Watching Jay and Judy's last dance at our 30th Central High School Reunion, I knew it was The Last. I found myself locked in a stare noticing his posture and the love embracing our dear Judy Sue who by that time could not make conversation nor remember most our names but she had some sparkle left in her laughing eyes, could still gift us with that incredible smile and share her famously contagious giggle with classmates who had grown up with her beginning with nursery school and Sunday school when we were two or three years old, first becoming cognizant of each other. WE knew what was ahead but we had no idea how long that sorrowful road would be. It was gut wrenching yet a blessing to see her dancing with her loving husband one last time.
We, who were back here in Oklahoma, heard of Jay's strength and attention at her bedside in Houston where they had made their home; as the years slowly crawled by, we wondered how he was able to watch our beautiful Judy Sue fade away so slowly, leaving him and us with not a trace of that infectious smile or giggle..she had no evidence of a memory. We worried about Jay. We wondered what this long mournful vigil would do to him?
Several years ago, we heard about a woman, a nurse named DeLynda, who was full of sunshine, love, and new energy coming into that desolate room attending to Judy's medical needs and lending support to Jay; she was making all of the sorrow and darkness begin to leave! As the many many years slowly passed , twenty and more, we heard about how THE LOVE OF TWO was able to give the best quality of care to our Judy who by then had no conscious quality of life..that raw hard fact caused us to love Jay and DeLynda even more. As those years of loving vigil and care continued, we were comforted to hear of a renewal in Jay's spirit. We knew Roger was close by; that always reassured us. When our Judy passed, we felt sorrow and a good measure of relief. We most of all felt deep deep gratitude for Jay and De Lynda who together had accomplished the impossible with flying colors fully deserved by our beloved Judy Sue Brown. How incredible that out of the "dark agonizing impossible, more beauty than could be imagined had grown." A new Love continued to strengthen showing all signs of a Miracle. It wasnt a "young love" rather a sacred abiding Love wrapped in Wisdom to be recognized, admired, and respected by friends and family, all.
When Jay brought DeLynda to our 50th Reunion, along with Roger and Mary standing alongside as testament to the Quality of their relationship, we instantly fell in love with the shiny Nightingale-butterfly full of grace and energy; we saw the respect in his gaze as it fell upon her so gently; we loved DeLynda instantly. Our understanding, for that of which before we'd only heard, was made complete. Admiration for what these two were passing through had increased in great measure.... then, to see them coming out from that long daily dying bedside vigil for so so many years to share time with us and wearing a visible measure of joy and strength ....WE knew the relationship was a blessing for all. WE rejoiced with them; we rejoiced with Roger and Mary.
Shortly after our 50th Reunion, I had "friended" DeLynda on facebook; over the weeks, months, and years that followed, I saw her strong family, the Love they shared with our Jay; likewise, his family shared their Love and support with DeLynda's; it was all better than good. When their marriage was announced, I had only images of great celebrations, family gatherings, and years of Joy ahead, for both. Oh my goodness, Mr. and Mrs. Jay Rousek at our 55th Class of '61 Reunion! Again, we were inspired by their devotion and respect for each other. We took photographs, videos, and mental pictures so we could continue to enjoy the Joy long after their return to Texas. And, we believed they had Judy Sue's complete agreement in the union. I found myself, once again, staring at Jay...this time dancing with DeLynda...noticing a complete Man of quiet Wisdom who I first knew as a boy then as a rather exuberant young man at Central High School and other places where we hung out in Muskogee, some of which included the awesome company of his Uncle Jack Summers who taught us how to kick the moon into multiple orbits simultaneously! I never in those halcyon days considered that we children might grow up to be "something."...we were so full of ourselves and our pleasures.
