Sheilah Rae Bernstein Gross

Dear Paula: It is with deep sadness that I read about Schuy's death. But my oh my, what an incredible life you two have had. In high school and after, I admired you both so much. And when I'd heard you'd married, I thought to myself, 'how perfect!' I am so sorry for this loss to you and your family, and may you all be spared any more sorrows. He was an amazing guy, and you have had a life of love and luck. With warmest wishes, Sheilah Rae (Bernstein) Gross

Posted on: May 01, 2021 at 9:33 AM

Posted on: Apr 27, 2021 at 1:33 AM

Posted on: Mar 29, 2021 at 12:57 PM

Great pic, TJ.

Kath: Hope you are feeling better, and that this shall pass...fingers crossed you pull through this. Sending you much love and healing light, Sheilah

I as last in touch with Bob Arons around the time of our 40th or 45th Reunion, at which time he had contacted me about doing this whole incredible video montage as part of our 'entertainment'. I told him that if he had the wherewithal to complete such a daunting and ambitious task, to go for it...but alas, funding became an issue (when isn't it?) and he didn't ever get into it, nor did he attend the reunion. I think he was angry with me for not rescuing this idea and making it happen financially.

But Bob and I had a long time friendship in high school and our senior year, besides being in musicals together, were part of a jazz band that Bob put together that included the late great Tom Boras from Elmsford  who eventually became chair of the Jazz Dept at NYU. Our hope was to provide the music for proms and various bar mitzvahs and while our gigs were limited, our fun was neverending and rehearsals a total blast.

Bob sent me a bunch of his jazz recordings from the temple where he was doing his jazz Jewish liturgical stuff, and it all sounded very exciting, and I told him he had to get into a studio and do some professional recordings of this music---his recordings were all done on walkmans inside the synogogue, and consequently full of ambient noise, and difficult to really 'hear'. He agreed, but I don't think he ever followed through.

As kids in high school, Bob and I certainly had our share of laughs, always centered around our music. In college and after I'd moved to NY and started working on Broadway, we lost touch, and I was always saddened by that, but I know that he'd had a rich life in the advertising field, I believe, and with his family. Bob was definitely an original, and I will miss him.

Sheilah Rae Bernstein Gross

Pam and I were wonderful friends in high school, totally oil and water, and completely bonded through our music and love of theater. Pam attended the University of Michigan with me, but unfortunately left either during or shortly after our freshman year, but we shared the same voice teacher there, and we both pledged Delta Delta Delta sorority. I was completely saddened when she decided not to return to the U of M, but I also understood her love for Kit, and why she felt she had to get married right then to him! They had an amazing relationship, and she adored him completely. He worshipped her and that was incredible to see.

The last time I saw Pam (and Kit) was when she came to see a musical I had written, 'Funny, You Don't Look Like A Grandmother' which was being performed in Palm Beach FL. She had driven down with her husband, and I think one of her daughters and son in law came as well. We had a lovely pre-show dinner together, and then they came to the Royal Poinciana Playhouse to see the show. I sat between her and Kit. She was dolled up to the nines, and looked amazing---this was around 1995. The shocking thing was that during the show, this tough Viet Nam Warrior and beautiful former leading lady sat and wept through the thing...don't get me wrong. The show had some touching moments, but their emotional reaction was undeniable and genuine.

I wasn't in touch with Pam as much as I'd wanted to be in recent years...we all get centered in our own busy lives and I didn't reach out as much as I should have. I'd heard she'd moved to be near a daughter, and was so sorry for the losses in her own life/husband, daughter.

Pam was goodness personified. I don't think she had a jealous or mean bone in her body. The thought of her toughing it out in show business was abhorent, and I knew she ended up exactly where she belonged. Clearly she was well loved, and will be missed by anyone whose life she crossed.

I met Scott during the summer after our sophomore year when we took Driver's Ed together. He sat in front of me for the class, but was always turning around to give me bizarre cryptic notes with hilarious drawings, laced with his always brilliant sense of humor. I immediately thought he was about the coolest guy ever. We stayed pals, and he was great friends with my senior year boyfriend, the engaging and super-intelligent Peter Clark. The two of them together were unquestionably the brightest, funniest, most intellectual people I had ever met in my limited North Shore life and I adored them both madly. In recent years, though I had not seen Scott, we were in touch via email. He had had a near death experience in a (I believe) motorcycle accident and had moved from Colorado down to Bisbee, AZ, or somewhere near there. He shared with me how gruesome and terrifying this had all been and I was relieved to know that he was on the mend and living in an area that made him happy. Peter Clark, with whom I am periodically in touch still, remained close to Scott, or was in contact with him the last time Peter and I e'd, which is probably a few years ago now. Hearing of his death has stunned and shocked me, and I hope that he found peace and happiness in these last few years. I was a devoted fan, Scott, and I will miss you in this cosmos.