100 Words of Wisdom


100 Words of St. Louis Park Wisdom to Consider

…from the Creosote


  1. The problem with America is stupidity. We're not saying there should be a capital punishment for stupidity; but why don't we just take the safety labels off of everything and let the problem solve itself?
  2. Always remember you're unique, just like everyone else.
  3. If you cannot convince them, confuse them.
  4. Beware of he who would deny you access to information, for in his heart, he dreams himself your master.
  5. The early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.
  6. Put your hand on a hot stove for a minute, and it seems like an hour. Sit with a pretty girl for an hour, and it seems like a minute. THAT'S relativity. -- Albert Einstein
  7. If you're not on somebody's shit list, you're not doing anything worthwhile.
  8. Knowledge speaks, but wisdom listens.
  9. When I hear somebody sigh "Life is hard" I'm always tempted to ask "Compared to what?"
  10. You never truly understand something until you can explain it to your grandmother. --Albert Einstein
  11. Beauty, brains, availability, personality; pick any two and you might get lucky.
  12. The way some people find fault, you'd think there was some kind of reward.
  13. Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.
  14. Accept that some days you are the pigeon and some days the statue.
  15. Ambition is a poor excuse for not having enough sense to be lazy.
  16. Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups.
  17. People who think they know what they're doing are especially annoying to those of us who do.
  18. An expert is one who knows more and more about less and less until he knows absolutely everything about nothing.
  19. Children seldom misquote you. In fact, they usually repeat word for word what you shouldn't have said.
  20. The only way to get rid of temptation is to yield to it.


  1. Once the toothpaste is out of the tube, it's hard to get it back in.
  2. Those who drink to drown their sorrows should be told that sorrows know how to swim.
  3. Unless you can question your own beliefs, you have no place questioning the beliefs of others.
  4. Men are from earth. Women are from earth. Deal with it.
  5. Love isn't only blind; it's also deaf, dumb, and stupid.
  6. In the end, it's not the years in your life that count, it's the life in your years.
  7. Amateurs built the ark. Professionals built the Titanic.
  8. The reason grandparents and grandchildren get along so well is that they have a common enemy.
  9. If you lend someone $20 and never see that person again, it was probably worth it.
  10. If you love something very much, give it away. If it comes back to you, it's yours forever. If it doesn't, it wasn't yours to begin with.  When will people learn that about other people?
  11. Accept risk. Accept responsibility. Put a lawyer out of business.
  12. It is far more impressive when others discover your good qualities without your help.
  13. I think, therefore I am.  I doubt, therefore I might be.
  14. Make it idiot proof and someone will make a better idiot.
  15. When bosses talk about improving productivity, they are never talking about themselves.
  16. Age is an issue of mind over matter. If you don't mind, it doesn't matter.
  17. You cannot achieve the impossible without attempting the absurd.
  18. The gene pool could use a little chlorine.
  19. Nothing is illegal until you get caught.
  20. Roger's Axiom: The sum of intelligence on the planet is a constant. The population is growing, so be glad you lived now.
  1. Don't let schooling get in the way of your education.
  2. Keep that sense of humor; it's critical.
  3. I envy my dog because, he always tries to put his head between some girls legs, and they pet him!
  4. Whoever said money can't buy happiness simply didn't know where to go shopping.
  5. Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.
  6. A rich man is nothing but a poor man with money.
  7. A citizen of America will cross the ocean to fight for democracy, but won't cross the street to vote in a national election.
  8. Things are only impossible until they're not.
  9. If you can't learn to do it well, learn to enjoy doing it badly.
  10. People who say it can't be done, should not interrupt those of us who are doing it.
  11. There is a light at the end of every tunnel. Just pray that it isn’t a train.
  12. Please excuse my bad English; I'm American.
  13. Give the gift of love, and people think you're cheap. Give them a cheap bit of crap, and they love you for it. Go figure.
  14. Incoming fire has the right of way.
  15. My opinions may have changed, but not the fact that I am right.
  16. When tempted to fight fire with fire, keep in mind that the Fire Department usually uses water.
  17. Never put off till tomorrow what you can avoid all together.
  18. Age is a very high price to pay for maturity.
  19. A real person has two reasons for doing anything ... a good reason and the real reason.
  20. A great many people think they are thinking when they are merely rearranging their prejudices.
  1. If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of car payments.
  2. We have enough youth, how about a fountain of SMART?
  3. "Those who can make you believe absurdities can make you commit atrocities" - Voltaire
  4. The two most common things in the Universe are hydrogen and stupidity.
  5. Hard work has a future payoff. Laziness pays off now.
  6. Life may have no meaning. Or even worse, it may have a meaning of which I disapprove.
  7. God Bless America, where laws are passed to protect people from the legal system.
  8. "To argue with a person who has renounced the use of reason is like administering medicine to the dead." - Thomas Paine
  9. The intelligence of a group is inversely proportional to its size.
  10. Lottery: A tax on people who are bad at math.
  11. Warning: Dates in your Calendar are closer than they appear.
  12. Under capitalism, man exploits man. Under communism, it's just the opposite.
  13. I judge a religion as being good or bad based on whether its adherents become better people as a result of practicing it.
  14. There's an old proverb that says just about whatever you want it to.
  15. If advertisers spent the same amount of money on improving their products as they do on advertising them, they wouldn't have to advertise them.
  16. Foreign aid might be defined as a transfer from poor people in rich countries to rich people in poor countries.
  17. I would never die for my beliefs because I might be wrong.
  18. Plagiarism is copying from one source; research is copying from many.
  19. Only adults have difficulty with childproof caps.
  20. Ever notice that the people who are late are often much jollier than the people who have to wait for them?
  1. Genius may have its limitations, but stupidity is not thus handicapped.
  2. Life isn't weird; it's the people in it.
  3. I AM, therefore I THINK!
  4. There are many humorous things in the world: among them the white man's notion that he is less savage than the other savages.
  5. No one is perfect, but some of us are closer than others.
  6. If it jams, force it. If it breaks, it needed replacing anyway.
  7. It's not what you say in your argument; it's how loud you say it.
  8. Anytime things appear to be going better, you have overlooked something.
  9. If you are good, you will be assigned all the work. If you are really good, you will get out of it.
  10. A penny saved is a penny taxed.
  11. Doubt isn't the opposite of faith; it is an element of faith.
  12. I know my biology; it's your biology I don't know.
  13. Technology is dominated by two types of people: Those who understand what they do not manage, and those who manage what they do not understand.
  14. What is a free gift? Aren't all gifts free?
  15. Life would be much simpler and things would get done much faster if it weren't for other people.
  16. The worst part of having success is trying to find someone who is happy for you.
  17. An encyclopedia is a system for collecting dust in alphabetical order.
  18. A classic is something that everybody wants to have read and nobody wants to read.
  19. Experience is that marvelous thing that enables you to recognize a mistake when you make it again.
  20.  A free society is one where it is safe to be unpopular.