Paul was one of my closest buddies in High School. He was not only a lot of fun to be with (he had a very dry wit and great sense of humor) but he was a generous and very loyal friend. He even let me drive his really hot 1963 Ford Fairlaine, with 4 on the floor hurst linkage. I got my first ticket flooring his car down Brittan Avenue for about a block one fine summer day. It was a good thing my car wasn't as cool as his was during those days, or I would have ended up riding a bike (and I don't mean motorcycle).
We continued to hang out together at CSM, taking several classes together. He was a math whiz, and I remember one of the classes we took was a symbolic logic course (I was lost but he thrived on it and made me look like I was standing still...). We traded stuff back and forth, and I still have his guitar. We also talked about everything and did quite a bit of stuff together.
I last saw Paul in 1980 when he came over to my place and he celebrated Thanksgiving dinner with my family about a week before he committed suicide. His way of saying goodbye. It's kind of sad how even the people you are closest to will often hide their internal struggles from you. I think about him often, and the great times we shared together.
Ode to Paul; the quiet,gentle soul with whom I delivered the Chronicle in the wee early ,dark, dank hours of many a wintry morn with the promise of dooonuuutts and hot chocolate at the end (we could do this as gas was only 7 - 10 cents a GALLON; AND PAULS CITROEN MAXIMIZED THE DISTANCE ONE COULD TRAVEL ON A QUARTERS WORTH OF GAS).
to the friend with whom I stood by through the craziness of his mom's suicide a week after we had spent all nite at the bowling alley trying to knock down that which we could not see at the end of the alley; although Ellen gave us great encouragement as she shortened the alley by forgetting to let go of the ball :} WHAT A GREAT GRAD NITE WE HAD; ESPECIALLY BCUZ WE TANKED UP BEFORE WE WENT IN, AND CHEWED GOBS OF WINTERGREEN SPEARMENT LIFESAVERS AND WRIGLEYS SPEARMENT GUM TO GET PAST THE gESTAPO OF mRS. wALSH, mR. wILSON AND THAT TALL VICE PRINCIPAL, HAVING VALID(?) TICKETS OF COURSE/OF COURSE HELPED.....DOES ANYONE STILL HAVE THE TICKET AS A KEEPSAKE THAT WE COULD REPRODUCE FOR OUR CLASS?
I believe Paul was one of the first bocci ball bowlers as he was determined to knock down the pins, nO matter how close he got, even kicking a few. Boy, bowling alleys were so much more fun back then, when times were younger then... tHE CRAZINESS OF THE LOTTERY TO SEE WHO GOT TO PLAY ARMY WAS STARTED, AND ACULPOCO GOLD WAS THE REAL DEAL, NOT CUT WITH WHO KNOWS WHAT?
lest i wander farther< bACK TO pAUL; WHO STOOD BESIDE ME AT tERRA lINDA JUNIOR HIGH (who has morphed into a private school; a charter school; and now?) But the locker rooms and bathrooms are still the same. The dances in the multi purpose rooms with the sides drawn and the middle of the field sparcely populated by wannabe dancers It was always amazing how the first dances you could pick out the three or four couples, but by the last call for dances, courage mounted (DESPERATION AS WELL) and the floor became a spasmodic movement of dancers or alot of people needing to use the restroom. tHEN CAME THE HIGH SCHOOL DANCES WITHOUT THESE PROBLEMS. tEACHERS CARRIED CROWBARS TO PRY US APART. :}
Before I plagerize Simon and Garfunkles song about how much fun it was back then , when we were so much younger then (NEIL YOUNG?) and sang out (S & G) "Hello, darkness, my old friend; I've come to visit you again"( sOUNDS OF sILENCE ALBUM) ANY VINYLS STILL AROUND. oNE OF pAUL'S AND MY FAVORITE ACTIVITIES WAS TO WALK TO THE cARLOS tHEATRE AND THEN STUMBLE HOME SINGING OUTRAGEOUSLY (MAYBE YELLING) i'M hENERY THE eIGHTH i AM ; hENERY THE eIGHTH i AM i AM; NOT A PRETTY SIGHT OR SOUND BUT, HEY, WE WERE so Much younger then....
tHIS, i WRITE TO YOU TO HELP YOU UNDERSTAND THAT WE HAD A GREAT TIME IN HIGH SCHOOL; pAUL KEPT WANTING TO SHARE SOMETHING ABOUT cHAR AND HER MOM BUT ALWAYSS BUSTED UP LAUGHING BEFORE HE COULD FINISH; cHAR, CAN YOU FINISH THIS ANECDOTE AND END MY ANGUISH,
aFTER pAUL AND i MET AT tERRA lINDA , WE HATCHED A PLAN TO PLAY FOOTBALL IN HIGH SCHOOL, BUT THE RUNNING, TACKLING AND THE MUCH BIGGER, AGGRESSIVE GUYS CONVINCED US WE WERE BETTER LOVERS THAN KILLERS (AND ALL WE REALLY KNEW WAS FLAG FOOTBALL).
