| 04/22/09 04:13 PM |
#326
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Teresia Tracey
Not too much activity on this site anymore, but for those who did not hear Mrs. McDargh passed away last week.
Aundrea Carpenter received an email from Mrs. McDarghs children and posted it on facebook. I thought I would repost it here for the ones who don't have facebook accounts.
Friday, April 17, 2009
From: Laurel and Stuart McDargh (Peg’s daughter and son),
To all of you,
Early this morning, mom died and has journeyed into peace. She had come to a point of resolve and wanted to move on. Mom willed her body to Ohio University and is now a part of the studies and teachings of medicine. Once a teacher, always a teacher!!
Mom asked that we send her final summary of her journey with cancer to all of you. She has been so ever thankful for all of the friendships, family time, meetings, cards, meals, prayers, conversations and special time that she had with all of you and wanted to close her communications to you with the letter below. We are using her email address book to reach as many people as possible. Please forward on to those whose email we might not have.
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Dear Family and Friends,
I didn’t know when I returned from the hospital in Columbus after an emergency colonostomy in August because of a colon blockage, that I was given a max of three months to live and a minimum of three weeks.
I went on doing my thing, learning to live with the ostomy bag – which became more fascinating with each passing day, and enjoying the many cards arriving daily, from having my hair cut and colored (now you know for sure!). I should have read the clues! The cards came from people I had forgotten as well as folks I see often. And the notes were written from the heart. I looked forward to them and my doctors were recommending Hospice. And we agreed.
My sister and her husband turned around from their Airstream trailer trip west to become my care-takers during these last months. My sister, born to be a nurse, has given me wonderful care. When I first returned from Mt. Carmel she had to run a bed and breakfast as well Cousins arrived from Washington state and Houston and Santa Fe; Sheets to launder, meals to prepare. Family in Chicago and Ohio cities came in for weekend dinners. People brought food in. Everyone was helpful. We have been able to spend together our last Thanksgiving, Christmas, Fall, January and February birthdays. We have all learned to know each other better, to share our lives and activities.
So, I became an Appalachian Hospice patient. The best thing I could have done! If a friend or relative or you find yourself in a terminal situation, Hospice is the place to be. I have a nurse check on me twice a week for temp, blood pressure, emotional or physical problems, a social worker who helps with family and questions regarding service, as well as an aide who bathes me three times a week; a hospital bed, table, oxygen, walker, supplies and pills. Dr. Tracy Marx, a Hospice doctor who is trained to be supportive. It’s a wonderful service. And they have helped me keep abreast of the progress of the disease. They are wonderful, caring, helpful people and quickly became part of the family unit.
I kept feeling better except for the ostomy bag (we named “Andre”). Probably the most uncomfortable place it can be put is at the waist-line. And Andre had to be put there because I had had mesh inserted in the abdomen at the time of a hernia operation. It made it difficult to sit straight up. I learned to cope with it, but I had to adapt to holding my belly in when I sat at the table or in a chair, or had the hospital bed raised to a sit-up position. However, once the ostomy had completed forming its own hernia, some of the strain was released and I could sit and move more freely..
So – as you can see, once again I beat the odds! And here I am seven months later, writing catch-up. When the time comes, my body will start to prepare to shut down for its future as a teaching tool for Ohio University med students. When the letter of acceptance came from OU, my kids teased me; “You’ve been accepted to Med School!”
I wanted to share with you that this has been a totally wonderful learning experience – not to be feared. Family and friends and strangers have been supportive. My close family has become closer. They have been sharing and talking. How differently they see things at their different ages. Folks I never really got to know well I have been able to hold friendly conversations with, learning more about them, helping them to see the difference between being BORN into the world and being BORNE out of it. And, most of all, I am learning, too. We are teaching each other.
I hope that these notes I have been writing to you over the past several years have been of value to you, have helped you to understand more about the disease, and have helped to enable you to see the experience as one of personal growth as I have learned to accept and understand each stage, and to experience the need to allow others to be relied upon for support through their many kindnesses and prayers.
Fondly --- Peg
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