Connie Morgan (White)

Gary, I love snow cream!     One of my sons called yesterday to ask how to make it.  Fun!

Diane Harris (Moore)

 Well, obviously it is just snowy and cold everywhere!! I can't get over the weather y'all are having. But I think you have discovered the downside of all that pretty stuff. After about 2 days, you're ready for it to go away, but it won't. Then it gets dirty, and when it finally does melt, the ground is all squishy and soggy. But, it's an adventure, and that's just the attitude you gotta take. From what I am picking up on though from what I'm reading on facebook (yes, I do facebook!) I can tell that cabin fever is setting in. I'm used to that. I did not gain weight until I moved to Ohio, and now I blame my catastrophic poundage on these Ohio winters! 

No news, as usual. Just saying "hey" and commenting on Don's beautiful snowy photos, and saying how good it was to hear reports from Gary and Connie. 

Dick plans to leave in the morning for Philly, IF the planes are landing there, that is. He stayed home and worked from here today while our snow was falling hard. 

Don, I did not see Secretariat, but you should read the book "Unbroken". It's written by the author of Secretariat, and is a very inspiring true story. I gave a copy to each of our sons this Christmas.

Stay strong, my friends! Spring will come! Sooner for you than for me. Remember the words of "Annie"--- "The sun'll come out tomorrow". May the ice melt soon. Those pretty little daffodils are working hard to push up through that heavy sod in just a few weeks.

Diane Harris (Moore)

 Er, excuse me, Don, but I told you wrong. That book was authored by the woman who wrote "Seabiscuit". I got my horses mixed up. So, never mind.......

Gary Grice

HI, HO, HI, HO, its back to work I go.  No matter how bad the snow, its back to work I go.  My next selection will be "Slip Sliding Away".  Hope everyone is doing well on this blustery day.  So, either there is no such thing as Global Warming or all of the carbon credits have been TOO successful.  Wonder what Big Al will say?  Forty-eight continential states have snow.  Only Florida remains snow free.  Well lest I go on a rant, I would like to share some quotes to brighten your day.  There's something here for everyone.  Later.

Sometimes, when I look at my children, I say to myself, 'Lillian, you should have remained a virgin.'- Lillian Carter (mother of Jimmy Carter)

I had a rose named after me and I was very flattered. But I was not pleased to read the description in the catalogue: - 'No good in a bed, but fine against a wall.'- Eleanor Roosevelt

Last week, I stated this woman was the ugliest woman I had ever seen. I have since been visited by her sister, and now wish to withdraw that statement.- Mark Twain

The secret of a good sermon is to have a good beginning and a good ending; and to have the two as close together as possible.- George Burns

Gary Grice

Happy Thursday!  We've almost made it through another week.  Hopefully it will warm up out there today and those pesky patches of ice will go away.  Ya'll (anyone in any state but Florida) be carefull of the snow and ice.  OBTW - (oh by the way) looks like a new record snow fall for Athens.  I hate that Global Warming!  Here's a little chuckle to help you make it through the day.  Later.

"The car won't start," said a wife to her husband. "I think there's water in the carburetor."

"How do you know?" said the husband scornfully. "You don't even know what the carburetor is."

"I'm telling you," repeated the wife, "I'm sure there's water in the carburetor."

"We'll see," mocked the husband. "Let me check it out. Where's the car?"

"In the swimming pool."

Donald Chandler

Can you say, "Cabin Fever"?!!! 

Liz and I are still stuck at home... can't get out of our driveway. I think it is more treacherous out now than it was on Monday. I could not even get out to our mailbox late yesterday on foot. What was a soft and crunchy blanket of snow is now just a sheet of ice. Every step was slippery. Our yard and driveway slope up to the street and are like a skating rink... rock hard and slippery as glass. Where I could walk earlier is now very dangerous..

If you go out, mates, watch EVERY step and drive VERY carefully. I know everyone has cabin fever, but if you don't HAVE to get out, it is still best to stay home!  :-(

Connie Morgan (White)

We had to go back to work yesterday.  It took me 2 hours to get home from work last night.   Just awful...   But I was thankful to be safe.    There is still a lot of ice on the road today, but made the trip home in 1 hour.