HIGH SCHOOL WAS FUN FOR US, BECAUSE WE BECAME THE THREE MUCHACHOS (kEVIN BECOMING A PART OF OUR AMOEBA) THINK sTEVE mARTIN SATURDAY NITE LIVE (ORIGINAL CAST). i GOT A JOB AT mCCIDEES. THEN pAUL DID; i JUMPED SHIP AND WENT TO A & W DRIVEIN THEN PAUL FOLLOWED AND KEVIN GRINNED
FAST FORWARD TO COLLEGE YEARS AND SERIOUS MOTORCYCLE RACING STARTED. wHEN pAUL SHOWED UP WITH HIS FIRST dUCATI IT TOOK US A WEEK TO PRONOUNCE IT RIGHT, WE RACED THROUGH THE dAVIS LEVIS UNTIL WE FLEW OVER A TOP AND THERE WAS A LAKE IN FRONT OF US (A RICE PATTIE WAS MORE LIKE IT) AND WE WIPED OUT BIGTIME. tHEN HAD TO PICK UP THE BIKES AND CARRY THEM BACK TO DRY LAND and THEY WOULD STAND RIGHT BACK UP AND GO HAUL ASS AGAIN TIL THE NEXT LEVEE..
pAUL WAS ALWAYS INTO FAST, CARS, BIKES, FOOD, AND cHAR (WHO WILL REMAIN ANNYMOUS DUE TO THE mRS. rOBINSON EFFECT ON pAUL.BY MOM)
hE LIVED WITH MY MOM ON THE HILL FOR MANY YEARS AND ATTENDED COLLEGE (CSM) AND GOT A JOB WHILE THERE THAT CAUSED HIM TO DRIVE ALL OVER BAY AREA (WHILE i WORKED ON A DOUBLE MAJOR AT dAVIS)AND PREMED.
wE BEGAN TO DRIFT APART, BUT BOY, WHEN HE RODE INTO TOWN, IT WAS DAYS ON BIKES TIL WE DROPPED. oF COURSE THEY HAD MOTORS, SOME OF THEM WERE EVEN BORED AND FAST/
hE STAYED WITH MY MOM IN THE BIG HOUSE ON TOP OF THE KNOLL FOR A YEARS, THEN DECIDED THAT HE WAS NO LONGER NEEDED ON THIS SIDE; AND THE REST IS HISTORY.
pAUL WAS FOUND DEAD ON OR ABOUT nOV. 30TH IN hAYWARD CA, HE SAID GOODBYE TO MY MOM , HAD DINNER WITH kEVINS fAMILY. RETURNED THINGS HE HAD BORROWED FROM MY MOM. aND WENT HOME AND WENT TO SLEEP FOREVER AFTER tHANKSGIVING 1981.
pAUL. i LOVED YOU AS IF YOU WERE MY FLESH AND BLOOD BROTHER. wHAT YOU DID WAS SELFISH AND CAUSED MUCH GRIEF FOR THOSE LEFT BEHIND. bUT LIFE HAS MOVED ON AND NOW, ONLY WITH EVENTS SUCH AS THIS DO WE GIVE OURSELVES PERMISSION TO REMEMBER; TO LOVE AGAIN, AND TO SMILE AGAIN AT THE ZANINESS THAT WAS HIGH SCHOOL.
AN ODE TO A FALLEN CLASSMATE TO MY "BROTHER" PAUL..........................
My "brother" has died. No more the rascal cheer That from him flowed; No more the lithe form, Sturdy and muscular;
What is a man, anyway? What he did for a living? How he spent his time or money? What he did for others, Or what he did for himself?
The news of his death Revives all other losses - Father, mother, brother, friend - And triggers the inevitable contemplation Of my own demise.
To be not here, where gardens bloom In such profuse diversity, Where brick walls seem substantial And everyone pretends that this is how It will always be...
My friend has died. His passing tells me life is precious. And though these feelings of my loss Are only feelings, I honor them, and thereby honor him Whose loss I mourn.
