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08/09/10 08:25 AM #1684    

 

Gary Grice

Quick stop just to say - HAPPY BIRTHDAY PEEWEE!!!!!  Hope you drop by to pick up all of the birthday wishes and leave a note to let everyone know you were here.  Don, 3 out of 4, not a bad BD present!  Go Braves!  Quick work day today.  I'll be taking off shortly to go to Mrs. Hughes (Granny) Funeral.  Hope everyone has a BLESSED week.  Later.


08/09/10 09:52 AM #1685    

 

Donald Chandler

Good Morning, Class of ’68…

My thoughts and prayers go out to Gary and Sherron and your entire family on the loss of Sherron’s grandmother.  She lived a long life and I’m sure she was a blessing to all of you.  May God bless and comfort you.

Thanks for all the birthday wishes!!!  I had a wonderful birthday weekend here in Marietta.  And, Jim… Liz did let me play inside out of the heat all weekend.  On Friday night, she took me out to dinner and a movie.  We went to one of our favorite Chinese Restaurants and then went to see “Robin Hood” with Russell Crowe and Cate Blanchet… great movie with great casting too!  Lots of action for us guys, but even Liz loved the movie.  We even got home in time for me to see the Braves game (rain delay).  I got to stay up past my curfew, and the Braves lost a tough one to the Giants (they had it won and gave it away in the ninth).  But Gary, you’re right… winning 3 out of 4 is great!... especially against a good team like the Giants with great pitching!  I’ll take that any day.  I think that Jim might agree.  By the way, Jim... I'm sure you were sad to see Tiger have such a bad weekend.  :-)

Then yesterday on my birthday, Liz organized a Sunday Brunch Birthday Celebration after church at a nearby restaurant… a “surprise” gathering that I’ve known about for several weeks now.  :-)  15 church friends joined us for a great time together of food, fun and fellowship.  So now I join you other mates who have already turned 60.  I know I’ve done my share of teasing as each of you have reached that milestone this year.  So far… 60 feels pretty much like 59 did.  And with that, I would like to wish PEE WEE a HAPPY BIRTHDAY today.  To steal a line from Connie… “Welcome to the 60’s”!

Diane... hope that you and Dick are having a nice time with Dick's Mom visiting you from Georgia. 

Don’t forget to vote in the State Runoff tomorrow, folks.  If any of you political junkies out there (Gary and Jim or anyone else), have any preferences in the Governor’s race…Handel vs Deal, I’d be interested in hearing what you have to say.  I voted for Handel in the Primary and will vote for whichever one prevails when we go to the polls in November.

Have great week, mates.  Reporting live from Marietta, this is Don, Sexagenarian.

BTW... we have touched on the subject of interesting names now and then... I was watching SportsCenter the other night and they were showing the highlights (or "lowlights") on a baseball player from another team... named "Ben Dover".  :-)  I think his parents should have been spanked. 


08/10/10 09:34 AM #1686    

 

Gary Grice

Happy Tuesday one and all.  Thought I'd start the day off with a little humor just to give eveyone a little chuckle.  For some reason, when I read this story, one of our classmates came to mind.  ???  Later.

Always wear clean underwear in public, especially when working under your vehicle... From the Northwest Florida Daily News comes this story of a Crestview couple who drove their car to Wal-Mart, only to have their car break down in the parking lot.

The man told his wife to carry on with the shopping while he fixed the car in the lot. The wife returned later to see a small group of people near the car.

On closer inspection, she saw a pair of male legs protrudin from under the chassis. Although the man was in shorts, his lack of underpants turned private parts into glaringly public ones. Unable to stand the embarrassment, she dutifully stepped forward, quickly put her hand UP his shorts, and tucked everything back into place.

On regaining her feet, she looked across the hood and found herself staring at her husband who was standing idly by.

The mechanic, however, had to have three stitches in his forehead.


08/10/10 10:24 AM #1687    

 

Gary Grice

Okay, if you are through laughing, I'd like to share a little wisdom with you.  I'm starting to think about and preparing for retiring in a couple of years.  Of course, I want to make sure I can afford to retire and in my research, I came across the following story.  It really makes you stop and think about what is important and what your goals SHOULD be.  Later.