Joe B.'s leaving put all of us on notice about our own mortality. Then, as I sat in the pew at Ragsdale's funeral, I saw Men, who I had known previously only as boys, carrying their friend upon strong broad shoulders then placing him in front of the alter. Suddenly, I realized a growth in depth of character and strength had been taking place..they were no longer boys...They were The Men of The Class of '61. Many of our parents by that time were gone... THE MEN AND WOMEN OF THE GREATEST GENERATION...our "boys" had become Men like their fathers; we were making our parents smile. Next to leave was Rafter whose core was exposed when we read the memorable eulogy he wrote for Joe B.. We witnessed Rafto's courage and faith as he struggled with health issues valiantly trying to hold onto Life in a steady spirit of his best cheer. These remembrances were brought back to the surface of my consciousness last Saturday when a dear trusted friend called me: "Jay is dead."
I have had only four days to consider what has happened before my very eyes over the last three decades. God yanked my chain twice to take notice (photos above and below), interestingly both times at Reunions...hopefully, He finally got my full attention on the second chain yanking which has come with a beautiful understanding.......
Jay "Rowdy" Rousek is the epitome of what/how a boy given critical circumstances, Life opportunities, then making the correct investments (not money) can become a Man. His life events took him from a fatherless boyhood in Texas then to a rough and dusty ranch in The Muscogee Creek Nation of Oklahoma then to 12th Street, through a period of Youth's unbridled recklessness, then finally growing slowly, happily, and painfully into a Manhood of Wisdom, Fatherhood, becoming a Good Husband, a sensitive Grandfather (who told Nichol's children about what it was like back-in-our-day), Loyal Friend to Roger Stebbins, and Successful Businessman. When I think in reverse to those wild times of my youth at MCC and other gathering places, I would never have bet money on this outcome; in fact, I would have been surprised if Jay and many of us would have lived to see our 23rd year. Yet, here we are, all 73 or 74, having this opportunity to look at the Life of one of our own WELL LIVED BY ANYONE'S STANDARDS....I believe his parents are feeling much pride in how their son invested his time in all the right people, loyal friends and situations throughout his life. Jay lovingly retained a portion of that fun-wild- spirited piece which Uncle Jack had bequeathed. I believe each of us, the children of our Greatest Generation Parents, has an obligation to do the same. Write a poem or a book. Take your grandchildren and great grandchildren to the Butterfly Garden; tell them about the safe and happy environment our parents created for us growing up in Muskogee during the Forties, Fifties, and Sixties. Tell them about the Freedom experienced in childhood leading us boldly into mysterious unknown territories alongside the roads we've traveled to date. Please remember to tell them about the social changes which occurred during our young lives; then, help them to understand the sadness and fear felt by our age-mates of color who had previously been forbidden to enter our schools, movie theaters, forbidden to drink at our "white only" water fountains. Take those yougsters to all of the vacant lots where our education began and ended; take them by Manual Training High School as you tell the stories about the amazing MTHS band, drum major and band director we all admired. Show them Honor Heights Park; encourage them to run up and down the waterfall's rocky steps and share hot dogs at Chet's while you still have time. Share the meaning of REUNION as you look once again at our photos and explain how good friends can last a lifetime...Roger, you and Jay are amazing examples of what is possible. Show those coming behind us the pictures (dont forget to label them with names and dates) we cherish and the Chieftan Yearbooks as you point to faces of those who made and are still making beautiful contributions in our lives ...try to explain what it is like to cherish a true friend to the very end of Life. Leave a Legacy as great and as good as Jay's. It will alert them to what may be needed on the long roads ahead in their own lives. I confess, I had NO IDEA of the strength required; the foregiveness needed; the heavy sorrow, shame and responsibility that demanded to be carried on my own weak shoulders and made possible only with the constant support of my children, my dear dear classmates, and God's Grace.
At 430pm today I will make myself a dirty martini then drink a toast to our classmate Jay who with his mother, father, Judy Sue, his Uncle Jack and Aunt Audrie, Betty and Bob Brown, will, if there is a bar in heaven (forgiveness please), join me in a grand SALUTE TO THE LIFE OF JAY "ROWDY" ROUSEK ! Then, another toast, this one to Roger, I will add a big THANK YOU along with a boatload of our Love. FOR DELYNDA, NICHOL, CHAD AND ALL OF THE FAMILY, I WILL ACKNOWLEDGE OUR DEEPEST GRATITUDE and SORROW AS LOVE IS SENT TO EACH FROM OUR MUSKOGEE CENTRAL HIGH SCHOOL CLASS OF 1961.
