School Story:
This Story was written by Guy Frugia Class of 71
First Time for Everything
I'm not sure Billy wants to read this one, but I've had several people ask me why I haven't written it. Every person that has ever gotten drunk had to do it for the first time, and Billy's first was probably more eventful than most.
Billy had been going out with this girl (I won't mention her name, for Billy's sake and her sake) for quite a while. One weekend, she broke a date with him, and it was soon discovered that she was going out with someone else that night. She was a year older than Billy, and if memory serves me correctly, she had been going with this other guy first, anyway.
Well, we decided to get some beer and help him forget his problems. John said he knew someone that could buy us some beer. I don't think I've mentioned this in any of my stories yet, but to their credit, John and Peter never drank. They were just naturally crazy, I guess.
John took us down to the black section of town, and we went into a pool hall to get someone to buy us some beer. John and I went in, and it quickly became apparent that he didn't know anyone in particular in there. He was just hoping to find someone to buy it for us. As luck would have it, he found someone pretty quick, but I was still scared. Not that anyone would give us any trouble, nor us they, but it was just strange being in a pool hall and underaged. We had quite a few people staring at us. I know I didn't feel welcome, but to see John, it didn't bother him at all.
Well, we started riding around, and drinking on these 2 six packs of Schlitz. I had drank before, so I wasn't quite as bad off as Billy. No, we didn't drink it all. To tell you the truth, I think Billy only had a couple cans before he got really wasted.
We ended up in the parking lot at the high school. The UIL competitors had traveled somewhere for a competition, and Peter wanted to pick up his girlfriend and take her home. We were there in two cars, John and Peter's. Somehow, John and Billy were in Peter's little Datsun, and Peter and I were in John's Chevy Impala.
We were sitting side by side in the parking lot when the bus pulled in. At about that time, Billy decided he had to take a leak and got out of the car. We figured he would walk around behind the car, but he staggered over to the back of the bus while it was unloading and relieved himself on the back of the bus. We watched him, at first dumbfounded, and then laughing hysterically, just waiting for one of the chaparones on the bus to catch him. We could not get out of the cars to stop him because we were laughing too hard, and we knew if we hollered at him to stop, someone would hear and catch him. When he finished, he staggered back over to Peter's car, opened the back door and fell in. He was laying across the back seat, with his head against the other door. John reached back and closed the door.
When Peter's girlfriend walked over to the car, she naturally thought Peter would be in his car, so she opened the back door to throw her bag in. She opened the door that just happened to be supporting Billy's head. When the door moved away from his head, it rolled down like his neck was broken.
"Close the ----ing door, bitch!" He slurred.
In a huff, she slammed the door, catching Billy's head between it and the seat. He was howling. She wouldn't open the door (don't really blame her), so John had to jump out and run around and open it to release Billy's head.
I haven't mentioned it yet, but all these goings on were accompanied by Billy complaining about how he had been done wrong by his girl. You know how all that is with someone when they're drinking. I'm not gonna say he was crying in his beer and all that, because he wasn't. The holes in the top of the cans were too small for the tears to find their way in. If we would have been drinking from glasses, well, now, it would have made a very good country and western song.
I left the school with Peter. He had to take his girlfriend home, and I'm sure they would have rather I had gone with John and Billy, but they didn't say anything. The funny part of all this is what happened to John and Billy.
Somehow, Billy talked John into driving by his girl's house. It had been raining for days, and all the ditches were full. John pulled into the end of her driveway, Billy jumped out of the car and fell into 4 feet of water at the culvert! As I said, I wasn't there, but I can hear John laughing at him as I am typing this. He finally made his way out of the water, and wandered up near the front door.
What happened next is open to speculation. The story goes that he rang the doorbell, and relieved himself on the porch, just like he did earlier on the school bus. I personally don't think he did this, but in his condition, who knows? Makes for a good story, anyway, doesn't it? If he did, thank god no one answered the door. That would have been really hard for him to explain, wouldn't it?
John finally got him back to the car and went back into town to look us up. We all headed back to the farm.
When we got there, John filled us in, while Billy was accusing all of us of being on her side. We had no idea where that came from, but he was saying it anyway. Ended up, we had him down on the floor, trapped under 4 or 5 chairs from the dining room table. He wanted to whip all our butts so we held him down with them to keep him from hurting himself.
Billy didn't feel real good the next morning, to say the least. I don't think he believes he did all this, even today.
Copyright Guy Frugia, 1999
