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Michael J. Murphy
Riverside-Brookfield Class of 88 Members Find a Solution to a Problem that has Baffled Police and Community Leaders for Decades.
Former Riverside-Brookfield Alumni from the Class of 88 serve the district during their clean up efforts which supported the new Anti-toilet papering initiative recently passed by the school board after hearing rumors that students this Homecoming year were not only targeting fellow students, but the homes of RB alumni who graduated as far back as 1988. The team sacrificed valuable time with both family and former classmates this reunion weekend as they reportedly patrolled the streets into the late night and early morning hours to ensure that no families would have to wake up to the terror experienced by thousands in the area who have woken up in past years as victims to the hideous toilet papering crimes. Members of the volunteer prevention and clean up crew are being praised by school officials who stated that "without this community leadership role and the clean up efforts, climbing statistics and local area toilet paper sales indicate that the crimes this year would have made former Homecoming pranks pale in comparison." All members of the crew wish to remain anonymous as the teams spokesperson stated, "our work is not about honor or recognition, but about a valuable service that we can provide to the communities in which we were raised. Any attention to us as individuals would take away from our solution to a major problem that has plaqued our community for years." Another member of the volunteer team said, "in the immediate area, we have seen toilet paper sales spike over 23 percent in the last week. While our work is primarily about preserving the beauty of our towns, based on bathroom statistics, the toilet paper purchased for TPing efforts could have been used for an average of over 17 bathroom visits per household. This, of course, has tremendous environmental and hygenic implications." Without going into too many details, he went on to say, "we are obviously looking at some very serious family and social problems." This was the first year of the new efforts and appears to have been a great success as only 2 homes in the area had awakened to the terror of seeing toilet paper in their trees. The group has assured the community that they would further their philanthropic efforts and promised that they will not rest until all of those involved in the toilet papering schemes of this year are brought to justice.
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