A boat docked in a tiny Greek island.  A tourist complimented the local fishermen on the quality of their fish and asked how long it took to catch them.

“Not very long.” they answered in unison.
“Why didn’t you stay out longer and catch more?”
The fishermen explained that their small catches were sufficient to meet their needs and those of their families.
“But what do you do with the rest of your time?”
“We sleep late, fish a little, play with our children, and take siestas with our wives.  In the afternoons we have a snack at the beach or go into the village to see our friends at the Kafenio, have a few drinks and play tavli.  In the evenings we go to a taverna play the bouzouki and sing a few songs, maybe break a plate or two.  We have a full life.”
The tourist interrupted,  “I have an MBA from Harvard and I can help you!  You should start by fishing longer every day. You can then sell the extra fish you catch.  With the extra revenue, you can buy a bigger boat.”
“And after that?”
 ”With the extra money the larger boat will bring, you can buy a second one and a third one and so on until you have an entire fleet of trawlers.  Instead of selling your fish to a middle man, you can then negotiate directly with the processing plants and maybe even open your own plant. You can then leave this little village and move to Athens or even London . From there you can direct your huge new enterprise.”
“How long would that take?”  
“Twenty, perhaps twenty-five years.” replied the tourist.  
“And after that?”  
“Afterwards? Well my friend, that’s when it gets really interesting,” answered the tourist, laughing.  “When your business gets really big, you can start buying and selling stocks and make millions!”    
“Millions? Really?  And after that?” asked the fishermen.
“After that you’ll be able to retire, live in a tiny village near the coast, sleep late, play with your children, catch a few fish, take a siesta with your wife and spend your evenings drinking and enjoying your friends.”  
“With all due respect, that’s exactly what we are doing now.  So what’s the point wasting twenty-five years?” asked the Greek fishermen?

 


08/10/10 12:26 PM #1688    

 

Jimmy Willis

Good Morning Mates!

Pee Wee I'm sorry I missed your birthday! Been away from the office

since last week. Beth has been having some problems. As it turns out

she has been having gall bladder problems! And it is being removed

tomorrow morning.  But I hope you had a great one!

Yes Gary 3 of 4 is great! And you know what Don--- Tiger has become

almost a non-problem anymore. He has got so many "Demons" in

that big head I don't know if he knows if he is coming or going! He is

a great influence in golf. But he's having so much trouble I don't feel

he will be much of a factor the rest of this year. These young kids on

the tour now are not bothered by anyone! And it really makes the

game better!!!

Got to run guys, Beth is having pre-op today and surgery tomorrow

morning. I'll be back Thursday! Have a great week!

Later 

  


08/10/10 03:58 PM #1689    

 

Gary Grice

Jim, I wish Beth well on her surgery.  I had mine done the old fashion way - BIG incision and out of work for a month - but I would go through it again in a heart beat.  I'm not ashammed to admit that when I was having a gall bladder attack - suicide was an option!  Any discomfort from the surgery was a welcome relief.  Since then I've been able to eat ANYTHING I wanted without fear.  We will keep her (as well as you) in our prayers for a speedy recovery.  Later. 


08/10/10 10:17 PM #1690    

 

Connie Morgan (White)

Jim, please tell Beth we hope all goes great with the surgery and that she is soon feeling better!

Oh Gary, your joke made me laugh.

Diane and Dick, I am sure you are enjoying having Ms. Tweet up there.

Nancy, I think of you every time I see something in the paper about the Navy school closing.  That is so sad to me.  It has been in Athens nearly as long as we have been alive.    Another change, and I've about decided I'm not too crazy about most of the changes going on.

Take care sweet friends.

-----this is a later post, and I am afraid a sad one.....  One of my sons called tonight and said he understands that Jim Bob Tiller was killed tonight.  I am pretty sure that is our Jimmy Tiller's son.  Thoughts and prayers are with the family..


08/11/10 08:55 AM #1691    

 

Donald Chandler

I am so sorry to hear of the death of Jimmy Tiller's son, Jim Bob.  My prayers go out to Jimmy and the entire family.  Life is very tough at times.  May God Bless and comfort all of you.

