Sloane Grammar School boy, if you seek your memorial,

look around you but you'll need to register first.

Register and link up with old school friends again and become part of Sloane Reunited.

If you were a pupil or member of staff at Sloane you qualify to register for the website. Click on Missing Classmates at the top of this page to see if we've been expecting you. If you see your name, click on it and follow instructions. If your name's not there click on BECOME A MEMBER to learn more and then click the ADD NAME button to start the ball rolling or click Contact Us at the top of the page, read what you see then complete the box at the bottom of that page to ask me to add your name to the list.

It's Free, it's Easy, it's Secure

and

You're Never Alone As A Sloane

TO ALL MEMBERS, DON'T FORGET!! -

PLEASE CHECK THE ANNOUNCEMENTS BOARD AT THE FOOT  OF THIS PAGE FOR ANYTHING IMPORTANT and, after you Log In, the CALENDAR OF EVENTS PAGE FOR DETAILS OF FORTHCOMING EVENTS. 

If you're having trouble logging in because you've forgotten your Password, click on Forgot Password? inside the Classmate Login box that appears after you click   Sign In   and you'll be Emailed a link to reset it.
 

You'll find other helpful tips under REMINDERS below.
 

  The Sloane

Hello and Welcome to

Mark Foulsham's

Sloane Grammar School website

If I built it I knew you would come

A School that invited loyalty

 
Gone But Not Forgotten

'Men are we, and must grieve when even the shade

Of that which once was great is pass'd away.'

William Wordsworth

On the Extinction of the Venetian Republic

You may think you're done with the past but the past isn't done with you!
 

"The merits of a school are judged as much by the men it produces as by their achievements as boys" - 

(Old Cheynean D.J. Cowie, March 1929)

 

If you're a member, click on an image (     ) at the top for more. 

Here's what you'll find -

  = Messages waiting for you. The red bubble shows how many.

  = Website activity. Check for things you may have missed.

  = Member functions like Profile, Contact, and Password changes.

      AND -

  If you're already a member please remember to keep your Email address up to date using Edit Contact Info, to be found by clicking on  the  image at the top of the page. 

 Please don't forget to use the Notify Me page under the  image to make selections that will help you keep in touch as well as help you enjoy all the website has to offer.

     You may already have the latest version of Adobe Flash Player but your browser no  longer uses it automatically and it will not be supported at all after 31st December, 2020. From that date Google has confirmed it will completely block Flash from being able to run under the Chrome browser as will Mozilla for their Firefox browser and Microsoft for Internet Explorer and Edge. The Members Online feature uses Flashplayer (as do some animations and slideshows) so if it can't be seen clearly in the bottom right of your Home Page, click your mouse on what you can see and you'll be prompted to run Flashplayer. Agreeing will see the Members Online window re-appear. The same applies to animations and slideshows that don't show automatically. Use your Search Engine to search the web for how you allow Flash automatically in the browser you use but some browsers will ignore your choice anyway if you've chosen 'Allow', others, like Opera or Brave, will not. To check how this site handles Flash, click on the Padlock or Not Secure wording that precedes this website's Domain Name in your browser's Address Bar and set Flash to Allow or Ask (default). Click on Site Settings and under Permissions it also shows the same choice.  HTML5 (Hypertext Markup Language) is the likely replacement for Flash and hopefully, this website will be converted to it before the deadline for the loss of Flash.    

     Please remember to Log Out when you leave the site by using the Log Out button to be found under the  image at the top of the page. 
 

         AND FINALLY, IF AT ALL POSSIBLE, -

Please let a close relative know of your participation in the Sloane website and show them how to use the Contact Us page to notify me in the sad event of your death. Not only will this allow me to notify other members, it will also put a stop to any website generated emails finding their way to your Inbox. Thank you.

Come on in! 
Don't be late! 
This is one detention 
You'll be pleased to take.
               

    A WARM WELCOME 

to fellow Cheyneans and passers-by, from the Official Sloane Grammar School 1919-1970 Old Cheyneans and Friends web site.

Mark Foulsham, at Sloane 1963-70, created this site in August 2008 to record for posterity all that I can, and for all those who attended Sloane or simply have a Sloane connection, to share and enjoy. Feel free just to browse or, if you feel you qualify to join us, make full use of the site by becoming a Registered Classmate. Click on the Click Here to Register button above to start the registration process. It's Free!