SALUTE !!
WE HAD A GOOD TIME, DIDNT WE...................................
Jay and Sammy Bradley doing the Gator at Jay's daughter Nicole's wedding in front of 300 strangers.This is actually the encore. Nicole loved it so much she requested another performance. Jay and I had just enough drinks that we were happy to oblige the bride. What great fun we had! What a great guy! Will miss him dearly.
I've never been more moved by a memory piece than by this one written by Judy Kay Wilson (Synar)! It epitomizes the warmth of friendship, shared history, kind hearts, understanding of what life is about, even as we begin to fully know what it means to reach the end - or help a good friend reach the end. It's also a good example of total acceptance as our pals have to re-design the patterns of their lives and choose new partners as they continue down this road. I expect to re-read this memoir periodically. Thanks for showing us, again, the depths of love and friendships that grew from our early years in Muskogee.
I have always wanted to know more about Jay's father; then, today, I found a couple of pics and a little bio. Jay Sr. was a much decorated pilot.
Pic taken on 8 june 1943 in New Guinea when he was 43rd BG 403rd BS CO (from fold3 website)
killed in the crash of TB-26C Marauder 42-43350 on sept 3rd, 1944 at Harvard, Nebraska
Birth:
Dec. 14, 1915
Oklahoma, USA
Death:
Sep. 3, 1944
Harvard
Clay County
Nebraska, USA
Jay P Rousek - Sooner Magazine - Oct 1944
Deaths in Service
Lt. Col. Jay P. Rousek, '35-'37, Muskogee,
veteran of the New Guinea aerial
campaign, was killed September 3 in the
crash of an Army bomber shortly after it
took off from the Army Air Field at Harvard,
Nebraska, en route to Newark, New
Jersey . Nine persons were killed in the
crash.
Colonel Rousek held an accumulation
of decorations including the Distinguished
Flying Cross, the Silver Star, the Order of
the Purple Heart and the Air Medal. He
went to the Southwest Pacific in August,
1942, from Central America, where he
BACK To BATTLE
After a leave at home, Lt. Col. Hal
Muldrow, '28bus, returned to duty
with the 45th Division now fighting
in Europe .
was stationed after receiving his commission
at Kelly Field, Texas.
Survivors include his parents, Mr. and
Mrs. J. A. Rousek, Muskogee, his wife
and a small son, Jay, Jr .
Group portrait of Captain Jay P Rousek's crew of 'Taxpayer's Pride', a Boeing B-17-F Flying Fortress aircraft of the USAAF. Identified from left to right: back row: 2nd Lieutenant (2/Lt) Walter J Lucien, bombardier; 1st Lieutenant Roy K Duffee, navigator; 2/Lt Vernon A Strawser, co-pilot; Captain Jay P Rousek, pilot. Front row: Private (Pte) Ralph H Thomas, assistant engineer; Sergeant (Sgt) Alton D Leaman, tail gunner; Sgt Styles N Mills, Radio operator; Sgt Frank P Hohmann, Aero engineer; Pte Fred E McGlothlin, assistant radio operator. This crew collected the new aircraft from the Sacramento Air Depot and flew the aircraft to Australia, replacing a non-performing propeller control with a plumbing pipe fitting because the new part was not immediately available.
____________
Jay, Jr., finally, we know a little more about the man who would have raised you had he lived.
