I’m going to apologize in advance for probably not being adequate in my ability to fully convey my thoughts & appreciation for Kim. Not because time has dulled my memories. But because I know I still may not have the words to say how much she really touched our lives, and still does, close to 25 years after her death.
I couldn’t help but notice that none of us had yet posted a note in her memory. She meant so much to so many and it was certainly was hard to loose her at such a young age, in the prime of her life with so much to offer. It's not an easy thing to want to remember. Her loss certainly isn’t forgotten by any of us, and likely never will be. But I’ll share some of my thoughts & experiences with her in high school, because she was my best friend then, and I owe her a great deal to this day. To always remember how a life should be lived.
I remember meeting her in the Summer of ’76 after our Freshman year, when we were all making friendships after Junior High and getting ready to "start" at Central. Some of my friends from South Jr., who had played football against Valley, knew Dave Haney and some of his friends. We met at Diane Roehrick’s house as I recall, probably to “size each other up” as friends. You can remember: Riding your bikes to a friend’s house, meeting up at their house (for guys, usually a young lady’s) late in the afternoon on a hot Summer day, & their parents being agitated at having a throng of kids in their front yard. For anyone first meeting her, you couldn’t help but notice the tiny, dark haired, young girl who laughed and smiled at an almost frenetic pace. I initially wondered if there was something wrong with her! But it was infectious and she always disarmed everyone with her ability to be funny & self deprecating, all while we knew she had nothing to apologize for.
When school began our Sophomore year, she was almost immediately noticed by all as someone who had time for everyone. Let’s remember: This is a period of time, in any young person’s life, when it’s important to be part of something and accepted. Yet she was almost oblivious to what was perceived as “cool” and went out of her way to include everyone. I can remember her once that year in the hallway, talking and laughing with a group of Special Education students as I walked by. It was a touchstone moment for me and my memory of her. Her ability to be interested & appreciative of people wasn’t for her “reaching out”, as if it were some kind of “effort”. It was mature; It was kind; & It was genuine. As I got to know her better, I realized how much every day mattered to her. Again, in spite of her age, where being popular & and the everyday, emotional struggle to be accepted was important, she always excelled. Her work ethic, dedication to studies, religion, and community were almost unrealistic to an immature 15 year old like me. “Perfect” comes to mind. To those of us closest to her, she was almost that, or the closest I’ve ever seen at that age. Her ability to balance her life, on her own terms, did not appear to be a sacrifice to her in any way. Unsurprisingly, she was elected by all of us as our Sophomore Attendant for the Homecoming Football game that year. Not because of her “physical beauty” (you know she definitely had that), but because of how she lived and how she cared about of everyone. All the time; Everyday…
I was lucky to be a small part of her life during these wonderful, growing years. She pushed me to try and be a better person, to achieve something beyond my own self interest & satisfaction. To give you a sense of our last year in High School, our Senior Year of 1979 resulted in: Kim being elected our Homecoming Queen, my being elected Senior Class President; Kim being elected “Best ‘79er with Jeff Wilson, my being a member of our State Championship Hockey Team (Thank You “Palmo”); Kim achieving National Honor Society, Well, I had to give it up somewhere! In our last major Senior Class event, I was honored to be her escort at our Senior Prom. As sickenly sweet as this has to read, it was a “Fairytale Year” that a parent would be proud of no doubt!
I heard the news of Kim’s passing shortly after I had returned to Grand Forks from Phoenix to attend the funeral of my Grandfather. I was very close to him but immediately my thoughts and prayers went to Kim’s young husband & her Family. It was a very long week to be sure.
Kim’s virtues were innumerable. Her short, admirable life was filled with a dedication, effort, & hope for her family & friends and of what they could become. She filled our lives with her best intentions and never compromised her beliefs in our ability to achieve them. To this day, I don’t go many days without thinking of her. I’ve said the word “remember” many times in this note, not without purpose. There was a line in the movie “The Big Chill” that as I grow older seems somewhat profound to me. It’s under the premise of someone who dies too young and a forlorn best friend wondering why this happened. After much soul searching, the best friend says “I believe we have 2 lives: the one we learn with, and the one we live with after that.” Whether it was her religion, ethic, or just plain human compassion, Kim always seemed to know the right path. In this day and age, her legacy can’t be ignored and has to be remembered. My challenge, everyday, is to try and live life as passionately as she did: With the life I learned with, and the one I live with after that.
