You Might Be...

You might be a former Loretto student if...

1. You live in Kansas City, but attended class in a pygmy hut.

2. You've practiced a tornado drill in a convent.

3. You feel crowded in your "giant" college freshman class of 32 people.

4. You have a hard time voting for someone as conservative as Obama.

5. You've never seen a nun in a habit.

6. You can't relate to the nun in the Blues Brothers at all, but went to school with dozens of Jakes and Elwoods.

7. When you see a giant wad of keys, you think of Sr. Patrice... and artillery.

8. You don't understand why your boss won't allow you to write your own job description - after all, it worked at Loretto!

9. You pride yourself in knowing that Krishna is the ninth incarnation of Lord Vishnu, the five Kakkar's of Sikhism and the mystical relationship of Sufism to traditional branches of Islam... but you have no idea what makes Southern Baptists different than Methodists. 

10. You're considering coming out to your parents to tell them that you're straight.

11. You know that left is right and right is wrong.

12. You've actually seen the Dead, Live.

14. The closest thing you can think of as your "school fight song" is "All You Need is Love."

15. Your children learn to walk in Birkenstocks.

17. Your high school stories beat your kid's high school stories.

18. You flipped when you found out what's in your kid's "normal" sex-ed class.

19. The first time you've seen a regimented lesson plan was when your kid came home with one.

20. You were amazed that the quadratic equation was actually found in books and didn't require a week of free thinking and derivation with a group of friends in math class.

21. You were stunned to find out that high school could actually suck...

22. You shudder at the thought of sending your kid to somewhere "normal."

23. You had a perfect season of varsity ball... you didn't win a single game.

24. You remember the great basketball "victory" as holding Rockhust between 80 and 100 points in the second half.

25. Although you're from Kansas City, You know that the world doesn't end at Des Moines & Lake of the Ozarks.

26. You learned more about life, human nature, yourself and people by the age of 15 than many people learn in a lifetime.

27. As an adult, you still crave the kind of attention and nurturing that the Teachers and Sisters gave you in High School.

28. If anytime you are in an office/room of anykind with closed doors, you get a bit nervous.

29. Your teeth still hurt from eating John's Logan Bricks. 

30. The most important thing to remember was to bring the Jobs to school.

31. You're still wondering what John was up to with all those rats.

32. You can't remember what you were doing last week, 90% of what you learned in college or what your spouse told you yesterday, but you can recall almost all of what Nelda taught you.

33. You felt mentally constipated from the diet of rote learning as an undergrad.

34. You felt right at home in grad. school with open-ended problems that required free thinking.

35. You were shocked to find out that thinking for yourself is dangerous... especially that to survive college English all you were supposed to do is parrot back Cliff's Notes.

36. You straightened up when you saw that Sr. Croom was coming! 

38. You've ever been caroling on the plaza... in French

39. A canoe trip just isn't complete without a live chicken in tow.