| 09/06/08 12:05 PM |
#575
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Elizabeth Reves
Okay, I was going to stay out of this women need to stay home/ women can work argument, but I am opening my mouth...
Women and men, wives and husbands, mothers and dads, need to do what they decide is best for them and their families. It should not be dictated by what society, their friends, or their own parents think they should do. As a probation officer and as a teacher (and a friend to many families), I have watched people struggle with the choices they make about how to raise their children. (And I have seen the results of good and bad decisions.) Their families and others have shamed them into many things they did not want and misery was the end result for the parents and the children. The advise givers? Well they just go on with their own lives, unaffected.
A child pays close attention to the little world around them. They know if their parents are fighting, for example - we all know this. Well a child also knows if their primary care giver (in our society, usually the mother) is unhappy with their lot in life, and the child is the one who pays the ultimate price.
If a woman (or man) is unhappy staying at home taking care of the child (or not being able to stay home when they want to), that child not only sees it but suffers - can you imagine spending every day with a person who never smiles and is all snippy and often mean or abusive because they are so miserable? The child also grows up thinking that they must accept their lot in life and never strive for happiness. The cycle perpetuates.
If a parent is content and fulfilled with their life, the child is better balanced in their own life. They learn that to properly relate to others, they must be happy in their own life. Is this not what we want for children? Happy, well adjusted lives?
I find it unfortunate that women (or men) who want to stay home and care for their child, are often unable to for financial or other reasons. Or a parent who wants more in their life, like a career, are unable to work - often for financial reasons (daycare can cost more than a person can make in a week) Many are able to still raise happy well adjusted children, but as most of you know, hiding your emotions can be exhausting and sometimes unachievable.
The sum of this rant, is that a parent must do what is right and best for thier self, their family and their situation. If they want to go to school to be able to get a better job that they will be happy with, they should be encouraged. If they want to work outside the home, they should not be shamed. If they want to stay at home and raise kids, they should be supported (and not have to hear "ugh, I would go crazy if I had to do that). The happiness of the child is dependent on that of the parent.
As far as our VP hopeful is concerned, stop and think about it - with a mom as VP, that child will get far better care than a child with 4 stay at home moms. Her having children is a non-issue. And that she decided to have a child even though it was "not perfect"? Maybe she loved the child even though it had not yet been born and she could not kill it. Do any of you have "perfect" children? Just because they don't have a birth defect, or are considered special needs, does not preclude them from burning holes in the carpet, drawing on the walls, getting in trouble at school, or winding up in jail. You knew being a parent was going to be a challenge and you accepted it. Why should Palin be criticised for rising to the challenge of being a parent of a special needs child? At least she knew what was coming, does the more pedestrian parent know what they are going to get from their offspring?
Vote for the person who shares your goals and you think will be able to acheive those goals. Issues of gender, race, family status, and sexual orientation are in our past. Great nations have fallen throughout history, even though they smugly thought they were invincible. We need to focus on what will keep our nation great and strong.
Love you all (regardless of your particular views),
E
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