And Jim... my thoughts and prayers are with you and Beth today too.  I am praying for a successful gall bladder surgery for Beth and a complete and speedy recovery.  Blessings to you both.  Please keep us posted, Jim.


08/11/10 02:52 PM #1692    

 

Diane Harris (Moore)

I just heard about Jim Bob Tiller's death, and it saddens me deeply. Losing a child must be the hardest kind to endure, and I'm just so sorry. My love to you, Jimmy, if you read this.

And to Jim and Beth, here's adding my wishes and prayers for a quick recovery from the gall bladder surgery. I'm sorry it was needed, but glad that you will be all better by wedding time.

A hug from my heart to all of you...

08/12/10 09:56 AM #1693    

 

Jimmy Willis

Morning Mates,

     All is well in Middle Georgia! Beth had the surgery and she had

no major problems. It's truly amazing what they do with what

was major surgery just a few short years ago. She had the

surgery at 10:30 yesterday morning. We were at home at 2:30.

The doctor says she will be good as new by Monday! Amazing!!!

Anyway, she has her drugs and Po (our dog) to take care of

her today. We thank you guys for the well wishes!

    So very sorry about Jimmy's son. It's always bad when your

loss is someone close. But, the hurt of losing a child! That's

something that nothing helps. So Jimmy if you read these

sites, please understand we are here for you!

    I was able to get home yesterday to see the Braves game.

This is a team that you just can't figure! I know Tommy

Hanson, (one of Atlanta's young pitchers), is most likely

upset. But they did win with the help  of another Grand

Slam! I don't think I have ever heard of any team ever

doing this.

     At any rate it's good to have Beth's problem solved

with out a hitch. And so good to be able to say that!

We'll catch you guy's later! Braves Win! Braves Win!

Jim

 


08/12/10 12:36 PM #1694    

 

Gary Grice

Welcome to Thursday!  I just did a look back to verify, Jimmy Tiller has never signed onto the website.   Not sure if he drops by just to read what's going on, but my prayers are offered up in the loss of his son.  The news reports make the loss even worse.  Jimmy, if you happen to visit - all I can say is how truly sorry I am for your loss.

Had my quarterly check-up this morning. BP 118/76, A1C 5.5, Weight 176.  I guess that 2.5 mile walk each morning must be working.  Got a gold star and told no need to come back for 4 months.  Jim, glad Beth is doing so well.  Medical science has come a long way!  I spent a week in the hospital and still waiting to be as good as new!  Hope you are all having a great week.  Later.


08/12/10 03:23 PM #1695    

 

Connie Morgan (White)

Gary Grice,  brag, brag, brag!   All of your numbers from your Dr. visit are better than mine! 


08/13/10 08:42 AM #1696    

 

Diane Harris (Moore)

Gary, great to hear you are doing so well! Connie and I may have to take you out behind the barn and beat you up a little, just because.

Jimmy, so happy that Sherron's surgery went well. Gall bladder surgery has come such a long way.

Don, you always have such interesting updates about you and your Liz, and they are fun to read.

On a completely unrelated note, but I was reminded when I wrote "surgery", did you hear about the elderly man who had a pea sprout in his lung? Sounds like a joke, but it wasn't. He swallowed wrong, it went down his windpipe and ended up in his lung, but he didn't realize it. He developed an awful cough, and was convinced his emphysema had worsened into cancer. That's when further test confirmed he had a pea plant growing in his lung. He's fine now. The surgeon said our lungs are like green houses. Enough Friday trivia, sorry.

GAIL!!! Happy Birthday, dear friend! Hope you're having a blast with your sons and Marvin down on the lake. Your big day may have landed on Friday the 13th this year, but it was a very, very good day when you were born.

Have a great weekend one and all.

08/13/10 08:46 AM #1697    

 

Connie Morgan (White)

HAPPY BIRTHDAY GAIL!!!!!!!!!!   Hope it is a special, special time for you.  So glad you have your family together.

Sorry to hear about Chipper Jones torn ACL.   Go Braves!

Diane, is that a true story about the pea in the lung??  What did they do?

