you have not been playing a lot. I have not been out yet this year. You know how proud resort towns are about their golf courses. Poor guy like me can't even get on as a caddy.

Send your $35 checks to me at 

601 Broadmoor St.
Sioux City, Ia 51103

I'm good with random draw.  And I'm sure my husband won't care either way... just wants to golf.  Nancy O

Jim, I filled out the survey and will get a check off to you!  Thanks for handling all of this planning, I know we all appreciate it very much!  I was planning on golfing with O'dea, Dieger, Mahaney and Francis.  What ever works!

OK, this is what I have come up with and I think it works for everyone involved.

9:04 - Niles, Puetz, Stabile, Skinner

9:12 - S. Olson, Jones, Mahaney, Dieger

9:20 - Olberding and husband, Swinehart and husband

9:28 - Francis, Joynt, Burnett, (O'Dea if he responds and sends money)

9:36 - Campbell, Mogren, Tritz, Palmersheim

So let it be written....so let it be done!

Golf survey completed and my check will be in the mail tomorrow morning.

Thanks, Jim for setting this up.  Everyone owes you a beer!!!

- Terry

OK, that's it folks!  We have our tee times filled with 20  golfers.  I will be removing the golf survey from the links on the left.

Looks good to me.  I will break the news to Bill that he is golfing.  Nancy, please bring extra clubs for Bill and I.

Random pairings is fine - by the way - member - so should be no fee

That was easy.....  Now how about sponsorship for closest to the pin and longest drive......  Just kidding Jim, pretty sure you would win them both.  

Lee 

Jim,

Check's in the mail!  Thanks for your efforts on our behalf.   

Now everybody needs to get Tritz their USGA certified handicaps for 18 holes so he can set up a match.  I know he was thinking something like:  best 1 ball out of 4 for the first 6 holes, 2 best balls for the next 6 holes and 3 best balls for the final 6 holes (I know this probably sets me up for a smart ass comment from Bruce R., but what the hell).  Plus, he'll probably want to do a skins match and maybe we can all play snake too!

The last time I talked to him, he said he was bored this summer with nothing to do, so don't think he's going out of his way to put this betting together.

Jim,

  Since us so broke I'm sending money for both golf and the reunion. So make sure to mark me down as paid so you don't double dip me you sum bitch!

Larry

I have no idea what John is talking about in regards to best balls and snakes (seriously), but the only handicap I have ever figured I had were the troublemakers I ran with in high school.  Tritz can give me a stroke a hole and I'll take my chances.  Puetz I will play straight up or match play.  Olson will carry our foursome anyway.......

Lee

Come on Lee,  don't lay down  for Olie.  I will have you know that Two Rivers is a right handed course.

Tourney Wager Suggestion:

Keeping it simple: EACH PLAYER SUBMITS $10 TO POT

-6 Highest handicapped holes-- use best score out of four players AND EVERYONE EXCEPT 10 OR LESS HANDICAPPERS GET ONE STROKE

-NEXT SIX HANDICAPPED HOLES--USE TWO BEST SCORES AND EVERYONE EXCEPT 10 OR LESS HANDICAPPERS GETS ONE STROKE

-LAST SIX HOLES- USE THREE BEST SCORES AND EVERYONE EXCEPT 10 OR LESS HANDICAPPERS GETS ONE STROKE EXCEPT FOR THE PAR THREES.

WINNING TEAM TAKES POT: 5 TEAMS X $40= $200  

Now from all the talking, I am guessing that everyone gets a stroke on all holes excluding par 3's except Tritz(everyone saw his Youtube video)/Olson(golf team and admitted hole in one/Skinner(heard he was easily a 5 hcp/Niles(natural talent and jumping not required on golf course)/Burnett(his home course)/Fergens(cause they have old clubs they wore out  for Amy's group) Mogren(he just seems a little too confident since he feels he can win with the ladies on his team)

I am guessing I nailed it pretty good!

Let me know if I missed a ringer in the group.

Did someone mention a ringer?