I'll also be happy to send a personal invitation to anyone else with a Sloane School Chelsea connection who you think might like to join us. Just enter their Email address in the MISSING CLASSMATES box to your right and click Send Invite.  

We may not understand why but memories of our days at Sloane remain with us while others do not. Whether they're good or they're bad, I'd like to give all old boys the opportunity to keep those memories alive.

 Aspirations and Objectives

Sloane never had a motto and although our school badge is based on the lion rampant and boar's head of the Cadogan family crest their motto, Qui Invidet Minor Est or He That Envies Is Inferior, is not really appropriate so I'll adopt the one to be found on the Coat of Arms of the Royal Borough of Kensington and Chelsea as it suits us nicely -

Quam Bonum In Unum Habitare

 (What A Good Thing It Is To Dwell Together In Unity) 

It is hoped, in some small way, to be able to have similar objectives to those stated for the first issue of The Cheynean in December 1926  -

"To record faithfully the major activities of the School, to promote and foster a corporate spirit in the School, to excite a greater keenness both in the games and in other phases of its social life, and to serve as a link between present members of the School and the Old Cheyneans".  -

and also to bring together, once again, old friends and classmates, and those of us who have outlived the school and share a common interest in its history and its future.

Sadly, I've no memory of having ever sung or even heard a school song but apparently one was written by music Master Mr Seymour Dicker in 1928, and was first sung in July of that year by pupil J E Bush. What became of it after that first performance is a mystery but it contained the lines -

"Salve, the School and its scholars so keen,

 Long may they keep its memory green."

 If you've any memories of Sloane you'd like to share, use the Contact Us page to send them in and, whilst you're there, register for the site as well. 

Once you've registered, you can activate the Instant Messaging feature that allows you to hold a 'real-time' online conversation with anyone else who has logged on to the website. You can also send a message to someone else on the site via the Message Centre or by using their Profile. Click on their name on the Classmate Profiles page then click on the red 'Send ? a private message' at the top of their Profile.

After you've registered, why not take a look at all the Classmate Profiles ? Even if you don't know the person involved, the information they've put on their Profile can be interesting, illuminating and fun, and often brings back memories of something you thought you'd forgotten about.

If, at any time after becoming a member, you're unsure about anything click on this Using This Site link for an explanation or contact me direct via the Contact Us page.
 

 * * * * * * * *
 

 Why Not Take a Look at Where your Classmates are Living?

Find out the Postcode of a Classmate from their Profile (if they've agreed to let everyone know it) then Click on the link below, enter the details where it says 'Address', then Click on 'Go'. Not every country is covered yet and those that are have limited coverage, but it's worth a try.

Here's the link. Have fun - http://www.vpike.com/

* * * * * * * *

The Sloane News

BREAKING NEWS!
 

Suella Braverman to trick migrants into turning around by flying French flags on Kent coast

The Home Secretary is planning to make Britain’s southeast coastline look like France so migrants will be fooled into going back the other way.

Suella Braverman has come up with an ingenious new scheme to ensure that boats carrying migrants across the English channel turn back before hitting the UK mainland.

“They’re trying to get away from France and towards England,” reasoned the Home Secretary.

“So… if they see land that looks like France, they’ll immediately turn around and sail back to actual France thinking they’ve got turned around, right?

We can fly French flags everywhere and get people dressed as onion sellers to cycle up and down our coastal paths. At low tide, our beaches can be filled with mime artists pretending to be trapped in boxes. We can write ‘Welcome to France’ on the white cliffs of Dover. What? Oh yes, even better, write it in French – that will really fool them! We could even simulate filthy, smelly France by pouring sewage into the sea. What? That’s already in hand? Brilliant news!

Oh, and the best bit – or should I say the ‘piece de resistance’ – we can build massive refugee camps all along the Kent coastline and use them to house migrants! That way, incoming economic parasites will assume they’re looking at some French ghetto like Calais or whatever and think that that’s the very place from which they are trying to escape!

Right, does anyone know where we can get our hands on a load of migrants?”

*

Prince Edward has been awarded the title of ‘Bestest Behaved Prince’ by King Charles.

The title, which will replace Prince Edward’s previous title of Earl of Wessex, has been given to the Prince on his 59th birthday as a treat for being really good, and not causing any bother like the rest of them. 

A spokesperson for Buckingham Palace confirmed,

“He’s such a good lad, bless him.

We can confirm today that Prince Edward has been awarded the title of ‘Best Behaved Prince’ by King Charles for not doing anything naughty, like that Andrew and Harry who are always up to no good.