Jim, hope Beth is recovering with no ill effects from recent surgery.  She has things to do and money to spend to get ready for a wedding.

Seriously Gary, I am glad to hear about your good doctor's report.  Does Sherron have a to-do list for you this w/e?  If she runs out of things that need doing, I have a list here that I would accept volunteer help with.    I bought an electric chain-saw (I can no longer pull starters to crank things) about a month ago, and have used it several times.  Diane, my son's don't live across the country like yours, but they don't make it to Crawford very often (with the possible exception of hunting season  :).  

Don and Liz, have a good w/e there in the big chicken country.  It always sounds like you have such enjoyable things to do.

Diane and Dick, I know you are enjoying Ms. Tweet being there!!   Sweet lady.

Kathy, Judy, Janie, Ray....  would love to hear from you and and others in the class when your time permits. 

I'm headed to Chattanooga for the w/e for a cousin's wedding.

I hope everyone has a good week-end.   I've always been one of those people that liked to think about good old memories.  Our class getting together for our 40th. was just wonderful and a blessing -  and I do think of all of you often.


08/13/10 09:09 AM #1698    

 

Jimmy Willis

Morning Mates!!!

     HAPPY BIRTHDAY GAIL! I sincerely hope you have many many

more.

     Not much going on in Middle Georgia. Kid's going back to school.

So you guys be careful out there. Those great flashing yellow monsters

are back on our highways. Strange but seems like another life when

we were catching the bus. My girls call it "in the old days"! Now

you know that an't right!

     Well, I hope you guys remembered to take your meds this morning.

And for goodness sake don't forget those support hose!

Later guys!!! 


08/13/10 10:01 AM #1699    

 

Donald Chandler

Good Morning, Class of 68.

I would like to add to the chorus and sing HAPPY BIRTHDAY, GAIL!!!  As a veteran 60-year old for 5 days now, I welcome Gail to the club!  I wish you a wonderful visit with your family this weekend.  HAVE FUN!

Connie… be very, very careful with that chainsaw.  We don’t need any more drama from Crawford.  Have a great trip to Chattanooga!

Diane… I see on Facebook that a certain visitor from Georgia is keeping you busy SHOPPING.  And BTW… I see in the news that Greg McGarity will be named the new Athletic Director at UGA today!  Congratulations!  Didn’t you say that he is your cousin?  My question is this… since you and I are cousins, and you and Greg are cousins, would that mean that Greg and I are cousins too?  :-)  GO DAWGS!

Gary… great numbers on the physical!  I will join Connie and say that all or your numbers are better than mine.  And that reminds me that I need to go in for a past due complete physical to get an update on those numbers.

Jim... glad that Beth's surgery went well.  You mean to say there are still yellow school buses out there in 2010?  BTW, Jim...it's been a tough week for our Braves… looks like Chipper’s career is done… and just when he was our hottest hitter too.  With all the adversity this team has had, it is really amazing that we are still in first place, but it won’t be easy to stay there.  Should be a good home series this weekend against the Los Angeles Dodgers… GO BRAVES!  BEAT THE BUMS!!

Well… I went to a new Bible Study at church this week… a class called “SEX, DRUGS, AND ROCK ‘N ROLL: Pure Living in a Polluted World.”  It’s a special 3-week Men’s Study.  I figure that even though I am now a sexagenarian, it is still never too late to learn a thing or two.  Actually it was a very good study (based on Psalm 15) and NOTHING to do with sex, drugs, or rock ‘n roll.  BummerI think they gave it that title just to get us guys there.  It worked!

I suppose the Republicans are done with slinging mud at each other for now, and Nathan Deal won the run-off.  It has been so nice not to be getting those annoying phone message endorsements the last few days.  I do plan to vote for Deal on election day.  REMEMBER IN NOVEMBER!

Keep cool out there everyone.  I got out and mowed the lawn late yesterday, and it was very HOT AND HUMID!  And it was another reminder that I am 60 and not 16.

Liz and I will probably have a quiet weekend.  We may go to see “The Prince of Persia”.  Any of you seen that one?  Thumbs up or thumbs down?

