Katy Cunningham

I moved to Katy, TX after I graduated SMS in 1984, just for the irony of the same name thing. I was accepted into training academy in Houston and became a Texas Ranger for 10 years, but developed a back problem from the way that the weight of the Desert Eagle on my hip caused me to adapt my walk.

In occupational therapy, I met another patient who introduced me to pole dancing, which I really took to, so much so that I quit the Rangers and became a pole dancer full-time for 7 years.

But that pole can lift you up or it can bring you down, and I gave it up to come back home and raise my boys according to the personal philosophy I was developing--"Let your conscience be your guide"(I got that from a movie.) After a year of working that rule hard I realized in a blinding epiphany (during which a blue pearl of shimmering light came out of my mouth and hovered above my head, catching the attention of the other Mexican Villa patrons) that one directive to these boys was all they'd ever need--"Always do what would make Mama happiest." Those boys have never let me down.

I've changed my name a couple of times, but never will again. As for my back, the sidearm and the pole have ruined it forever. But it was a glorious way to go.

I broke Mr Vahldick's paddle on a heinous little sophomore named John Kane on my very last day of school. He needed a POB (Paddle On Butt) more than anyone in that class, but hadn't been caught by Mr. V. and I was handing out justice myself. Actually, he'd been bugging me all semester. Unfortunately, the little weasel saw me coming and sat down, so I caught part of the chair seat when I swung the paddle. It split right down the middle. I handed the pieces to Mr. Vahldick and ran down the hallway laughing. I think this may have led to my interest in law enforcement.