I do hope all of you will be safe.

Gary Grice

Connie, sorry you had a rough commute but so happy you are safe.  The roads are greatly improve along my commute this morning but still icy in the city.  I hope everyone else was able to survive this week without incident.  This lady in my office has had to ride their tractor about a mile each morning and evening just to get to a vehicle to come to work.  Before I forget, let me be the first to wish Pam a VERY HAPPY BIRTHDAY!  May it be a blessed day with much celebration. As I searched the net for something worthwhile to post, I came across these guidelines for New Year's Resolutions.  Since, according to statistics, most of us have already abandoned any we made, I thought these might be helpful as we make a second run at creating a better year than the last.  I hope you find something here worth your time.  Hope you ALL have a very BLESSED weekend.  Later.

Among the top New Year’s resolutions, there are plenty of ideas related to health and wellness. Most of these have more to do with physical health like shrinking waistlines and nixing bad habits than they have to do with boosting emotional health and wellness. But 2011 could be just the year to start taking care of your head and your heart.

Here are some tips from Sylvia Davis of WebMD:

• Collect friends. Research shows people with lots of social support are happier.
• Enjoy solitude. Stop and listen to your thoughts.
• Seek pleasure. Do something positive and pleasurable every day.
• Find a passion. Make a list of things that interest you and dive in.
• Plan for problems. It’s a fact of life that things will sometimes go wrong. Mitigate the issues you can predict and learn to accept those you can’t.
• Seek constructive criticism. Ask others to help you improve yourself as an employee and a person.
• Take healthy risks. Leave your comfort zone.
• Write it down. List your fears on paper, but follow them with positives, like things you are grateful for.
• Protect yourself from “Energy Vampires.” Distance yourself from people who bring you down and find friends who are uplifting.

The new year is the perfect time to start fresh. What changes will you make this year to become a healthier, happier person?

Gary Grice

Later, I'm on my way to Lowe's, Wal-mart......

Diane Harris (Moore)

  So THAT'S what's been happening to all of Dick's wallets!!!!!!!

Thanks, Gary, for the big old laugh!

Jimmy Willis

WHERE DID YOU SAY THESE GIRLS WITH THE LITTLE BLACK DRESSES ARE?

ME THINKS ME BOUT TO LOSE MY WALLET!!!

Gary Grice

Well here it is MONDAY again!  I'm glad I got to come back to work today - I work TOO HARD when I off.  Almost couldn't get going this A.M.  I trust everyone had a great weekend and you men didn't loose too many billfolds!  Kind of gloomy around here this morning so I thought the following might brighten your day.  Later.

Returning home from work, a blonde was shocked to find her house ransacked and burglarized. She telephoned the police at once and reported the crime. The police dispatcher broadcast the call on the radio, and a K-9 unit, patrolling nearby, was the first to respond.

As the K-9 officer approached the house with his dog on a leash, the blonde ran out on the porch, shuddered at the sight of the cop and his dog, then sat down on the steps.

Putting her face in her hands, she moaned, 'I come home to find all my possessions stolen. I call the police for help, and what do they do? They send me a BLIND policeman!'

*****

A blonde is speaking to her psychiatrist.
"I'm on the road a lot, and my clients are complaining that they can never reach me."
Psychiatrist: "Don't you have a phone in your car?"
Blonde: "That was a little too expensive, so I did the next best thing. I put a mailbox in my car."
Psychiatrist: "Uh ... How's that working?"
Blonde: "Actually, I haven't gotten any letters yet."
Psychiatrist: "And why do you think that is?"
Blonde: "I figure it's because when I'm driving around, my zip code keeps changing."
 

*****

A man was in his front yard gardening when his attractive blond female neighbor came out of the house and went straight to the mailbox. She opened it then slammed it shut and stormed back in the house.
A little later she came out and again went to the mail box, opened it and slammed it shut again. Angrily, back into the house she went. As the man was getting ready to edge the lawn, here she came out again, marched to the mail box, opened it and then slammed it closed harder than ever.
Puzzled by her actions the man asked her, "Is something wrong?"
She replied, "There certainly is! My stupid computer keeps saying, ‘YOU'VE GOT MAIL.’"

