Bobby Sparks

Gary,

Thank you for the birthday recognition. I want to let everyone know I'm working on my profile. No, it's not that complicated. I just don't want leave out the blessings. I am battling PTSD from my tour in Vietnam and my concentration leaves me often. Can't be my age.

Later.......... and hello to all.   Bobby

Connie Morgan (White)

I visited with Trent and family in Canton for a few days, and came home to bunches of news on our site.  

Congratulations Gary!!!  She is absolutely beautiful!  I hope baby, momma and family are doing well.

Don, happy anniversary wishes to you and Liz.  I'm so glad you had a good week-end.

Bobby, it was so good to hear from you.  I hope you will stay in touch!

Jim, the countdown is on!  Less than a month til the wedding.

Diane and Dick, do you have some cooler weather yet?   We did for a few days, but these last few days have been summer again.  It is just so dry here.

Would love to hear from Kathy, Janie, Judy and some others that we have not heard from in a while too.

Everybody have a good week!

Connie Morgan (White)

***WE HAVE A DATE ****

How does Sunday afternoon, October 24 sound for an "informal" Fall get- together??

I'd love to have you come here if that's o.k.  (but if someone wants it someplace else, that is fine too)

Time:  2 p.m. until....

Who's invited:  anyone that was ever a part of the OCHS Class of 1968 and their spouses

Dress:  very casual   (shorts, jeans, flip flops, etc...)

Food:  the usual - snacks / finger foods / desserts

I will furnish plates, cups, forks, ice, drinks (water, coke, diet coke, ...)

Entertainment : swapping old stories and tall tales  - and lots of laughing         :)    

If the weather is o.k., we will sit outside  (I have several chairs, but if some of you could bring a folding chair, that would be good)  If it is too hot, cold, or raining, we'll just move inside.

PLEASE let me know if you think Oct. 24 is o.k.     If it is, I'll probably give out some lists of names and ask some of you to contact folks.  -  In the past, trying to call everyone has probably been the hardest part.   I do want to let people know pretty soon, so hopefully they can plan to come.

If you read it on this site and can respond, that would be helpful.       If you would be willing to make some calls, please let me know that too.

Any questions, please call me @ 706-743-5212.    Love you all, and I do hope to see you soon!

Gary Grice

Welcome to Monday - and a new week.   Bobby, it sure was great to hear from you.  Please keep in touch and let us know how you are doing.  I will keep you in my prayers.

What a WEEK and WEEKEND I went through.  Full of more ups and downs than the Great American Scream Machine!  I was too tired to work at my rental house Friday nite so I just chilled on the sofa but got an early start Saturday AM.  Planned on having everything done by noon in order to have some time to rest before Sherron got home from Hickory.  Well - I quit about 3:00.  Sherron was late leaving Hickory and rolled into the driveway about 4:00.  Quick showers and OUT THE DOOR.  Stopped at BK for a quick bite in route to pick up our youngest (Erin) and head to funeral home in Hartwell for visitation for Sherron's cousin.  We got home about 9:30 and don't remember my head hitting the pillow.  Overslept Sunday morning and didn't make it to church but managed to get to SS.  Rushed home, quick bite to eat and OUT THE DOOR to go to the funeral in Hartwell.  For any trying to catch up, Sherron's cousin ended his life last Wednesday after encountering some very difficult circumstances.  Although Sherron remembers him as a kid, family contact had been very limited in his adult years until approximate three years ago, when I first met Bob.  The funeral was "interesting" to say the least.  Blended was used to describe the "family" though it looked more like oil and water to me.  The chapel was packed.  Approximately 50 law enforcement, 75 family and the remaining 200+ (?).  

The funeral procession, lead by approximate 20 law enforcement vehicles crossed Hart, Elbert and Oglethorpe Counties to a family cemetery in Sandy Cross some 40+ miles from the funeral home.  Access to the burial site was down a one lane farm road over which I feared several times my car wasn't going to make it.  We passed under two deer stands along the way - just to give you an idea of how far back in the woods it was.  When we arrived at the cemetery there wasn't enough room for all of the cars and we had to do some jockeying in an open field before exiting.  The grave side ceremony was very moving with full Georgia State Patrol Honor Guard and bagpiper.  Flags were presented to his wife and mother before hearing the "last call".  I don't know if any of you have ever experienced this but boy is it moving.  All was quiet and we heard a call from a nearby police cruiser.  At first you think, "why didn't they turn off their radios", and then you realize they are calling out his badge number. I forget his number but you hear.  "123".  "123".  "123 has gone home to be with the Lord", "104".  Although the cemetery was "out of the way", it sits on a vista with a beautiful view in the distance.  One of those many small family plots that dot the county.