Kevin H. Wirth
Paul was one of my closest buddies in High School. He was not only a lot of fun to be with (he had a very dry wit and great sense of humor) but he was a generous and very loyal friend. He even let me drive his really hot 1963 Ford Fairlaine, with 4 on the floor hurst linkage. I got my first ticket flooring his car down Brittan Avenue for about a block one fine summer day. It was a good thing my car wasn't as cool as his was during those days, or I would have ended up riding a bike (and I don't mean motorcycle).We continued to hang out together at CSM, taking several classes together. He was a math whiz, and I remember one of the classes we took was a symbolic logic course (I was lost but he thrived on it and made me look like I was standing still...). We traded stuff back and forth, and I still have his guitar. We also talked about everything and did quite a bit of stuff together.
I last saw Paul in 1980 when he came over to my place and he celebrated Thanksgiving dinner with my family about a week before he committed suicide. His way of saying goodbye. It's kind of sad how even the people you are closest to will often hide their internal struggles from you. I think about him often, and the great times we shared together.
Glenn A. Cameron
Ode to Paul; the quiet,gentle soul with whom I delivered the Chronicle in the wee early ,dark, dank hours of many a wintry morn with the promise of dooonuuutts and hot chocolate at the end (we could do this as gas was only 7 - 10 cents a GALLON; AND PAULS CITROEN MAXIMIZED THE DISTANCE ONE COULD TRAVEL ON A QUARTERS WORTH OF GAS).to the friend with whom I stood by through the craziness of his mom's suicide a week after we had spent all nite at the bowling alley trying to knock down that which we could not see at the end of the alley; although Ellen gave us great encouragement as she shortened the alley by forgetting to let go of the ball :}
WHAT A GREAT GRAD NITE WE HAD; ESPECIALLY BCUZ WE TANKED UP BEFORE WE WENT IN, AND CHEWED GOBS OF WINTERGREEN SPEARMENT LIFESAVERS AND WRIGLEYS SPEARMENT GUM TO GET PAST THE gESTAPO OF mRS. wALSH, mR. wILSON AND THAT TALL VICE PRINCIPAL, HAVING VALID(?) TICKETS OF COURSE/OF COURSE HELPED.....DOES ANYONE STILL HAVE THE TICKET AS A KEEPSAKE THAT WE COULD REPRODUCE FOR OUR CLASS?
I believe Paul was one of the first bocci ball bowlers as he was determined to knock down the pins, nO matter how close he got, even kicking a few. Boy, bowling alleys were so much more fun back then, when times were younger then...
tHE CRAZINESS OF THE LOTTERY TO SEE WHO GOT TO PLAY ARMY WAS STARTED,
AND ACULPOCO GOLD WAS THE REAL DEAL, NOT CUT WITH WHO KNOWS WHAT?
lest i wander farther< bACK TO pAUL; WHO STOOD BESIDE ME AT tERRA lINDA JUNIOR HIGH (who has morphed into a private school; a charter school; and now?) But the locker rooms and bathrooms are still the same.
The dances in the multi purpose rooms with the sides drawn and the middle of the field sparcely populated by wannabe dancers It was always amazing how the first dances you could pick out the three or four couples, but by the last call for dances, courage mounted (DESPERATION AS WELL) and the floor became a spasmodic movement of dancers or alot of people needing to use the restroom. tHEN CAME THE HIGH SCHOOL DANCES WITHOUT THESE PROBLEMS. tEACHERS CARRIED CROWBARS TO PRY US APART. :}
Before I plagerize Simon and Garfunkles song about how much fun it was back then , when we were so much younger then (NEIL YOUNG?) and sang out (S & G) "Hello, darkness, my old friend; I've come to visit you again"( sOUNDS OF sILENCE ALBUM) ANY VINYLS STILL AROUND.
oNE OF pAUL'S AND MY FAVORITE ACTIVITIES WAS TO WALK TO THE cARLOS tHEATRE AND THEN STUMBLE HOME SINGING OUTRAGEOUSLY (MAYBE YELLING) i'M hENERY THE eIGHTH i AM ; hENERY THE eIGHTH i AM i AM; NOT A PRETTY SIGHT OR SOUND BUT, HEY, WE WERE so Much younger then....
tHIS, i WRITE TO YOU TO HELP YOU UNDERSTAND THAT WE HAD A GREAT TIME IN HIGH SCHOOL; pAUL KEPT WANTING TO SHARE SOMETHING ABOUT cHAR AND HER MOM BUT ALWAYSS BUSTED UP LAUGHING BEFORE HE COULD FINISH; cHAR, CAN YOU FINISH THIS ANECDOTE AND END MY ANGUISH,
aFTER pAUL AND i MET AT tERRA lINDA , WE HATCHED A PLAN TO PLAY FOOTBALL IN HIGH SCHOOL, BUT THE RUNNING, TACKLING AND THE MUCH BIGGER, AGGRESSIVE GUYS CONVINCED US WE WERE BETTER LOVERS THAN KILLERS (AND ALL WE REALLY KNEW WAS FLAG FOOTBALL).