Diane Harris (Moore)

   OK, OK, I just heard a joke and I want to try and tell it before I forget the punch line, which I will.

Let's see. Here goes.

A man was sitting on the couch watching TV, while his wife is preparing supper in the kitchen. 

He hears her sweet voice ask, "Sweetie, what do you want to eat tonight? Beef, lamb, or chicken?"

He answers back and says, "Thanks, Hon. I think chicken sounds good".

She responds, "Not you, idiot! I'm talking to the cat. You get soup!"

I know it's not about a blonde or a black dress or man parts being amputated, but it's a start.

Gary Grice

Diane, that joke would be a lot funnier if it wasn't so true (and contained a line about a blonde or a little black dress)!  Just kidding.   Sherron would never pull that on me - I hope!  Well my bad week is almost over and hopefully tomorrow's infusion will bring some relief.  I got delayed due to weather and I'm hoping that's the only problem.  The fact that I WAY over did it working around the house last weekend had NOTHING to do with it I'm sure.  Never thought I would look forward to getting stuck.  Tomorrow is Sherron's birthday also so we are going to make a date out of my usual solo trip to Gainesville.  She still has to show her id to get her (55) senior discount.  Most clerks think I'm already on SS!  I guess I need a touch of the shoe polish or Greecian Formula!  I tried some of that stuff on my beard when it started turning grey and it set me on fire!!  I shaved my beard to keep from looking so old.  Let's face it, I don't have too much left to remove before I look like a new born!  Well not much else to report from the Classic City.  I hope everyone has had a good week and will enjoy a very BLESSED weekend.  Later.

Gary Grice

Could this be why we haven't heard from Jim for a while?  Was it one of those camo deer?  I hope you are okay Jim!  Later.

*******

I had this idea that I was going to rope a deer, put it in a stall, feed it up on corn for a couple of weeks, then kill it and eat it.

The first step in this adventure was getting a deer. I figured that, since they congregate at my cattle feeder and do not seem to have much fear of me when we are there (a bold one will sometimes come right up and sniff at the bags of feed while I am in the back of the truck not 4 feet away), it should not be difficult to rope one, get up to it and toss a bag over its head (to calm it down) then hog tie it and transport it home.

I filled the cattle feeder then hid down at the end with my rope.

The cattle, having seen the roping thing before, stayed well back. They were not having any of it.

After about 20 minutes, my deer showed up -- 3 of them. I picked out a likely looking one, stepped out from the end of the feeder, and threw my rope. The deer just stood there and stared at me.

I wrapped the rope around my waist and twisted the end so I would have a good hold. The deer still just stood and stared at me, but you could tell it was mildly concerned about the whole rope situation.

I took a step towards it...it took a step away. I put a little tension on the rope and then received an education.

The first thing that I learned is that, while a deer may just stand there, looking at you funny while you rope it, they are spurred to action when you start pulling on that rope.

That deer EXPLODED.

The second thing I learned is that pound for pound, a deer is a LOT stronger than a cow or a colt. A cow or a colt in that weight range I could fight down with a rope and with some dignity.

A deer--no chance.

That thing ran and bucked and twisted and pulled. There was no controlling it and certainly no getting close to it. As it jerked me off my feet and started dragging me across the ground, it occurred to me that having a deer on a rope was not nearly as good an idea as I had originally imagined.

The only up side is that they do not have as much stamina as many other animals.

A brief 10 minutes later, it was tired and not nearly as quick to jerk me off my feet and drag me when I managed to get up. It took me a few minutes to realize this, since I was mostly blinded by the blood flowing out of the big gash in my head. At that point, I had lost my taste for corn-fed venison.

I just wanted to get that devil creature off the end of that rope.

I figured if I just let it go with the rope hanging around its neck, it would likely die slow and painfully somewhere. At the time, there was no love at all between me and that deer. At that moment, I hated the thing, and I would venture a guess that the feeling was mutual..

Despite the gash in my head and the several large knots where I had cleverly arrested the deer's momentum by bracing my head against various large rocks as it dragged me across the ground, I could still think clearly enough to recognize that there was a small chance that I shared some tiny amount of responsibility for the situation we were in, so I didn't want the deer to have to suffer a slow death, so I managed to get it lined back up in between my truck and the feeder - a little trap I had set before hand...kind of like a squeeze chute.

