'BIG 60' & Vegas Humor
Cost of Living 1978
How Much things cost in 1978
Yearly Inflation Rate USA 7.62%
Year End Close Dow Jones Industrial Average 805
Interest Rates Year End Federal Reserve 11.75%
Average Cost of new house $54,800.00
Average Income per year $17,000.00
Average Monthly Rent $260.00
Cost of a gallon of Gas 63 cents
1LB of Bacon $1.20
Dozen Eggs 48 Cents
What Events Happened in 1978
- Camp David Peace Treaty Egypt makes peace with Israel
- Public Service strikes in UK causes major disruption to all services
- After nearly 30 years The Volkswagen Beetle stops production having manufactured 20 million cars
- Worldwide Unemployment rises after several decades of near full employment
- Gold reaches an all time high of $200.00 per ounce
- The US Dollar plunges to record low against many European currencies
- The Japanese car Imports account for half the US import market following the energy crisis and increase in fuel prices that fuels demand for economy cars
- The European Court of Human Rights finds the United Kingdom government guilty of mistreating prisoners in Northern Ireland
- Sweden becomes the first nation to ban aerosol sprays that are thought to damage earth's protective ozone layer.
- Rhodesia's prime minister Ian Smith and three black leaders agree on the transfer to black majority rule.
- The oil tanker Amoco Cadiz runs aground on the coast of Brittany. Causing an ecological disaster with A slick 18 miles wide and 80 miles long covered about 200 miles (320 km) of Brittany coastline
- Serial killer David Berkowitz, the "Son of Sam", is sentenced to 25 years to life in prison
- The US stops production of the Neutron Bomb ( Kills People but leaves buildings and infrastructure standing )
- The first Susan B. Anthony Dollar is minted
- The Cult leader Jim Jones instructed 400 members of his church, "People's Temple", to commit suicide
- Israel attacks on southern Lebanon following bus hijacking in Tel Aviv
- A powerful magnitude 6.5 earthquake hits Thessaloniki, Greece
- Due to poor Cold War Relations United States bans sale of latest computer technology to Soviet Union
- Pope Paul VI dies at age of 80.
- John Paul I Becomes Pope from August 26, 1978 and dies just 33 days later on September 28, 1978
- Cardinal Karol Wojtyla becomes Pope John Paul II
- Britain launches the Motability scheme to provide cars for disabled people
- Worlds Population Estimated at 4.4 billion
- Dominica Gains Independence From Great Britain
- Karl Wallenda, founder of the Flying Wallendas, dies after falling off a tight-rope
- Argentina Wins 1978 World Cup in Argentina
We'll Be Classmates 'Til we're Old & Senile
...Then Guess What?
We'll Be New Classmates!
An Interview with God
We get bored with childhood.
We rush to grow up and then,
long to be children again
We lose our health to make money and then lose our
money to restore our health
That by thinking anxiously about the future, we forget the present
such that we live neither in the present nor the future
That we live as if we will never die,
and die as if we never lived
As you age your world gets smaller
You lose your friends
You or your family move away
You don't get around as much
Do not compare yourself to others
To learn they cannot make anyone love them.
What we can do is let ourselves be loved.
A rich person is not one who has the most,
but is one that needs the least.
To learn that it only takes a few seconds to open profound woulds in persons we love,
and it takes many years to heal them,
To learn to forgive by practicing forgiveness
To learn that there are persons that love you dearly
but simply do not know how to express or show their feelings
To learn that two people can look at the same thing and see it differently.
To learn that it is not always enough that they be forgiven by others.
But that they must forgive themselves.
Our first experience with a computer
https://www.age-test.com/
Is when you keep turning off lights for economical rather than romantic reasons
Is when you are doing something you have a choice between two temptations;
1) That it won't hurt too much or 2) That you will get you home earlier
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Life begins at 60. Up until then, we are just doing research
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Is when we did most of our stupid stuff before the internet
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Is when you still believe you'll feel better in the morning
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Is 18 with 42 years of experience.
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60 isn't old if your a dog or a tree.
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The secret of staying young is to live honestly,
A fun thing to do How about your current IQ? https://en.piixemto.com/iq-test/
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Your Life In Numbers
The average human spends roughly 79 years or 28,835 days on Earth.
So, there are an average of 692,040 hours in a lifetime.
Let’s take a look at how we spend the time of our lives.
The one activity you spend most of your life doing is sleep.
But how does it compare to work, socialising and laughing?
How many hours does the average person sleep?
The average person spends about 26 years sleeping in their life,
which equates to 9,490 days or 227,760 hours.
Surprisingly, we also spend 7 years trying to get to sleep.
That’s 33 years or 12,045 days spent in bed!
But what’s so special about sleep?
It boosts mental and physical well-being including immunity, weight regulation and even fertility. However much you need, a quality kip is a sleep well spent.