If that wasn't enough emotion for the week, we left the cemetery and headed straight to church where my nephew was being ordained as a Deacon.  I was honored to have the opportunity to pray over him as well as two others being ordained.  We are so proud of Matt (my nephew) and Sara (his wife).  The icing on the cake was getting to see Jesse Allen and Elaine McGarity (Charles' wife) as well as Tim Bramlett (class of '69).  Jesse Allen let it slip that he does read these post occasionally so ya'll be careful what you say about HIM! 

Well, its Monday and I've bored you all enough!  I'm exhausted but blessed.  It is strange and unexplainable how blessings can come out of tragedies.  I had the privilege of ministering in a small way to members of Bob's family this weekend and for that I am truly thankful.  And to see my nephew become a servant/leader in his church is awesome!  And I just posted a new picture of our latest little blessing.  I pray you ALL will be as blessed as I have been.   Later.

Diane Harris (Moore)

Donald Chandler

"You load sixteen tons, what do you get?...     Another day older and deeper in debt..."        Tennessee Ernie Ford, 1955

Connie… October 24th sounds like a good choice to me.  Thanks for inviting us back to your home.  You are always a wonderful hostess.  I hope Liz and I can be there, but, as I said, we may not know for certain until the time comes, depending on how she feels.

We had a nice anniversary weekend.  Friday night we went to a friend’s 60th birthday party (another sexagenarian is on the loose).  The party was a lot of fun… celebrating the 50’s and 60’s with a live band playing oldies but goodies, dancing, and chili dogs and hamburgers served by “Varsity” impersonators complete with little red paper hats… whadayahave?, whadayahave?  There were also door prizes… $10 gift cards to Chili’s Restaurant.  I won one of those by answering a trivia question.  After the band played “Sixteen Tons“, they asked if anyone knew who had a #1 hit with that song.  I have used some of my dormant brain cells to store away that, until now, useless information.   

Saturday was our actual anniversary and I fixed a big late morning brunch for my bride, and then we went out to dinner later in the day… to have sirloin and shrimp at California Dreaming, a restaurant we had never tried before.  And then Sunday School and Church on Sunday completed a nice weekend.

The only thing that could have made it a better weekend would have been a Georgia Bulldog victory on Saturday.  I really thought they were going to win that game when they came back to tie it with those two fourth quarter touchdowns… but, alas, the Hawgs beat the Dawgs.  Looks like it might be a tough year with a new defense in place (that doesn't tackle very well) and a redshirt freshman quarterback.  But I REALLY like Aaron Murray… I think he will be a VERY GOOD quarterback with a little more game experience.  But I wish he had a better offensive coordinator working with him.   Of course it doesn’t help matters that A.J. Green is suspended for 4 games.  I think we could have beaten both South Carolina and Arkansas with him in the lineup.  Oh well…   All the sports news was not bad… the Braves swept three games from the Mets in New York!  I always love to beat the Mets!  And it would be nice to take two out of the next three games with the Phillies starting tonight… a tough order.  And the Falcons won yesterday too!

Gary… I’m sorry to hear of the circumstances surrounding the death of Sherron’s cousin.  I know it has to be tough on the family, but it sounds like it was a wonderful service honoring his memory. 

And, by the way Gary…I will tune in “Pawn Stars” and “American Pickers” tonight.  I checked them out last week and liked them both… especially “Porn Stars”… uhhh, I mean “Pawn Stars.”  You know, I don't think I have ever been in a pawn shop in my life. 

And I’m with you Connie… it would be very nice to hear from some of our other classmates now and then.  What happened to Kathy?  I did not get to know Bobby Sparks since I was only at OCHS my Junior and Senior years (1966-1968), but it is nice to hear from him too.  Welcome Bobby!... and thank you for serving our country! 

Thanks for the kind words, Diane.  I guess you and Dick are having cooler weather up there in Ohio.  It’s still very warm here in the South, but Fall is on the way.

And one more thing...  I stopped by my favorite bookstore to browse at lunchtime today.  They already have hundreds of different 2011 calendars for sale and it's still summer!  Anyway, I love calendars and they have just about any subject you can think of.  Two that really stood out were "Outhouses" and "Toilets of the World".  Yes folks, each month you can have a different outhouse, in full color, for your viewing pleasure… great for home or office.  Thought I would pass that along (so to speak) for any of you trying to come up with unique gift ideas for your friends.    

