I first met Tara in eighth grade after moving from Rumson to Fair Haven. It didn't take long for me to consider her my best friend. She was such a nice person, and a bit quiet and shy like I was back then, so it was easy to like her from the start. She was extremely smart, and had a really funny sense of humor! I always thought she was such a good artist too. Throughout high school, we had a lot of fun hanging out. We shared a lot of confidences, and I trusted her implicitly. She never hesitated to lend a helping hand if you needed it or a sympathetic ear.
After high school, Tara served in the US Navy for four years, and was involved in Desert Shield in Iraq. We kept in contact the best we could during those years. Towards the end of her career in the service, I noticed that she had changed some, having become a little more openly religious, beyond that of her Baptist upbringing. I soon learned that she considered herself a born again Christian, and she spoke to me often about her beliefs. Being the atheist that I am, it made for some lively conversation between the two of us! But it never came in the way of our friendship - - we simply agreed to disagree on certain topics! :)
Her family relocated to Georgia while Tara was in the service, so when she got out, she didn't return to New Jersey, except to visit from time to time over the years. It was during one of these visits when she came to stay with me for a little while that I learned from her family that Tara was suffering from mental illness. It was terrible news, and I kept it to myself, hoping that Tara would open up and tell me herself. She never did, so it was an unfortunate secret between the two of us. In retrospect, I wish I had told her that I knew so that she would realize that it wouldn't interfere with our friendship and that she could talk to me about it if she wanted to. Keeping that secret caused a regrettable divide, and slowly the two of us spoke and wrote to each other less and less, eventually resorting to yearly Christmas cards to stay in touch.
In the memorial written by her family for Tara's funeral service, they wrote of her illness: "After she was diagnosed, she refused treatment at first, but then slowly realized that it might help her after all. For three years she did well, but, as often happens with mental illness, she felt so good that she no longer saw a need for her medications, so she gradually quit taking them and refused all medical help. During the last six months of her life, she withdrew from friends and family and lived in her own private world. She still clung to her faith and believed that God would protect her and take care of her (read Psalm 143)."
Sadly, Tara chose to take her own life on November 18, 2006. If you wish to make a donation in memory of Tara or are looking for information on mental health illnesses, visit the website of NARSAD, "the world's leading charity dedicated to mental health research," at www.narsad.org.
It was very hard to hear from Mary that Tara had died- she was (and is) one of my very best friends. I have known her since the 4th grade. Tara was such a multi-talented person! I remember her as being an AMAZING flute and also piccalo player- she was first string way back during our years at Knollwood School. I always knew that I was in the right key with Tara right next to me either in band, or in chorus! I also remember Tara as being such a strong person! She was such a fast runner and had such a great sense of humor during sporting events in school..so we were not always the most athletic person in EVERY sport! I also remember Tara as having such a great laugh..I actually can still hear her right now..whenever she started laughing, the only thing I could do was join in, it was always so hysterical! I have wanted to share my thoughts regarding Tara ever since this webpage was initiated but, I guess that a part of me was still in denial that I would be talking about Tara, that she is no longer around.. Both Mary and I wanted to have something here for Tara, and for her memory. I believe that we did just that. Thank you all for reading about Tara and for remembering her.
Laura - - speaking about how strong Tara was, does anyone else besides me remember the throwing arm she had?! She could throw a baseball all the way from the back of the field at Knollwood School almost up to the back doors of the school!
Mary Gardner (Person)
I first met Tara in eighth grade after moving from Rumson to Fair Haven. It didn't take long for me to consider her my best friend. She was such a nice person, and a bit quiet and shy like I was back then, so it was easy to like her from the start. She was extremely smart, and had a really funny sense of humor! I always thought she was such a good artist too. Throughout high school, we had a lot of fun hanging out. We shared a lot of confidences, and I trusted her implicitly. She never hesitated to lend a helping hand if you needed it or a sympathetic ear.After high school, Tara served in the US Navy for four years, and was involved in Desert Shield in Iraq. We kept in contact the best we could during those years. Towards the end of her career in the service, I noticed that she had changed some, having become a little more openly religious, beyond that of her Baptist upbringing. I soon learned that she considered herself a born again Christian, and she spoke to me often about her beliefs. Being the atheist that I am, it made for some lively conversation between the two of us! But it never came in the way of our friendship - - we simply agreed to disagree on certain topics! :)
Her family relocated to Georgia while Tara was in the service, so when she got out, she didn't return to New Jersey, except to visit from time to time over the years. It was during one of these visits when she came to stay with me for a little while that I learned from her family that Tara was suffering from mental illness. It was terrible news, and I kept it to myself, hoping that Tara would open up and tell me herself. She never did, so it was an unfortunate secret between the two of us. In retrospect, I wish I had told her that I knew so that she would realize that it wouldn't interfere with our friendship and that she could talk to me about it if she wanted to. Keeping that secret caused a regrettable divide, and slowly the two of us spoke and wrote to each other less and less, eventually resorting to yearly Christmas cards to stay in touch.
In the memorial written by her family for Tara's funeral service, they wrote of her illness: "After she was diagnosed, she refused treatment at first, but then slowly realized that it might help her after all. For three years she did well, but, as often happens with mental illness, she felt so good that she no longer saw a need for her medications, so she gradually quit taking them and refused all medical help. During the last six months of her life, she withdrew from friends and family and lived in her own private world. She still clung to her faith and believed that God would protect her and take care of her (read Psalm 143)."
Sadly, Tara chose to take her own life on November 18, 2006. If you wish to make a donation in memory of Tara or are looking for information on mental health illnesses, visit the website of NARSAD, "the world's leading charity dedicated to mental health research," at www.narsad.org.
Kimberley Matches (Scherer)
What a nice memory of Tara! She was always a nice and kind person to me in my years at RFH-I will always remember her like that-Thank you Mary..Laura Zakanych
It was very hard to hear from Mary that Tara had died- she was (and is) one of my very best friends. I have known her since the 4th grade.Tara was such a multi-talented person! I remember her as being an AMAZING flute and also piccalo player- she was first string way back during our years at Knollwood School. I always knew that I was in the right key with Tara right next to me either in band, or in chorus!
I also remember Tara as being such a strong person! She was such a fast runner and had such a great sense of humor during sporting events in school..so we were not always the most athletic person in EVERY sport!
I also remember Tara as having such a great laugh..I actually can still hear her right now..whenever she started laughing, the only thing I could do was join in, it was always so hysterical!
I have wanted to share my thoughts regarding Tara ever since this webpage was initiated but, I guess that a part of me was still in denial that I would be talking about Tara, that she is no longer around..
Both Mary and I wanted to have something here for Tara, and for her memory. I believe that we did just that. Thank you all for reading about Tara and for remembering her.
Mary Gardner (Person)
Laura - - speaking about how strong Tara was, does anyone else besides me remember the throwing arm she had?! She could throw a baseball all the way from the back of the field at Knollwood School almost up to the back doors of the school!Laura Zakanych
Mary-Oh yes! Tara had quite a throwing arm!! And was she fast!!!! Very, very strong!! Laura