Message Forum


 
go to bottom 
  Post Message
  
    Prior Page
 Page  
Next Page      

01/11/10 09:06 PM #1134    

 

Connie Morgan (White)

I don't know any news.... but I do so enjoy reading your messages every day! I would have to say "ditto" to everything Diane mentioned in her post (above).
Gary, I'm sure glad your grandbaby got to go home.

I hope you are all doing well and staying warm.
love you guys.

01/12/10 09:31 AM #1135    

 

Donald Chandler

Hi

01/12/10 12:13 PM #1136    

 

Gary Grice

Yeah, uh, Hi.

01/12/10 02:47 PM #1137    

 

Gary Grice

I contemplated changing the name (to protect the innocent) in the following joke but then .... Well, here's your funny for the day - as copied. Later.

******
The pastor asked if any one in the congregation would like to express praise for answered prayers.

A lady stood and walked to the podium. She said, "I have a praise."

"Two months ago, my husband, Jim, had a terrible bicycle wreck and his scrotum was completely crushed. The pain was excruciating and the doctors didn't know if they could help him.” You could hear an audible gasp from the men in the congregation as they imagined the pain that poor Jim experienced.

She continued, "Jim was unable to hold me or the children and every move caused him terrible pain. We prayed as the doctors performed a delicate operation. They were able to piece together the crushed remnants of Jim's scrotum and wrap wire around it to hold it in place." Again, the men in the Congregation squirmed uncomfortably as they imagined the horrible surgery performed on Jim.

She continued, "Now, Jim is out of the hospital and the doctors say, with time, his scrotum should recover completely." All the men sighed with relief. The pastor rose and tentatively asked if any one else had anything to say.

A man rose and walked to the podium.

He said, "I'm Jim and I want to tell my wife, ONCE AGAIN, the word is STERNUM!"

01/12/10 03:18 PM #1138    

 

Diane Harris (Moore)

RAOFLMBO!! Or whatever the heck those letters should be. That is funny!!!

I can't wait to tell that one to Dick. He will say "that sounds like something you would do".

Oh, me, I laughed so hard I'm almost warm.

01/12/10 05:56 PM #1139    

 

Jimmy Willis

What a fool!!! That hurts to think about it! It an't
even funny!!! Signed Anonymous!

01/13/10 10:05 AM #1140    

 

Gary Grice

Jim, I agree. I was uncomfortably squirming in my seat until I got to the punchline. It probably would have been funnier if the guy's name had been Don, but I don't write 'em - I just copy and paste 'em.
Hope everyone is having a blessed day out there. Later.

01/13/10 10:55 AM #1141    

 

Donald Chandler

I think it would have been funnier if the guy's name was Tiger.

01/13/10 11:20 AM #1142    

 

Gary Grice

Yeah, Don, I concur but there would be no punchline, ie, "scrotum" would have been the correct word.
And now a little useless trivia, unless you get on a game show like, I don't know, maybe Family Feud, where it could be quite useful. Later.

******
"Stewardesses" is the longest word typed with only the left hand and "lollipop" with your right. (Bet you tried this out mentally, didn't you?)

Maine is the only state whose name is just one syllable.

No word in the English language rhymes with month, orange, silver, or purple.

"Dreamt" is the only English word that ends in the letters "mt". (Are you doubting this?)

The sentence: "The quick brown fox jumps over the lazy dog" uses every letter of the alphabet.

The words 'racecar,' 'kayak' and 'level' are the same whether they are read left to right or right to left (palindromes).

There are only four words in the English language which end in "dous": tremendous, horrendous, stupendous, and hazardous.

There are two words in the English language that have all five vowels in order: "abstemious" and "facetious."

TYPEWRITER is the longest word that can be made using the letters only on one row of the keyboard. (All you typists are going to test this out)

01/14/10 10:22 AM #1143    

 

Donald Chandler

Could I start the morning with a little song...

"Pants on the ground... pants on the ground... you lookin' like a fool wid yo pants on the ground."

Thank you.

01/14/10 10:28 AM #1144    

 

Diane Harris (Moore)

Family Feud? Who's been on Family Feud? I don't know where you get this stuff, Gary. Oh, and I found all that trivia riveting.