I was thinking this option.  Everyone who wants to puts $5 in for skins (no carryovers, just if one person outright wins a hole then they win a skin).  The second game would be a $5 per person team game for the entire 18 where winning team takes all playing 2 ball (this means you take  the two lowest scores on the hole for your foursome....let's say it's a par 5 hole and your two lowest scores are 4 and 5 then your total would be 1 under for the hole - par 5 x 2=10 for par...4+5=9 for score)
This way everyone always has a chance to win a skin, even a blind squirrel finds an acorn once in a while and Doug Mahaney might actually birdie a hole, who knows?  Plus, the $100 for the team game goes back to the team with the winning score, so $25 a piece back to each  player.

You guys need to quit talking me up though...I'm not really that good of a player.  I just get out more often than most everyone else does.

Jim, sounds intriguing, just need to have at least one mathmatician on each team! As for Mahaney scoring a birdie, I just golfed w him a few weeks ago and he is about 15 rounds away from shaking enough rust off to make that happen! Sorry, Doug. I admit with one round under my belt, no birdies for me yet this year.

I d be willing to do this provided we use my handicap system. Have to at least level things out a bit!

WTF, I have a MBA in Finance, and I can't figure out the proposed bet.  How about this for a handicap system:

+1 stroke for every beer drank on course on Saturday (our foursome will be the runaway winners here)

+1 stroke for every legitimate kid you have (Niles and I have 4 each and I think Stabile has 3).  Sorry, Lee, I said legit kids.

+.01 stroke for every mile traveled to reunion (Stabile and I are traveling 700 miles each)

-.025 stroke for every round played this year (penalizes those without real jobs like Jones and Tritz)

Seriously, KISS (keep it simple).  $5 for skins (handicapped) and $5 for team game as Tritz described.

Ritch;

Here's a game plan, we go best ball for our foursome.  We use my drives, your approaches, Steve's putting and Doug for comic relief..... 

Lee

Thanks Lee for recognizing my valuable position at the 4th spot.  I like the skins game(top 2 scores).  Just a warning to the group playing ahead of us,  I don't want to be waiting on you(Puetz) watering every tree on the course while I'm in the zone.  Besides I have a pedicure appointment that I must attend.

We should get serious here and play for foreskins, per hole!! Wait a minute, that won't work, I like Tritz's idea. I am playing my first round this afternoon. I will update everyone on how bad my game has become. Tritz,  why are the squirrels going blind out at Two Rivers? Is it something in the water, fertilizer, or something else?

Hey, can anybody provide any intel on Jerrys game. Anytime I have ever heard anyone question their own game  there is usually sandbagging involved! Tritz, do we need to add Jerry to the "ringer" list?

I vote for Tritzs gameplan w/ handicaps now that we have a qualified financial wizard to oversee that the scoring is legit!

Lee,Olie,Doug, we need to set something up for our 4-some. Maybe just do a handicap skins game. Have to do carryovers though otherwise leave to many skins on the table. And pressing is allowed for those that are behind.

Trust me, you do not need to add Jerry to the "ringer" list.  Jerry's handicap is Jerry.  You know those blind squirrels I was talking about?  They have migrated over to Two Rivers to get away from the courses Jerry usually plays.  They are blind from hanging out in trees where Jerry's golf  balls go screaming into and hitting them, disabling their optic nerve.  Too many blows to the occipital lobe of the brain I guess.

Cheap Shot!!  Just when you think you have a friend in another place. I am bring my B plus game in three weeks!!!

Jerry;

What did you shoot yesterday....  On second thought, I probably need to rephrase that one when talking to law enforcement.....  How many times did you break out the foot wedge yesterday? 

Lee

I'm good with what Jim has come up with for the wagering.

Doug, Lee, Ritch:

I agree Ritch, we'll have to come up with our own intra-4-some wagering.  However, don't count on me carrying the team as my game is in shambles!!  I may get to play one more 9 hole round before July 25th, (I've played 5, 9 hole rounds so far this year)which should be more than enough playing time to take some money from the three of you.  ;-)      

45 holes is all you've played this year!!!! WTF!!!  You have a 20 yr old and a 16 yr old.  Time for a little Stevie time on the links.  Time to get once or twice a week kitchen passes.  Time to skip out of work for a looooonng lunch or afternoon off every once in a while.  Work to Live man....don't Live to work!!!!  Hell, I played 72 holes two weekends ago in a tournament and you've only played 45 this whole year.  I'll agree with ya on the fact though that it should be more than enough for your foursome to handle.

