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After College (Univ. of Richmond), I joined the Merchant Marines. 20 long years on the open Ocean with exotic ports of call like Singapore, Malaysia, and Burma. Wine, women, and widdling of Whale tusks. Finally, I decided to settle down, but who would want a washed up Seaman like me. I moved to the midwest to try my hand at Farming. It didn't take long to discover that driving a Combine was harder than it looked. I ruined many a field of dreams (and corn, wheat, etc.) before I gave up the American dream. I drifted for a while. Went to Hollywood to make a name for myself. A name for myself I created. It was "dunksfarkten". That's Indonesian for "lousy extra in a B-rated movie that will go directly to DVD because no one will pay to see it in the theatre." Finally, Mr. dunksfarkten as I was known then, left Tinsel-town for the East Coast. Yes, back home to the salt air and extreme humidity. I settled in a small town known as Bluffton, SC. Why here? Simple. Bluffton is close to the Ocean (Hilton Head area) and the women are cheap, sleezy, and really dig ex-Merchant Marines who have tried their hand at Farming and had a so-so Hollywood career. And yes, one of those cheap sleezy woman is now known as Mrs. Dunksfarkten, and proud of it... We managed to create a brood of 3. There should be laws against that for people like me. All three are still in the Bluffton area. The Dunksfarkten name has become quite a status symbol in this community. For relaxation, we bait the seagulls with fake breadcrumbs and we take long walks on the Beach to reminise about the good ole days. And how does all come around to my new career as a Crab Pot Retrieval Specialist. I'm really not sure. It just seemed like a cool thing to do in my spare time... I won't see any of my old friends from the class of '79 at the Reunion, so say hello to my sis for me. And if you really want to say "hi", give me a call. I'm a washed-up sea-farin loner, who's always excited to get a phone call from an old friend...