Judy Kay Wilson (Synar)
Judy Kay Wilson (Synar)
JAY "ROWDY" ROUSEK: THE BOY WHO BECAME A MAN
Watching Jay and Judy's last dance at our 30th Central High School Reunion, I knew it was The Last. I found myself locked in a stare noticing his posture and the love embracing our dear Judy Sue who by that time could not make conversation nor remember most our names but she had some sparkle left in her laughing eyes, could still gift us with that incredible smile and share her famously contagious giggle with classmates who had grown up with her beginning with nursery school and Sunday school when we were two or three years old, first becoming cognizant of each other. WE knew what was ahead but we had no idea how long that sorrowful road would be. It was gut wrenching yet a blessing to see her dancing with her loving husband one last time.
We, who were back here in Oklahoma, heard of Jay's strength and attention at her bedside in Houston where they had made their home; as the years slowly crawled by, we wondered how he was able to watch our beautiful Judy Sue fade away so slowly, leaving him and us with not a trace of that infectious smile or giggle..she had no evidence of a memory. We worried about Jay. We wondered what this long mournful vigil would do to him?
Several years ago, we heard about a woman, a nurse named DeLynda, who was full of sunshine, love, and new energy coming into that desolate room attending to Judy's medical needs and lending support to Jay; she was making all of the sorrow and darkness begin to leave! As the many many years slowly passed , twenty and more, we heard about how THE LOVE OF TWO was able to give the best quality of care to our Judy who by then had no conscious quality of life..that raw hard fact caused us to love Jay and DeLynda even more. As those years of loving vigil and care continued, we were comforted to hear of a renewal in Jay's spirit. We knew Roger was close by; that always reassured us. When our Judy passed, we felt sorrow and a good measure of relief. We most of all felt deep deep gratitude for Jay and De Lynda who together had accomplished the impossible with flying colors fully deserved by our beloved Judy Sue Brown. How incredible that out of the "dark agonizing impossible, more beauty than could be imagined had grown." A new Love continued to strengthen showing all signs of a Miracle. It wasnt a "young love" rather a sacred abiding Love wrapped in Wisdom to be recognized, admired, and respected by friends and family, all.
When Jay brought DeLynda to our 50th Reunion, along with Roger and Mary standing alongside as testament to the Quality of their relationship, we instantly fell in love with the shiny Nightingale-butterfly full of grace and energy; we saw the respect in his gaze as it fell upon her so gently; we loved DeLynda instantly. Our understanding, for that of which before we'd only heard, was made complete. Admiration for what these two were passing through had increased in great measure.... then, to see them coming out from that long daily dying bedside vigil for so so many years to share time with us and wearing a visible measure of joy and strength ....WE knew the relationship was a blessing for all. WE rejoiced with them; we rejoiced with Roger and Mary.
Shortly after our 50th Reunion, I had "friended" DeLynda on facebook; over the weeks, months, and years that followed, I saw her strong family, the Love they shared with our Jay; likewise, his family shared their Love and support with DeLynda's; it was all better than good. When their marriage was announced, I had only images of great celebrations, family gatherings, and years of Joy ahead, for both. Oh my goodness, Mr. and Mrs. Jay Rousek at our 55th Class of '61 Reunion! Again, we were inspired by their devotion and respect for each other. We took photographs, videos, and mental pictures so we could continue to enjoy the Joy long after their return to Texas. And, we believed they had Judy Sue's complete agreement in the union. I found myself, once again, staring at Jay...this time dancing with DeLynda...noticing a complete Man of quiet Wisdom who I first knew as a boy then as a rather exuberant young man at Central High School and other places where we hung out in Muskogee, some of which included the awesome company of his Uncle Jack Summers who taught us how to kick the moon into multiple orbits simultaneously! I never in those halcyon days considered that we children might grow up to be "something."...we were so full of ourselves and our pleasures.
Joe B.'s leaving put all of us on notice about our own mortality. Then, as I sat in the pew at Ragsdale's funeral, I saw Men, who I had known previously only as boys, carrying their friend upon strong broad shoulders then placing him in front of the alter. Suddenly, I realized a growth in depth of character and strength had been taking place..they were no longer boys...They were The Men of The Class of '61. Many of our parents by that time were gone... THE MEN AND WOMEN OF THE GREATEST GENERATION...our "boys" had become Men like their fathers; we were making our parents smile. Next to leave was Rafter whose core was exposed when we read the memorable eulogy he wrote for Joe B.. We witnessed Rafto's courage and faith as he struggled with health issues valiantly trying to hold onto Life in a steady spirit of his best cheer. These remembrances were brought back to the surface of my consciousness last Saturday when a dear trusted friend called me: "Jay is dead."
