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Kimberly Marie Fotes
August 16, 1961 - May 16, 1979
"... the answer will be so clear ... "
On May 16th, 1979, the Cobblers Class of 1979 was delivered a difficult lesson about the realities of life. We were all just children back then - as was Kim. We learned that life can be so unfair and fleeting. Life can be harsh.
On June 23, 2009, Kim's mother, Vonnie, contacted the Class of '79. She and Kim's sister, Lisa, had seen Kim's Memory Page and wished to offer some additonal details. We've written those details into Kim's information, below. To Vonnie and Lisa: you have just gifted us with one more glimpse of Kim's pervasive smile.
There is no humanly possible way for Kim's '79er classmates to express their gratitude to Kim's family for contacting us. Kim was a part of our lives, too. She was our classmate and our friend. Kim was a "kid" just like us - and along with us.
This site's "In Memory" page includes several memorial tunes. The Class of '79 dedicates Alabama's "Angels Among Us" to our classmate and friend, Kim Fotes.
Above: this picture of Kim was published in the student newspaper, the Pine Needle, in December '78. Kim had been interviewed in an article regarding the Equal Rights Amendment.
Kim interviews a Rapid City retailer for her own article "Where To Go Christmas Shopping When You Don't Know What You Want" (Pine Needle, Volume 56, No. 4. December 1, 1978).
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Kim was born August 16, 1961. She learned in 1978 that she had primitive cell lymphatic cancer. Graduation became a dream for her, but she died in Denver, CO, on May 16, 1979 - just eight days before her dream would have become a reality. Kim was only 17 years old. Her death was a shock to us all, but she will be remembered by all her many friends as happy, thoughtful, friendly, intelligent, and courageous.
Kim was placed in eternal rest in Douglas, WY. She is survived by her mother, Vonnie, of Sioux Falls, SD, and her younger sister Lisa, of Ogden, UT. (June, '09)
Kim's mom offered the following:
Two days before Kim died, I was in Kim's room gently rubbing her back . I began to quietly cry and said, "Kim, if I live to be 100 I will never understand WHY this is happening." Immediately Kim replied, "Mom when you get to heaven the answer will be so clear you won't have to ask the question."
Kim's tremendous faith was a blessing and a comfort to both of us. She was very brave and even told me where she wanted to be buried and later it helped knowing I was doing what she wanted. She was buried in the family plot and her granddad visited her grave many, many times over the years. He had bought her first saddle and pony at age three and called Kim his foreman. On his 70th birthday she wrote him 70 reasons she loved him. They truly were soul mates.
When people are diagnosed with cancer, sometimes people pull back and away from that person. It's not that they don't care - it is because they don't know what to say or do, so they do nothing. I think it was especially hard for Kim's classmates. Consequently, the sick person can feel deserted at a time when they most need friendship and love.
If there is a lesson in Kim's illness, I hope it would be to reach out to an ill or dying person. A simple "I'm sorry" can bring great comfort. You aren't expected to make them well. Just offer your hand and heart. You can do it, and you might even find some joy and bring some joy to that person.
Kim said, "My God has a sense of humor." We did find humor along the way. It helped.
The news article below appeared in the Pine Needle Cobbler student newspaper on May 22, 1979:
Graduation was dream of senior cancer victim
by Mary Lindblom
(Pine Needle Staff note: This story was ready for publication when we were notified of Kim's death. We chose to print it as a tribute to her struggle.)
The honor of graduating will probably mean more to Kim Fotes than any other senior.
Early last fall, it was discovered that Kim had cancer. After treatment in Denver, she returned to Rapid City, and to her classes at Rapid City Central. Finding the regular attendance exhausting, Kim went on Homebound. It later became necessary for her to return to Denver.
Kim has been in Denver the past several months undergoing chemotherapy for cancer of the lymph system. However, through the Homebound program Kim has been able to complete the work necessary for graduation.
During her stay in Denver, Kim was at the University of Colorado Hospital and went to the AMC Cancer Research Hospital where she received THC before chemotherapy. That hospital donated playground equipment in Kim's memory and hung a plaque which read, "God gave us memory that we might have roses in December." When she was able to leave the hospital, she and her mom stayed at the Ronald McDonald House, a “home away from home” for desperately ill children and their families. Kim was recently featured in the Denver Post for her work at the McDonald House. She was described as a “delightful, beautiful teenager.”The Ronald McDonald House was founded by the famous food chain and is run by Children’s Oncology Services, Inc., a non-profit organization.
The former duplex was bought by McDonalds with money from the Shamrock Shake campaigns, and was donated to Oncology Services, Inc., for five dollars a night, where families can find a place to sleep, shower, and cook their own meals.
The house guests keep their own rooms in order, shop for groceries, cook meals for their families in the kitchens, do the laundry, and take care of their children. The house creates a home-like atmosphere for the children, which can be beneficial in lessening the fright of a hospital or a chemotherapy experience. It also helps parents to see how their children are doing and to gain support from other families caught in the same experience.
Kim has become good friends with the house manager, and she helps by taking care of the manager’s two younger sons.
The Denver house is the third such home in operation in the United States. The others are in Philadelphia and Chicago, while similar houses are being planned for other cities.