Have a great week folks.

Gary Grice

Just got back from my too periodic Dr. visit and another round of "let's try this".  I really do believe they "practice" medicine.  I wish they would quite practicing on me.  Ran by Lowe's while I was out and ran into Benny Allen.  Never know who you might run into!

Diane, you are partially correct.  Robert (Bob) was Ted's son but not Patsy's.  Their had sons, Joe and Tim.  One died in an auto accident and the other was killed by lightening.  No chiggers from the cemetery but the ants had a feast. 

Don, sounds like you had a GREAT anniversary.  Hope you enjoyed Pawn Stars and the Pickers last evening.  "Chum Lee"!! Hilarious!!!!!  A while back one of our animal control officers thought he heard a goat in the woods behind their facility.  Everyone fanned out through the woods in search of the goat in distress.  As they got closer to the sound, it appeared to be coming from up in a tree!  Further investigation revealed that the sound was being created by a couple of limbs rubbing together in the wind.  Needless to say, this incident prompted many jokes about "goats in trees" .....  until I found this list of calendars.  And lest anyone feel you have stretched the truth a wee bit concerning a calendar of outhouses, I offer Exhibit A for their review. 

Connie, if we have no objections raised here over the next couple of days, I'll send out an e-mail to everyone announcing the get together.  I really look forward to seeing everyone again!

Hope everyone is having a blessed week.  Later.

Connie Morgan (White)

Gary, I was sorry to hear of Sherron's cousin's death - but your description of the funeral was very interesting and touching.   How is your new grandbaby doing?

Don, I loved Tennessee Ernie Ford and remember that song well.    I do hope Y'all will be able to come in Oct.,  but I understand if Liz can't travel because of her back.  I hope you will come for the afternoon anyway.

Diane, you know that I am hoping you and Dick will someway be able to make it to Ga. ..

Gary, I appreciate you helping "spread the word" if that date seems o.k.   Other than talking to Linda Wheless, I have not heard anything other than what's been posted on this site.

I've  placed everyone's name on some lists, so am still asking for "volunteers" to make some calls in the next couple of weeks.  (it would be 10 people or less  to call)   

Jim, hope you are holding up o.k. with all the wedding planning and festivities.

Gary Grice

Well just a few more hours and the summer of 2010 will be history!  I love the fall with its cool nights and crisp days and the changing leaves. 

Grand baby is doing great!  I'll post another picture on my profile page.

Pretty quiet around here this morning but I did happen to find something that Don likes.  So brother Don ..... HERE'S YOUR SIGN!  Later.

Donald Chandler

LOL!  Gary... I think this may just be another way that our "pubic" schools are trying to compete with "privates" schools.  LOL!

Well, mates, tis the season of change... It will still be summer when I go to church tonight, but fall will be here before I go to bed.  I LOVE fall!  Cooler weather on the way... :-)

Have a great Hump Day!!!

Where are you, Jim?  I need your help with the Braves!!!

Gary Grice

So last night I was channel surfing and what should I come across, ..... "Hardcore Porn ..." I mean "Pawn".  (Had to use Don's joke.)  Its supposed to be a reality show like "Pawn Stars" but not as "sophisticated".  Unless you just feel brain dead and have nothing else to do, you can probably skip this one.  Okay so I was feeling brain dead.  This "award winning" show was followed by "Ma's Roadhouse".  Another waste of time.  From the short time I watched, Ma's Roadhouse is a bar/restaurant/motorcycle/tattoo/? business.  This week's plot focused on the conflict with a competitor (who knew there was a demand for more than one of these shops) named "Tits and Tats".  I'm not kidding.  It was run by a fired ex-employee.  I'll bet you already guessed that.  The sub-plot had the health inspector catching Ma smoking while cooking and his threat to shut them down.  Of course Ma had a solution.  Bring in the waitress with a halter top about to fall off.  I'll bet you already guessed that too.  If you believe professional wrestling is "real", and you never can guess who is going to win, you will probably enjoy both of these "reality" shows.  

Then we have a man on death row who attempts to kill himself.  He fails and is saved from the consequences of his actions.  What's wrong with this picture?  Can't put a man to death who murdered three people (two children) and then attempted suicide - he might not be "mentally competent".  MY OPINION, he was a few bricks shy of a load when he murdered those folks but he still knew what he was doing.  I have a solution.  Let him push the plunger to admininster the lethal injection.  Problem solved - next!!!!