I got it to back in there and I started moving up so I could get my rope back.

Did you know that deer bite? They do! I never in a million years would have thought that a deer would bite somebody, so I was very surprised when I reached up there to grab that rope and the deer grabbed hold of my wrist.

Now, when a deer bites you, it is not like being bit by a horse where they just bite you and then let go. A deer bites you and shakes its head-almost like a pit bull. They bite HARD and it hurts.

The proper thing to do when a deer bites you is probably to freeze and draw back slowly. I tried screaming and shaking instead. My method was ineffective.

It seems like the deer was biting and shaking for several minutes, but it was likely only several seconds.

I, being smarter than a deer (though you may be questioning that claim by now), tricked it.

While I kept it busy tearing the tendons out of my right arm, I reached up with my left hand and pulled that rope loose. That was when I got my final lesson in deer behavior for the day.

Deer will strike at you with their front feet. They rear right up on their back feet and strike right about head and shoulder level, and their hooves are surprisingly sharp. I learned a long time ago that, when an animal --like a horse -- strikes at you with their hooves and you can't get away easily, the best thing to do is try to make a loud noise and make an aggressive move towards the animal. This will usually cause them to back down a bit so you can escape.

This was not a horse. This was a deer, so obviously, such trickery would not work. In the course of a millisecond, I devised a different strategy. I screamed like a woman and tried to turn and run.

The reason I had always been told NOT to try to turn and run from a horse that paws at you is that there is a good chance that it will hit you in the back of the head. Deer may not be so different from horses after all, besides being twice as strong and 3 times as evil, because the second I turned to run, it hit me right in the back of the head and knocked me down.

Now, when a deer paws at you and knocks you down, it does not immediately leave. I suspect it does not recognize that the danger has passed. What they do instead is paw your back and jump up and down on you while you are laying there crying, like a little girl and covering your head.

I finally managed to crawl under the truck and the deer went away.

So now I know why when people go deer hunting they bring a rifle with a scope to sort of even the odds.

According to Snopes, this might be a true story. They can't find the original author because, according to the rest of the story, he's ashamed to be known as "...the dumbass who tried to rope the deer!"
 

Gary Grice

My apolologies Jim!  I just read back through the messages and saw where you were last seen headed for WalMart, Lowe's, etc. with a fist full of new wallets!!! How about a report on the little black dress window washers!!!   HA! Later.

Gail Gabriel (Wilbanks)

Hi everyone.  Hope all is well with you.  I just read in the Echo that Stephanie Dudley Trammell's husband died on Jan. 13th and the funeral was held on the 17th.  My thoughts and prayers are with Stephanie and I am sure she will appreciate hearing from her classmates. 

I have no other news.  Life is returning to normal here in Winterville after the snow/ice storm.  I was really sick of the mess, but I'm good now.  Hope that is the last we see of it this winter.  Take care everyone.  Love you all.

Gail

Donald Chandler

My sympathies go out to Stephanie and her family on the loss of her husband.  Thanks for letting us know, Gail.  I also sent her an e-mail to let her know that she is in my thoughts and prayers.

Connie Morgan (White)

Gail, thanks for letting us know about Stephanie.  I am very sorry to hear that news.

Happy birthday Sherron!   Gary, I am with you in that no one asks me for ID to prove I am a senior citizen  ):

Gary, I so hope that your treatment goes well and that you feel MUCH better soon!!!

Diane, I know that you are enjoying having Dick home for a long w/e.  (p.s. - I liked your joke)

I hope you all have a good week-end.  Love you guys.

Donald Chandler

Good Morning Mates...

I am a great-great-uncle... again!!!  My great-niece Sarah Maddox Johnson and her husband Jeffery of Elberton, Georgia had their third child and second son on Friday... a fine looking baby boy named JEREMIAH JOHNSON.  You Class of 68'ers probably remember a movie called "Jeremiah Johnson" from 1972 starring Robert Redford as a mountain man with a young Indian wife.  Will Geer (Grandpa Walton) was also in that movie.  It really is a GREAT MOVIE!... one of my all time favorites.  By the way... Baby Jeremiah looks a lot like Robert Redford with no hair and no beard.  And just to let you know... I understand that I am very YOUNG to be a great-great-uncle, but my older sister Helen (12 years older than yours truly) had her first child when she was 19 years old, so Ron and I became uncles when we were only 7 years old... and so it goes.