On a serious note, we have some young friends in the mission field in Haiti. Some of you probably have connections there as well. They are Amy and Doug Reichley and their little 6 month old son. They were 5 miles from the epicenter , right outside Port Au Prince. One of only 2 buildings left standing in their compound, known as Christianville, was the one they were in. Their fresh water has run out, and they are obviously trying to get home. They also were only one signature away from finalizing the adoption of a little 3 year old Haitian boy, and they do not want to leave without him. Anyway, I'd appreciate you being mindful of them as their relatives here work feverishly with the various agencies trying to get them out. These "kids" grew up with ours, and Doug's mom and dad are friends too from our church.

Now, everybody have a good day out there. It's supposed to get into the low 30s here today, so that means I am sure to see lots of goofy teenagers today walking around with shorts on. Whenever the sun comes out, they think that means "summer", and they get really silly.

Love y'all.

01/14/10 10:28 AM #1145    

 

Diane Harris (Moore)

Oh, I saw that, Don! So funny!

01/14/10 01:02 PM #1146    

 

Gary Grice

A thief in Paris planned to steal some paintings from the Louvre. After careful planning, he got past security, stole the paintings and made it safely to his van. However, he was captured only two blocks away when his van ran out of gas.

When asked how he could mastermind such a crime and the make such an obvious error, he replied,

"Monsieur, that is the reason I stole the paintings. I had no Monet to buy Degas to make the Van Gogh."

(And you thought I didn't have De Gaulle to tell you this one!)

Well, I figured I have nothing Toulouse.

Should I canvas the group? I'd probably get the brush off.

Later.

01/14/10 05:48 PM #1147    

 

Jimmy Willis

GOOD GRIEF!!! I GOING TO BE SICK!!!!!

01/15/10 09:29 AM #1148    

 

Diane Harris (Moore)

Happy Birthday, Pam! In case you check in, Dick and I hope you have a great birthday. Give Ross a hug for us. If you don't check this site regularly, you're really missing some fantastic jokes. (Well, some are better than others :)

Gary, you do indeed have "De Gaulle"!

01/15/10 09:30 AM #1149    

 

Kathy Carter (Campbell)

Gary, I honestly don't know how you can come up with all this stuff, but i love the chuckles it gives me.

Diane, we're praying for those in Haiti.

Don, I like your little song.

Connie, I hope you are all mended.

Jim, i'm certain these warmer temps make you want to get out on the golf course.

I have certainly been enjoying these sunny days and warmer temps. I have been very busy this week with "spring cleaning", washing windows, moving furniture to clean behind it and re-arranging furniture as well as matting, framing and hanging picutres. Looks like rain for weekend, so you better get outside today and enjoy this 60 degree weather.

Have a great weekend everyone.

01/15/10 10:44 AM #1150    

 

Gary Grice

HAPPPY FRIDAY!!! A little while longer and I'm outta here for a long weekend. Plan on working at my brother's place as much as I can. Connie, I will learn from your experience and stay off the ladder.
Kathy, sounds like you are trying to get everything done before your surgery (Carpool Tunnel). Hope all goes well.
I hope you all have a GREAT weekend. In the meantime, here is your chuckle for the day. Later.
********
A man walked into the ladies department of a Macy's and shyly walked up to the woman behind the counter and said, "I'd like to buy a bra for my wife."
"What type of bra?" asked the clerk.
"Type?" inquires the man, "There's more than one type?"
"Look around," said the saleslady, as she showed a sea of bras in every shape, size, color and material imaginable. "Actually, even with all of this variety, there are really only four types of bras to choose from."
Relieved, the man asked about the types. The saleslady replied:
"There are the Catholic, the Salvation Army, the Presbyterian, and the Baptist types. Which one would you prefer?"

Now totally befuddled, the man asked about the differences between them.
The Saleslady responded, "It is all really quite simple...
The Catholic type supports the masses.
The Salvation Army type lifts the fallen,
The Presbyterian type keeps them staunch and upright, and
The Baptist makes mountains out of mole hills."