Well if you haven't guessed, I'm in one of those "moods", so I had better quit before I type something offensive.  Hope you all have a GREAT first day of fall.  Later.

Donald Chandler

Well, Gary... I got home from church last night in time to see the Braves lose a tough pitching duel 1-0 to the Phillies.  A great game except that my team was on the short end of the stick.  I didn't see those shows you are talking about, and from the sound of it, I think I will just stick with "Pawn Stars" and "American Pickers"..  I really do like "Pawn Stars"... and I like the characters on there that run that shop... all three generations... and "Chum Lee" too!  :-)  And they really do have some interesting things come through the door...  Colonel Sanders' suit, a double eagle gold piece, Presidential autographs, a signed hockey stick by the 1980 USA Olympic Hockey Team, A Bob Dylan record album, NASA Apollo photos & negatives, etc. etc.  I love that stuff.  My favorite was the guy who had the massive collection of old TV western hero toys, comics, and lunch boxes.  I would love to have some of that collection myself.  I mentioned that I have never in my life visited a pawn shop, but I think I will find one and check it out, just for a new experience.  Might be fun.  And it's all your fault!  :-)

I'm sticking with the Braves until the last game of the World Series... or the bitter end... whichever comes first.  I am a hopeless Braves fan!  And I'm sticking with the Dawgs too.

Gary Grice

Don your time was better spent watching the Braves lose than watching "Hardcore Pawn" and "Ma's Roadhouse".  I took Sherron to a pawn store for her first time in Hickory a few weeks back.  She couldn't grasp why people would leave their stuff there. When I explained to her that a lot of the stuff was probably stolen, she understood - though the shop owner was a LITTLE offended.  I find them interesting to browse though I don't recall ever buying anything.  I'm always looking for a REAL bargain and they are trying to make a profit.  I want it a what they paid for it. 

President Adams finally had enough of the athletic criminal element.  Must be hitting the pocket book a little.  Other wise he would probably be issuing a "boys will be boys" statement.  I guess I just expect too much.  I would have a zero tolerance.  If you aren't mature enough to obey a few civil laws, you aren't mature enough to play sports.  No offense to all the athletic, uh ... sports supporters, but we have too much athlete (and celebrity) worship in this country.  College sports has become BIG BUSINESS.  Too bad. 

We combined celebrating Miss Shirley's birthday with the Festival of Booths last evening.  Great evening to do so with the fulll moon.   Hopefully, I have nothing to do this evening.  I need a day of rest real bad .... but my to-do list keeps growing. 

Hope the Braves can rally for a good finish - just so Bobby can go out on a positive note, if nothing else.  Here's wishing all a blessed evening.  Later.

Jimmy Willis

Hello Mates!

Well September has been NO Fun! The Braves have decided to just

GO Fishing! The Dawgs have got no bite! Man what a BUMMER! I

think nap time is coming early this year. Look out deers here I come.

Just go hide! That way you want get shot and my nap want be

disturbed! All in all I guess we still got each other right?

I think I'll just take off this afternoon and catch up with my Zzzzzz!

Have a great weekend guys! By the way---HAPPY BIRTHDAY LOUISE

and you to ROSS! I hope you guys have many many more!

Jim

Kathy Carter (Campbell)

Hi everyone,

You are right, Don, I havenot checked in for quite q while.Been trying to catch up up on posts from everyone. Sorry that it's been so long since I posted anything. We have been busy keeping granddaughters for part of the summer and I have been having isssues with depression and just haven't felt like posting, haven't even checked in for a while. Went to the mountains for a week w/Vera, needed to get away for a while.This week we have had 3 fuerals & all that entails(preparing food for families). I'm sorry that I am just rambling, but I've had some struggles & battles lately, but am doing a bit better now.Have posted some on FB this summer. I want to apologize to all who had/have Sept. birthdays for not sending you a card or wishing you h/bday. I totally missed the boat on ALL Sept. bdays. I see where there will be a gathering in Oct. at Connie's Connie I got your call today when I got home. I would love to be there, but won't be able to make it. I am having carpal tunnel surgery on Fri., 22nd. so I will be drunk that weekend from pain medicine. Hope you all have a great time.(this looks like I am drunk now.)Congrats to everyone on births, marriages, etc. Hope I won't be so long about checking back in. Please say a prayer for me, I really need it right now Love you all.