And a final note… keep the Jimmy Tiller family in your prayers this weekend.  From the internet reports and comments I’ve read, this is a very, very tough one, folks.  And Jimmy and his family could use an extra dose of prayer as they lay his son to rest.

And a HAPPY FRIDAY THE 13TH to all of you.  Have a great weekend, mates! 


08/13/10 10:46 AM #1700    

 

Gary Grice

HAPPY BIRTHDAY GAIL!!! And a LUCKY Friday 13th to everyone! 

Yes, I am quite proud of my numbers but it seems everyone is over looking the most important - 2.5 MILE WALKS!!  Its tough rising early and beginning my walk in the dark, but it does appear to be paying off.  Sherron and I have been walking 4 to 5 mornings a week for about a month now.  I am hoping we can run in a 5K together this fall.  So far, Sherron has refused to run but I'm not giving up - yet. 

Yes Connie, my weekend is booked to the max.  I'm trying to get a house ready to rent.  The painters should finish today and then I get to go to work - flooring, counter tops, disposal, etc.  I'm was hoping to have it ready by Labor Day but its looking more like the first of October. 

Oh Don, the joys of cutting grass!  I cut last night until it was too dark to see.  I hope I can finish this evening as it is supposed to rain all weekend!  And the cycle continues - rain, sunshine, cut grass (repeat).  And can you believe I pay some guy to fertilize my lawn to make it grow faster!?!?  What's wrong with that picture?

I'm suffering from neck and eye strain something fierce this week.  Yeah, its Rush Week and I HAVE to commute up and down Milledge Avenue.  (Guys eat your hearts out!)

Today's little bit of humor is also profound bit of wisdom.  Never underestimate the understanding of a child.  Later.

A Sunday School teacher decided to have her young class memorize one of the most quoted passages in the Bible; Psalm 23. She gave the youngsters a month to learn the chapter. Little Rick was excited about the task — but, he just couldn’t remember the Psalm. After much practice, he could barely get past the first line. On the day that the kids were scheduled to recite Psalm 23 in front of the congregation, Ricky was so nervous. When it was his turn, he stepped up to the microphone and said proudly, “The Lord is my Shepherd, and that’s all I need to know.”

 


08/13/10 02:32 PM #1701    

 

Jimmy Willis

To many "little black dresses" right Gary?! Man!!!


08/13/10 04:03 PM #1702    

 

Gary Grice

Jim, ole buddy, you are half right.  I don't recall seeing any BLACK dresses, but LITTLE .... Oh yeah!!  Later.


08/14/10 03:48 AM #1703    

 

Kathy Carter (Campbell)

Hi Everyone,

HAPPY BIRTHDAY Gail, hope it's a great one. Seems like it has been ages since I;ve checked in. I saw on Fb about Dick's mom & Diane's shopping sprees, sounds like ya;ll are having fun.

We went to Ga. for a week to visit family/friends & rest Dear Connie invited us to be her house guest & we so enjoyed the peace, quiet & rest. Since we have been back we have had our girls staying w/us for 3=4 days a week while Beth has been in school this summer, so I just have not taken the time to check in. We had Homecoming day at our church last Sunday and we have had revival services this weekHopppe things slow down a bit this week. our girls begin school on Monday.

On Tuesday we will be celebrating our 42nd anniversary.

I was so sorry to hear about Jimmy's son. My prayers are with him, such a tragedy.

Hope evryone has a good weekend.


08/16/10 10:59 AM #1704    

 

Gary Grice

Rejoice! Only 4 more days to Friday! I don't know why I look forward to weekends - I always work myself to death and have to come to my job to get some rest. Oh well. I trust you all had a good weekend. Friday and Saturday rain showers and grandkids yesterday kept me from completing my lawn mowing. After that rain the grass will be knee high before I get back to it. Can't wait for winter!! I know you all need a little chuckle to get you going - even if it is a little too close to the truth, so here is you Monday Ha Ha! Later.

A little girl was sitting on her grandfather's lap as he read her a bedtime story. From time to time, she would take her eyes off the book and reach up to touch his wrinkled cheek. She was alternately stroking her own cheek, then his again.

Finally she spoke up, "Grandpa, did God make you?"

"Yes, sweetheart," he answered, "God made me a long time ago."

