Have you ever been guilty of looking at others your own age and thinking, 'Surely I can't look that old?' Well, you'll love this one.
While sitting in the waiting room for my first appointment with a new dentist. I noticed his DDS diploma, which bore his full name.
Suddenly, I remembered a tall, handsome, dark-haired boy with the same name had been in my high school class almost 30 years ago. Could he be the same guy that I had a secret crush on, way back then?
Upon seeing him, however, I quickly discarded any such thought. This balding, gray-haired man with the deeply lined face was way too old to have been my classmate.
After he examined my teeth, I asked him if he had attended St. Peter's High School.
"Yes. Yes, I did. I'm a Spartan," he gleamed with pride.
"When did you graduate?" I asked.
He answered, "In 1979. Why do you ask?"
"You were in my class!" I exclaimed.
He looked at me closely. Then, that ugly, old, bald, wrinkled, fat, gray-haired, decrepit son-of-a-gun asked, "What did you teach?"

 

2012 SURVIVAL KIT

Toothpick - to remind you to pick the good qualities in everyone, including yourself.

Rubber band - to remind you to be flexible. Things might not always go the way you want, but they can be worked out.

Band-Aid - to remind you to heal hurt feelings, either yours or someone else's.

Eraser - to remind you everyone makes mistakes, but that's okay because we learn by our errors.

Candy Kiss - to remind you everyone needs a hug or a compliment every day.

Mint - to remind you that you are worth a mint to your family.

Bubble Gum - to remind you to stick with it and you can accomplish anything.

Pencil - to remind you to list your blessings every day.

Green Tea Bag - to remind you to take time to relax daily and go over that list of God's blessings.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Health Tip 101

 

 

Special thanks to the Carvey's -

Doug & Lynne (Outhwaite) 

who sent in

The Class Reunion

 

THE CLASS REUNION   Every ten years, as summertime nears, An announcement arrives in the mail, A reunion is planned; it'll be really grand; Make plans to attend without fail. I'll never forget the first time we met; We tried so hard to impress. We drove fancy cars, smoked big cigars, And wore our most elegant dress. It was quite an affair; the whole class was there. It was held at a fancy hotel. We wined, and we dined, and we acted refined, And everyone thought it was swell. The men all conversed about who had been first To achieve great fortune and fame. Meanwhile, their spouses described their fine houses And how beautiful their children became.     The homecoming queen, who once had been lean, Now weighed in at one-ninety-six. The jocks who were there had all lost their hair, And the cheerleaders could no longer do kicks.   No one had heard about the class nerd Who'd guided a spacecraft to the moon; Or poor little Jane, who's always been plain; She married a shipping tycoon.     The boy we'd decreed 'most apt to succeed' Was serving ten years in the pen, While the one voted 'least' now was a priest; Just shows you can be wrong now and then. They awarded a prize to one of the guys Who seemed to have aged the least.. Another was given to the grad who had driven The farthest to attend the feast. They took a class picture, a curious mixture Of beehives, crew cuts and wide ties. Tall, short, or skinny, the style was the mini; You never saw so many thighs.     At our next get-together, no one cared whether They impressed their classmates or not. The mood was informal, a whole lot more normal; By this time we'd all gone to pot.   It was held out-of-doors, at the lake shores; We ate hamburgers, coleslaw, and beans. Then most of us lay around in the shade, In our comfortable T-shirts and jeans.   By the fiftieth year, it was abundantly clear, We were definitely over the hill. Those who weren't dead had to crawl out of bed, And be home in time for their pill.   And now I can't wait; they've set the date, Our sixtieth is coming, I'm told. It should be a ball, they've rented a hall At the Shady Rest Home for the old. Repairs have been made on my hearing aid; My pacemaker's been turned up on high. My wheelchair is oiled, and my teeth have been boiled; And I've bought a new wig and glass eye. I'm feeling quite hearty, and I'm ready to party I'm gonna dance 'til dawn's early light. It'll be lots of fun; But I just hope that there's one Other person who can make it that night.   Author Unknown Life is Wonderful. Don't forget it!----Praise The Lord, we've made it this far!!!!

 

 

 

 

Bob hadn't been to a class reunion in decades. When he walked
into this latest one, he thought he recognized a woman over
in the corner, so he approached her and extended his hand in
greeting, saying, "You look like Helen Brown."

