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Forum: Now that's funny

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I Laughed so Hard, I Thought I was Going to Die!

Created on: 03/18/10 12:48 PM Views: 946 Replies: 2
Jerry Lauzon
Class Of '69

Joined: 07/15/09
Posts: 41

View Profile 		Texas Gun Logic
Posted Thursday, March 18, 2010 07:48 AM

Texas Gun Logic

A woman was called in front of a Texas grand jury for possible manslaughter charges after she shot a mugger 6 times in the back as he was running away with her purse. He had grabbed the purse and ran. She had her hand on her gun in the purse when he grabbed the purse and she was left with the revolver in her hand.

When asked by the grand jury why she shot the man 6 times in the back as he was running away, she replied under oath:

"Because when I pulled the trigger the 7th time it only went click".

She was acquitted of all charges.

That's the way it is in Texas
 
 
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John Fore
Class Of '69

Joined: 07/14/09
Posts: 23

View Profile 		Cajuns
Posted Thursday, March 18, 2010 02:35 PM

Boudreaux was out in da field talkin' wit his frien Thibodeaux. Thibodeaux said "Boudreaux , you see
dat ole barn out dere? Well man, its completely infestered wit rats. I tried everything I know an can't get rid of dem."

Boudreaux say, "Thibodeaux, I know xactly how to get rid of dem rats. You gotta get you one of dem bull constriptors." Thibodeaux say, Whats a bull constriptor?". Boudreaux explains, "man. dats one of dem big ole snakes and he loves to eat rats and swallers dem whole, all at once".

Well, da nex day Thibodeaux went down to Kliberts reptile farm and bought him da biggest bull constripter dat dey got. He brought dat snake to da barn an let him loose right in da middle and just sat dere and watched. Well, Thibodeaux was watchin' for a long time, I mean long, an dere wasn't nuttin ' happening. Dat big ole snake jus curled up hiself in da middle of dat barn and slept all day. He didn't even move and dem rats jus run all around.

So Thibodeaux got real frustrated and he called up Boudreaux on da phone, "Boudreaux, man dats some bad advice bout dat snake.Dem rats is still runnin' al around and dat snake jus lays dere sleepin' all day long." Boudreaux says, "Man, Thibodeaux, I know just what to do. Give dat snake
some Viagra." Thibodeaux say, "What! Viagra! What's dat gonna do?" Boudreaux say,"I was just listening to da radio and de man say dat Viagra is da best ting to use for a reptile dysfunction."


 
 
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John Fore
Class Of '69

Joined: 07/14/09
Posts: 23

View Profile 		Gotta love the irish.
Posted Thursday, March 18, 2010 03:27 PM
Patton staggered home very late after another evening with his drinking buddy, Paddy.   He took off his shoes to avoid waking his wife, Kathleen. 

He tiptoed as quietly as he could toward the stairs leading to their upstairs bedroom, but misjudged the bottom step.   As he caught himself by grabbing the banister, his body swung around and he landed heavily on his rump.   A whiskey bottle in each back pocket broke and made the landing especially painful.. 

Managing not to yell, Patton sprung up, pulled down his pants, and looked in the hall mirror to see that his butt cheeks were cut and bleeding.   He managed to quietly find a full box of Band-Aids and began putting a Band-Aid as best he could on each place he saw blood.

He then hid the now almost empty Band-Aid box and shuffled and stumbled his way to bed. 

In the morning, Patton woke up with searing pain in both his head and butt and Kathleen staring at him from across the room. 


She said, 'You were drunk again last night weren't you?'


Patton said, 'Why you say such a mean thing?'


'Well,' Kathleen said, 'it could be the open front door, it could be the broken glass at the bottom of the stairs, it could be the drops of blood trailing through the house, it could be your bloodshot eyes, but mostly ...... it's all those Band-Aids stuck on the hall mirror.
 
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