"Oh," she said.

"Grandpa, did God make me, too?"

"Yes, indeed, honey," he said.

"God made you just a little while ago."

Feeling their respective faces again, she observed,

"God's getting better at it, isn't He?"

08/16/10 04:32 PM #1705    

 

Gary Grice

Things you just don’t hear any more…
  • Be sure to refill the ice trays, we’re going to have company.
  • Watch for the postman, I want to get this letter to Willie in the mail today .
  • Quit slamming the screen door when you go out !
  • Be sure and pull the windows down when you leave, it looks like a shower is coming up.
  • Don’t forget to wind the clock before you go to bed.
  • Wash your feet before you go to bed, you’ve been playing outside all day barefooted.
  • Why can’t you remember to roll up your britches legs? Getting them caught in the bicycle chain so many times is tearing them up.
  • You have torn the knees out of that pair of pants so many times there is nothing left to put a patch on.
  • Don’t you go outside with your school clothes on!
  • Go comb your hair, it looks like the rats have nested in it all night.
  • Be sure and pour the cream off the top of the milk when you open the new bottle.
  • Take that empty bottle to the store with you so you won’t have to pay a deposit on another one.
  • Put a dish towel over the cake so the flies won’t get on it.
  • Quit jumping on the floor! I have a cake in the oven and you are going to make it fall if you don’t quit!
  • Let me know when the Fuller Brush man comes by, I need to get a few things from him.
  • You boys stay close by, the car may not start and I will need you to help push it off.
  • There’s a dollar in my purse, get 5 gallons of gas when you go to town.
  • Open the back door and see if we can get a breeze through here, it is getting hot.
  • You can walk to the store; it won’t hurt you to get some exercise.
  • Don’t sit too close to the TV. It is hard on your eyes.
  • If you pull that stunt again, I am going to wear you out!
  • Don’t lose that button; I’ll sew it back on after a while.
  • Wash under your neck before you come to the table, you have beads of dirt and sweat all under there.
  • Get out from under the sewing machine; pumping it messes up the thread!
  • Be sure and fill the lamps this morning so we don’t have to do that tonight in the dark.
  • Here, take this old magazine to the toilet with you when you go, we are almost out of paper out there.
  • Go out to the well and draw a bucket of water so I can wash dishes.
  • Don’t turn the radio on now, I want the battery to be up when the Grand Ole Opry comes on.
  • No! I don’t have 10 cents for you to go to the show. Do you think money grows on trees?
  • Eat those turnips, they’ll make you big and strong like your daddy.
  • That dog is NOT coming in this house! I don’t care how cold it is out there, dogs don’t stay in the house.
  • Sit still! I’m trying to get your hair cut straight and you keep moving and it is all messed up.
  • Hush your mouth! I don’t want to hear words like that! I’ll wash your mouth out with soap!
  • It is time for your system to be cleaned out. I am going to give you a dose of castor oil tonight.
  • If you get a spanking in school and I find out about it, you’ll get another one when you get home.
  • Quit crossing your eyes! They will get stuck that way!
  • Soak your foot in this pan of kerosene so that bad cut won’t get infected.
  • When you take your driving test, don’t forget to signal each turn
    • Left arm straight out the window for a left turn; 
    •  left arm bent up at the elbow for a right turn;
    • and straight down to the side of the door when you are going to stop.
  • It’s: ‘Yes Ma’am!’ and ‘No Ma’am!’ to me, young man, and don’t you forget it!
  • Y’all come back now, ya hear.

Later.


08/16/10 04:36 PM #1706    

 

Gary Grice

A little poetry for Jim.  Later.

In My Hand I Hold A Ball,

White And Dimpled, Rather Small.

Oh, How Bland It Does Appear,

This Harmless Looking Little Sphere. 

By Its Size I Could Not Guess, 

The Awesome Strength It Does Possess. 

But Since I Fell Beneath Its Spell, 

I’ve Wandered Through The Fires Of Hell. 

My Life Has Not Been Quite The Same, 

Since I Chose To Play This Stupid Game. 

It Rules My Mind For Hours On End, 

A Fortune It Has Made Me Spend. 