Mike. Thank you for your heartfelt and beautiful note about Kim and her impact on our lives. I have gone to Kim's "In Memory" site many times to see if anyone had posted a memory. As you pointed out so nicely in your email, it is hard to know where to begin and I think we have all been afraid that we would fall short in our attempt to capture Kim's essence and the way she touched our lives. Like you (and everyone else in our class), I think of Kim often. I remember a kind young woman of the highest character. Someone for all of us to emulate. As you noted so well, Kim lives on and continues to have a wonderful and positive influence on every one of us.
Thanks Mike! I too have come here many times not really sure what to say, you have captured Kim perfectly. I went to school with Kim from grade school on up including some classes at UND. She was a great friend to everyone she came in contact with and I feel blessed to have known her. I have always appreciated the way she made people feel included no matter who they were. It's a rare gift! Thanks again for sharing your memories!
Since we were little girls playing at both our Grandma's houses she had a smile on her face. It was a sad day when Kim passed away. She was as beautiful inside as she was on the outside. I think everyone knew and loved Kim.
Mike- Wow! You captured everything that Kim was. Thank you for sharing all your thoughts. I didn't know this feature existed until I read Mike Bateman's profile today. Mike, I agree with everything you said and can't think of anything you didn't mention. Kim was my best friend and I'll never forget the 1st time I really met her. I had a "vintage" VW and was driving down University Ave. Kim was waiting for the bus and I asked if I could give her a ride. She hopped in and we immediately began our long and wonderful friendship. She was an amazing person inside and out and I really learned about her character after we lived together after high school. She didn't want a hand out, if she couldn't earn it on her own, she didn't need it. I will forever remember her white Gremlin and on cold winter months, you could hear Kim pushing the peddle and "revving" it up so it would warm up faster. Another lasting memory was when we went to Montana after graduation. She had never been anywhere outside of Minnesota and the first time she looked up and saw a mountain she turned to me and said "chic, this is f____'n beautiful! The last time I saw Kim was at my wedding in 1985, I surprised her and met her at the airport--we talked until 3am and had the best "adult" talk ever. The last time I talked to her was a few days before she died, we had plans to meet in Mpls once a month and always be best friends. Although life has many turns and twists, I agree w/Mike that some people have very lasting impressions on you and Kim has made a difference in my life as well.
Ditto to all that has been shared about Kim. She was truly a person of character, integrity, ambition, passion, and of love. With her beautiful looks alone, she could have been a completely different person; one who was shallow and only saw things from the outside. BUT, we all know that Kim was the furthest thing from that kind of person. She was beautiful and adorable--inside and out and was true to herself, her family, and her friends. Their was nothing pretentious or false about Kim; only genuine beauty in so many ways. My favorite memories with Kim are how we were obsessed with "red licorice and wheat thins." We ate those things in the locker room in class, on road trips, at various games and events, and "cruising" around in our vehicles! I remember the powder puff football game, dances, hanging out at her house, my house, our friends' houses, the way she said, "that's just simply w-u-u-n-d-e-r-f-u-l!", her compassion when my dad died when we were juniors, walking alot of places, fussing about having wet hair after swimming and thinking of ways we could get out of class during swimming season, her school spirit, the bonfires, kegs, pep rallies, initiation in the tunnel, etc, our long conversations about life, boys, friendship, etc. I could go on and on... I have spoken quite often about Kim and her integirty at such a young age to my kids and have shared with them what a speciai person she was. Her legacy reminds me of my dad's and how, still to this day, I have people that remember my dad and comment about what a difference he made in their lives. That is Kim, in every way. I am happy to have kept in touch with her sister, Tammy and the rest of the family. Bless you, Kim, always. And, thank you for your friendship and the amazing memories... With Love, Cindy Everson Gapp
Mike Stahl
I’m going to apologize in advance for probably not being adequate in my ability to fully convey my thoughts & appreciation for Kim. Not because time has dulled my memories. But because I know I still may not have the words to say how much she really touched our lives, and still does, close to 25 years after her death.I couldn’t help but notice that none of us had yet posted a note in her memory. She meant so much to so many and it was certainly was hard to loose her at such a young age, in the prime of her life with so much to offer. It's not an easy thing to want to remember. Her loss certainly isn’t forgotten by any of us, and likely never will be. But I’ll share some of my thoughts & experiences with her in high school, because she was my best friend then, and I owe her a great deal to this day. To always remember how a life should be lived.