Average time spent at work in a lifetime
Whether daily grind or dream career, our jobs take up a lot of our time; 13 years on average, actually. That’s 24% of a typical working period of 50 years.
For those who just can’t get enough, there are about 441 days worked overtime in a life.
If you add this all together, you’ll potentially work for the equivalent of 4,821 days during your time here.
Are you're one of those overachievers who decides to push their retirement to 75?
Social Media consumes 3 years of your life
A life’s worth of entertainment
After all that hard work, we love catching up on social media on our commute home to settle down to our favourite TV shows. We spend around 8.3 years (3030 days) in front of the TV. That’s enough to watch 72,720 hour-long programmes in a lifetime.
How much time we spend eating
Food glorious food… arguably one of life’s greatest pleasures. We love it so much that we spend almost 4 and a half years eating it! That’s 1583 days’ worth of time munching away.
Holidays of a lifetime
It’s time to pack up and jet off to your holiday destination. Most of us will spend just over 3 years of our lives in different destinations than the ones we call home. This translates as 1146 days in far-flung places.
Do you get enough exercise in your life?
Taking up an average of 1.3 years of our lives is exercise. That means we spend more than double the time on social media than we do feeling the burn. And we spend over 6 times as long watching the telly.
The romantic side of life
Romance isn’t completely dead, at least not for the most part. The average person spends 395 days in their life being romantic. Over one year of time used for flowers, candles, fancy meals and you-know-what!
Valentine’s day is also one of the busiest times of the year for bed suppliers.
Make time to socialize
If you think you’re in need of a night out with friends, you might be right. We only spend around 368 days of our lives socialising. That’s 12 times less than we work.
Time spent at school
We often remember school as a huge part of our upbringing. A time that shaped and changed our childhood. In reality, we only spend around 334 days’ worth of our lives in primary and secondary school. That’s not even one year!
Extras
After all the ‘essentials’ like working, eating and being entertained, we’re left with all the extras. Things we do every day without thinking about.
We spend 235 days of our lives waiting in queues.
Do you realize that 2,930 hours are sitting at stop lights before you even retire
Put another way: that's 122 days—or about 4 months of your life!
115 days are spent laughing.
Women spend 136 days getting ready while men only take 46.
What’s left?
After all this is added together, we’re left with approximately 2997 days or 8.2 years.
Within that time, you’ll commute, clean, see shows, have a family, run races, tell stories and so much more. You’ll live your life, and hopefully in the way you wanted to.
Which Leads us to...
The United States of America is in deep trouble!
The population of this country is 334 million.
81% reside in cities and suburbs.
180 million are retired.
That leaves 152 million to do the work.
There are 85 million in school.
Which leaves 77 million to do the work.
Of this there are 55 million employed by the federal government.
Leaving 22 million to do the work.
3.8 million are in the armed forces preoccupied with war games!
Which leaves 18.2 million to do the work.
Take from that total the 16.8 million people who work for state and city Governments.
And that leaves 1.4 million to do the work.
At any given time there are 188,000 people in hospitals.
Leaving 1,212,000 to do the work.
Now, there are 1,211,998 people in prisons.
That leaves just two people to do the work.
You and me.
And there you are,
Sitting on your butt,
Nice, Real nice!
This Humor should resonate with everyone
- At age thirty, we think a lot about others
- At age forty, we don’t care what others think of us
- At age fifty, we're not sure if we should worry about what others think of us
- At age sixty, we discover they haven’t been thinking of us at all
92 Year 'Young' jumping off the Strat in Vegas
A Plan for 60+ Year Olds
- Move in with your kids
- Hog the computer
- Pay no bills
- Trash their house
- When asked to clean...pitch a fit like it's killing you!
SENIOR TRYING TO SET A PASSWORD
> WINDOWS: Please enter your new password.
> USER: cabbage
> WINDOWS: Sorry, the password must be more than 6 characters.
> USER: boiled cabbage
> WINDOWS: Sorry, the password must contain 1 numerical character.
> USER: 1 boiled cabbage
> WINDOWS: Sorry, the password cannot have blank spaces.
> USER: 50damnboiledcabbages
> WINDOWS: Sorry, the password must contain at least one upper case character
> USER: 50DAMNboiledcabbages
> WINDOWS: Sorry, the password cannot use more than one upper case character consecutively.
> USER: 50damnBoiledCabbagesShovedUpYourAssIfYouDon'tGiveMeAccessNow!
> WINDOWS: Sorry, the password cannot contain punctuation.
> USER: ReallyPissedOff50DamnBoiledCabbagesShovedUpYourAssIfYouDontGiveMeAccessNow
> WINDOWS: Sorry, that password is already in use
Sad but true...You Know You Are Getting Old When:
Everything hurts and what doesn't hurt, doesn't work.
Getting lucky means you find your car in the parking lot.
Your knees buckle and your belt won't.
You give up all your bad habits and you still don't feel good.
Dialing long distance wears you out.