It Has Made Me Yell, Curse And Cry.

I Hate Myself And Want To Die. 

It Promises A Thing Called Par,

If I Can Hit It straight And Far..

To Master Such A Tiny Ball, 

Should Not Be Very Hard At All.. 

But My Desires The Ball Refuses, 

And Does Exactly As It Chooses.

It Hooks And Slices, Dribbles And Dies,

And Even Disappears Before My Eyes. 

Often It Will Have A Whim, 

To Hit A Tree Or Take A Swim.

With Miles Of Grass On Which To Land,

It Finds A Tiny Patch Of Sand.

Then Has Me Offering Up My Soul,

If Only It Would Find The Hole.

It’s Made Me Whimper Like A Pup, 

And Swear That I Will Give It Up..

And Take To Drink To Ease My Sorrow,

But The Ball Knows …. I’ll Be Back Tomorrow. 


08/17/10 09:06 AM #1707    

 

Gary Grice

The Braves in a heart stopper!!  Well I've discovered a lot about exercise and YOU KNOW ME - I HAVE to share my wisdom.  So here is today's brain dump.  Later.

Walking can add minutes to your life.  This enables you at 85 years old to spend an additional 5 months in a nursing home at $7000 per month.

I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me.
 
The only reason I would take up walking is so that I could hear heavy breathing again.
 
I have to walk early in the morning, before my brain figures out what I’m doing..
  
I joined a health club last year, spent about 400 bucks.  Haven’t lost a pound.  Apparently you have to go there.
 
Every time I hear the dirty word ‘exercise’, I wash my mouth out with chocolate.
 
The advantage of exercising every day is so when you die, they’ll say, ‘Well, she looks good doesn’t she.’
 
If you are going to try cross-country skiing, start with a small country.
  
I know I got a lot of exercise the last few years,…… just getting over the hill.

We all get heavier as we get older, because there’s a lot more information in our heads. That’s my story and I’m sticking to it.
  
“Every time I start thinking too much about how I look, I just find a Happy Hour and by the time I leave, “I look just fine.”


08/17/10 09:10 AM #1708    

 

Gary Grice

Hate to monopolize the board but since no one is around this morning .....  Maybe Dick will check in - I know he likes puns and these were created with him in mind.  Enjoy good buddy.  Later.

1. The fattest knight at King Arthur’s round table was Sir Cumference. He acquired his size from too much pi.

2. I thought I saw an eye doctor on an Alaskan island, but it turned out  to be an optical Aleutian .

3. She was only a whiskey maker, but he loved her still.

4. A rubber band pistol was confiscated from algebra class, because it was a weapon of math disruption.

5. No matter how much you push the envelope, it’ll still be stationery.

6. A dog gave birth to puppies near the road and was cited for littering.

7. A grenade thrown into a kitchen in France would result in Linoleum Blownapart.

8. Two silk worms had a race. They ended up in a tie.

9. Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.

10. Atheism is a non-prophet organization.

11. Two hats were hanging on a hat rack in the hallway. One hat said to the other: ‘You stay here; I’ll go on a head.’

12. I wondered why the baseball kept getting bigger. Then it hit me.

13. A sign on the lawn at a drug rehab center said: ‘Keep off the Grass.’

14. A backward poet writes inverse.

15. In a democracy it’s your vote that counts.  In feudalism it’s your count that votes.

16. If you jumped off the bridge in Paris, you’d be in Seine .

17. A vulture boards an airplane, carrying two dead raccoons. The stewardess looks at him and says, ‘I’m sorry, sir, only one carrion allowed per passenger.’

18. Two fish swim into a concrete wall. One turns to the other and says ‘Dam!’

19. Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly, so they lit a fire in the craft. Unsurprisingly it sank, proving once again that you can’t have your kayak and heat it too.

20. Two hydrogen atoms meet. One says, ‘I’ve lost my electron.’ The other says ‘Are you sure?’ The first replies, ‘Yes, I’m positive.’

21. Did you hear about the Buddhist who refused Novocain during a root canal? His goal: transcend dental medication.

22. There was the person who sent ten puns to friends, with the hope that at least one of the puns would make them laugh. No pun in ten did.


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