THE CLASS REUNION
Every five years, as summertime nears,
An announcement arrives in the mail,
A reunion is planned; it'll be really grand;
Make plans to attend without fail. 
I'll never forget the first time we met;
We tried so hard to impress.
We drove fancy cars, smoked big, fat cigars,
And wore our most elegant dress. 
It was quite an affair; the whole class was there;
It was held at a fancy hotel.
We wined, and we dined, and we acted refined,
And everyone thought it was swell. 
The men all conversed about who'd been the first
To achieve great fortune and fame.
While their dutiful spouses described their fine houses
--- how gorgeous their kids had become. 
The homecoming queen, who once had been lean,
Now weighed-in at one-ninety-six.
The jocks who were there had all lost their hair,
And the cheer-girls just couldn't do kicks. 
No one had heard about the class nerd
Who'd guided that craft to the moon;
Or poor little Jane, who's always been plain;
But who married a shipping tycoon. 
The boy we'd decreed 'most apt to succeed'
Was serving ten years in the pen,
While the one voted 'least' was now a new priest;
Just shows that you're wrong now and then. 
They awarded a prize to one of the guys
Who seemed to have 'got old' the least..
Another was given to the guy who'd driven
The farthest to be at this feast. 
They took a class picture, a curious mixture
Of beehives, crew cuts and wide ties.
Tall, short or skinny, the style was the mini;
You never saw so many thighs. 
At our next get-together, nobody cared whether
They impressed their classmates or not.
The mood was informal, a whole lot more normal;
By this time we'd all gone to pot. 
It was held out-of-doors, at the sandy lake shores;
We ate hamburgers, coleslaw, and beans.
Then most of us laid around in the shade,
In our comfortable T-shirts and jeans. 
By the fiftieth year, it was painfully clear,
We were definitely over the hill.
Those who weren't dead had to crawl out of bed,
And be home in time for their pill. 
And now I can't wait; they've set the next date;
Our sixtieth is coming, I'm told.
It should be a ball, they've rented a hall
At the Shady Rest Home for the old. 
Repairs have been made on my old hearing aid;
My pacemaker's turned up on high.
My wheelchair is oiled, my teeth have been boiled;
And I've bought a new wig and glass eye. 
I'm feeling quite hearty, I'm ready to party
I'll dance 'til dawn's early light.
It'll be lots of fun; I just hope that there's one
Other person who'll be there that night.
Author Unknown
