| 09/10/08 09:36 PM |
#17
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Jolee Clarke (Preston)
First, I want to tell you all how nice it is to see new faces and people joining the site. The committee tried hard to have a big turnout for the reunion...knowing that something like this will happen now and in the future. We are actually quite lucky to not have a higher mortality rate than we do. Compared to some other schools. I do not want to lose another classmate though....period. I will put together every remaining reunion if people will come and get together and remember those who can't be there. Promise.
I know people are wanting to know how Mike passed away. It was NOT an overdose, not suicide, nor intentional. Not that I spoke to him immediately prior to this happening, but there were things going on in Mike's life that were taking a change for the better. But the fact was Mike had issues with alcohol. I don't want Mike's drinking to be the "elephant in the room" that people are skirting around. And if you know me, you know I shoot straight. I have had many, many discussions with Mike about "being careful" if he was drinking and sitting in the hot tub...to no effect. I know his parents wanted to take the hot tub out...for fear of THIS happening...with no results. Other friends BEGGED him to get rid of the hot tub...but he wouldn't. Mike listened to Mike...and told everyone else, "I'm fine, quit worrying." So, what I do know happened is that he was talking with someone on the phone at 10pm, got off the phone, got in the hot tub...and didn't make it out. His parents found him the next evening at 5pm, after not showing up for work. There are blessings and curses in all of this. His kids weren't there, no other human was harmed, but his mom and dad had to see their son in this shape.
I do know his family and closest friends have been trying to get Mike to open up about his problem for quite a while now. But you just can't push someone too hard or they will shut you out. I think Perry said it best when he wrote me and said..."Mike was reaching out with one hand and pushing away with the other." That is what we were dealing with. There are many others who were trying to help Mike long before I came into the picture at the reunion. But I had to try. In the meantime, I found out Mike was as good of a guy as they came, which made me love him even more.
Pastor David Keaton sent me a multitude of heavenly e-mails today. He knew I was beginning to break over this. His words were a rock to me and I asked him if I could share portions of his email. He agreed.
The main sentences that I kept reading over and over were these:
"All of you should be distraught, but not defeated. You did as much as Mike would allow you to do, and that is all anyone could ask. As you deal with the terminally ill, you are very much aware that a person has to reach a point of "acceptance." Mike never found himself at that point of accepting the pain and turmoil over his past. However, his death does not diminish his life."
Distraught, yet not DEFEATED.
His death does not DIMINISH his life.
Powerful words that are so needed right now. Let's not be defeated. Let's use this as an avenue for change, for comfort, and for something positive to come out of it.
Do NOT let Mike's death dimish his life....PLEASE. Put a stop to anyone who is stating this was suicide or a drug overdose. No one knows that and at this point, it will not change things. Spare his children and his family from hearing that.
See you all tomorrow. I will tell you now I am strong with death, but when I break, I break hard. It's coming for me, as I am sure it is with all of you. I will help hold you, if you will help me.
Love you all friends...dear friends.
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