Obviously this is a highly esteemed title and one that he can be very proud of for staying out of trouble for quite a few years. Or at least not getting caught for anything, which is the main thing, of course. 

Edward’s wife Sophie will now become ‘Goody Two Shoes wife’ and his son will be known as ‘Teachers Pet’s Pet’. If that makes any sense. “

Asked if there will any change of title for Andrew, or if he will now be given any future role as a working Royal, we were told

“I think he’s done enough don’t you?”

*

Nobody sure if Donald Trump should be tried as an adult
 

With his arrest impending and the $250m civil fraud trial of former President Trump beginning in New York, the next question facing lawyers is whether he should be tried as an adult.

Described as a tricky procedural question, some lawyers point to the President’s actual age as being on his birth certificate to support a motion that Trump is – legally speaking – a “grown-up”.

However, other legal experts insist there is decades of documentary evidence to the contrary, and that the former President should be held in court as a minor at best. A judge is expected to rule on the matter after not just checking basic things like times and dates, but also looking at just about anything Trump has said or done in the last thirty years.

“It could go either way on that basis,” confirmed one Attorney.

“If Donald Trump is tried as an adult, he could be in big trouble.

“But if he’s legally a child, then Stormy Daniels would be in even bigger trouble.”

*
 

Texas passes bill to install gun vending machines in all schools

The state of Texas has passed new legislation to make schools safer by installing firearm vending machines in all campus buildings, we can reluctantly report today.

The measure is designed to help schools defend themselves against attacks by people with guns by ensuring everyone has access to guns.

Republican senator Ellie-May Jim-Bob described the bill as

‘a great day for Texas and Americans everywhere’,

and pledged to continue pushing for the machines to be installed in kindergartens and pre-school groups as well.

The machines will be installed next to the usual food and drink vending machines, and will supply a variety of reasonably-priced firearms ranging from an easily-concealed .22 pistol to the ‘classroom defence’ AR-15 automatic rifle.

Some critics have suggested that the weapons might be purchased for uses other than defence, but these concerns have been dismissed as ‘lily-livered, pantywaist lies by liberals determined to take our constitutional rights’.

“Ensuring that schools are crammed with people carrying easily-accessible firearms can only make them safer,” said Jim-Bob. "Well, dammit, the Republican position has always been that basic education gets in the way of proper education. We will be pressing for reform that makes the three Rs become four after the inclusion of 'rifles' ".
 

*

Manchester United Having To Cut Costs

Due to  the financial problems surrounding football clubs at the moment, Manchester Ubited have announced they will be releasing 25 members of staff from its payroll.

The 15 referees and 10 linesmen are said to be devastated!

*

* * *

I had too much to drink one night last week and fell straight into bed when I got home. I got up in the night to use the toilet and when I went into the bathroom the light came on of its own accord, and when I came out again, the light went off again. The noise I made had woken my wife so when I got back into bed I told her what had happened and asked her,

"Do you think I've got superpowers?"

"No!" came her immediate reply. "You've pissed in the fridge again!"

Even after 42 years of married life I still call my wife 'darling', 'love' or 'babe'. It's not that I mean it, of course, it's just that I've forgotten her name and I'm scared to ask her.

One thing I do I remember is that as a teenager I had a girlfriend whose parents were quite religious and the first time I stayed at their house her Dad wouldn't let us sleep together, which was a shame as he was really quite attractive.

Now, some people wouldn't see the humour in that joke. Not only wouldn't my wife see the humour in the joke, she just wouldn't realise it was a joke at all and start questioning my sexuality. Mind you, it was enlightening being at home with her through Covid. It gave us time to catch up on all the things I'd done wrong for the past 40 years. I've a feeling this shop is run by a friend of hers too -
 

A little known fact also came up in conversation with my wife. Did you know that a majority of women become archaeologists because of their innate ability to dig up the past. Anything and everything about our past relationship is firmly encamped in my wife's brain, especially my misdemeanours. I tend to deny all knowledge, of course. Just to lighten her load, I do buy her the occasional gift. I found this for her in a very old bookshop -
 

- and she bought me this in return, bless her -

It was my grandson Leo's first birthday this month. I did as I was told and went along but only after they'd convinced me Leo had put some money behind the bar. Always the gentleman, I restricted myself to two pints. The occasion did give me a chance to have a chat with my granddaughter Freya as well. She's got a bit of a downer on men. Not just me but all men yet I managed to get her to sit next to me for a while while I read her a story. From time to time she would take her eyes off the book and reach up and touch my cheek after which she touched her own cheek. After a while spent thinking, she said loudly,

"Granddad, did God make you?"