I have had only four days to consider what has happened before my very eyes over the last three decades. God yanked my chain twice to take notice (photos above and below), interestingly both times at Reunions...hopefully, He finally got my full attention on the second chain yanking which has come with a beautiful understanding.......
Jay "Rowdy" Rousek is the epitome of what/how a boy given critical circumstances, Life opportunities, then making the correct investments (not money) can become a Man. His life events took him from a fatherless boyhood in Texas then to a rough and dusty ranch in The Muscogee Creek Nation of Oklahoma then to 12th Street, through a period of Youth's unbridled recklessness, then finally growing slowly, happily, and painfully into a Manhood of Wisdom, Fatherhood, becoming a Good Husband, a sensitive Grandfather (who told Nichol's children about what it was like back-in-our-day), Loyal Friend to Roger Stebbins, and Successful Businessman. When I think in reverse to those wild times of my youth at MCC and other gathering places, I would never have bet money on this outcome; in fact, I would have been surprised if Jay and many of us would have lived to see our 23rd year. Yet, here we are, all 73 or 74, having this opportunity to look at the Life of one of our own WELL LIVED BY ANYONE'S STANDARDS....I believe his parents are feeling much pride in how their son invested his time in all the right people, loyal friends and situations throughout his life. Jay lovingly retained a portion of that fun-wild- spirited piece which Uncle Jack had bequeathed. I believe each of us, the children of our Greatest Generation Parents, has an obligation to do the same. Write a poem or a book. Take your grandchildren and great grandchildren to the Butterfly Garden; tell them about the safe and happy environment our parents created for us growing up in Muskogee during the Forties, Fifties, and Sixties. Tell them about the Freedom experienced in childhood leading us boldly into mysterious unknown territories alongside the roads we've traveled to date. Please remember to tell them about the social changes which occurred during our young lives; then, help them to understand the sadness and fear felt by our age-mates of color who had previously been forbidden to enter our schools, movie theaters, forbidden to drink at our "white only" water fountains. Take those yougsters to all of the vacant lots where our education began and ended; take them by Manual Training High School as you tell the stories about the amazing MTHS band, drum major and band director we all admired. Show them Honor Heights Park; encourage them to run up and down the waterfall's rocky steps and share hot dogs at Chet's while you still have time. Share the meaning of REUNION as you look once again at our photos and explain how good friends can last a lifetime...Roger, you and Jay are amazing examples of what is possible. Show those coming behind us the pictures (dont forget to label them with names and dates) we cherish and the Chieftan Yearbooks as you point to faces of those who made and are still making beautiful contributions in our lives ...try to explain what it is like to cherish a true friend to the very end of Life. Leave a Legacy as great and as good as Jay's. It will alert them to what may be needed on the long roads ahead in their own lives. I confess, I had NO IDEA of the strength required; the foregiveness needed; the heavy sorrow, shame and responsibility that demanded to be carried on my own weak shoulders and made possible only with the constant support of my children, my dear dear classmates, and God's Grace.
At 430pm today I will make myself a dirty martini then drink a toast to our classmate Jay who with his mother, father, Judy Sue, his Uncle Jack and Aunt Audrie, Betty and Bob Brown, will, if there is a bar in heaven (forgiveness please), join me in a grand SALUTE TO THE LIFE OF JAY "ROWDY" ROUSEK ! Then, another toast, this one to Roger, I will add a big THANK YOU along with a boatload of our Love. FOR DELYNDA, NICHOL, CHAD AND ALL OF THE FAMILY, I WILL ACKNOWLEDGE OUR DEEPEST GRATITUDE and SORROW AS LOVE IS SENT TO EACH FROM OUR MUSKOGEE CENTRAL HIGH SCHOOL CLASS OF 1961.
