Christopher J. Lopresti

I was born a poor black child. After graduation, I studied interpretive dance, but my career ended in a bizarre gardening accident. I tried my hand at gay porn, but that ended when I was rendered unable to drink hot liquids. Soon after, I became a high school English/Reading teacher. I worked at Morton East for a couple of years, LT, Neuqua, Sandburg, and now at Bloom. I never thought I would become a teacher, but it is awesome.In case you are wondering, Bill Stamper is a real prick, it wasn't a case of "I hate him" high school rebellion. He's a complete tool.

My orange mullet went the way of the dinosaur and I am now bald. That's what I get for messing around with my hair! On the upside, my testicles are longer.

I married Coach Evan's daughter. Good thing he didn't know me in H.S., or he wouldn't have let me near her. It was weird having Breck and Polz at my wedding, but it was fun and they can party, hard!

In the '80s, they had no caller I.D. so I used to call in for myself and some friends.

When I transferred, I filled all of the paperwork out, so the signature they had on reference was a forgery from me! Ha, what dumbasses!

Dion Riccardo and I used to wake and bake then stop at BK for criossanwiches.

Had my heart broken when Rob Sedivy died 9/12/86. My son's middle name is Robert in his honor.

Bill Farrar and I wore bowling shoes to graduation that we stole from Berwyn Bowl in P.E. class. Got there drunk and blew whistles until some jagoffs near us complained that we were ruining their moment of glory. God help you if graduating from Moron WE was the high point of your life.