Things We Don't Hear Now

WHO REMEMBERS?

(Thanks to Fenger High School Class of 1958 in Chicago)

	I came across this phrase yesterday "fender skirts." A term I haven't heard in a long time. Thinking about 'fender skirts' started me thinking about other words that quietly disappear from our language with hardly a notice . . . . Since I'd been thinking of cars, my mind naturally went that direction first.
	Words like "curb feelers."
	And, "steering knobs." AKA: "suicide knob" and "Neckers Knobs."
	Remember "Continental kits?" They were rear bumper extenders and spare tire covers that were supposed to make any car as cool as a Lincoln Continental.
	When did we quit calling them "emergency brakes?" At some point "parking brake'"became the proper term. But, I miss the hint of drama that went with "emergency brake."
	I'm sad, too, that almost all the old folks are gone who would call the accelerator the "foot feed." Many today do not even know what a clutch is or that the dimmer switch used to be on the floor.
	Didn't you ever wait at the street for your daddy to come home so you could ride the "running board" up to the house?
	Here's a phrase I heard all the time in my youth but never anymore: "store-bought." Of course, just about everything is store-bought these days. But once it was bragging material to have a store-bought dress or a store-bought bag of candy.
	"Coast to coast" is a phrase that once held all sorts of excitement and now means almost nothing. We take the term "world wide" for granted. This floors me.
	On a smaller scale, "wall-to-wall" was once a magical term in our homes. In the '50s, everyone covered his, or her, hardwood floors with--WOW--wall-to-wall carpeting! Today, everyone replaces their wall-to-wall carpeting with hardwood floors. Go figure.
	When's the last time you heard the quaint phrase "in a family way?" It's hard to imagine that the word "pregnant" was once considered a little too graphic for use in polite company. So instead, we had all that talk about stork visits and "being in a family way" or simply "expecting."
	Apparently "brassiere" is a word no longer in usage. I said it the other day, and my daughter cracked up. I guess it's just "bra" now. "Unmentionables" probably wouldn't be understood at all.
	I always loved going to the "picture show," but I considered "movie" an affectation.
	Most of these words go back to the '50s, but here's a pure '60s word I came across the other day: "rat fink." Ooh, what a nasty put-down!
	Here's a word I miss: "percolator." That was just a fun word to say. And, what was it replaced with? "Coffee maker." How dull. Mr. Coffee, I blame you for this.
	I miss those made-up marketing words that were meant to sound so modern and now sound so retro. Words like "DynaFlow" and "Electrolux." Introducing the 1963 Admiral TV, now with "SpectraVision!"
	Food for thought: Was there a telethon that wiped out lumbago? Nobody complains of that anymore. Maybe that's what castor oil cured because I never hear mothers threatening kids with castor oil anymore.
Some words aren't gone, but are definitely on the endangered list. The one that grieves me most is "supper." Now everybody says "dinner." Save a great word. Invite someone to supper. Discuss fender skirts.

THINGS YOU DON'T HEAR ANYMORE

Be sure to refill the ice trays, we're going to have company.

Watch for the postman, I want to get this letter to Willie in the mail today. Well, actually we do say that in Shakopee.

Quit slamming the screen door when you go out!

Be sure and pull the windows down when you leave, it looks like a shower is coming up.

Don't forget to wind the clock before you go to bed.

Wash your feet before you go to bed, you've been playing outside all day barefooted.

Why can't you remember to roll up your britches legs? Getting them caught in the bicycle chain so many times is tearing them up.

You have torn the knees out of that pair of pants so many times there is nothing left to put a patch on.

Don't you go outside with your school clothes on!

Go comb your hair; it looks like the rats have nested in it all night. Have any of you seen a rat's nest? My mother often said my hair looked like one!

Be sure and pour the cream off the top of the milk when you open the new bottle.

Take that empty bottle to the store with you so you won't have to pay a deposit on another one.

Put a dish towel over the cake so the flies won't get on it.

Quit jumping on the floor! I have a cake in the oven and you are going to make it fall if you don't quit! Yes! Yes!

Let me know when the Fuller Brush man comes by, I need to get a few things from him.

You boys stay close by, the car may not start and I will need you to help push it off.

There's a dollar in my purse, get 5 gallons of gas when you go to town.

Open the back door and see if we can get a breeze through here; it is getting hot.

You can walk to the store; it won't hurt you to get some exercise.

Don't sit too close to the TV. It is hard on your eyes.

If you pull that stunt again, I am going to wear you out!

Don't lose that button; I'll sew it back on after awhile.

Get out from under the sewing machine; pumping it messes up the thread!

Be sure and fill the lamps this morning so we don't have to do that tonight in the dark.

Here, take this old magazine to the toilet with you when you go, we are almost out of paper out there.

Go out to the well and draw a bucket of water so I can wash dishes.

Don't turn the radio on now, I want the battery to be up when the Grand Ole Opry comes on.

No! I don't have 10 cents for you to go to the show. Do you think money grows on trees?

Eat those peas, they'll make you big and strong like your daddy.

That dog is NOT coming in this house! I don't care how cold it is out there, dogs don't stay in the house.

Sit still! I'm trying to get your hair cut straight and you keep moving and it is all messed up.

Hush your mouth! I don't want to hear words like that! I'll wash your mouth out with soap!

It is time for your system to be cleaned out. I am going to give you a dose of castor oil tonight.

Quit crossing your eyes! They will get stuck that way.

Be sure to hang the sign for 50 pounds since today is ice man day.!

Soak your foot in this pan of kerosene so that bad cut won't get infected.

When you take your driving test, don't forget to signal each turn. Left arm straight out the window for a left turn; left arm bent up at the elbow for a right turn; and straight down to the side of the door when you are going to stop.

It's: 'Yes Ma'am!' and 'No Ma'am!' to me, young man, and don't you forget it!

Some of these go back a little farther than our day!