SALUTE !!
WE HAD A GOOD TIME, DIDNT WE...................................
Judy Kay Wilson (Synar)
Harriet Daniel (Leake)
A simply beautiful memorial which encapsulates the truth of all our lives. Thank you, JK.
Sam (Sammy) Bradley
Jay and Sammy Bradley doing the Gator at Jay's daughter Nicole's wedding in front of 300 strangers.This is actually the encore. Nicole loved it so much she requested another performance. Jay and I had just enough drinks that we were happy to oblige the bride. What great fun we had! What a great guy! Will miss him dearly.
Judy Kay Wilson (Synar)
Priceless, Sammy! Thanks for sharing. I've seen a few of our "boys" knee-walking after a long night, but never in tuxedos.
ciao
judy kay
Margaret Clements (Edie)
I've never been more moved by a memory piece than by this one written by Judy Kay Wilson (Synar)! It epitomizes the warmth of friendship, shared history, kind hearts, understanding of what life is about, even as we begin to fully know what it means to reach the end - or help a good friend reach the end. It's also a good example of total acceptance as our pals have to re-design the patterns of their lives and choose new partners as they continue down this road. I expect to re-read this memoir periodically. Thanks for showing us, again, the depths of love and friendships that grew from our early years in Muskogee.
Judy Kay Wilson (Synar)
I have always wanted to know more about Jay's father; then, today, I found a couple of pics and a little bio. Jay Sr. was a much decorated pilot.
Pic taken on 8 june 1943 in New Guinea when he was 43rd BG 403rd BS CO (from fold3 website)
killed in the crash of TB-26C Marauder 42-43350 on sept 3rd, 1944 at Harvard, Nebraska
Oklahoma, USA
Harvard
Clay County
Nebraska, USA
Deaths in Service
Lt. Col. Jay P. Rousek, '35-'37, Muskogee,
veteran of the New Guinea aerial
campaign, was killed September 3 in the
crash of an Army bomber shortly after it
took off from the Army Air Field at Harvard,
Nebraska, en route to Newark, New
Jersey . Nine persons were killed in the
crash.
Colonel Rousek held an accumulation
of decorations including the Distinguished
Flying Cross, the Silver Star, the Order of
the Purple Heart and the Air Medal. He
went to the Southwest Pacific in August,
1942, from Central America, where he
BACK To BATTLE
After a leave at home, Lt. Col. Hal
Muldrow, '28bus, returned to duty
with the 45th Division now fighting
in Europe .
was stationed after receiving his commission
at Kelly Field, Texas.
Survivors include his parents, Mr. and
Mrs. J. A. Rousek, Muskogee, his wife
and a small son, Jay, Jr .
Family links:
Parents:
Jerry Arthur Rousek (1883 - 1949)
Ethel Rousek (1885 - 1969)
Jay Sr. far right back row.
Group portrait of Captain Jay P Rousek's crew of 'Taxpayer's Pride', a Boeing B-17-F Flying Fortress aircraft of the USAAF. Identified from left to right: back row: 2nd Lieutenant (2/Lt) Walter J Lucien, bombardier; 1st Lieutenant Roy K Duffee, navigator; 2/Lt Vernon A Strawser, co-pilot; Captain Jay P Rousek, pilot. Front row: Private (Pte) Ralph H Thomas, assistant engineer; Sergeant (Sgt) Alton D Leaman, tail gunner; Sgt Styles N Mills, Radio operator; Sgt Frank P Hohmann, Aero engineer; Pte Fred E McGlothlin, assistant radio operator. This crew collected the new aircraft from the Sacramento Air Depot and flew the aircraft to Australia, replacing a non-performing propeller control with a plumbing pipe fitting because the new part was not immediately available.
____________
Jay, Jr., finally, we know a little more about the man who would have raised you had he lived.