(getting off my soapbox)

Jerry - Don't worry about me, bought new clubs and have same shitty swing.  Connor and I have played about 4 times this year, not enough to be worth a crap.

Jim,

Until about 2 yrs ago my game could compete with Tourney players from Sioux City.

Then I got greedy.  My natural shot is a sweet little draw.  I figured, hey I can draw the ball when I want to, I need to be able to fade the ball when I want to also.  That little experiment screwed me.  Now on any given swing I can shank the ball, hit my draw, pull hook the ball or hit a weak little push out to the right.  It pisses me off to no end and scares the shit out of me at the same time.  Now, those bad thoughts are in my head and that's the big problem. Hence, I don't spend too much time at the course.  I've been able to keep all my clubs (Titleist) intact.  If they were some Shopko specials like Lee plays, they would be at the bottom of some pond by now.   

We'll see what the swing will produce on the 25th.     

Steve, Doug, Ritch (and special case Puetz)

Smacktalk 101

"It will be like taking candy from a baby"  "Show me the money"  "Bring it"

Caddyshack quotes, take your pick:

"I smell varmint poontang. And the only good varmint poontang is dead varmint poontang, I think."

"This crowd has gone deadly silent, a Cinderella story outta nowhere. Former greenskeeper and now about to become the masters champion ... He's on his final hole. He's about 455 yards away, he's gonna hit about a 2 iron I think ... IT'S IN THE HOLE!"

Let me tell you a little story? I once knew a guy who could have been a great golfer, could have gone pro, all he needed was a little time and practice. Decided to go to college instead. Went for four years, did pretty well. At the end of his four years, his last semester he was kicked out ... You know what for? He was night putting, just putting at night with the 15-year-old daughter of the Dean ... You know who that guy was Danny?

For you Steve...

I'm going to give you a little advice. There's a force in the universe that makes things happen. And all you have to do is get in touch with it, stop thinking, let things happen, and be the ball.

Lee

Nice job!!! I guess when you have watched a movie 10,000 times, that stuff just roles off of your tongue. By the way "Some one needs to go to town and get a shit load of dimes" You have to know where  that one had come from.

My golf game the other day was a typical first time out type of round. Some good shots and some shitty shots. The short game was too long and the long game was too short. I think I will play good enough to enjoy myself at Two Rivers. That is about where my goal setting is these days. I look forward to seeing everyone in a couple of weeks.

Very good of you Jerry to remember that one....here's another from the same movie:

Well, it got so that every piss-ant prairie punk who thought he could shoot a gun would ride into town to try out the Waco Kid. I must have killed more men than Cecil B. DeMille. It got pretty gritty. I started to hear the word "draw" in my sleep. Then one day, I was just walking down the street when I heard a voice behind me say, "Reach for it, mister!" I spun around... and there I was, face-to-face with a six-year old kid. Well, I just threw my guns down and walked away. Little bastard shot me in the ass. So I limped to the nearest saloon, crawled inside a whiskey bottle, and I've been there ever since.

Let the smack talk begin!

Olie:

So in other words your game sucks, but you're pretty sure you can take our money! With our one stroke per hole we should have no problem taking money while that voice in your head says," Steeeve, the wind is pickin' up from right to left, might wanna use that new controlled fade of yours to thread the needle on this tight fairway. No wait a minute Steve, remember, you cant hit a fade, you can only hit a draw. The hell you can't hit a fade Steve, go for it!"

Man, this is gonna be fun!

Jim,  I swung by the house today to pay my green fees and only Lexi was home.  I didn't think it would be a good idea to give her the money so I dug a hole in the yard and gave Lexi the map.

Lee,

That is awesome! What a great movie.  I'm going barefoot like Ty.  nanananananananana...thank you very little.

Ritch,

I'm on a mission, a mission from God.   There won't be any Cindarella story for you on the 25th.

Now, I'm off to the Pro for my lesson.

Steve