Silly Stuff

If any of this stuff offends you,
don't look at it.

 

Employee of the Month

Talk about dedication!!!
This is why "laptop" spelled backwards is "potpal".

Your grandkids will never believe these ads
from back in the day...


 

Here's why Mom told you not to play with your food.


 

 Worried About Health Care?

If you can't afford a doctor, go to an airport. You'll get a free x-ray and a breast or testicular exam. Plus, if you mention Al Qaeda, you'll get a free colonoscopy.

 

dba01f.jpg

 

 Redneck Photo Gallery

Klik thiz picher too cee moor

 Remember The Tom Swifty Jokes?
(or were they Tom Swiftly jokes?)

Many of us enjoyed the Tom Swift Junior series of science fiction novels during the early-1950's. Tom had a way of ending a sentence with an adverb such as darkly, sweetly, or some "ly" word.

Now Brother Hamman -- the best English teacher I ever had -- would probably explain that Tom also used adverbial phrases and adverbs not ending in "ly". In any case, to be a true Tom Swiftly, the adverb or phrase had to be a pun on Tom's statement.

This style was easy to parody and gave rise to thousands of jokes like these:

 

  • "Blast it! I dropped my toothpaste again," Tom said, crestfallen.
     
  • "I can't believe I ate that whole pineapple!" Tom said, dolefully.
     
  • "That's the last time I'll ever pet a lion," Tom said, offhandedly.
     
  • "I'll never sleep on the railroad tracks again!" Tom said, beside himself.
     
  • "That's the third electric shock I've gotten this week!" Tom said, revolted.
     
  • "I'm never anywhere on time," Tom related.
     
  • "I won't let a flat tire get me down," Tom said, without despair.
     
  • "That car you sold me has defective steering!" Tom said, straightforwardly.
     
  • "I've been on a diet," Tom expounded.
     
  • "I'll have to send that telegram again," Tom said, remorsefully.
     
  • "I keep banging my head on things," Tom said, bashfully.
     
  • "Look at that jailbird climb down that wall," Tom observed with condescension.
     
  • "I remember the Midwest being flatter than this," Tom explained.
     
  • "That's the third time my teacher changed my grade," Tom remarked.
     
  • "I'll have to dig another ditch around that castle," Tom sighed, remotely.
     
  • "I've lived through a lot of windstorms," Tom regaled.
     
  • "I haven't caught a fish all day!" Tom said, without debate.
     
  • "That mink coat is on wrong side out," Tom inferred.
     
  • "The answer is 3.14159," said Tom piously.
     
  • "I had lunch at McDonald's," Tom said archly.

Of course, a good many Tom Swiftly jokes were nasty (and funny), but since this is a G-rated web site...