Hope you all had a great weekend.  Kinda quiet here on the homefront.  Liz and I did go out to eat a couple of times this weekend.  Friday night we went to Dreamland Barbeue (yummy) and Sunday after church we tried this new place that is a combination Hibachi Grill/Sushi Bar/Asian Buffet.  I had the opportunity to check another delicacy off my culinary bucket list... grilled octopus.  I know I should be careful to use the words "octopus" and "bucket list" in the same sentence.  Anyway, these were octopus tentacles and really tasted rather bland with a "gristle-like" texture... not anything I would want again.  At least they were grilled.  They also had baby octopus on the sushi bar... little tiny bite size ones uncooked... NO THANK YOU!

Have a good week mates.  Looks like we may dodge a bullet on this latest winter storm.  By the way... I saw a report a few days ago that it was 46 degrees BELOW ZERO in International Falls, Minnesota.  This global warming thing is really getting out of control.  I do hope our friends Diane and Dick are a little warmer than that in Ohio.

Reporting live from Marietta... this is Don.

Gary Grice

Congrats Don!!!  You are fortunate indeed.  Being an great aunt/uncle is like being a grandparent without the babysitting obligation!!!  All is quiet here in the Classic City so I thought I would take a moment to pass along a legal object lesson for our resident attorney - hope he's checking in.  Hope everyone has a BLESSED week.  Later.

A defendant was on trial for murder. There was very strong evidence indicating guilt, but no corpse had been found. In the defense's closing statement the lawyer, knowing that his client would probably be convicted, decided to try a trick.

"Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, I have a surprise for you all," the lawyer said as he looked at his watch. "Within one minute, the person presumed dead in this case will walk into this courtroom!"

He looked toward the courtroom door. The jurors, somewhat stunned, all looked, eagerly. A minute passed. Nothing happened.

Finally, the lawyer said, "Actually, I made up the previous statement. But you all looked on with anticipation. I therefore put it to you that there is reasonable doubt in this case as to whether anyone was killed and insist that you return a verdict of not guilty."

With that, the jury retired to deliberate. But after only a few minutes, they came back and pronounced a verdict of guilty.

"But how?" the lawyer asked. "You must have had some doubt. I saw all of you stare at the door."

"Oh, yes," the jury foreman replied. "We all looked - but your client didn't!"

Gary Grice

And this little story should interest all us SUTHERNR's, just in case we do have ice and snow again and any municipality south of the Mason Dixon Line procures any highway snow equipment.  Later.

As a trucker stops for a red light, a blonde catches up. She jumps out of her car, runs up to his truck, and knocks on the door.

The trucker lowers the window, and she says “Hi, my name is Heather and you are losing some of your load.” 

 The trucker ignores her and proceeds down the street. When the truck stops for another red light, the girl catches up again.  She jumps out of her car, runs up and knocks on the door. Again, the trucker lowers the window. As if they’ve never spoken, the blonde says brightly, “Hi my name is Heather, and you are losing some of your load!”

Shaking his head, the trucker ignores her again and continues down the street.  At the third red light, the same thing happens again.  All out of breath, the blonde gets out of her car, runs up, knocks on the truck door. The trucker rolls down the window. Again she says “Hi, my name is Heather, and you are losing some of your load!”

When the light turns green the trucker revs up and races to the next light.  When he stops this time, he hurriedly gets out of the truck, and runs back to the blonde.  He knocks on her window, and after she lowers it, he says…  ”Hi, my name is Mark.  It’s winter in W.Va and I’m driving the SALT TRUCK!”

Gary Grice

Good morning from the Classic City!  A little dreary out there.  Now everytime it gets cloudy the weatherman begins warning of possible snow!  Have you ever considered the average of correct weather forcasts?  How about a baseball player's batting average?  I wish life would have allowed me that kind average to be "successful"!  But then again, I have truly succeeded where it was important, I just forget how blessed I really am sometimes!  Speaking of forgetting, (notice the smooth segway) here is a very helpful series of signs.  Enjoy.  Later.