HIGH SCHOOL WAS FUN FOR US, BECAUSE WE BECAME THE THREE MUCHACHOS (kEVIN BECOMING A PART OF OUR AMOEBA) THINK sTEVE mARTIN SATURDAY NITE LIVE (ORIGINAL CAST). i GOT A JOB AT mCCIDEES. THEN pAUL DID; i JUMPED SHIP AND WENT TO A & W DRIVEIN THEN PAUL FOLLOWED AND KEVIN GRINNED
FAST FORWARD TO COLLEGE YEARS AND SERIOUS MOTORCYCLE RACING STARTED. wHEN pAUL SHOWED UP WITH HIS FIRST dUCATI
IT TOOK US A WEEK TO PRONOUNCE IT RIGHT, WE RACED THROUGH THE dAVIS LEVIS UNTIL WE FLEW OVER A TOP AND THERE WAS A LAKE IN FRONT OF US (A RICE PATTIE WAS MORE LIKE IT) AND WE WIPED OUT BIGTIME. tHEN HAD TO PICK UP THE BIKES AND CARRY THEM BACK TO DRY LAND and THEY WOULD STAND RIGHT BACK UP AND GO HAUL ASS AGAIN TIL THE NEXT LEVEE..
pAUL WAS ALWAYS INTO FAST, CARS, BIKES, FOOD, AND cHAR (WHO WILL REMAIN ANNYMOUS DUE TO THE mRS. rOBINSON EFFECT ON pAUL.BY MOM)
hE LIVED WITH MY MOM ON THE HILL FOR MANY YEARS AND ATTENDED COLLEGE (CSM) AND GOT A JOB WHILE THERE THAT CAUSED HIM TO DRIVE ALL OVER BAY AREA (WHILE i WORKED ON A DOUBLE MAJOR AT dAVIS)AND PREMED.
wE BEGAN TO DRIFT APART, BUT BOY, WHEN HE RODE INTO TOWN, IT WAS DAYS ON BIKES TIL WE DROPPED. oF COURSE THEY HAD MOTORS, SOME OF THEM WERE EVEN BORED AND FAST/
hE STAYED WITH MY MOM IN THE BIG HOUSE ON TOP OF THE KNOLL FOR A YEARS, THEN DECIDED THAT HE WAS NO LONGER NEEDED ON THIS SIDE; AND THE REST IS HISTORY.
pAUL WAS FOUND DEAD ON OR ABOUT nOV. 30TH IN hAYWARD CA, HE SAID GOODBYE TO MY MOM , HAD DINNER WITH kEVINS fAMILY. RETURNED THINGS HE HAD BORROWED FROM MY MOM. aND WENT HOME AND WENT TO SLEEP FOREVER AFTER tHANKSGIVING 1981.
pAUL. i LOVED YOU AS IF YOU WERE MY FLESH AND BLOOD BROTHER. wHAT YOU DID WAS SELFISH AND CAUSED MUCH GRIEF FOR THOSE LEFT BEHIND. bUT LIFE HAS MOVED ON AND NOW, ONLY WITH EVENTS SUCH AS THIS DO WE GIVE OURSELVES PERMISSION TO REMEMBER; TO LOVE AGAIN, AND TO SMILE AGAIN AT THE ZANINESS THAT WAS HIGH SCHOOL.
AN ODE TO A FALLEN CLASSMATE
TO MY "BROTHER" PAUL..........................
My "brother" has died.
No more the rascal cheer
That from him flowed;
No more the lithe form,
Sturdy and muscular;
What is a man, anyway?
What he did for a living?
How he spent his time or money?
What he did for others,
Or what he did for himself?
The news of his death
Revives all other losses -
Father, mother, brother, friend -
And triggers the inevitable contemplation
Of my own demise.
To be not here, where gardens bloom
In such profuse diversity,
Where brick walls seem substantial
And everyone pretends that this is how
It will always be...
My friend has died.
His passing tells me life is precious.
And though these feelings of my loss
Are only feelings,
I honor them, and thereby honor him
Whose loss I mourn.