RAINBOW

CONNECTION !

 

OUR LGBTQI FRIENDS AND FAMILIES

By Michelle Dean-Jackman

 

A few years ago, my 2 youngest girls (in Junior High at the time) were just sitting around, talking about stuff. And one of them said, "Hey mom, most of my friends have a gay uncle." It was just an "oh, yeah?" from me because they do too. They have their uncle Lonnie, my older brother who many of you know. He was just a year ahead of us. My kids know how much a part of our family my brother is. Always participates in our family parties, so funny and just really great to be around.

My answer to that was..... "you know, it doesn't have to be a 'gay uncle', your kids could have a 'gay aunt' ."  Then, the next (logical) question from them was, "So, who's going to be our kids gay uncle?" then they laughed.

Some of you may now be thinking, "I had no idea he was gay." (Others, "That explains everything.") Up until the time he was in his late 30's we didn't either. He went on his mission, had a wife and 4 of the cutest girls you've ever seen.  I'm not sure when he first really understood, but in those days everyone KNEW it was a sin you had to repent of and go along your merry way not letting a soul know.

Unfortunately, that's still basically the concept..... It doesn't matter what religion, our society has not let our LGBTQI members have the freedoms the rest of that society have.  Though, hopefully, things are getting a little better. We still have a very large percentage of suicides and crimes against them. We need to be educated and always treat everyone with respect.

Fast forward a few years....

My second youngest daughter, Lyndsey, had a couple of gay girlfriends in high school. I tried to let her know that I was ok with that and very supportive. I really did wonder if she would figure out that she was gay.  She was mistaken for a boy all her life!  Even though she knew we were amiable, it took her some time to come out of the closet and tell us.

And so that journey began....

Now, with all those parenting skills already learned raising 8 other kids, where was that handbook that tells how to adjust the "rules" to this situation? Even if there had been some inkling of the possibility before hand. You catch them holding hands.... Kissing.... Well, of course, no more sleepovers!  Why? They can't get pregnant.... You get the drift.  Made it thru that with ever more empathy for their plight.  I love my daughter deeply and sent her off to Utah State to school.

Fast, fast forward 2 years....

Lyndsey takes my husband and I to dinner. She really wanted to tell us something important. This, I could tell, took so much courage for her. Out of the closet again... to tell us that she was really not a female, she really was male. 'He' explained that there is a gender association that everyone has. His is actually male even though he was stuck in a female body. Our now, transgender son calls himself Ezequiel. The first thing that actually poped into my head was, "Oh, that makes sense!"

And so that journey began...

 

http://www.utahpridecenter.org/programs/transgender/item/78-transgender-resource-packets

 

Fast forward again....

(you're thinking NO not again!).  Yes, like my mom loves to tell me, "We won't die dumb".  My oldest daughter represents the B in LGBTQI. She had been married for 5 years but ended in divorce. Her partner is now Katrina and they are the cutest mom's to my grandaughter, Halle.

And so that journey began....

 

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Halle a very well adjusted girl...

 

 

SIT DOWN,

HAVE A COOKIE,

AND TELL YOUR STORY....

 

My Connection

By Wanda Price Lewis

I wanted to add to the Rainbow link. I have just been puzzled how to write in love and respect.  Without doing harm to the ones I love. I have four family members that have to work with the reality that they feel they are different people than what gender they were assigned at birth or how they were brought up.

It is a know fact (working in the medical field) that some parents have a tremendous decisions to make at the birth of their (intersex) child*.  They are faced with the question of their child being either male or female... They have had to painfully make the decision for that child as to what gender they should become.  As a Parent I think we would do our best and hope for the best. Then let the doctor’s work their miracles to help identify that child. Hopefully to the mind and soul of who they are, and match their physical parts to that gender. 

• I have two nieces that have physically been harmed by males and choose not to be with them because of the damaging aspects of their lives. One is open and one pretends to be--- not sure that she really is.

•  A nephew who feels he was born the wrong sex, yet plays both parts because he is uncertain.

•   I have a cousin that was married twice, beaten and harmed by both, then divorced. She had beautiful loving children, after they where grown she choose to marry in California a (Male/Female - military person) that cheated on her. She divorced again and now seeks medical and mental health to see who she is.  Even though she personally does not feel lesbian she felt safer then being beat and raped. Then only to find out that women can be as cruel as men

Man’s inhumanity waxes cold these days and can be harmful to others. I only know that each of these cousins is so dearly loved by me. I only pray for their journey to be safe and peace be with them as they learn to love themselves and God, who dearly loves them and knows them personally. He knows their trials and their pains. This, I do know!  I do not judge them-- I love them.

 

~Michelle Dean Jackman   (Here is little bit about Intersex. Many transgender people are actually Intersexed)

*Parents should understand controversies and changes in treating intersex in recent years. In the past, the prevailing opinion was that it was generally best to assign a gender as quickly as possible, often based on the external genitals rather than the chromosomal gender, and to instruct the parents to have no ambiguity in their minds as to the gender of the child. Prompt surgery was often recommended. Ovarian or testicular tissue from the other gender would be removed. In general, it was considered easier to reconstruct female genitalia than functioning male genitalia, so if the "correct" choice was not clear, the child was often assigned to be a girl.

More recently, the opinion of many experts has shifted. Greater respect for the complexities of female sexual functioning has led them to conclude that suboptimal female genitalia may not be inherently better than suboptimal male genitalia, even if the reconstruction is "easier." In addition, other factors may be more important in gender satisfaction than functioning external genitals. Chromosomal, neural, hormonal, psychological, and behavioral factors can all influence gender identity.

Many experts now urge delaying definitive surgery for as long as healthy, and ideally involving the child in the gender decision.

Works Cited http://www.nlm.nih.gov/medlineplus/ency/article/001669.htm

 

If you have a story to tell, message me. I will add it to this page.