I looked at her and said,

"Yes, sweetheart, God made me a long time ago."

She pondered for a few seconds then asked,

"Did God make me too?"

"Yes, indeed," I replied. "He made you only a little while ago."

At this point, she touched my face and hers again, and said so everyone could hear,

"He's getting better at it, ain't he?"

On the health front, I had another ultrasound scan on the state of play regarding my kidney stones three weeks ago but have yet to hear about the outcome. Probably not much change in size but as they've been reluctant to operate nothing was going to happen anyway. Still, at least they're keeping an eye on their progress and that of my kidney stones, which are slowly getting larger. The check on my kidney stones was incidental to  a check on my aneurysm stent that I had on the 28th of this month. The stent's doing its job but they have discovered another aneurysm now, low down on my left side. The clinician is confident it won't require a stent before I die. I'll take her word for it. Fortunately, I haven't needed the exploration required by most men our age concerning my prostate. If it does happen, I know I won't get lost looking for the room at St Helier hospital. The signs are very clear -

Prostate Examinations. Please enter through the back door ------->

I look forward to my stent and kidney stone check-ups and . I think it's the thought of that cold gel being rubbed into my nether regions by a young, non-striking nurse. The gel's guaranteed but I'm not sure about the age of the nurse. I'll spare a thought for Classmate Aynsie and his plethora of nurses. Imagined or not, mate, I hope they're still working their magic.............

Nearly forgot to mention there was another death in the family last week. My grandson's pet mouse Elvis passed away. He was caught in a trap..........

If you didn't understand that last line, get an Elvis fan to explain it to you.

Take care until I tweet again.

* * *
 

JOKES OF THE WEEK

A gang of Australian bank robbers are sitting round deliberating over methods they will employ to rob a bank. After a lot of thought they all agree there's only one way to go about it. In the wee hours of the following morning they meet and embark on their plan to get rich. Once inside the bank, efforts to disable the internal security system get under way immediately. The robbers, expecting to find one or two huge safes filled with cash and valuables, are more than a little surprised to find hundreds of smaller safes scattered throughout the bank. The first safe's combination is cracked and  the robbers go inside only to only find what looks like a bowl of vanilla pudding.

"Hmmm", says one robber to another, "well at least we get a bite to eat while we're on the job."

They open up the second safe and it also contains nothing other than a similar sized vanilla pudding bowl. The process continues until all the safes are open and there's not one valuable item to be found. Instead, all the safes contain the same containers of the same pudding. Disappointed, each of the mobsters makes a quiet exit, leaving with nothing more than a queasy, uncomfortable stomach that is full to the brim. The following morning, the headlines in the Sydney Morning Herald read -

Australia's Largest Sperm Bank Robbed In The Early Hours
 

*

*

*

*

*

*

* * *

THOUGHTS FOR THE WEEK

Seenager

I have just discovered my age group! I am a Seenager (Senior Teenager).

I now have everything I wanted as a teenager, only 50+ years too late. I don't have to go to school or work. I get an allowance every month, and I have my own pad where I don't have to be in by a certain time. I have my own driving licence and my own car as well as an ID that gets me served in pubs, wine bars and off licences. And I don't have acne.

The women I hang around with are not scared of getting pregnant. In fact they aren't scared of anything because like everyone who's reached our age we've been blessed to do so, so why be scared?.

Also, after reading this you'll feel much more intelligent if you're a Seenager. The brains of older people are slower because they know so much. People don't decline mentally with age, it just takes them longer to recall facts because they have more information in their brains. Scientists believe this also makes you hard of hearing because it puts pressure on your inner ear. When older people go into another room to get something then forget what it was they went in there to get, it's not a memory problem or the onset of dementia it's nature's way of making older people do more exercise.

I have more friends I should tell about this, but right now I just can't remember their names. Please help by telling your friends about what I've said. They may be my friends, too.

*

*

I never knew the late Robert Mugabe was from Yorkshire until I read his name backwards.

*

*

*

The loyal captain on a Scandinavian Airlines flight once said to his passengers:

"Ladies and gentlemen, it won't be a full flight today. So could I just ask all passengers who have an aisle or middle seat to move to the window seat. This way, other airlines flying past us will still think that we're successful."