01/15/10 01:04 PM #1151    

 

Jimmy Willis

NOW GARY THAT'S MORE LIKE IT! SOMETHING WE CAN ALL HANDLE!
HAVE A GREAT WEEKEND FOLKS! AND BY THE WAY THE GOOD LORD WILLING I PLAN TO PLAY GOLF THIS WEEKEND! (IF IT DON'T
RAIN!!!)
AFTER A WHILE

01/15/10 02:37 PM #1152    

 

Diane Harris (Moore)

Oh, the things I could say, but discretion forbids me. Y'all have a great weekend, whether you work or play.

Signing off,
Non-denominational Diane

01/15/10 03:33 PM #1153    

 

Donald Chandler

Friday Greetings, Mates.

I would also like to send a “Happy Birthday” out to Pam… and a “Hi” to Ross too. Let us hear from you two sometimes.

Diane… keep us posted on your friends in Haiti. We will keep them and the people of Haiti in our thoughts and prayers.

We had an interesting day yesterday. Liz has been part of a ministry by some of the folks in our Sunday School class to visit a local Nursing Home once a month. Liz plays the piano as part of a singing/teaching service for the residents. Yesterday I joined her and half a dozen others as part of the team to help inspire and encourage a gathering of almost 50 of the elderly living there. I’m sure that most of us have had to deal with a family member or close friend in one of those assisted living facilities at some point in our lives, and it is not a pleasant experience. But it really is a blessing to lift their spirits, even for an hour or so. It is a wonderful feeling to see them smile. I seem to remember Diane, that you are involved with a ministry like that too.

Connie… I hope you are continuing to improve from that nasty fall. Please keep us posted. And Gary, be careful out there working on your brother’s house. Great to hear from you too Kathy… I’m enjoying the sunshine, but I’m not into spring cleaning yet. And enjoy that golf, Jim… but you had better do it early Saturday, from what I hear, there is rain on the way.

I sure would like to find a good movie to see. Have any of you seen “Sherlock Holmes” or “Avatar” or any other good movies lately that you would recommend? By the way… Liz was reading Woman’s Day last night and found some interesting info... Have any of you ever been at the movies and just had “to go” before the end of the movie?... just couldn’t hold it? You know of course that whenever that happens, you will miss the best part of the movie. Murphy’s law. An active bladder is part of what many of us have to deal with as we “mature”, but now there is help… at least at the movies. Liz read about this website called WWW.RUNPEE.COM. (I’m serious now, don’t laugh). If you don’t believe me… check it out. Anyway, they list all the current popular movies and let you know exactly when the best times are during the movie to make a run to the restroom so you don’t miss the best parts. They tell you exactly to the minute, and the scene… when to make a run!!! So now when you go see your favorite movie, you can go prepared. There is no end to the useful information you can find on the internet. :-)

Have a great weekend folks. I’ll close for now. I need "to go"... if you know what I mean.

Reporting live from sunny and warm Cobb County… this is Don.

01/15/10 04:50 PM #1154    

 

Jimmy Willis

HAPPY BIRTHDAY PAM!!!!

01/17/10 08:38 PM #1155    

 

Gary Grice

Sunday evening and all is well. Jim I hope you got in a hole or two yesterday morning otherwise I think you got rained out. Of course, when I was hot and heavy into golf a little rain never stopped us - just be careful on the divits or you'll end up with a mud bath!
Don, we just got back from seeing Blind Side. We seldom go to the movies and from some friends reports didn't expect much even though I love Sandra Bullock. It is a really good movie that you won't hear much about. No nudity, very limited foul language - some of the situations probably would have been more realistic with more. I would recommend it to anyone that wants a good clean, feel good movie. It has all the elements to appeal to guys and girls - Sandra Bullock and Tim McGraw plus almost every SEC Football Coach. And take tissues.
Guess I missed Pam's birthday, so Happy Belated Birthday!!!! And like others said - let us hear (read) from you sometime! I know Ross can't read, but Pam you could read to him!!!
Got to meet a fellow in Crawford early tomorrow morning so time for a bowl of ice cream and the recliner so I can take a warm up nap before I go to bed. Everyone have a GREAT MLK day and hope you get to do what makes you HAPPY. Later.

01/18/10 05:36 AM #1156    

 

Gary Grice

So I get up his morning and see Sandra Bullock won a Golden Globe for "The Blind Side". Maybe this movie will get some recognition. Have a good day - and go see "The Blind Side". Later.