"Well," the woman snapped back, "you don't look so great in
blue, either!"

 

 

     

 Handing the attendant $1.50, he couldn't help but comment, "The last time I came to the movies, popcorn was only 15 cents."

                           

 

 

 

 

 

 Class Reunion

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 Surely, I can't look that old!

Have you ever been guilty of looking at others your own age and thinking, 'Surely, I can't look that old!'   Well.... You'll love this one.
 
While sitting in the waiting room for my first appointment with a new dentist, I noticed his DDS diploma, which bore his full name.

Suddenly, I remembered a tall, handsome, dark-haired boy with the same name had been in my high school class some 40-odd years ago.  Could he be the same guy that I had a secret crush on, way back then?  Upon seeing him, however, I quickly discarded any such thought.

This balding, gray-haired man with the deeply lined face was way too old to have been my classmate.
 
After he examined my teeth, I asked him if he had attended Morgan Park high school.

"Yes.  Yes, I did.  I'm a Mustang," he beamed with pride.

"When did you graduate?" I asked.

He answered, "In 1959.  Why do you ask?"

"You were in my class!"  I exclaimed.

He looked at me closely.  Then, that ugly, old, bald, wrinkled, fat ass, gray-haired, decrepit SOB asked, "What did you teach?"

Shared by Judi Larsen Szyszka WHS 1959

 

Gifts for the Kindergarten Teacher

It was the end of the school year, and a kindergarten teacher was receiving gifts from her pupils.

The florist's son handed her a gift. She shook it, held it overhead, and said, "I bet I know what it is. Flowers." "That's right!" the boy said, "But, how did you know?" "Oh, just a wild guess," she said.

The next pupil was the sweet shop owner's daughter. The teacher held her gift overhead, shook it, and said, "I bet I can guess what it is. A box of sweets." "That's right, but how did you know?" asked the girl. "Oh, just a wild guess," said the teacher.

The next gift was from the son of the liquor storeowner. The teacher held he package overhead, but it was leaking. She touched a drop off the leakage with her finger and put it to her tongue. "Is it wine?" she asked. "No," the boy replied, with some excitement. The teacher repeated the process, tasting a larger drop of the leakage. "Is it champagne?" she asked. "No," the boy replied, with more excitement. The teacher took one more big taste before declaring, "I give up, what is it?" With great glee, the boy replied, "It's a puppy!" SURPRISE!

 Reunion Road Trip

 While on the road to our reunion, a classmate and his wife stopped at a roadside restaurant for lunch. After finishing their meal, they left the restaurant and resumed their trip. When leaving, the classmate's wife unknowingly left her glasses on the table and she didn't miss them until they had been driving for about forty minutes. By then, to add to the aggravation, they had to travel quite a distance before they could find a place to turn around in order to return to the restaurant to retrieve her glasses.

All the way back, the classmate became the classic grouchy old man. He fussed and complained and scolded his wife relentlessly during the entire return drive. The more he chided her, the more agitated he became. He just wouldn't let up for a single minute. To her relief, they finally arrived at the restaurant. As the wife got out of the car and hurried inside to retrieve her glasses, our classmate (the old geezer) yelled to her, "While you're in there, you might as well get my wallet and credit card."

 

 

 My wife and I were sitting at a table at my high school reunion, and I kept staring at a drunken lady swigging her drink as she sat alone at a nearby table.
My wife asked, ‘Do you know her?’
‘Yes,’ I sighed, ‘She’s my old girlfriend. I understand she took to drinking right after we split up those many years ago, and I hear she hasn’t been sober since.’
‘My gosh!’ says my wife, ‘who would think a person could go on celebrating that long?’

Myspace Code Generator

 

 

 A professor stood before his philosophy class and had some items in front of him. When the class began, he wordlessly picked up a very large and empty mayonnaise jar and proceeded to fill it with golf balls. He then asked the students if the jar was full. They agreed that it was.

 

 

 "The pebbles are the other things that matter like your job, your house and your car. The sand is everything else....the small stuff." 

 "If you put the sand into the jar first," he continued, "there is no room for the pebbles or the golf balls. The same goes for life. If you spend all your time and energy on the small stuff, you will never have room for the things that are important to you."