*

*

Is it me or has there been an increase recently in the use of B.C.E. and C.E. instead of B.C.? I thought I'd look into it and came up with this -

We all know that BC has always stood for Before Christ but it's also a specifically Christian reference. BCE stands for Before the Common Era and is religion-neutral.

For dates during the current Common Era, the Christian referent is 'Year of the Lord' or AD (Anno Domini).

The religion-neutral denotation is CE (Common Era).

There is no difference, so 1066 AD and 1066 CE are the same year, as are 753 BC and 753 BCE.

*

*

"Did you say 'and a diet Coke'?"

*

In these difficult times when people are trying to survive on a lower income whilst prices are rising, please spare a special thought for dwarves. They're struggling to put food on the table.

*

I'm playing safe and have just cancelled my visit.


* * *
 

The Story of The NEVERWELLS (WHO ARE NEVER OUT OF TROUBLE)

Many years ago I picked up a small book at a car boot sale and now, With over two years in the world of Covid behind us, I thought it might be a good time to share its contents with you.

The book in question, published in 1948 (the year the NHS came into being), is titled The Story of THE NEVERWELLS (Who are never out of trouble) and was written by William Edwards, a doctor, under the pseudonym Dr. Goodenough.

The Neverwells included mum and dad, their small boy Billy, growing-up Mary and baby Roy, and came into being after the Editor of The People newspaper met two people on a train. One of them was a doctor friend of the Editor's, 'a kindly soul yet a man of the world who has one of the biggest practices in the South of England.' He said: 

"I am rushed off my feet these days. And in most cases I need not have been called in at all, if only people had a simple knowledge about ordinary illnesses."

Later, the Editor found himself talking to a woman passenger with two children -

"They're not too strong," she said, "always under the doctor with one thing or another. It's never serious you know, but the trouble is you can never be sure and so you must call the doctor."

The same night as he had spoken to the two people on the train, the Editor of The People telephoned his doctor friend and asked him if he would become Dr. Goodenough and write for him every week the story of a family - the Neverwell family - about their complaints and how he treated them, and in simple language so that ordinary people could at last learn the elementary things about illness.

For over a year before the book was published, Dr. Goodenough entertained and instructed People readers every week with the story of the never-ending complaints of the Neverwells. There were words of wisdom and understanding in these little features as well. So much so that, increasingly, the People was inundated with letters from readers asking for a book to be written. Hence, the book I picked up some 30 years after it was first published I now bring to you each time I update this Home Page of the website. I hope you find some enjoyment in its pages and can see the comparisons it enables us to make between the way medicine was practiced  back then and how much it has advanced in such a relatively short space of time whilst the personal touch has moved in the opposite direction.

This piece from the book tells us all about -
 

Sciatica

Poor Mr. Neverwell had a sharp stabbing pain in his left buttock, shooting down the back of his leg. It hurt to stand, but he couldn't sit down, and, if he lay on the bed, he just couldn't keep in one position, When he coughed, the pain was agonising, so he decided not to do it again. Altogether, he was very glad to see Dr. Goodenough arrive.

The doctor made him lie on his face, and found that there were several very tender spots along the sciatic nerve - between the hip bone and the one Mr. Neverwell sat on - behind the knee, by the side of the ankle. He tapped the big "Achilles" tendon at the back of the heel to see if that would make the foot jerk, but it didn't. In fact, the back of the leg was rather numb, and Mr. Neverwell could scarcely feel a pinprick there. He could bear to have his leg raised off the bed, and moved sideways - but when Dr. Goodenough turned him over right way up again, and picked up his foot, he yelled with pain before the foot got very high in th air.

"Sciatica," said the doctor.

"That's what I thought," said Mr. Neverwell.

"Yes, but we don't mean quiet the same thing by sciatica. You would call any pain down the back of your leg sciatica; I wouldn't. True sciatica is a form of neuritis of the big sciatic nerve which runs down the back of the leg. But you can have pain running down the nerve due to other causes than neuritis. You might have a growth in your bowel, or strain in your lower spinal joints, or arthritis of your hip, or muscular rheumatism, for instance. It's not always very easy to decide on the actual cause of a pain down the back of the leg; but it's very important to try, because the treatment is quite different."

"What about giving me something to ease it," said Mr. Neverwell, who felt that less talk and more action was needed.

"Certainly." Dr. Goodenough gave him some aspirin and codeine tablets. Then he took a spare pillow and tucked it under Mr. Neverwell's knee. He made sure the hot water bottle was really hot, and wedged it under the sore buttock.