Gary Grice

A  paraprosdokian is a figure of speech in which the latter part of a sentence or phrase is surprising or unexpected in a way that causes the reader or listener to re-frame or reinterpret the first part. It is frequently used for humorous or dramatic effect. (Say what?)  Anyway I found these examples pretty funny.  Enjoy.  Later.  I mean you can enjoy them now, not enjoy them later... Here are the examples... Cheeze!

I  want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather. Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car.
The last  thing I want to do is hurt you. But it’s still on  the list.
If I agreed with you, we’d both be wrong.
We never really grow up; we only learn how to act in  public.
War does  not determine who is right — only who is left.
I  asked God for a bike, but I know God doesn’t work  that way. So I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness.
Do not  argue with an idiot. He will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience.
Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit; Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.
The early bird might get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.
Evening news is where they begin with ‘Good evening,’ and  then proceed to tell you why it isn’t.
To steal idea from one person is plagiarism. To steal from many is research.
A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where a train stops. My desk is a work station.
How is it one careless match can start a forest fire, but it  takes a whole box to start a campfire?
Dolphins are so smart that within a few weeks of captivity,  they can train people to stand on the very edge of  the pool and throw them fish.

A bank is a place that will lend you money if you can prove that you don’t need it.

I didn’t say it was your fault, I said I was blaming you. 
Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is  wet? 
Behind every successful man is his woman. Behind the fall of a successful man is usually another woman. 
A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad  memory.

You do not need a parachute to skydive. You only need a parachute to skydive twice. 
The voices in my head may not be real, but they have some good ideas!
I  discovered I scream the same way whether I’m about  to be devoured by a great white shark or if a  piece of seaweed touches my foot.
Some cause happiness wherever they go.. Others, whenever they go.
There’s a fine line between cuddling and holding someone down so they can’t get away.
I used to be indecisive. Now I’m not sure.
I always take life with a grain of salt… plus a slice of  lemon… and a shot of tequila.
You’re never too old to learn something stupid.
To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first and call whatever you hit the target.
Nostalgia isn’t what it used to be.
A bus is a vehicle that runs twice as fast when you are after it as when you are in it.
Change is inevitable, except from a vending  machine.

Gary Grice

Okay, I promise no more (today) after this.

Aphorism: A short, pointed sentence expressing a wise or clever observation or a general truth. Examples:

1. The nicest thing about the future is that it always starts tomorrow.

2. Money will buy a fine dog, but only kindness will make him wag his tail.

3. If you don’t have a sense of humor, you probably don’t have any sense at all.

4. Seat belts are not as confining as wheelchairs.

5. A good time to keep your mouth shut is when you’re in deep water.

6. How come it takes so little time for a child who is afraid of the dark to become a teenager who wants to stay out all night?

7. Business conventions are important because they demonstrate how many people a company can operate without.

8. Why is it that at class reunions you feel younger than everyone else looks?

9. Scratch a cat and you will have a permanent job.

10. No one has more driving ambition than the boy who wants to buy a car.

11. There are no new sins; the old ones just get more publicity.

12. There are worse things than getting a call for a wrong number at 4AM. – Like this: It could be the right number.

13. No one ever says ‘It’s only a game.’ when their team is winning.

14. I’ve reached the age where ‘happy hour’ is a nap.

15. Be careful about reading the fine print. There’s no way you’re going to like it.

16. The trouble with bucket seats is that not everybody has the same size bucket.

17. Do you realize that in about 40 years, we’ll have thousands of old ladies running around with sagging distorted tattoos? (And rap music will be the Golden Oldies)!

18. Money can’t buy happiness — but somehow it’s more comfortable to cry in a Cadillac than in a Yugo.

19. After 60, if you don’t wake up aching in every joint, you are probably dead! (I know this for a fact)

20. Always be yourself. Because the people that matter, don’t mind. And the ones that mind, don’t matter.

Life isn’t tied with a bow, but it’s still a gift.  Amen.  (Much) Later.