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Cheryl Wilcox (Trobec)
It is humbling to me even now that in my lifetime I've realized that some of my briefest interactions with others have provided me with some of the most profound moments of my life. My memories of Kim are bittersweet for me. I was working at Sweetbriar (woman's clothing shop) part time for the holiday season in 1978 (even then the holiday season was October through January) and while at Sweetbriar's I was just beginning to discover my love of fashion. I remember Kim coming into the store and we began to talk - I sensed she needed someone to listen to her and communicate with her as a fellow student, (not as someone who was "sick"). Kim shared with me her dream of becoming a lawyer and I remember thinking to myself what an intelligent, compassionate girl she is, and if truth be told I was feeling a bit inadequate around her. Goodness and light emitted from her when she was around you, and somehow, just by interacting with her, she made you want to be a better version of yourself. I will confess to some initial feelings of unease (as I was fortunate at that stage of my life to have never lost anyone I was close to) and Kim was my first encounter with someone gravely ill. I recall Kim's openness about her cancer during our initial conversation and how her openness made such a lasting impression on me. For the first time in my life I was faced with the very real fact that my lifetime was finite, that I wasn't indestructible. It was undoubtedly daunting for Kim to realize her own mortality and to deal with such heavy burdens so early in life (she worried for her Mom). I found this realization of my own mortality to be the foundation for the rest of my life, the knowledge that one does indeed have limited time on earth and to use it well. It is a gift Kim gave me our senior year and I will always be grateful to her for that. Kim came into the store several more times (during my seasonal employment there) and I can pull those visits out of my memory with surprising clarity. Once she was looking for a dress for an event, full of excitement, hope for her future and life's never ending possibilities. Another visit we celebrated because her eye lashes were growing back in and she had regained the rosy color in her checks (and for a girl that had suffered the ravages and indignities of cancer treatments those small victories were especially important). I remember looking at her while we were chatting, Kim with her beautiful big eyes, and thinking to myself surely she would beat cancer, surely the universe would not deprive us of someone who is so compassionate and passionate about life. Kim simply had so much to offer this world and to be around her was to know she was someone who had the capacity to make a real difference in this world. Kim's last visit to the shop was when she told me her cancer had come back, yet she faced her fate with her fear in check and had readjusted her dreams to simply wanting to be able to graduate with her class. For many years the unfairness of life, the fact that she was not able to graduate with us, that she passed only a few days before our graduation, haunted me. That is until one day, years later, the realization came to me that Kim was there with us in spirit all along, she simply didn't require the wheelchair ramp any longer, she was soaring free.Kris Schneider
I'm Kim's sister, Lisa. My mom and I would like to say thank you, Jay and Cheryl, for your kind, warm and loving memories of Kim. She was indeed an amazing person.It's strange to think that she passed away just over 30 years ago. That makes your words so special, knowing that people still remember her all these years later.
Thank you both for the gift.
Patricia Vail (Miller)
Kim and I were in Sharps together and I hated the fact that she was always perfectly dressed and coifed. I learned about the real Kim when we were peer counselors junior year. She was just as insecure and anxious about the future as we all were. Kim was a loving person who helped me see that you can't judge by what you see with your eyes but what you see with your heart. Kim, your future was cut too short, but I look forward to the day we all walk together with the Lord.Deniz Williams (Blankenfeld)
I had such a hard time when Kim was ill and going through Chemotherapy as my father had just lost his battle with the same disease. Kim was so calm and kind in the midst of her trial. I remember working on a science project together and her confidence in what we were doing was amazing. I have thought of her so often through the years and truly felt those of us left "living" were the real losers.Dave Johnson
Kim could not carry a conversation without a smile or a laugh. It was the way she was. When she was forced to be silent, she could still smile and laugh just with her eyes. Kim is a part of my deepest, pleasant memories.Who can forget the tremor that shook the building when Kim's death was announced on the PA system? My English class fell silent; nobody could speak. Rapid City Central High School was instantly hushed.
The silence was finally broken when, outside my classroom, I heard someone crying. Can't forget it.
Pamela Booth (Adamson)
I didn't know Kim very well, however reading what her mother added to the page has ripped my heart apart. As a mom and grandma, I truly hope that God shines upon me and I never have to say goodbye to one of my children before it's my turn to go live with Him.Rest comfortably Kim one day we'll all be there with you, but until then please watch over us all.
JoAnn Watkins (Strommen)
Thank you Vonnie & Lisa. Kim is always a part of my HS memories - time spent in classes together, working on the Pine Needle and just hanging out in the cafeteria. Kim's smile was contagious and she always served as a model for kindness, love and joy. Yes, it's hard to believe she has 30 years on us already walking the golden streets of heaven, fellowshipping with our awesome God.Kimberly Volk (McDonald)
Thank you so much for adding more information about Kim. I too was shocked and saddened by the loss of Kim at such a young age. We all thought we would live forever and her passing taught us to treat life as a gift.While working in Denver in the mid 90's, I volunteered at the Ronald McDonald house that was mentioned in the article. I believe the House Manager Kim babysat for is the same manager I worked with because she had been there for years and years. As a volunteer, I felt I always got more from being there than I could ever give. It helped me to put life into perspective. The bravery and grace of the families and patients is beyond belief. The Denver RMH has since moved to a newer, much larger facility but the memories of the old victorian house on 16th Avenue will forever be an important part of my life.
Rest in peace, Kim.
Kim Brown (Fank)
Kim had more grace and kindness than anyone I had known, I still miss her. She may not have known the impact that she made at the time but she helped me cope and understand later in my life as I cared for a very close friend go through similar conditions and he too went to heaven too early. As I stood by his side, I remembered Kim as well.I stayed in my friend Steve's room,talked to him when he woke held his hand and let him know I was there and I stayed until he took his very last breath and I will never forget how difficult it was to say goodbye. I am so Thankful to have known so many wonderful people throughout my life. They are never far from my thoughts. Thank you again for sharing Kim's life with us. With warm regards, Kim Brown