"Now try and relax, and it will ease off," he said. "If it doesn't, I'll give you something stronger, but I expect three of these tablets every two or three hours will do the trick. Neuritis is always painful."

"You're telling me," said Mr. Neverwell, letting his knee sink gently into the pillow. "Ah, that's a bit more comfortable. What the blazes is neuritis anyhow?"

"Inflammation of a nerve. And as the sciatic nerve is the biggest one in the body, when it gets inflamed, it hurts more than others, and usually takes longer to get well."

"Cheerful, aren't you? How long is this damn thing going to take?"

"It might take six weeks, it might take less."

"Six weeks!"

"They do sometimes. Depends to some extent on the cause of the inflammation. A neuritis of one nerve, like this, is rather different from what we call multiple neuritis, when nerves all over the body are affected - arms as well as legs - face, neck..."

"Oh, shut up!" said Mr. Neverwell. "This is bad enough."

"Oh, quite," agreed the doctor. "And probably more painful than a multiple neuritis. With that, you often get more trouble from muscular weakness - drop things, for instance. Too much to drink: alcoholic neuritis; too little vitamin B; poisoning by various substances like arsenic or aneline, carbon disulphide or lead; some infectious diseases, diphtheria, scarlet fever, gonorrhœa, for example; various forms of anæmia, diabetes, a few hereditary disorders - and, in some parts of the world, leprosy - all these and many other things can cause multiple neuritis, and it's sometimes a big task to get to the bottom of it."

"But it's easier to find out the cause of a sciatica, like mine?"

"No, I wouldn't say that. It might be due to bad teeth or a sore throat, to getting wet through, to overtiring the leg by some sort of treadle machine, or a heavy clutch pedal in a car. Sometimes there has been some old injury, and a wetting will make it flare up."

"I do believe it's old Smith's car!" said Mr. Neverwell.

"It was decent of him to lend it to you," said his wife.

"I had a long drive to do yesterday," explained Mr. Neverwell, "and my bus had broken down, so Smith, who's a pal of mine, lent me his. But I couldn't get comfortable in it. The seat was too far back, and the clutch spring was heavy. Then the starter broke down, and I had to stand in the wet grinding the handle. Damned if I ever borrow the thing again."

"Some people are grateful, aren't they?" said Mrs. Neverwell.

"Sounds very likely," said the doctor. "Still, you won't be able to drive again for a bit, anyhow."

"You didn't really mean that stuff about six weeks, did you?"

"Fraid so. Of course, it won't hurt like this all the time. But you'll be left with some weakness in your leg, and it will make you limp, and it will be sore to sit down and so on - and it will be six weeks before all that has cleared up. Meanwhile, keep it warm, and rest it. When you push your leg out straight, it stretches the nerve, so it's much more comfy to keep it bent a bit at both the knee and the hip - hence that pillow. Warmth and sedatives will do the rest."

"But it will clear up all right in the end?" asked Mr. Neverwell. "You know, it's getting a bit easier now."

"Good," said Dr. Goodenough. "Yes, I expect it will. Of course, some cases do become chronic."

"You're a bit of a Job's comforter, aren't you?"

"Tell the truth and shame the Devil. I have had patients whose sciatica persisted. Generally they can be cured by manipulations, helped by some form of electric treatment, such as diathermy. They get adhesions round the nerve, and the manipulations break these down. If the worst comes to the worst, I send them off to a spa for a holiday and a course of treatment. However, we needn't look on the black side too much."

"That's good," said Mrs. Neverwell, whose own leg was aching from her thrombophlebitis.

"You know you ought to be resting your leg," said the doctor.

"And how!" said Mrs. Neverwelll. "Feels like neuralgia, to me."

"Neuralgia," said Mr. Neverwell. "That's the same as neuritis, isn't it, doctor?"

"Strictly speaking, no. Neuritis, as I said, means an inflamed nerve. Neuralgia just means pain down the course of a nerve. Most of the people who complain of neuralgia in the face really have a bad tooth, and I cure 95 per cent of them by sending them to the dentist. It's just funk of having a tooth out that makes them call it neuralgia instead of toothache. Though of course there is a real neuralgia , not due to bad teeth, or to antrum trouble - so-called trigeminal neuralgia, and very very painful it can be. It comes on in attacks of really bad pain all over one side of the face, and sometimes goes on for years."

