School Story:
Well, I do have a few favorites!
I remember sitting in Mr. Diakiw's Science class. I think I sat in front of Joan Kindrachuk, who I think was the leader of the troublemaking girls, if I'm not mistaken!!! Then across from us sat Patricia Yuzik, and I think Debbie Diakiw.
In class, I would pretend to be Joan's psychiatrist, I don't really remember why, but we'd bs in class. The funny part, was that the troublemaking girls would always get me in trouble!!! One of them would say, "Perry!! Stop throwing erasers!!" LOL Mr. Diakiw would say, "Okay, Perry, go stand outside the classroom!" I'd say, "But I didn't do anything!! They're all lying!!" Of course, because they were girls, number one, and popular, he believed them!! I am sure somewhere down the line they have paid for that in life, and if they haven't, I hope to get revenge one day!!! LOL
My next favorite story is about our school bully, Kelly Borstmeyer. Kelly rode the same school bus as me, and as I mentioned, he was a well known bully amongst all the other bullies.
One day, we were riding the bus home from school. For some reason it feels important to mention that it was Spring. Hmmmmm..... Anyhoo, I was sitting on the bus, reading a book, minding my own business, trying to block out the reality of riding the school bus, which for me, was always so much fun! LOL Kelly had a rolled up magazine, and started "twacking" me on the back of the head! I kept telling him to fuck off, leave me alone, blah blah blah! After him hitting me probably 4 or 5 times, I turned around in my seat, leaned back, and kicked him in the side of the face with my muddy boot!!! LOL He had a big muddy boot print on his face!! He said, "Yeah, you better watch what you're doing!" I was like, "Well, I told you to leave me alone you asshole!"
Oh my god, I still laugh my ass off to this day when I think of that!!! LOL Of course, everyone on the bus roared with laughter! My brother told me how awesome that was, and said I was his hero that day!!! LOL
This next one is really short. Do any of you remember Theodora Olchove? (Her Dad ran the funeral home)
One day she wanted to heat up some water for some reason, and she put a plastic pail on the stove!!!! LMFAO!!! WTF????!!!!! LOL I am pretty sure she was smoking a lot of pot back then!!!! Oh my god, that is so funny!! Hee heee!!
I remember when Penny, Melissa, Arlene, Timmy, Val and I would go to the Totzke bridge, and if we were lucky to have some alcohol, we would get drunk. I had a 1963 Ford Galaxy, which was built like a tank, so a lot of times I would drive.
I remember one time we were so desperate for mix for some rye that we had. (I would barf if I drank rye today!!) Anyway, one time we were so desperate for mix, that we used ROOTBEER!!!!! Oh my god, that was so gross!!!!!! LMAO!!! If you don't believe me, try it!!!
I remember in grade 7, I was bugging Leanne Schlosser. We were waiting for Sister Marian to come into the classroom. (Wasn't she a hoot?!!) Anyway, I was bugging Leanne, and she gets out of her desk and tries to kick me. I grabbed her foot, and lifted it up, and she fell on her ass! LOL Just as Sister Marian entered the room, she said, "You're going to fucking get it!!" LOL Well, of course, Sister Marian turned right around and left the room!!! I was like, Oh my god, we are in so much trouble!!! LOL
I remember in Grade 6, we were just the worst class of horrible children!! Remember for Valentine's Day? LOL I think I had to go to the front of the class because I was talking (Big surprise!! LOL) I had to write lines on the board, "I will not talk in class, blah blah blah!!" Anyway, something else was going on, and Sister Louise said we couldn't have our Valentine's party. At that point, I think it was Linda and Yvonne that went to the front of the class, and said they were having their party, and grabbed their stuff and went back to their desks, and proceeded to eat their treats!! That poor Sister Louise!! I am sure we drove her to quit teaching!!! We were such horrrible children!
Anyone remember the wake-a-thon we had? I don't remember much about it, but I do remember we had fun. I remember all the girls were dancing, and one guy made a smart comment to me, "Oh, you should go dance with the girls!!". Of course everyone thought I was gay back then, and as it turns out, they were right!!! I'm FabUlouSSSS!!!
I have another school bus story!!! LMAO!! I don't remember why, but my brother, Keith, got into a fight with our bus driver, Mr. Diakiw!!! My brother Keith was like the devil back then!! He was punching Mr. Diakiw in the stomach, etc. LOL!!
One of my favorite stories, of course, involves the troublemaking girls. AGAIN! LOL
We had a really pretty teacher in Grade 8, named Gaye Robinson (Who the fuck names their kid Gaye??? LOL!!) Anyway, she was wearing a stylish kerchief around her neck, but she lost the metal ring, so she wore a twist tie!! The girls (you know who you are) went up to her, and flicked it, and said, "Oh my god, what is that???" Miss Robinson said, "Well, I lost the metal ring that goes on it". Then the girls made fun of her, and were like, "Oh, god, does that ever look stupid!" "blah blah blah!!" That was so funny!
Speaking of Miss Robinson, of course we all remember when Teddy Saxinger was bad in class?? Remember when Miss Robinson told him to come to the front of the class? She put a chair at the front of the class, and put him over her knee, and spanked him in front of everyone!!!!!!! Fuck, that was hilarious!!!!!
This next story is really cute! I remember in grade 3, we were having quiet time in class, and were cleaning out our desks. I kept talking to Joan Kindrachuk, because again, for some reason, now that I think of it, she was sitting either in front of me or behind me! (Now that I think of it, she was probably stalking me!!!! LOL Can you imagine, a grade 3 kid stalking someone??? LMAO!!)
Anyway, I kept talking to her (again, big surprise!!) Mrs. Lange told me to be quiet a few times, and said she would put tape on my mouth if I wasn't quiet. So, I kept talking, and Mrs. Lange put some scotch tape on my mouth! Well, the funny thing is that the tape kept coming off, so I kept pressing it back on my mouth!!! LOL
Speaking of me and my mouth, I remember in Grade 2, I was walking up the stairs in the old school with Mrs. Schwartz, and I was talking to her. She called me her little chatterbox!!! LOL
I remember once in Grade 5, I forgot my lunch at home. I told Mrs. Durant that I forgot my lunch. I was pretty upset, because I didn't have any money. She said I could come home and have lunch with them! So I went for lunch with Brad and his brother, Randy, and of course, Mrs. Durant! We had chicken noodle soup, bananas, and bread with actual butter! I was like, "Oh, this is what butter tastes like!!" LOL Being from a family of "modest" means, we always had margarine! Anyway, her kindness has always stayed with me to this day. That was such a nice thing for her to do.
I remember one of the more humiliating times in school for me. I was HORRIBLE at sports!! I really really tried, but just couldn't coordinate myself. Anyway, we'd be playing softball at recess, and we would pick teams. ALMOST ALWAYS, I would be picked last!!! The girls would get picked before me, even Sandra Redding!!! LOL It was so humiliating and embarrassing!! I can actually laugh about it now, but back then, it really was painful for me.
