Gary Green

I've been thinking about Lorraine a lot since the news of her passing.

It seems very strange to write these words now, but I was her "boyfriend" for much of high school.  As high school couples do, we spent so much time together.  Almost every day after school, we would walk across Peekskill to her home and hang out.  One thing that I have tried to take from my time with her was her ability to look at anyone and everyone as a friend or a friend she hadn't met yet.  A large part of our relationship was her friendship with so many others.  As an immature high school kid, I was sometimes bewildered by her open attitude towards everyone, but in the years since, I have taken this from our relationship and have tried to see every new person in my life as someone to whom I could relate.

Her friendships with Donna DeChristopher and Peggy Valente and the singing that they did as a trio meant so much to her.  And her openness to all of our classmates was another part of her that I’ve kept with me.  I truly cannot recall a single negative thing that she ever said about anyone.

I also learned about losing someone close, being part of her life when her father died, a life experience that affected her so greatly.  She adored her father and missed him so terribly.

Although we tried to continue our relationship when we both left for college, as often happens, we drifted apart as we became adults and discovered who we were.  In some ways, I think this was the most important thing I learned from Lorraine-- finding out who you are and embracing the elements of your being that make you a total person.  It was such a different time then, compared to today.  So much of her path of discovery was internal and kept private.  I remember so well when she finally wrote me and told me that she had realized that she was gay, as we call it today.  But back then, it was a very different, murky, difficult thing to come to grips with.  She agonized over writing that letter, and wrote pages to try to explain.  Her biggest concern was that it would cause me to withdraw from our friendship.  It didn’t, but as often happens, time did that on its own.

Although we spoke very little over these intervening years, I thought of her often and was happy that she found a life of happiness and contentment.  Her journey helped me raise a gay son, and to be much more accepting of the differences among us.  I am a firm believer that if someone still remembers you, then you are not really gone, and I know that Lorraine lives on in my mind and the minds of my children.  Hers was truly a life well lived.

John was a great guy--not loud or flashy, just quiet and dependable.  I think I remember correctly that he was a member of the golf team, one of the few!  I'm so sorry that he's gone....