"Good Lord, can't they do anything for it?" asked Mrs. Neverwell.

"Some get enough ease from aspirin and so on. Some have to have the nerve actually destroyed by injections of alcohol. That cures it but it leaves a numb feeling instead. Well, how does your leg feel?"

"Oh, it's a good deal easier now, doctor, thanks."

Mr. Neverwell was in bed for a week, after which he was able to hobble about the house, and, although he got back to work in three weeks, he still felt the pain occasionally, and it was fully six weeks before he entirely recovered. By that time, however, they were in more trouble, because Mrs. Neverwell's father, Mr. Blowhard, came to stay with them, and Mr. Blowhard had a bad heart.

Join us next time to see whether the old man's heart withstands the strain of living with the Neverwell's when we learn what they knew back then about heart disease.

* * *

* * * * *

The Home We Called Sloane
 

The Sloane building seen from Hortensia Road in 1908  

The Sloane building was 100 years old in 2008, although it didn't actually start life as a boys' school until after the First World War, during which it served as a hospital. It still stands and many memories are, no doubt, ingrained in its walls along with the odd name and ribald comment. Who knows what the future holds, despite its Grade II listing on May 7th, 2002. Grade II listed buildings can be altered, extended, or even demolished, but only with Local Authority consent, so it may be that the building is considered historically or architecturally interesting enough for it's fabric to remain untouched. Some consideration may have been given to it having been the first purpose-built secondary school in London, and it is certainly one of only 3% of all ages of listed buildings that was built in the 20th century. Schools generally are seen as a good investment by developers because they're easy to convert. They are likely to be structurally sound because the authorities will have inspected them regularly to ensure they comply with Health and Safety requirements. 

To learn more about what has happened to the building we left behind visit the Sloane Today page once you've become a registered member.

Sadly, Sloane Grammar School for Boys only lasted 51 years, from 1919-1970. Sloane old boy John Binfield, in one of his poems, writes -

... the school, with
All its past, was sucked into a huge
Turbulent sea of glass in Pimlico
And sank without trace. "full fathom five..

Sea nymphs hourly ring his knell.
Hark, now I hear them. Ding-dong bell".

The exterior of the building still survives in the form we all remember even if the interior doesn't. It would have been wonderful to have been able to celebrate, in 2019, what would have been its centenary as a boys' school, had it remained in existence as such. Unfortunately, for us, it wasn't to be, and the Covid-19 pandemic that gripped the world in 2020 and beyond didn't allow for a late celebration either . Maybe one day...... 
 

Sloane seen from the rear in 2014

* * *
   
This Website And The British Library's Web Archive

Please Note: - The school building still remains but not as a school. I've tried to preserve as much of its history and old boys' memories of it as I can, on this website. You might like to know that once I'm no longer around and have shuffled off to that classroom in the sky, this website will remain intact. Once my monthly payments to the Class Creator programmers cease the site will continue but to compensate them for their loss it will display adverts. If you're still around, you'll still be able to Log In to the site and carry on much as you did when I was alive. Naturally, the site will look exactly as it did (apart from the adverts) on the day I died. What will not be possible are any new members, unlikely as that is, as I won't be here to verify they are who they say they are.

In addition, in 2013 , just before the Legal Deposit regulations came into force, I asked to register the website with the British Library's UK Web Archive as one of historical interest and they agreed. So, when none of us are unable to Log In anymore or the Class Creator business ceases to operate, it will still be available for access by our children and grandchildren etc., as well as future historians, at this address -
 

Web Archiving
The British Library
96 Euston Road
London NW1 2DB
United Kingdom
Tel: +44 (0)20 7412 7184
E-mail: web-archivist@bl.uk

Since 2013, publishers need to give a copy of every UK publication they make to the British Library. Five other major UK libraries may also ask to be given a copy. This system is called legal deposit and it's been a part of English law since 1662.

Print publications for legal deposit can be books, journals, sheet music, maps, plans, charts or tables. Now legal deposit also covers material published digitally such as websites, blogs, e-journals and CD-ROMs.

Legal deposit has many benefits for publishers and authors. The deposited publications can be read inside the British Library and will be preserved for future generations. Their works become part of the nation’s heritage, providing inspiration for new books and other publications.

