THE CLASS REUNION
Author unknown

Every ten years, as summertime nears,
An announcement arrives in the mail.
A reunion is planned; it'll be really grand.
Make plans to attend without fail.

I'll never forget the first time we met.
We tried so hard to impress.
We drove fancy cars, smoked big cigars,
And wore our most elegant dress.

It was quite an affair, the whole class was there.
It was held at a fancy hotel.
We wined, and we dined, and we acted refined,
And everyone thought it was swell.

The men all conversed about who had been first
To achieve great fortune and fame.
Meanwhile, their spouses described their fine houses
And how beautiful their children became.

The homecoming queen, who once had been lean,
Now weighed in at one-ninety-six.
The jocks who were there had all lost their hair,
And the cheerleaders could no longer do kicks.

No one had heard about the class nerd
Who'd guided a spacecraft to the moon,
Or poor little Jane, who'd always been plain;
She'd married a shipping tycoon.

The boy we'd decreed "most apt to success"
Was serving ten years in the pen.
While the one voted "least" now was a priest;
Just shows you can be wrong now and then.

They awarded a prize to one of the guys
Who seems to have aged the least.
Another was given to the grad who had driven
The farthest to attend the feast.

They took a class picture, a curious mixture
Of beehives, crew cuts, and wide ties.
Tall, short, or skinny, the style was the mini;
You never saw so many thighs.

At our next get-together, no one cared whether
They impressed their classmates or not.
The mood was informal, a whole lot more normal;
By this time we'd all gone to pot.

It was held out-of-doors, at the lake shores;
We ate hamburgers, coleslaw, and beans.
Then most of us lay around in the shade
In our comfortable T-shirts and jeans.

By the fortieth year, it was abundantly clear,
We were definitely over the hill.
Those who weren't dead had to crawl out of bed
And be home in time for their pill.

And now I can't wait, they've set the date.
Our fiftieth is coming, I'm told.
It should be a ball, they've rented a hall
At the Shady Rest Home for the old.

Repairs have been made on my hearing aid.
My pacemaker's been turned up on high.
My wheelchair is oiled and my teeth have been boiled,
And I've bought a new wig and glass eye.

I'm feeling quite hearty and I'm ready to party.
I'm gonna dance ‘til dawn's early light.
It'll be lots of fun, but I just hope that there's one
Other person who can make it that night.

*   *   *   *   *

CLASS REUNION
by Donna Presnell, through Elizabeth Lucas Designs

It was my class reunion, and all through the house,
I checked in each mirror and begged my poor spouse
To say I looked great, that my chin wasn't double,
And he lied through false teeth, just to stay out of trouble.

Said that ‘neath my thick glasses, my eyes hadn't changed.
And I had the same figure, it was just a mite rearranged.
He said my skin was still silky, although looser in drape,
Not so much like smooth satin, but more like silk crepe.

I swallowed his words hook, sinker, and line
And entered the banquet feeling just fine.
Somehow I'd expected my classmates to stay
As young as they were on that long-ago day.

We'd hugged farewell hugs. But like me, through the years,
They'd added gray to their hair, or pounds to their rears.
But as we shared a few memories and retold some class jokes,
We were eighteen in spirit, though we looked like our folks.

We turned up hearing aid volumes and dimmed down the light,
Rolled back the years, and were young for the night.