Diane Harris (Moore)

Donald Chandler

“Fire on the mountain, run boys, run… The devil's in the house of the risin' sun…  Chicken in the bread pan, pickin' out dough… ‘Granny, does your dog bite?’… ‘No, child, no.’”                            (Charlie Daniels, 1979)  

Good Monday, Mates.  Hope you all had a great weekend!

My weekend was good and bad.  Liz and I started out FRIDAY night at Chili’s Restaurant (good), then visited Big Chicken Pawn Shop (bad), then a new thrift store (bad), then the Farmer’s Market (good), then came home to watch the Braves lose (bad).  SATURDAY I cleaned out my gutters (good), vacuumed the carpet (good), watched the Braves win (good), and watched the Bulldogs lose (bad).  Sunday, we went to Sunday School (good) and Church Service (good), watched the Braves lose (bad) while also watching the Falcons beat the World Champion New Orleans Saints (good), watched Masterpiece Mystery (good), and got 1.3 inches of rain (good).

By the way… at our Sunday Worship Service, we had a special guest visitor in the congregation… GUBERnatorial candidate NATHAN DEAL.  I don’t know if that was good or bad.  We always know when election time is near when we have politicians making the rounds to visit area churches, including ours, never to be seen again… until the next election.  I’m sure I will vote for Nathan Deal because I can no longer vote for a Democrat/Socialist, but they sure are making hay over these investigations into Deal’s financial “deals”.  Sometimes you don’t know who to believe.

Do any of you mates like “fairs”?  The North Georgia State Fair is here in Cobb County this week.  They usually have some pretty good exhibits and shows (Liz's back can't handle the rides anymore)... and a good lineup of concerts too… usually good ole country music!  Liz and I have not been to a fair in about 15 years or so, but we are planning to go Thursday if the weather permits and if her body parts can handle it for a few hours.  Charlie Daniels is giving a concert Thursday night, and we would both enjoy seeing him.  I think he is more well known now for his Geico “mean fiddle” commercial than he is for “The Devil Went Down to Georgia”.  He is also an American Patriot!

Kathy… I am sorry that you have not been feeling well.  Our thoughts and prayers are with you.  Keep in touch with us here on the forum.

And Dick… hope you get a good report on that colonoscopy.  I had one not too many years ago myself.  The preparation is always worse than the procedure, but “young” folks like us do need to be checked now and then.

Gary… I may try another pawn shop.  Big Chicken Pawn Shop (right next door to our famous “Big Chicken”) was a real bummer… mostly power tools and used DVDs.  And the place smelled like a garage.

Jim... you are right about September being "no fun" so far for sports fans, but don't go hunting and napping yet... maybe things will get better.

Have a good week mates.  Reporting live from Wonderfully Wet Marietta… this is Don.

Jimmy Willis

HELLO MATES!

HEY DICK, I TOLD YOU THAT SEPTEMBER WAS A BUMMER! HOPE

EVERYTHING COMES OUT OK! SORRY BROTHER JUST COULDN'T

HELP MYSELF. I REALLY DO HOPE YOU COME CLEAN!

I BETTER LEAVE WHILE I CAN.

LATER!!!

Gary Grice

Darn it!  I knew I waited too long to post and now Jim went and stole my line!!!  Kathy, if you need cheering up - swap places with Dick!  Both of your situations are too common for folks "our age".  Got to continually have a check-up and most importantly - from the neck up.  Seems like more folks I know are dying everyday and my body and brain just don't work like they used to.  No wonder we get depressed - but then I think about all the wonderful people I've had the pleasure to know, all the beautiful sites I've seen, all the beautiful sounds I've heard, holding my newborn babies, (and sometimes all the pretty girls I've kissed) and I feel soooooo blessed to still be here.  Its okay to be melancholy but all you cut out the depressed stuff!!! 

Don sounds like you had a full weekend.  We WORKED at our rental house all day Saturday and went to a charity gospel concert that evening.  It was for the children of Larry Townsend, a young minister from Bogart killed along 316 earlier this year.  Sunday, we swam to church and SS and then had someone come look at the house.  Looks like we have a renter.  To celebrate we went and got a Blizzard, since we had a BOGOF (buy one get one free) coupon.  Oh, and we had to make our all too often stop at the pharmacy for monthly resupply.  All in all, a good weekend.  I'm really excited about the coming weekend.  We are going to Hickory so I get to see my new grand daughter.  Can't wait for Friday to get here.  I hope you all have a blessed week.  Later.