You're the one calling the police because those damn kids next door won't turn down the stereo.
WHAT DOES A REAL WOMAN DO TO A MAN?
She will never stand him up and never let him down.
She will enable him to be the most confident, sexy, seductive, and invincible person he can be. . .
Never mind.
You Know You Are Getting Old When:
You actually want socks for Christmas.
You and your teeth don't sleep together.
You don't remember being absent minded
In a hostage situation you are likely to be released first.
"Getting a little action" means you don't need to take a laxative.
Adult diapers are actually kind of convenient.
All of your favorite movies are now re-released in color.
Conversations with people your own age often turn into "dueling ailments."
After painting the town red, you have to take a long rest before applying a second coat.
The little gray-haired lady you help across the street is you.
There's nothing left to learn the hard way.
Your secrets are safe with your friends because they can't remember them either.
You finally got your head together, now your body is falling apart.
At cafeterias, you complain that the jello is too tough.
One of the throw pillows on your bed is a hot-water bottle.
You Know You Are Getting Old When:
At parties you attend, the prime topic of choice is "regularity."
When did my wild oats turn to prunes and All Bran?
Happy hour is a nap.
People call at 9 p.m. and ask, "Did I wake you?"
It takes twice as long to look half as good.
When your doctor doesn't give you x-rays anymore but just holds you up to the light.
It takes longer to rest than it did to get tired
You Know You Are Getting Old When:
Your childhood toys are now in a museum.
Your joints are more accurate than the National Weather Service.
You have a party and the neighbors don't even realize it.
You find your self singing along with elevator music.
People no longer view you as a hypochondriac.
Your supply of brain cells is finally down to a manageable size.
Things you buy now won't wear out.
When getting lucky means you find your car in the parking lot.
When tying one on means fastening your MedicAlert bracelet.
When you are cautioned to slow down by your doctor instead of the police.
You Know You Are Getting Old When:
When you don't care where your wife goes, just so you don't have to go along.
When you realize that caution is the only thing you care to exercise.
When you step off a curb and look down one more time to make sure that the street is still there.
When you stop buying green bananas.
When you wake up with that morning-after feeling, and you didn't do anything the night before.
The pharmacist has become your new best friend.
At the breakfast table you hear "snap, crackle, pop" and you're not eating cereal
Walking up or down the stairs you hear a creek and it's not the stairs.
If God wanted you to touch your toes,
He would have put them on your knees
An old man decided his old wife was getting hard of hearing.
So he called her doctor to make an appointment to have her hearing checked. The Doctor said he could see her in two weeks, and meanwhile there's a simple, informal test the husband could do to give the doctor some idea of the dimensions of the problem."Here's what you do. Start about 40 feet away from her, and speak in
a normal conversational tone and see if she hears you. If not, go to 30 feet, then 20 feet, and so on until you get a response."
So that evening she's in the kitchen cooking dinner, and he's in the living room, and he says to himself,"I'm about 40 feet away, let's see what happens."
"Honey, what's for supper?" No response.
So he moves to the other end of the room, about 30 feet away.
"Honey, what's for supper?" No response.
So he moves into the dining room, about 20 feet away.
"Honey, what's for supper?" No response.
On to the kitchen door, only 10 feet away.
"Honey, what's for supper?". No response.
So he walks right up behind her.
"Honey, what's for supper?"
"For the FIFTH time, CHICKEN!!!!"
Two senior ladies met for the first time since graduating from high school.
One asked the other,
"You were always so organized in school, did you manage to live a well planned life?"
"Oh yes," said her friend. "My first marriage was to a millionaire; my second marriage was to an actor; my third marriage was to a preacher; and now I'm married to an undertaker."
Her friend asked, "What do those marriages have to do with a well planned life?"
"One for the money, two for the show. three to get ready and four to go."
A retired gentleman went to apply for Social Security.
After waiting in line for hours, he finally arrived at the counter. The woman behind the counter asked for his identification to verify his age and, after looking in his pockets, he realized that he'd left his wallet at home. "Will I have to go home and get it?" he asked.
The woman said "Unbutton your shirt."
He opened his shirt revealing lots of curly silver hair."That silver hair on your chest is proof enough for me," she said and processed his Social Security application.
When he got home, the man told his wife about his experience at the Social Security office, and she said "You should have dropped your pants -- you might have qualified for disability, too."
An elderly couple was on a cruise and it was really stormy.
They were standing on the back of the boat watching the moon, when a wave came up and washed the old man overboard. They searched for days and couldn't find him, so the Captain sent the old woman back to shore, with the promise that he would notify her as soon as they found something.
Three weeks went by and finally, the old woman got a e-mail from the boat. It read: Ma'am, sorry to inform you that we found your husband dead, at the bottom of the ocean. We hauled him up to the deck, and attached to his butt was an oyster, and inside it was a pearl worth $50,000 ....
please advise.
The old woman e-mailed back: Send me the pearl and re-bait the trap!