Steve De Pangher

Posted on: Sep 20, 2023 at 4:33 AM

Thanks for posting this, Christy. Nancy is such strong part of my "mental furniture" about Jordan and Paly. Thanks for honoring her by sharing the memories of your long friendship.

Posted on: Aug 22, 2023 at 8:59 PM

Hey Marc!
I found two old photos after the reunion that I wanted to share with you. Both are you and me (and the one from Jordan with Dan Boyett) running the hurdles.
It was great to see you at the reunion!
Steve
P.S. And no, I'm not sharing them because I was ahead of you! Carl Florant has taught me far too much humility for that!

Hi Greg and Sue,
Was looking through an old album after the reunion and found this. Thought you might get a kick out of it. I wish I'd had more time with you at the reunion. But the handshake and hug did me good!
Many blessings,
Steve

Posted on: Aug 02, 2023 at 6:13 PM

My apologies for the length and lateness of this comment. It's been a long time brewing.

Sometime early in 2009 Ted and I reconnected via FaceBook. We'd been very good friends in our years at Jordan but drifted apart in our high school years at Paly. We didn't communicate at all (that I can recall or have records of) from 1973 until our FaceBook connection in 2009. Reconnecting after at least 35 years of radio silence was surprisingly easy. Besides Ted's enthusiastic and welcoming words, I think we also found it easy to establish rapport because of his experience in Ukraine and mine in Romania. Whatever the case, it was encouraging see how Ted had clearly "found something" in Ukraine.

Over the next 7 years or so we periodically exchanged letters, some long and reflective and others short - the latter usually being ones which Ted would send after a bout of ill health when he could do very little but stay alive. His reflections on our days at Jordan and Paly were hilarious and insightful. One of the reasons I delayed posting these comments is that his reflections that are relevant to Jordan and Paly days were often very personal  - both about him and the persons he wrote about. I felt like this stuff was private and that he wouldn't have wanted me to share it. But some of the experiences just he and I had together seemed perfectly okay to share. I have chosen one. The context is a Hicks family vacation that I was invited to join. Something like a one-day flu struck me. I went to lie down after a wonderful dinner (Ted refers to this very differently!) made by Mrs. Hicks. She came into where I was laying down and asked how I was doing. Afraid that I might be nauseous, she suggested that I change where I was lying down to be closer to the bathroom. Unbelievably, I tried to answer that I was fine. On that cue, I managed to lay down a stripe of barf on my sleeping bag as I tried to make my way to the bathroom. Pretty embarrassing. Ted's letter takes it from there:

Not long ago my mom sent me a few CD's she'd had made up of a lot of old family photos. Well .... lo and behold .... there we were in all our 14 year old glory. I don't know if you remember this trip to Blue Lake with my family, but I sure do. You, unfortunately, had a bout with the flu or perhaps my mom poisoned you with some "hamburger casserole." The cause of this memorable event is not nearly as important as the outcome. Do you remember what came next? I'll remimd you just to put a smile on your face and mine. You were feeling much better the next morning after a good night's sleep . But just to remind the world of what had come up the might before, there was a green been stuck between your toes. It was, of course, the kind of event that just etches itself forever into the mind of an adolescent. Well, at least it burned itself into my brain forever. It still cracks me up to be honest. So I figured at least you deserved a photo to remind you that there was more than a stomach turning night and a green bean morning to the adventure. It was a great time.

Ted closed this letter with this picture. Don't worry, viewers, my toes aren't visible.

In 2015, in the last letter I wrote to Ted, I closed with these words:

In a direct sense, we don’t get the chance to live over again the “mistakes” that we’ve made in life. But, indirectly, maybe we do. I’m not 100% sure I know what I mean by this. I look back on our youthful shared adventures and I’m glad we had them. As a parent, I would probably have simply freaked out if I knew that my kids were doing what I did in those days! How unfair! And yet, God has put me in a place today wherein I can interact with hundreds of kids, aged 5-18, that I can try to offer some of the learning I’ve had from the mistakes and silliness of my past. This gift is priceless to me. After many years of working in jobs that I hated (high tech mostly), I am now doing something that I can’t believe I get paid for doing. (Have I already shared this with you?) What I’m saying is that I’m glad we managed to forge some wonderful memories together and, not by chance, the fondest memories seem to be those that are somewhat “on the edge” of responsibility and respectability. By the grace of God, we got to have some great fun together and it is a blessed thing. I don’t understand how the blessing works, but it does. I don’t know that it all fits neatly into the theology I hold to be true, but I don’t have worry too much about it. That too is a gift.

“Old friendships” aren’t replaceable. Thanks for sharing this precious gift with me.

When you can manage writing back, please do. But I don’t want you to feel any sense of duty. I treasure the gift of these communications and the memories they bring, even to us two “old men” who are having trouble remembering virtually anything!

I learned that Ted passed away when I received a note from Natalia, Ted's wife. She shared that Ted was grateful that he and I had reconnected after so many years. I am too. And it is tribute Ted, through all the highs and lows he went through, that he kept learning and growing, He had much to look back on with regret and I understand from others that the regret he felt was valid. What I received from Ted was only warmth, humor, and the reforging of a friendship, even if at a distance. He taught me some valuable things in our distance communications, things that I still don't fully understand. I am grateful for Ted and remember him with fondness and joy.

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