I remember meeting her in the Summer of ’76 after our Freshman year, when we were all making friendships after Junior High and getting ready to "start" at Central. Some of my friends from South Jr., who had played football against Valley, knew Dave Haney and some of his friends. We met at Diane Roehrick’s house as I recall, probably to “size each other up” as friends. You can remember: Riding your bikes to a friend’s house, meeting up at their house (for guys, usually a young lady’s) late in the afternoon on a hot Summer day, & their parents being agitated at having a throng of kids in their front yard. For anyone first meeting her, you couldn’t help but notice the tiny, dark haired, young girl who laughed and smiled at an almost frenetic pace. I initially wondered if there was something wrong with her! But it was infectious and she always disarmed everyone with her ability to be funny & self deprecating, all while we knew she had nothing to apologize for.
When school began our Sophomore year, she was almost immediately noticed by all as someone who had time for everyone. Let’s remember: This is a period of time, in any young person’s life, when it’s important to be part of something and accepted. Yet she was almost oblivious to what was perceived as “cool” and went out of her way to include everyone. I can remember her once that year in the hallway, talking and laughing with a group of Special Education students as I walked by. It was a touchstone moment for me and my memory of her. Her ability to be interested & appreciative of people wasn’t for her “reaching out”, as if it were some kind of “effort”. It was mature; It was kind; & It was genuine. As I got to know her better, I realized how much every day mattered to her. Again, in spite of her age, where being popular & and the everyday, emotional struggle to be accepted was important, she always excelled. Her work ethic, dedication to studies, religion, and community were almost unrealistic to an immature 15 year old like me. “Perfect” comes to mind. To those of us closest to her, she was almost that, or the closest I’ve ever seen at that age. Her ability to balance her life, on her own terms, did not appear to be a sacrifice to her in any way. Unsurprisingly, she was elected by all of us as our Sophomore Attendant for the Homecoming Football game that year. Not because of her “physical beauty” (you know she definitely had that), but because of how she lived and how she cared about of everyone. All the time; Everyday…
I was lucky to be a small part of her life during these wonderful, growing years. She pushed me to try and be a better person, to achieve something beyond my own self interest & satisfaction. To give you a sense of our last year in High School, our Senior Year of 1979 resulted in: Kim being elected our Homecoming Queen, my being elected Senior Class President; Kim being elected “Best ‘79er with Jeff Wilson, my being a member of our State Championship Hockey Team (Thank You “Palmo”); Kim achieving National Honor Society, Well, I had to give it up somewhere! In our last major Senior Class event, I was honored to be her escort at our Senior Prom. As sickenly sweet as this has to read, it was a “Fairytale Year” that a parent would be proud of no doubt!
I heard the news of Kim’s passing shortly after I had returned to Grand Forks from Phoenix to attend the funeral of my Grandfather. I was very close to him but immediately my thoughts and prayers went to Kim’s young husband & her Family. It was a very long week to be sure.
Kim’s virtues were innumerable. Her short, admirable life was filled with a dedication, effort, & hope for her family & friends and of what they could become. She filled our lives with her best intentions and never compromised her beliefs in our ability to achieve them. To this day, I don’t go many days without thinking of her. I’ve said the word “remember” many times in this note, not without purpose. There was a line in the movie “The Big Chill” that as I grow older seems somewhat profound to me. It’s under the premise of someone who dies too young and a forlorn best friend wondering why this happened. After much soul searching, the best friend says “I believe we have 2 lives: the one we learn with, and the one we live with after that.” Whether it was her religion, ethic, or just plain human compassion, Kim always seemed to know the right path. In this day and age, her legacy can’t be ignored and has to be remembered. My challenge, everyday, is to try and live life as passionately as she did: With the life I learned with, and the one I live with after that.
