35-Year Reunion
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Thought I would share a reunion essay with you.
A MATTER OF LAUGH OR DEATH
Come to think of it, not much has changed in 30 some years
It’s hard to believe it has been 30 some years since Graduation Day, 1976. It’s hard to believe after this many years, we continue to say, “It’s hard to believe…” What did we think, that we were immune to the passage of time?
That we would remain forever in our 20s? That we were the first generation in history that would not wake up one day and discover we were now in our 50s, and our kids are older than we were when we graduated?
Yes, that’s exactly it. We never thought we’d ever get old. Or, at least, we never thought it would happen so darn quickly. There’s an old expression: The more things change, the more they stay the same. Well, there’s another old expression: The more things change, the more they REALLY change.
Here is a list that demonstrates how much things indeed have changed during the past 30 some years.
Each couplet describes something we were doing back in 1976, followed by what we instead are doing now in 2009.
Sociology exam – Prostate exam.
Going to sleep at 4 a.m. – Waking up at 4 a.m.
Keg parties – Tupperware parties.
Long hair – No hair.
Hot babes – Hot flashes.
Hours of enjoyment with a $4 Frisbee – Hours of frustration with a $900 set of golf clubs.
Progressive politics – Progressive bifocals.
Getting high – Getting high blood pressure.
Beer kegs that flowed to the max – Bladders in desperate need of FLOMAX.
Lying to our parents about what we did in college – Lying to our children about what we did in college.
Starting Saturday night at 10 p.m. – Concluding Saturday night at 10 p.m.
Poli Sci – PoliGrip.
Studying ancient history – Remembering ancient history. Thinking people in their 30s were old timers – Thinking people in their 30s are young pups.
Hundreds of vinyl albums stored in a heavy wooden crate – Hundreds of digital albums stored in a 2-ounce iPod.
Hoping we wouldn’t have to move back in with our parents – Hoping our kids won’t move back in with us.
Greek fraternities – Grecian formula.
Wishing our parents would leave us alone – Wishing our kids would call once in a while.
Amazed at Bruce Springsteen’s endurance during a 3-hour concert – Amazed at Bruce Springsteen’s endurance during a 3-hour concert.
Bushy mustache – Bushy ear hair.
Deciding where to live – Deciding where to be buried.
Trying to discover the meaning of life – Trying to discover the meaning of death.
Focused on finding happiness – Realizing happiness comes when we stop focusing on it.
Now that the Class of ‘76 has acquired age and guile, we too understand that the experience gained during the past three decades far outweighs youth, innocence, and especially those hideous 1970s-style haircuts.
Which brings us to our final 1976-2009 couplet Thinking people in their 50s were ancient fossils – Knowing people in their 50s are just hitting their prime.
Well, at least that’s our story and we’re sticking to it. Have a great reunion!
NO EXCUSES!!!
If you are NOT coming to the reunion, you need a good excuse and a note from your probation officer or whoever else keeps you out of trouble. The following reasons have been tried and are UNacceptable.
Excuse #1: I've gained a lot of weight!
Rebuttal: Look around!! I doubt any of us could get back into our jeans from high school any more.
Excuse #2: I'm a different person than I was in high school
Rebuttal: Lucky for you, we ALL are. Let's face it: we could only have improved.
Excuse #3: I don't look as good as I'd like. I (choose one or more) am bald, have wrinkles, saddlebags, grey hair and no one will recognize me.
Rebuttal: Guess what! You won't recognize anyone else, either. Using the reunion committee as a representative sample, our whole class looks like a "before" photo in a plastic surgery ad.
Excuse #3: I'm not successful. I'm not (choose one or more) a lawyer, a doctor or rich.
Rebuttal: You'll be pleasantly surprised to find how much everyone has matured. We may be plump and wrinkled (see Excuse #3, above) but we're not stupid. Money is not success. Please note that any doctors in the class are very welcome. Any lawyers will need to ask for special permission to attend.
Excuse #4: I was not in a popular clique in school
Rebuttal: Now that we're older and smarter, those cliques have dissolved just like the superficialities they were based on. The only cliques you'll notice at the reunion will be the sound of your joints as you walk around.
Another article on class reunions.
Why Reunite?
Chew on this - if you're struggling with the idea of attending a Reunion, this article is for you. Apparently the internal debate is universal. I know I've had some of the same thoughts. If I wait until I'm rich enough/thin enough/successful enough, you guys will never see me again!
Read on and discuss amongst yourselves. It would behoove us all to realize that our classmates don't care about what we look like, the size of our checkbook, or how fast we've climbed the corporate ladder.
For a few hours, at least, we can all be 18 again! Well, 18 with wrinkles, anyways...
Not that we look old enough for this, but high school reunion season has rolled around, and this year is a biggie.
Over the next few months, thousands of erstwhile kids from across the region will be flocking home to the nest like overgrown chicks for the ultimate almost-midlife milestone: the 20th high school reunion.
But there is a surprising number of thirtysomethings who insist on missing this incredible chance to face - and laugh at - the past.
Why? This is what we're hearing, and why we think they should change their minds.
The Top 10 list of excuses for avoiding the reunion...
I am not rich yet. Or, my job is not high-powered enough.
When will you be successful enough to face everyone? In 2028, at our 40th reunion? Please don't wait that long, life is too short to miss a chance to connect. Check your ego, and show up anyway.
I'm 38 and have not yet married, had kids, bought a house, written a book, sold my screenplay, . . . (fill in your favorite personal disappointment here). You have been doing something during these past 20 years. Come and tell everyone about it.
I'm too fat/going bald/have an embarrassing skin condition. You aren't alone. Not a good excuse. Pull on your Spanx, comb it over, slather on the Eucerin, and forget about it for the night.
I hated everyone from high school. Everyone? Not one single person you can remember with fondness? Check your e-mail contacts list, I bet there is at least one faithful high school pal there. Message them and see if they are going. Ask if they would like to see you there.
Everyone from high school hated me. Or, I haven't been in touch in 20 years, so if they didn't hate me then, they hate me now. And ignoring this problem will make it go away? Time to make amends. Show up at your reunion, make peace, and enjoy a special bonus - you won't spend the next 20 years being hated.
I can't remember anyone's name. That's why God invented name tags and an open bar.
I'm afraid to see the one who broke my heart/whose heart I broke. Or, I'm afraid I won't see them. Suck it up, they probably don't remember you anyway.
I don't want my spouse to know what a loser I was in high school. They already know. They love you anyway.
I hate '80s music. I refuse to go anywhere where I might be trapped in a room listening to Duran Duran or Frankie Goes to Hollywood. Maybe your reunion has hired a sadistic DJ, but my Wellesley High reunion has made its playlist negotiable.
I can't go because I (or someone very close to me) is having a baby, living more than 3,000 miles away, just declared bankruptcy...OK, in those very special cases, you get a free get-out-of-reunion card, and we wish you well.
But seriously folks, even though some of us lived in Wellesley before bloggers started calling it "Swellesley" - in fact, before bloggers even existed - there is something to celebrate about where we came from, and how far we've come. Even if some of you are afraid it's not far enough.
See you there.
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