01/18/10 07:01 AM #1157    

 

Diane Harris (Moore)

I saw "The Blind Side", Gary, and it was awesome. Because it was true made it awesome indeed. Dick and I saw "The Hurt Locker" Saturday. Very, very intense, but very good. About a team of soldiers who dismantle IEDs. Very intense and suspenseful with lots of colorful language. But I guess if I had that job, I might spout off a few foul words too.

Our young friends are still trying to get out of Haiti. A coast guard helicopter landed Sat. near them with provisions. They have posted some pictures of horribly injured people who they are trying to help care for. I admire people who have such huge hearts for service in places like that. I took a meal to someone Friday, and thought to myself, "This is so easy." I feel ashamed when I think of people who give up all the luxuries that have spoiled me, to minister to those who've never, ever had the things I take for granted.

Y'all have a good day. Dick's in Baltimore, then back down to Philly later today.

01/18/10 11:27 AM #1158    

 

Donald Chandler

Like Gary, I too wish everyone a great MLK Day. This day reminds me of a couple of personal stories involving MLK Jr. and the King Family which I will share below. If you find my stories boring, feel free to move on to the next post.

Story One: I was 23 years old, young and liberal in 1973 when I began work for the City of Atlanta. As the staff Graphic Designer/Artist/Photographer for the Model Cities Progarm, I was never quite sure what I would be called on to do. Our offices were on the south side of Atlanta in the black community, on Capitol Avenue across the street from Fulton County Stadium (where Turner Field now stands). My best estimate is that my office was located about where the right field stands are now. One day my boss asked me to accompany her to a business meeting in the community. When we got there I discovered that the two of us were meeting with Coretta Scott King in her office on Beckwith Street. This was about six years after Dr. King was assassinated in 1968, our senior year. I must admit that I was a bit intimidated meeting Mrs. King and don't remember much of the conversation. But we discussed the upcoming Fourth Annual Benefit Concert celebrating the 46th anniversary of the birthday of Dr. King on January 15, 1975. I was given the responsibility of doing a portrait of Dr. King for the cover of the concert program. The concert at the Omni was highlighted by master of ceremonies Harry Belafonte, music legend Marvin Gaye and special guest Muhammed Ali. I later did another portrait of Dr. King, a pen and ink drawing for the cover of a brochure we produced for the Martin Luther King, Jr. Community Center on Auburn Avenue.

Story Two: As the staff photographer, I was often called on to go out into the Model Cities community to take photos. Mayor Maynard Jackson and members of the King family… Coretta, Daddy King (Dr. King’s father… a sweet old man) and the King children were often at these events… groundbreakings, ribbon cuttings, open houses, etc. One Sunday afternoon I had to attend the Dedication of the new Martin Luther King Jr. Middle School in the Model Cities Area. I was taking photographs of the ceremony, and Coretta and other members of the King Family were there along with the Mayor and a Who’s Who of politicians of the day. They were speaking to an audience in the central commons area of the school, a large open interior amphitheater with tiered seating. After taking lots of pictures, I sat down in the audience to take a break. I was one of very few whites there and I guess I stuck out like a sore thumb. Anyway, this young black fellow came over and sat down right next to me and asked “what the hell I was doing.” He seemed a bit agitated, and I had this very bad, uncomfortable feeling immediately but tried to stay cool. I had my camera in my hand, and I told him that I was going to "take a few more shots and go home" Well, I guess that was a bad choice of words in hindsight. He grabbed me around the neck in a head lock and wrestled me to the floor, bringing an abrupt halt to the official ceremonies going on with the King Family. Fortunately there was plenty of security there and they immediately came to the rescue and pulled him off of me and took him away. The police questioned the man who assaulted me and it seems that when I told him I “was going to take a few more shots,” he was a bit confused and thought I was going to assassinate the King Family. The police questioned me too and asked if I wanted to file assault charges against the fellow. But I decided not to, and I was just thankful he didn't have a knife or gun. The next day at work, my little assaault episode was the talk of the entire office.

Reporting live from Marietta… and looking for somebody to shoot… this is Don.




go to top 
  Post Message
  
    Prior Page
 Page  
Next Page      



agape