Patrick Perrone
Mike. Thank you for your heartfelt and beautiful note about Kim and her impact on our lives. I have gone to Kim's "In Memory" site many times to see if anyone had posted a memory. As you pointed out so nicely in your email, it is hard to know where to begin and I think we have all been afraid that we would fall short in our attempt to capture Kim's essence and the way she touched our lives. Like you (and everyone else in our class), I think of Kim often. I remember a kind young woman of the highest character. Someone for all of us to emulate. As you noted so well, Kim lives on and continues to have a wonderful and positive influence on every one of us.Patrick Perrone
Rae Ann Hanson
Thanks Mike! I too have come here many times not really sure what to say, you have captured Kim perfectly. I went to school with Kim from grade school on up including some classes at UND. She was a great friend to everyone she came in contact with and I feel blessed to have known her. I have always appreciated the way she made people feel included no matter who they were. It's a rare gift! Thanks again for sharing your memories!Susan Fayette (McWilliams)
Since we were little girls playing at both our Grandma's houses she had a smile on her face. It was a sad day when Kim passed away. She was as beautiful inside as she was on the outside. I think everyone knew and loved Kim.Lora Holman (Machart)
Mike-Wow! You captured everything that Kim was. Thank you for sharing all your thoughts.
I didn't know this feature existed until I read Mike Bateman's profile today.
Mike, I agree with everything you said and can't think of anything you didn't mention. Kim was my best friend and I'll never forget the 1st time I really met her. I had a "vintage" VW and was driving down University Ave. Kim was waiting for the bus and I asked if I could give her a ride. She hopped in and we immediately began our long and wonderful friendship.
She was an amazing person inside and out and I really learned about her character after we lived together after high school. She didn't want a hand out, if she couldn't earn it on her own, she didn't need it. I will forever remember her white Gremlin and on cold winter months, you could hear Kim pushing the peddle and "revving" it up so it would warm up faster.
Another lasting memory was when we went to Montana after graduation. She had never been anywhere outside of Minnesota and the first time she looked up and saw a mountain she turned to me and said "chic, this is f____'n beautiful!
The last time I saw Kim was at my wedding in 1985, I surprised her and met her at the airport--we talked until 3am and had the best "adult" talk ever. The last time I talked to her was a few days before she died, we had plans to meet in Mpls once a month and always be best friends.
Although life has many turns and twists, I agree w/Mike that some people have very lasting impressions on you and Kim has made a difference in my life as well.
Dave Aamot
Thanks to all of you for opening up your hearts and helping the rest of us do the same. I know I speak for everyone when I say: We miss you Kim..Cindy Everson (Gapp)
Ditto to all that has been shared about Kim. She was truly a person of character, integrity, ambition, passion, and of love. With her beautiful looks alone, she could have been a completely different person; one who was shallow and only saw things from the outside. BUT, we all know that Kim was the furthest thing from that kind of person. She was beautiful and adorable--inside and out and was true to herself, her family, and her friends. Their was nothing pretentious or false about Kim; only genuine beauty in so many ways. My favorite memories with Kim are how we were obsessed with "red licorice and wheat thins." We ate those things in the locker room in class, on road trips, at various games and events, and "cruising" around in our vehicles! I remember the powder puff football game, dances, hanging out at her house, my house, our friends' houses, the way she said, "that's just simply w-u-u-n-d-e-r-f-u-l!", her compassion when my dad died when we were juniors, walking alot of places, fussing about having wet hair after swimming and thinking of ways we could get out of class during swimming season, her school spirit, the bonfires, kegs, pep rallies, initiation in the tunnel, etc, our long conversations about life, boys, friendship, etc. I could go on and on... I have spoken quite often about Kim and her integirty at such a young age to my kids and have shared with them what a speciai person she was. Her legacy reminds me of my dad's and how, still to this day, I have people that remember my dad and comment about what a difference he made in their lives. That is Kim, in every way. I am happy to have kept in touch with her sister, Tammy and the rest of the family. Bless you, Kim, always. And, thank you for your friendship and the amazing memories... With Love, Cindy Everson Gapp