| 03/01/10 10:33 AM |
#1345
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Gary Grice
Don, you really have a memory!! I've really enjoyed your posts in the User Forums and trips down Memory Lane. I'll have to post my VERY different trips from south Georgia. I too had a car run into my house one morning but it didn't make the news. Maybe I'll relay that story later also. Well after an aging downer, I thought a few jokes might be in order. First, in honor of his meeting with Nancy Lopez, a golf joke for Jim. Later. ***** A fellow was getting ready to tee off by himself on the first hole when a tall, stately, grey haired gentleman approached and asked if he could join him. The first man said that he usually played alone, but agreed to the twosome. They were even after the first two holes. The tall, stately gentleman said, "We're about evenly matched, how about playing for five bucks a hole?" The first fellow said he was a pretty good player, and that he wasn't much for betting, but agreed to the terms, thinking we're pretty even so far, so why not? The stately gentleman played "straight & true" golf the rest of the round and won the remaining sixteen holes with ease. As they were walking off the 18th green, and while counting his $80, the tall, stately golfer confessed that he was the teaching pro at a neighboring course and liked to pick on suckers. The first fellow revealed that he was the parish priest. The pro got all flustered and apologetic, offering to return the money. The priest said, "You won fair and square and I was foolish to bet with you. You keep your winnings." The pro said, "Is there anything I can do to make it up to you?" The priest said, "Well, you could come to mass on Sunday and make a donation. And, if you want to bring your mother and father along, I'll marry them."?
*******
Joe gets a job in an funeral parlor, but he says he's never seen a dead body before. His boss says, "That’s OK I'll take you around and show you some." The first body is a man with a smile on his face. The boss says, "He got 6 numbers on the lottery and had a heart attack, that’s why he has a smile on his face!" The second body is also a man with a smile on his face. The boss says, "He was on his honeymoon in bed and had a stroke, that’s why he has a smile on his face!" The third body is also a man with a smile on his face. The boss says, "That's Bubba. He was struck by lightning," The apprentice interrupts, "Why is he smiling?" The boss replied, "He thought he was getting his photo taken."
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