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*r. Gregory "Greg" Upchurch
Hey, Barak!
Haven't seen you in a long time! I'm thinking maybe it was the time we were sitting around drinking tea and I gave you the idea to change the National anthem from the belligerant "Star Spangled Banner" to "I'd Like To Teach the World to Sing" so as not to intimidate our Muslim brothers and sisters. Or maybe it was the time I suggested you disarm America for the same reason. Anyway, its great to talk with you again.
I need a favor. You've got this guy working for you and he needs a few days off. His name is Ken Albrecht. He's an old retired Army officer (you know, one of those guys you're lothe to shake hands with except for photo ops?). He needs the time off for a very important function but he's old and forgetful and I'm concerned he's so intimidated by you that he's afraid to fill out his "Application for Absence". Would you cut him some slack and let him take his time off in April. You'll probably never miss him and I know his co-workers will appreciate a few days when he's not just sitting around the office soiling his pants.
Looking forward to hanging around with you again. Maybe this time we can talk about how to tax the hell out of those dummies who voted you into office so you can pay for your health care package. Congrats on that BTW. That package puts us just one more step towards socialism. Whatta guy!
With deepest affection,
R. Gregory Upchurch
HMA, Class of '68
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