Unfortunately, in the case of websites, the British Library say that much of the information contained in them cannot be archived for technical reasons. In addition, as almost all this website's pages are Password Protected, it will be impossible for them to be accessed unless I remove that restriction. At some point I will give the British Library's 'web crawler' access to our Password Protected pages to allow it to take a 'snapshot' of the site on a daily, weekly, monthly, quarterly or 6-monthly basis. At the time of writing this, 2020, their system doesn't have the capability to crawl and archive private content that sits behind a Log In procedure. They will noever be allowed access to members' Profiles and the personal information they contain.

The current generation of web crawlers cannot capture:

• Interactive, dynamically generated content
• Content that is only available via a search engine on the website, or some other form submission method
• Some types of JavaScript-driven menus
• YouTube videos, Flash movies and similar streaming audio or video (some audio and video files can be captured, e.g. those embedded via the standard HTML5 <video> or <audio> tags).

Unlike static HTML, which is relatively easy to capture, script code is very hard for traditional web crawlers to analyse, which is why the Library runs web browsers for a limited part of their crawls. Even that cannot capture very interactive web sites, like single-page web applications, or any site feature that needs a remote server to function. In practical terms this means that entering queries into the search box of an archived version of a website will not work. Standard links on the website, however, will work as normal.

Some JavaScript driven menus do not function well once archived. YouTube videos, Flash movies, and similar streaming audio or video are also beyond the capability of web crawlers. However, as members of the International Internet Preservation Consortium, contributors to the UK Web Archive are developing tools which will help capture this content in the future.

Attempts are made to gather all of the objects associated with a website including html, images, PDF documents, audio and video files and other objects such as programming scripts. However, the crawler software cannot automatically gather any material that is protected behind a password, without the owner's collaboration. Web site owners may however choose to divulge confidentially a user ID and password to allow archiving of these areas. So, as I said, I'll collaborate with the British Library to allow them to gather only non-invasive non-personal information behind the password protection if and when their archiving system becomes capable of it .

Should you wish to visit the UK Web Archive to see what it makes available for viewing or if you know of a website that you think deserves preservation, use this link -

https://www.webarchive.org.uk/ukwa/info/nominate

* * *
 

Whatever our own personal reasons for it doing so, the school will still haunt most of us even if it disappears altogether. With that tenuous link, here's a poem that I came across in a copy of The Cheynean -

The Ghost of Sloane

 
When London's asleep and the School very quiet,
No sound of footsteps, no sound of a riot,
No sound of even the shuffle of feet,
No sound of the creak of a pupil's seat,
Out of the darkness the ghost of Sloane
Awakes from rest with a sigh and a groan.
Then up he arises to haunt the School
Climbing the stairs in the guise of a ghoul.
He shuffles and clanks down each corridor
Into the classrooms where stand desks galore.
He examines each desk and checks the boys' work,
Allots ghostly marks in the dark and the murk.

If you ever lose books from out of your desk,
And the teacher upbraids you and calls you a pest,
Just tell him my story, however tall,
Of the white shrouded phantom that haunts the School Hall.

                                                    J. Hollingshead (3C)

As for us, the boys who used to attend our Chelsea school, we probably considered ourselves 'Chelsea men' but I doubt that many of us fitted the description in this poem, written when he was in the 5th year by one time Sloane Schoolboy, A R Doubledee. I get the impression he didn't particularly approve of the 'Beatniks' of the late 50s and early 60s that he found himself sharing Chelsea with or, as he called them the 'Weirdies' -                                                                        

 
The Weirdies

The Chelsea man is excessively queer,
He only drinks coffee and doesn't like beer.
He's always "chatting" the girls, and yet
This seems to make him "one of the set".

His unkempt chin and uncut hair
Go with his feet which are usually bare.
If he wears shoes, they've never got soles,
And he's usually found in Bohemian holes.

His outsize sweater is generally black
Contrasting well with his shorty mac.
He wears his clothing merely to show
That he can keep up with the boys of Soho.

To find a girl he doesn't look far,
But into the nearest coffee bar,
Where he's sure to meet a Bohemian "yob".
They're all from Chelsea - what a mob!

The girls with hair right down their backs
Wear irregular clothes that look like sacks.
They walk about wearing father's sweater:
I really don't see why he should let 'er.

Their gaudy clothes of reds and greens
Match up with the style of their men-friends' jeans.
Now that's how it goes with the latest style:
Girls on their faces make-up pile,
The men wear anything they can find -
I shouldn't stare, I should just act blind!

A.R. Doubledee (5b)

* * * 

ANNOUNCEMENTS APPEAR BELOW
ONCE YOU'VE LOGGED IN