Kathy Carter (Campbell)

Hope everyone had a good weekend.We had a great worship service at church Sunday and then the kids carried us out to lunch for belated granparents day at the Persimmon Hill Golf Club. Had a great timew/them, just too short.

We are getting some MUCH NEEDED rain and I'm so glad, even though it makes me just want to stay in bed.Rabun carried me to Aiken today on some business we had to do and had a nice lunch at the BBQ Barn, otherwise I would not have even gotten dressed today.Dr' tells me I need to get out whenever I can.

We are facing some serious decisions in the next few months and in the coming year so I ask that you pray that we will make the right choices.

I hope that all of you who can make it to Connie's will have a great time.Rabun & I certainly enjoyed being her house guest for a few days this summer.

We are going to Amelia Island on the 5th-10th and are looking forward to it. My sister, Vera & Brenda & her husband David will be going to. Rabun & David plan to fish if we have good weather, hope we do for their sakes.

So sad that the bulldogs are having a bad season thus far. Maybe things will get better for them. I hear that the braves have been struggling, sorry for you baseball fans.

Hope all of you everywhere are getting some needed rain also and wishing you all a good week.

Jimmy Willis

MORNING FOLKS!

     HOPE  EVERYONE'S DOING FINE THIS BEAUTIFUL MORNING. DICK I

TAKE IT everything STILL FUNCTIONAL. OR IS THAT THE FADING

SOUNDS OF THE DREADED PO PO BIRD THAT CAN BE HEARD WAY

UP NORTH. ALL KIDDING ASIDE. THOSE TEST ARE BAD MAN! ANYWAY,

ALL THOSE MEMORIES HAVE BEEN FLUSHED AWAY RIGHT?!!!

HAVE A GREAT DAY FOLKS!

Diane Harris (Moore)

Donald Chandler

Did ya ever have one of those days?...

Couldn't even find your mouse?...

Maybe a little cat-nap would help...

Gary Grice

Ahhhh... a wonderful crisp fall morning here in the Classic City.  I was offered a parking spot adjacent to our building here behind City Hall yesterday, but declined.  I really do enjoy the three block walk every morning from the Courthouse parking deck.  Especially on these cool mornings.  There is something special about feeling the city wake up each new day.  I guess we should thank Diane for this first taste of fall - since she sent it our way.  The rain made everything green again as all of the leaves got a good washing. 

Jim be careful out there deer hunting.  I heard this morning the score is Hunters 0 and Deer 2!  Another man fell out of a tree and died yesterday.  My brother-in-law fell getting into his stand many moons ago and still suffers from his injuries.   He broke his arm, leg and back in the fall.

Don your picture reminds me of a near disaster I got involved in a few years back.  I was painting for this friend who had an interior decorating business.  One of her clients was in the process of completing her doctorate in literature and was putting the finishing touches on her thesis - on her laptop.  Her cat walked across the keyboard and it appeared that all of her work was lost.  I knew a lot more about computers than I do now and was able to help her recover all of her work.  She learned what "backup" means and fashioned a cardboard cut out to place over the keyboard anytime she stepped away from the computer.

Well I guess I should get to work.  I hope everyone has a blessed week.  Later. 

Gary Grice

Something just told me .....   I just read that today is "ask a stupid question day".  Which explains a lot of what's been going on.  Well we can't let it slip away, so to "celebrate" this day, here's a list of stupid questions:  I thought about adding my own but didn't want to appear stupid.  Later.  Oh, Happy Ask a Stupid Question Day!

• Why does your gynecologist leave the room when you undress?
• Why can’t woman put their mascara on with their mouth closed?
• Why is it called alcoholics anonymous when the first thing you do is stand up and say “Hi, my name’s Bob. I’m an alcoholic”?
• If you mated a Bulldog with a Shitsu would you get a Bullshit?
• Why are they called stairs inside but steps outside?
• Why is there a light in the fridge but not in the freezer?
• Who was the first person to look at a cow and say “I think I’ll squeeze these dangly things here and drink what comes out”?
• Why does Goofy stand on two legs when Pluto remains on four? They’re both dogs.
• Why is a person who handles money called a broker?
• If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests?
• If a man is walking in a forest and no women is there to hear him is he still wrong?
• Why is it that when someone tells you that there’s billions of stars in the universe, you believe them. But if they tell you there’s wet paint somewhere you have to touch it?
• Why do you call it an asteroid when its outside the hemisphere, yet call it hemorrhoid when its in your ass?
• Who was the first person to go up to a chicken and say, “I’m going to eat the first thing this chicken poops?